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BS: Punny Stuff
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Subject: BS: Punny Stuff From: Big Mick Date: 20 Nov 04 - 09:09 AM I wanted to add these to a thread I started over three years ago, but those threads have been closed. They got too big, I guess. But if you want a good chuckle, READ THIS. I am starting this to continue the goofiness. Two boll weevils grew up in S. Carolina. One took off to Hollywood and became a rich and famous star. The other stayed in Carolina and never amounted to much -- and naturally became known as the lesser of two weevils. Ooooommph. Sorry. I will go back to the corner now. Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Big Mick Date: 20 Nov 04 - 09:13 AM Wait .... before I go.... NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental purposes. They called it the herd shot round the world Now ... where was that corner?.... Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Big Mick Date: 20 Nov 04 - 09:16 AM But ..... just before I go ..... A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in the lobby where they were discussing their recent victories in chess tournaments. The hotel manager came out of his office after an hour and asked them to disperse. He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. I know ... I know ...... Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Chris Green Date: 20 Nov 04 - 09:16 AM A professor was researching Native American marriage customs. He went to see a chief with three wives. Inside the tipi, his first wife was sitting on a fox skin, the second on a wolf skin and the third on a hippopotamus skin. The chief explained that the third wife was the most important and that in his eyes she was worth the other put together. The professor asked why this was so. The chief replied: "Because the squaw on the hippopotamus hide is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides". Boom boom! I thank you! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Big Mick Date: 20 Nov 04 - 09:20 AM Read the threads I linked, DB. That one is in there, plus a bunch more. Good Stuff!!! Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Chris Green Date: 20 Nov 04 - 09:32 AM Not technically a pun, but George Bush is on a state visit to Britain and goes to Buckingham Palace. He says "Liz, I've decided that America isn't going to be a republic anyome, it's going to be a kingdom." She points out that they're not led by a king. He says "Okay, then we'll be a principality". She points out that they're not led by a prince. He says "Okay, so we'll be an Empire". She says "Look George, you not led by an emperor. Why don't you just be a country?" :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Rapparee Date: 20 Nov 04 - 10:30 AM It happened in Israel a few years ago. A peace conference was held, and delegates from the Israelis, the Palestinians, and the Arab world met in Tel Aviv to see if there wasn't some way to peace. And lo and behold, the Bey of Fu En-dii (a small village in the north of southern Saudi Arabia) emerged as a wise and charismatic leader. He managed, strictly by the force of his wisdom and personality, to hold the conference together and forge a chain that would bind peace to the region! Then, the conference took a short break. The Bey, who had been working all night and all day on the conference, walked around the block, savoring the fresh air, trees, and the hope for peace. He spotted a carousel, something that he had never seen before, as Fu en-Dii is not now and wasn't then on the carnival or circus circuit. It so intrigued him that he had his flunkies buy him ride after ride, and when he finally realized that he had to get back to the conference and sign the treaties, he was staggering from going around in circles for over an hour. He staggered into the street, and into the middle of a flock of sheep that were being driven to market. The Bey stumbled over the cobblestones, fell, and was promptly surrounded by the sheep. One of the young sheep sniffed at him, licked him, and then promptly ate him. The shepherd and the late Bey's entourage were appalled. They knew that the peace conference was dead and years of strife would occur. The shepherd, pointing a trembling finger at the middle of his flock, could only echo what everyone thought: "Middle lamb, you've had a dizzy Bey." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Amos Date: 20 Nov 04 - 12:08 PM The two germs lived happily in the artery of a large draft horse on a farm. One decided to seek greener pastures by moving over to the vein. His friend tried to dissuade him, but the spirit of adventure was in him and he set off. He made it across to the vein but, veins being the way they are, found very little to thrive on, and eventually he wasted away for lack of oxygen and such, and died. His friend mourned when he heard the news, "I told him not to switch streams in the middle of a horse!" A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Mrrzy Date: 20 Nov 04 - 06:41 PM Someone once went through a long discourse about my making tea out of koalas and forgetting to remove the hair and gunk that was on the surface, because the koala tea of Mrrzy is not strained. Boy, were they mad when they realized that since I was attending French schools I'd never read any Shakespeare, nor heard that particular quote..! