BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 05:59 AM

Just a note for Chris Nightbird, sorry you feel the way you do about guests, but some of us can only access the net from work and so (at the moment) have to remain as guests. As soon as I can find a reliable and (very) cheap PC for home I shall join immediately. From posts you have made in the past I am surprised at you.

That apart, I know just how Pauline feels. Been there, done that, left wearing nothing but the T shirt. Sort of OK now, but at times it is a very narrow path to tread.

Love to all

Pete

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 04:02 AM

From what someone else says - you are a performer.

What I didn't realise for many years is that this marks you out over a lot of people and means you have a lot more bottle than most and probably skills.

One job I really loved was being an instore Santa Claus. Its like being a star. You walk through the store with all your gear on and you outshine evrybody.

the nice thing is, unlike Elton John, who is stuck with being a star. You can take all the gear off, the beard and everything and go back to being you. It really weird walking through the store and nobody looking at you. Ten minutes before you were a cynosure.

If you get the buzz from audiences, unlike most people who just get attack of the willies, there tons of career opportunities. You don't have to be out of work. Took me AGES to realise that.

Right now, I do a gig for old peoples homes. You have to think carefully what they want. Its not doing maybe what you dreamed of when you first played guitar - but its using talent to give people what they want. the trouble is with your situation I guess blind panic sets in - why wouldn't it.

But trust me, if you're a player theres ALWAYS stuff out there.

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: open mike
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 03:26 AM

a while back i was experiencing many many changes in mylife..
parents dying, seperation and divorce from hubby of 25 years,
children leaving home, and to top it all off, just lately my dog died.
sounds like some sort of twisted country song...
but some how, just somehow, if you can find it in you to see
the problems as opportunities....chances to change, see things different
and go in new directions (like was said earlier...a door opens when one
closes) The best help i found when i was floundering around with all the losses was a book by pema Chodron, a buddhist monk or "nun" called
"When things fall apart" "Heart Advice for difficult times" and if you
want to p.m. me with you raddress i will send you a tape of her reading it. with hopes that it will help in some small way. Laurel
i hope you have a tape recorder/player...

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 03:03 AM

Oh, hell. I've been there. Do your best to work the system - there's all kinds of money and assistance out there, but you have to grub for it - you have to ask the right question of the right person at the right time, so ask a lot of questions. If you go somewhere determined to get help, don't take no for an answer - don't leave without SOMETHING to show for it, even if it's not what you came for, even if it's just information or a referral or somebody else to talk to who might know of something that can help you. Somebody above mentioned temp jobs - temp jobs are great, and I've gotten at least three fulltime permanent jobs by starting as a temp. Just be as professional as possible, and don't let the temp agency send you on too many envelope stuffing jobs, because those are always deadend. Also, sign up with more than one agency. Some agencies have training centers where you can work through tutorials for computer programs you're not familiar with, too. School systems are always looking for subs, too, if you can stand the kids.

My heart goes out to you, and what Cluin said is absolutely true.
--Suzanne

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Gurney
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:38 AM

Pauline, sympathy from me because it has happened to me, one too many times.
I'm a bloke, so along with the sympathy, I'll offer you my fix.

The last time, seven years ago, I started my own business. This was a worrying punt, as I had absolutely no business experience, but it has fed my family for those seven years. I've always been a handyman, and now I'm a professional handyman, with more work than I need.

I wouldn't recommend my line unless you have experience, but there are opportunities everywhere if you have a talent.
You could swallow your pride and 'phone previous employers asking about temp. work.
Interior painting and decorating, including rag-rolling. Wallpaper-stripping, all you need is a steamer and a short ladder. Gardening, particularly weeding. Domestic cleaning, babysitting, clothing alterations. All these are jobs that don't require great strength or investment, and here at least are in demand. Maybe others can offer more ideas.   Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:08 AM

Well you obviously knew to come to the right place, Pauline!

There are lots of us at MC who have tales of woe, and I agree that the ability to share them, and ask for a little positive energy to come your way is a good start.

But I also agree that you need to watch yourself carefully and not fall into a depression. This is imperative for you to be able to move forward.

So please take the advice of everyone here, and help yourself first in whatever why you can, then find those who are in a position to be of support and service.

Mostly, remember that all things change. It's both a blessing and a curse, but in the end, it can be very comforting to know.

Best Wishes to you...xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: JennieG
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:03 AM

In December 2000 I left a secure job because I was the victim of bullying by my boss, and I couldn't see it getting any better. I wasn't sure I would get another job (because of my age, and because my experience is in a particular field) but since then have had 3 - all found because in each case a friend had contacted me and said "we need someone where I work, are you interested?" I have been in my current job since April 2002 and plan to stay for a long time yet.
Let as many people as you can in your area - friends - contacts - know you are available. I don't know if the informal networking works where you are, but I have heard that only a very small percentage of jobs are ever advertised, the rest are filled by networking and word-of-mouth.
Meantime don't be hard on yourself!

