BS: it's about as much use as.......

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 09:31 PM

Segue here... Many -if not all - male mammals have teats. When my daughter was 8 years old we got a male puppy. I was in the other room when she called me. Mom, she said, Rennie's got a tick! I said, OK, I'll be there in a minute. She said, Here's another one. He's got two! I said, OK, OK, just a minute. She said, Here's another one! I said, Kelly, are they in a row? She said, Yes...?

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 08:47 PM

A wart.

A sundial at midnight.

Playground insults among adults.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Alba
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 08:40 PM

.....Eyeglasses for the earless
.....a Condom with a rip
.....Contraception after Menopause
.....a rubber dart
.....a chocolate Trumpet
.....The Christmas present I bought a Relative last year...(she hated it... and now I have it back under the bed cause I don't like it either:>)
Blessings
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 08:11 PM

...a bicycle to an amputee.
...blanks in a firefight.
...another iceberg to the Titanic.
...a clumsy mohel.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 07:35 PM

padding in a coffin...
snot on a necktie...

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Juan P-B
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 06:28 PM

Oi! I've only bin away two weeks and everybody's picking on Martine Gibson - STOP IT!

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and.......

Oh Hello Nurse! Time for my medication already?

Thank you Nurse

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 05:56 PM

I would like to think I could keep abreast of whatever!

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Once Famous
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 05:53 PM

Let me ask, does the tits thing matter if they have brown or pink nipples?

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: skipy
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 05:52 PM

a lesbian without a tongue.
Skipy (just made that up!)

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 05:32 PM

the "tits on (insert random animal)" seems a common one. Tits on fish is the one I know.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: grumpy al
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:09 PM

nice to know you dont take it seriously
all the best Al

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:09 PM

Or perhaps even to others who recognise their style.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Once Famous
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:06 PM

grump al, this particular Guest is so hung up on everything that they don't realize how obvious they are to me.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Once Famous
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:04 PM

He or she won't.

But I don't care. I figure they just don't want anyone to know that they gargle with pee-pee.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: grumpy al
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:02 PM

Now Now Guest that is getting much to personal. This is meant to be a bit of fun

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:01 PM

Always the GUEST who knocks Martin Gibson....reveal yourself GUEST....

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:00 PM

About as much use as:
       Trying to explain music to Martin Gibson.
       Trying to explain anything rational to Martin Gibson.
       A dick on Martin Gibson.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: grumpy al
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:51 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Helen
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:50 PM

................ a pocket in a pair of underpants

and I found these in a search on the net:

As much use as a trap door on a lifeboat
As useful as a grave robber in a crematorium
As much use as a lead parachute

Helen

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Once Famous
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:50 PM

Stay cool, G-silver guy.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: grumpy al
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:45 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:43 PM

It's a clause....claws...in my contract...LOL

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: grumpy al
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:41 PM

OOOOOH!! Geogiansilver put the claws away.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:38 PM

Now GUEST Diogenes..your post reflects a sort of niaivety unobserved for some while...Martin Gibson...where he may annoy some...disturb some...play with some.....is not useless....He gets more attention than you do!!!!
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Once Famous
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:37 PM

it's about as much use as guest, Diogenes' syphilis.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: GUEST,Diogenes
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:28 PM

....Martin Gibson.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:16 PM

"Useless as tits on a boar hog" is one I've actually heard.

"Ain't worth a hoot in a whirlwind" is one my father used a lot. I think "hoot" here is a euphemism for "fart."

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:15 PM

Greg-there's a few of them pubs in Hull now, it can be fun at closing time seeing pissed up youths fighting or more often threatening to fight with each other, just last week I saw 2 youths kids in tracksuits stood about 10 feet apart shouting at each other "Come on then!, "no, you come on then!",
"come over here and say that"
"no, you come over here, and say it"
etc,etc.

then usually one of their girlfrends will shout=
"leave it Wayne, he's not werth it"!

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:02 PM

Martin, you actually made me laugh....Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Once Famous
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:48 PM

A Herman Munster mask on John Kerry.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:37 PM

ROFLOL

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: grumpy al
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:36 PM

hi Geogiansilver Bigots on mudcat I can't think what you mean ho ho ho

keep the ideas coming

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:33 PM

An arsehole on a turd!

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:31 PM

Rubber strings on a guitar

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:27 PM

It's about as much use as an extra p.... on a honeymoon.
"   "    "   "   "    " wings on a pig.
"   "    "   "   "    " bull in a china shop
"   "    "   "   "    " some of the bigots on mudcat
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: greg stephens
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:21 PM

......a wet fart in a thunderstorm.
....a folk session in one of the repellent pubs and clubs that have taken over the centre of Newcatle-under-Lyme in order to sell coloured vodka to children.

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: grumpy al
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:21 PM

thanks Leadfingers all ideas welcome

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:20 PM

Tits on a bull.
Geoge W Bush at a peace conference.


Giok

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:16 PM

"As useful as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking competion."

Or "As exciting as a MISTER Wet Tee-Shirt Competition."

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:14 PM

a chocolate teapot

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: Leadfingers
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:14 PM

Do you want things like 'Welcome as a fart in a spacesuit' as well ??

Subject: RE: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:06 PM

a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Subject: BS: it's about as much use as.......
From: grumpy al
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 02:03 PM

so lets see who has the funniest most unusual "it's about as much use as" lines. Hers a few to get you going.

mudflaps on a spaceship

chocolate fireguard

ash tray on a motorbike

tits on a goldfish