BS: Monty python quotes

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Tweed
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 10:12 AM

HAW!! This one allus meks me larf and larf. From memory, it goes....

Sir Bedevere : There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1 : Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere : Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1 : Burn them.
Sir Bedevere : And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1 : More witches.
Peasant 2 : Wood.
Sir Bedevere : Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3 : ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere : Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1 : Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere : But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1 : Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere : Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1 : No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere : No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1 : Bread.
Peasant 2 : Apples.
Peasant 3 : Very small rocks.
Peasant 1 : Cider.
Peasant 2 : Gravy.
Peasant 3 : Cherries.
Peasant 1 : Mud.
Peasant 2 : Churches.
Peasant 3 : Lead! Lead!
King Arthur : A Duck.
Sir Bedevere : ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1 : If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere : And therefore...
Peasant 2 : ...A witch!

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: HuwG
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 10:12 AM

Quotes from Monty Python's Life of Brian

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 09:44 AM

"Oi'll 'ave the lot."

Wahfer thin mint

I seem to quote "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" (all of the books, radio shows, etc.) a lot, too.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 09:35 AM

"Crucifixion?" .... "Nah, freedom, mate."

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 09:31 AM

Actually the French Knight (I fart in your general direction!) scene has a weird link to reality - the English were besieging a certain French castle which ran out of food, except of bread, cheese and garlic. In the tradition in the village today, allegedly the smell of the French Farts was so bad it drove the English away....

I'm not making this up you know...

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Charmion
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 09:20 AM

"THERE IS NO RULE SIX!"
"It's not dead; it's asleep."

I work in an office at the Department of National Defence. These lines come up frequently, sometimes even out loud.

"I seem to have come over all esurient." At lunch-time, any given lunch-time.

"Run away, run away!" Especially at quitting time.

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: The Beast of Farlington
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 09:08 AM

No, you haven't.

Maybe we should start a thread for Python misquotes that you have heard

Like ' the comfy cushion' which was actually 'the comfy chair'


Wjile they are all saying 'the comfy chair', Radio 4 will explode

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 08:53 AM

I've told you once.

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: clueless don
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 08:36 AM

zwei peanuts
vere valking down die strasse
und vun of zem vas assaulted ...
peanut
(hee, hee, hee)

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: GUEST,kingcobra
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 08:03 AM

"Dinsdale"!
(squashed hedgehog)

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: sledge
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 07:05 AM

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: jacqui.c
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 06:40 AM

Gannet on a stick - said by me when reading the book 'Silverlock' out loud to Kendall and coming to the passage referring to the Ancient Mariner and the albatross.....

Since we are both Python fans we use quotes a lot of the time - I'm still waiting for a chance to use 'rat souffle'.

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Dead Horse
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 06:23 AM

Danger! There are Llamas!

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: greg stephens
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 05:20 AM

Not a lot of people know this, but Terry Jones is known to sing folk songs from time to time, and I have recordings to prove it. I appreciate that this is not a quote from Monty Python, but it does tie the thread to Mudcat a little more closely.

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 05:14 AM

"my hovercaft is full of eels" from the suspect Belgian phrase book.

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: muppett
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 05:13 AM

Your Lupins or your life?

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Jeanie
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 05:08 AM

My daughter does the "hamster/elderberry" one a lot. I'll have to see if she says it this week.

For Skipy's "learned research" (as in the first post here) it would be good if people added who they had heard using the Python quotes this week and in what context. Very interesting (...aah...but that was another show entirely !)

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 05:00 AM

French Soldier : I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

From;


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071853/quotes

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 04:57 AM

"We are the Knights who say...Ni...!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Jeanie
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 04:47 AM

Alan Titchmarsh, in his latest TV natural history extravaganza, talked about "The Mighty Scots Pine."

Said by my daughter this very morning on school run (and for no particular reason I could fathom): "Bad Zoot ! Wicked Zoot ! Naughty Zoot !"

I'll listen out for more quotes this week, skipy - I'm sure there'll be some. As you say, so many of their expressions have become common parlance. It's interesting that first generation Python watchers are passing on a love of the Python humour and expressions etc. to the next lot.

Of the comdey around at the moment, it is phrases from "Little Britain" that I'm hearing most often (in our household, at least) e.g. "I'm a laydy", "If you ask me on a Monday, I'd say yase..."

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Dead Horse
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 04:15 AM

Albatross!

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: s6k
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 04:05 AM

he puts on womens clothing, and hangs around in bars

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 03:37 AM

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

"NO - not the comfy cushion!"

"Apart from the aquaducts, roads etc etc, what did the Romans ever do for us?"

"You had a hole in the road, and you think YOU had it rough?"

"This is getting silly!"

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: denise:^)
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 03:32 AM

"Run away; run away..."

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 02:53 AM

Just found it in an interesting article by Michael Moore: Always look on the bright side of life.

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 08 Nov 04 - 01:09 AM

He's not dead, he's just sleeping.
He is not sleeping! This parrot is defunct!


Does it have to be Monty Python?

from Young Frankenstein, "Put..zhe kendle...beck!"

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 10:22 PM

Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink!

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 10:19 PM

Yes Michael

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Metchosin
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 10:10 PM

say no more, say no more

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 10:07 PM

G'day Bruce,
How are you Bruce ?
I'm a bit crook Bruce, just saw a pommy streaker in the Earls Court road.
Must have looked like a bald wallaby

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: beardedbruce
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 10:02 PM

Mind if we call you Bruce to keep things clear?

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 09:48 PM

I'm Brian, and so is my wife.

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 09:26 PM

I wish I'd said that.

You will Oscar, you will.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Metchosin
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 09:22 PM

Her Majesty is like a stream of bat piss.

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 08:37 PM

"He's gotta be the President - he's covered in Shit"

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: freightdawg
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 08:36 PM

"And now for something completely different..."

Freightdawg

Subject: RE: BS: Monty python quotes
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 08:34 PM

Well, 'ow'd you get to be King then?

Subject: BS: Monty python quotes
From: skipy
Date: 07 Nov 04 - 08:19 PM

Monty Python is now 30+ years old, but still we hear quotes from the shows several times a week, or is it just that I hang around with sad poeple?

Use this thread to report Python quotes that you hear during this week, if we don't hear any then the thread will drift to the bottom of the list & die.

Today a friend of mine said "Fear, pain, & surprise"

Skipy