Cheers and hugs
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: hesperis
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 11:00 PM

Those suicide hotlines suck!!! Still, it is sometimes helpful to be able to talk to a real live human being who's trying to care about you. Assuming you can reach a live human being when you call... *rollseyes*

Anyway. I've been homeless for the past three years and was on welfare for most of my life. If not for the help of some people (some of them mudcatters) I would be too sick even to work at home.

Welfare now has programs available to those who want to start their own businesses as a way of getting off it... the info isn't readily available but the programs do exist. The programs are designed in such as way that it's almost impossible to succeed on them, but they can help.

Use the government as much as you can to get by. Seriously.

I'm married now and it'll still be a long while before both of us are out of the woods as he has some health conditions that make working difficult as well... but we're hanging on and it is slowly getting better.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: dianavan
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 10:53 PM

Pauline - I know this is a tough time for you but remember that all things pass in time.

Take this opportunity to discover what it is you want to do. I mean it. Get creative. So many people are stuck in their jobs they never have the chance to explore other possibilities. This is also a good time to 'make family'. I'm not kidding. Cultivate those friendships. The more people you know, the better the chance of landing a job.

I know how hard it can be but it will not last. By this time next year, you will be feeling fine. The only truth is that things change.

d

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 10:47 PM

Pauline, I've never been particularly good coming up with ideas or words of advice to help people when they are going through tough and painful times in life, but I am a good listener and I know for me, sometimes just having someone listen helps.   

Unfortunately on the internet you can't tell that anyone out there is listening unless they type something, so I did. As Tinker said, "Keep talking".

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: dwditty
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 10:14 PM

Pauline,

Guest,Ed is all wrong. Positive energy can very well be sent over the internet. I bet if you asked Catspaw he would confirm it, as well as many others here. The energy comes in different ways...from some it is prayer, others it is advice, still others send light...whatever it is, it cannot hurt to know that a large group of people spread all over the place have paused for a moment to wish you well. Don't take that lightly. In fact, breath in deeply. Inhale it. Use it as a spark to create positive thoughts. As much grousing as takes place here, I have found that even some of the crustiest of us really do care. So here are thoughts from me.

Of course, Mose Allison said it well when he sang, "I Don't Worry 'Bout a Thing, 'Cause I Know Nothin's Gonna Be Alright" but that is for a different thread.

dw

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: CarolC
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 09:25 PM

Well, I know that kind words of compassion and encouragement over the internet do indeed help, having been on the receiving end of some of them, and having benefited greatly from them.

So I send you those I have to give. I'm very sorry you are and have been experiencing such a difficult time these last few years. I hope that things will begin to improve for you immediately, and that you will never hesitate to reach out to others for help and/or moral support when you need it. Many of us know how it feels to be in your situation, so you're not as alone as you might think. Hang in there... things do eventually turn around.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Tinker
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 09:18 PM

Hi Pauline,

Lot's of good stuff here already, but as one of the folks who've actually met you in 3D I want to add a few words along with my cyber-best. I've watched you play and bring out wonderful accents in others songs. Sometimes life goes right over the top for alot of us, and just getting through a list of must do's seems way too much, but then the sun comes back out. Especially this time of year as the days get longer make sure you're getting some sun everyday. And music for your soul. And we'll be here too...keep talking

Blessings and Light

Tinker

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Bobert
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 08:08 PM

Sniff...

I'm real sorry, Pauline... Like supreme bummmer, but...

... sounds like yer a purdy danged good worker so that is good news for yer next boss.

Until he finds you, you will be in my thought and prayers (really) so keep us posted. Okay?

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Janie
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:58 PM

Hang in there Pauline! You WILL find another job. Life truly is "one thing after another" and sometimes we get a run of the hard things. I am so very glad you are asking for help and support here, and hope and pray you will seek professional help if you need it. Will hold you in my thoughts and prayers.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: mg
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:54 PM

Good luck. It might help if yo gave a general idea of what country, state, general area you are in and what kind of work you have done or are willing and able to do...nothing worse than looking for work...for me anyway. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Hollowfox
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:54 PM

Sins, I don't have the time to give the whole story right now (library closes in a few minutes), but these are, er, unfortunate candles. they're cracked, warped, etc. The first ones were the color of s#!t. So I figured that burning them would get rid of a bit of ugly in the world. And it seems to work. Marythepyrophile

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: akenaton
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:43 PM

Pauline I dont usually get involved in personal threads, but I was touched by your post .
You sound a good and sincere person and I hope things take a turn for the better in your life.
Im not a religious man but Iv found that in life the bad things you suffer are often compensated in some way.