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Georgiansilver Date: 20 Nov 04 - 06:52 PM Al Capone had a brand new pair of leather shoes which cost him $200..which when he was alive was a lot of money. These shoes were left in his bedroom and the bedroom window open!...A cat came in through the open window and started to chew on the lovely smelling and tasting leather...but Al walked in and quickly tried to shoot it as it made it's untimely escape through the window. Al Capone called all his henchmen together and said.."I will give $50 to the man that bings me that cat, dead or alive"....! Ten minutes later, one of his men came in with a moggy that looked similar to the one that Al had seen...He sung to his boss......... "Pardon me Al, is this the cat that chewed your new shoes" Best wishes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Rapparee Date: 20 Nov 04 - 07:23 PM Not mine, but Spider Robinson's. In a galaxy far away scientists discovered a giant stone creature sitting in a jungle. By every test, the creature was not only alive, but quite intelligent. No one could get the least response from it, however. The scientists tried everything they could think of to elicit some response from the creature, and everything failed. Finally, one of the exasperated scientists slapped his forehead with his hand and cried out in frustration, "WHY would Nature make an intelligent, living creature that did not respond in any way to any stimulus?" Surprisingly, no one had ever asked a question in the presence of the creature before, and with a rumble it stood up, drawing itself to its full height, and said in tones like an earthquake, "It wouldn't." "My God!" exclaimed the scientist. "It only stands to reason!. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: freightdawg Date: 20 Nov 04 - 09:30 PM One of my dad's favorites.... It seems there was a minor crime wave going on in the little village where Chan had his lumber mill. Every day he would do a careful inventory, but the next morning some of his most expensive lumber would be missing. The only clue that the constable could discover was a set of little foot prints that came from the forrest and went back into the forrest. Running out of fine wood, the crafty shop owner devised a plan. One night he and the constable did a stakeout hoping to suprise the brazen thief. Sure enough, long about midnight they hear the sound of some lumber being loaded up and hauled off. The constable pounces on the thief in the dark and there is a terrible ruckus, but finally the constable announces that he has subdued the thief. The shop owner turns the light on to discover that the constable has captured a huge bear wearing little boy's shoes. What was the esteemed shop owner's first statement to the bear? "Blessings on thee, little man, boyfoot bear with Teak of Chan" Freightdawg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Rapparee Date: 20 Nov 04 - 10:33 PM There were a terrible series of wrecks on the M-1 motorway around Dublin. Seems like a bear carrying tools fell from a circus lorry and in its confusion would twist the tools and then fling them at the passing cars. According to the Gardi, the wrecks were caused by paw-mangled spanners.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: katlaughing Date: 21 Nov 04 - 12:12 AM this thread seems like old times:-) nice, that |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Rapparee Date: 21 Nov 04 - 12:18 AM Is the spontaneous expulsion of intestinal gas Spaw-fangled manners? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: katlaughing Date: 21 Nov 04 - 12:31 AM I think you mean the spawtaneous etc.? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Peace Date: 21 Nov 04 - 12:33 AM Roman times. A fellow grew gigantic strawberries. He charged admission and folks came from miles around to marvel at them. One eighty-seven pound berry drew accolades from thousands of people. Well, Caesar wanted his tax. The farmer refused to pay tax. Later that night a cohort arrived at the farmer's house and banged on the door. The farmer yelled out that he was closed, and they should come back another day to see the strawberry. The leader of the cohort said, "We have come to sieze your berry, NOT to praise it!