Coming through these hardships can give you an inner strength and an understanding of the important things in life.
I sincerely hope that you find strength and happiness in the near future...Ake

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:28 PM

I haven't worked via temp agencies for many years, but sometimes they help keep the wolf from the door. Try them. Not just for office work.

Local driving deliveries jobs are good for women: in the UK they hire women for this rather than men because men have worse crash records. You often need to phone round rather than wait for job ads to appear.

You don't give us much clue what your skills might be. In the UK charities often hire women because they can get away with paying them less.

Join a union and vote - in the UK you would have had probable unfair dismissal and/or redundancy claims.

Claim every benefit you can. Pride is for the rich.

Offer to work part time as a volunteer in pro bono sectors that interest you - a paid vacancy may come along.

I know a number of people who turn regular profits from ebay trading. Find a niche, and concentrate on the content of your sale ads. Some I know use sewing skills to produce clothes and similar items. I know one male transvestite who makes a fortune selling used underwear on ebay, honestly!

If you are a keen gardner, many women would rather hire a female gardner than a male one, but this is a bit the wrong time of year. Similarly painting and decorating, but here you can try to get in on the "do it before xmas" routine.

Above all concentrate on being inventive and opportunistic. You will have to fight: do it intelligently, and good luck. I hope this reads helpfully, and not as "brace up and get on with it" for that is not what I mean.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: bbc
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:19 PM

Pauline, I sympathize. I started work from a divorce I didn't want, w/ 2 small children to care for. I lost my 1st 3 jobs in 1-2 years each, even though I was trying my best. After the 3rd one, I was unemployed for 2 years, because I was trying to find a job that would support me & my kids in the expensive area where we needed to live, so they could have visitation w/ their dad & stay in their school system. Finally, I got to a job in a school district an hour from my home. It was small, rural, & not nearly as high-paying as some of the jobs I'd had, but they kept me! All in all, between job woes & legal battles w/ my ex, I went through a rocky 10 years or so. Now, life is pretty stable & I feel strong & self-confident. I'm a bit more cynical than I started out, but that may be all to the good. I leaned on God, family, & friends to get me through & none failed me. I wish you well; don't give up!

best from New York,

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:15 PM

I give up. What is a reduction candle? On sale at Pier One? Guaranteed to cause weight loss? Or will any vilely scented (read overscented) bit of wax do?
SINSULL
PS Thank you for burning one for me.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Hollowfox
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:55 PM

Positive energy over the 'net might not work, but knowing that there are a bunch of people who igve a damn does make a difference. (Speaking from experience here.) So, your genuine purebred Midwest @$#%-reduction candle will get fired up tonight when I get home from work (a bit more than an hour), and set right next to Sinsull's.
On a more pragmatic note, stores are hiring for the holidays, if you can go that route. It's a temporary fix, but better than nothing. And temp services have helped me along in times past.
Yes, the tide will turn. Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:46 PM

Theres this line in the film The Commitments, 'its much better being an unemployed musician than an unemployed plumber'

I 'm sure that must sound flippant, but its really not intended as such. Its hard to see the good things about your life when problems loom up in such a way but as the poet auden says 'life remains a blessing although you my not bless'. Just because the job hasn't worked out, you are still a lot of good things - maybe a musician is one of them - if not, I'm sure theres something that makes a day seem sweeter for you.

I was compelled into inactivity at various times in my life. My wife was disabled and there was no one else to look after her - so my career went out the window. i did all kinds of stuff. read a lot -libraries are free here in the uk. wrote a play which never got put on, and a novel which never got published - but at least I learned how useless a writer I was. Some people go through life deluding themselves on that score! oh yeh played the guitar - which is what I do now for a sort of living!

A bit like dustin Hoffman says in Tootsie, just cos your unemployed - it doesn't mean you stop working. but work for yourself!

I feel sure that your situation will improve. here on mudcat we're all wishing you all the very best, and our fingers are crossed for the next job interview you go to. keep us posted, and talk to us if it helps a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:39 PM

I third Marion's comments. If it all becomes too much, get help. I was forced to by good friends when depression kept me from eating or sleeping for four days. Finally lost some weight but a bit of mind in the process too. You have friends to help you through this, lady. But if suicide is an option, get professional help immediately. Many of us here have been there. PM anyone who has posted here and they will listen.

Like Jeri, I hope and believe this is a temporary rough spot. And next October, this will all be behind you.

SINSULL, in Pollyanna mode.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Cluin
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:34 PM

One door closes; another opens.

I've always found that to be the case, even if it takes a little while for that new door to crack.

Don't give up, girl. Living well (and happily) IS the best revenge.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:29 PM

Marion urged Pauline consider professional help because friends might not be enough. That was an intelligent thing to say, and there wasn't anything negative about it.

I, like Marion, would also suggest that if things got THAT bad, you call the hotline. I hope they don't get that bad.

Listen - I know who you are. You play fiddle and have an occasional uncooperative A-string. You've always made me feel welcome, and I've enjoyed playing music with you. I don't know what to suggest about finding work, but that doesn't sound like the main problem. As long as you have hope and keep trying, there's a possibility of something good happening. It's normal to feel shakey about things right now. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and take it day-by-day. It's the best way to get by when things are uncertain. I hope when I see you at next year's Getaway, you tell me how you had a rough time for a little while, but eventually found a great job with great people.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Leadfingers
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:25 PM

I will go along with El G - It can be surprising what you can find yourself enjoying , when it starts out as a 'Stop Gap' job . In my case , stores work after electronics and a brief sojourn into Pro Music !! Best of luck any way , and keep 'the family' informed .

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: chris nightbird childs
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:22 PM

"GUESTS" don't really know what they're talking about do they. If they did, they wouldn't only be guests...

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:21 PM

Pauline,
If it is any consolation, I am out of work too and know a few others in the same boat. If money isn't a huge problem, enjoy the time off. If it is, time to sit down and figure out how to get through the next month or two.

I am sorry. Experience (my own) tells me that this is not a bad thing and you will find something better. That doesn't help when money is tight and the holidays are around the corner.

Music always help me battle depression. Play some song or artist you love and relax.

I will PM you.

Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:19 PM

Luck will turn, Pauline. What is important now, is not to allow yourself to slip into a negative mindset and to keep plugging. Also, consider your skills and their applicability to different jobs than the ones you have been used to. You might need some help with that, but the results can often suprise pleasantly.

Keep posting, here and in other threads. Keep contact with us. In the absence of others closer to you, most of us would be happy to act as a "family" of sorts.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:10 PM

It isn't just a matter of solving your financial problems or hanging tough. The support of Mudcatters and your real life friends may not be enough either.

I'm sorry, Marion, but how could such a negative message help anyone?

No doubt you mean well, but really...

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: PoppaGator
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:10 PM

Wish I could help. I went through a year of unemployment about ten years back, after risking everything to go into business with a partner.

(I know only too well how much misery loves company, so I'll prattle on about my own bad experience and hope it doesn't bore or depress you too badly. In the end, I've come out of the deal relatively OK, and I hope you can find hope in knowing that.)

We had been doing pretty well, but were still paying off startup expenses when our entire industry -- typesetting -- suddenly became obsolete and we eventually had to declare bankruptcy. Not only did I lose my current job, not to mention my business, but I lost my line of work -- *no* more jobs existed doing what I had been doing for 20+ years.

Unlike you, I wasn't alone in the world -- but having a wife and three young children entailed extra responsibility as well as providing support. I was able, at least, to provide some "off the books" help to my wife in her self-employed work, so I wasn't completely idle and unproductive during the long months of joblessness.

I eventually found a fairly lousy job, and spent about two years bouncing from one unsatisfactory job to another before falling into my current almost-OK situation. I'm still not doing as well as 10-15 years ago, but working life is tolerable, and life in general is good.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Marion
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:01 PM

Hello Pauline. I'm sorry to hear all that has happened to you. Thoughts and prayers from Toronto as well.

Please look for help if you find yourself having suicidal thoughts again - your doctor, or even a telephone hotline. Depression is dangerous, and getting through it isn't just a matter of solving your financial problems or hanging tough. The support of Mudcatters and your real life friends may not be enough either.

With love, Marion

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 05:54 PM

I'm sorry that you've had such a troubled time, and I wish you well.

Do be aware however that sending 'positive energy' over the internet is of no use to anyone. (OK, it makes the sender feel good, but that's about it)

If you'd like some more practical help (i.e. something that works) please give some more details of what you want to do, where you are etc. You might be suprised.

Take care, anyway.

Ed

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 05:53 PM

Pauline:

You can shake it off, suck it up and march ahead in your life. Please do!!

Warm regards,


Amos

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 05:42 PM

Sorry to hear your news Pauline. Positive energy and Big Hugs from London. x

Subject: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Pauline L
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 05:36 PM

I was fired from my job last week. Misfortunes are not new to me. About 3 1/2 years ago I was nearly killed in a car accident. I could not keep up my attendance at work, so I was forced to leave. This happened after working hard -- days, nights, and weekends -- and doing damn good work for 23 years. I was unemployed for 2 1/2 years. During that time, I had some personal tragedies, which I won't talk about here. I was very depressed and very scared. When my money runs out, I have no family or significant other to take care of me. In June of this year, I finally found a job, and I was fired in November, ostensibly because I was once two hours late for work due to a documented medical emergency, but, realistically, because the company is losing the contract I worked on. I was so depressed that I was suicidal.

I am not a regular poster here nor a public personality, and most of you probably don't even know who I am. Nevertheless, I'm asking you for some kind words of compassion and encouragement. Please don't let me down.