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Georgiansilver Date: 21 Nov 04 - 09:27 AM Julius Caesar was reviewing his troops when he suddenly turned to one of the slaves and ordered him to lie down. The slave of course did as he was bid. Julius then sent another slave to fetch a gong which he placed on the lying down slaves chest and begun moving it from side to side. One of the Centurions asked him why he was doing it and he replied in song:- "Oh, I'm sliding a gong on the chest of a slave" Best wishes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Sooz Date: 21 Nov 04 - 11:08 AM A lonely man went to the pet shop to buy a friend and was persuaded to get several hamsters. Unfortunately, they all died within about a week. He returned to the shop to complain and the owner pacified him and eventually convinced to make jam out of the carcasses. He made the jam and it tasted so foul that he threw it out into his back garden and slammed the door. The next morning when he opened to door, his garden was filled with daffodils in full bloom. He dashed back to the pet shop and told the owner who said "Thats funny, you usually get tulips from hamster jam....." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Chris Green Date: 21 Nov 04 - 11:43 AM The agonising decision I have to make whenever I buy a pencil - 2B or not 2B? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Juan P-B Date: 21 Nov 04 - 02:25 PM Our local paper decided to have a pun-writing competition and I sent in ten examples thinking that one of them must surely win but..... No pun in ten did! JuanP-B |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Georgiansilver Date: 21 Nov 04 - 02:34 PM This will probably only appeal to those in the U.K.. so sorry to those over the water. Ken Piers was a miner and good at his job...so as recreation on Friday nights to relax after his weeks work, Ken took his mum to the pub. Whilst in the pub, Ken and his mum always played darts and of course mum being useless at the game meant that Ken had to reach for darts in the ceiling and high on the walls that his mum was too short for. This gave rise to the expression. Miner Ken, He fetches the darts, mother Piers cannot reach. Best wishes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: GUEST,AKgrown Date: 21 Nov 04 - 08:02 PM Here's a couple good ones: A man walks into a bar (pub) with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says "Give me a beer and one for the road". Two termites walk into a bar and ask "Is the bar tender here?" Two cowboys walked into a bar. You think the second one would have seen it and ducked. Written on a billboard next to a road: Illiterate? Write to this address for help. AKswimmer |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Peace Date: 21 Nov 04 - 09:41 PM A fellow had been thrown into the dungeon where he was chained to the wall. He awaited word as to when the King would have him hanged. The King, in a moment or mercy, went to the fellow and said, "If you tell one more pun, ever again, for the rest of your life, you will be hanged immediately!" He replied, "Thank you, my lord. No noose is good noose." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Gedpipes Date: 22 Nov 04 - 07:22 AM I popped into Nellies for an early pint the other day at opening time. No sign of the bar man. I went up to the fag machine to get some tabs. Put me money in but I was surprised when the machine said 'ugly bastard'. I went over to the nut machine and put me money in. Machine also spoke 'you're a canny looking lad' Bar man turned up. I'm hearing voices I said to him. Don't worry man he replied. The cigarette machine is out of order to-day and the nut machine is complementary. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Davetnova Date: 23 Nov 04 - 03:34 AM Guy went intae a bakers in Glesga. Excuse me, hen, is that a cake or a merangue? Naw, yer right enough,son. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Rapparee Date: 23 Nov 04 - 09:38 AM Bill and Bill were two scientists working with the Manhattan Project. Now you may not know this, but the Project explored many different avenues, and Bill and Bill were working on a circular radio wave. No one knew whether or not it might be needed, but it was thought proper to explore every avenue, just in case. Bill and Bill worked frantically in their desert lab, day and night, for two years and made no headway. Finally, one day, Bill yelled "Eureka! I have found it!" and Bill replied, "Twit! That's redundant and repeatitious. What have you found?" "I've been able to diagram the circular radio wave," replied Bill. "Here, take a look!" Bill did so, and his fury mounted. "You BLOODY TWIT! You nincompoop! You incompetent blockhead!" he shouted amiably, "That's merely a naught, an ought, a zero! It's not a diagram of a circular radio wave!" And Bill grabbed the diagram, rolled it up into tube, stuck it into a pencil sharpener and ground it into tiny shreds of paper. Since there was nothing on the sharpener to catch the shards, they landed upon the floor. Suddenly the two scientists were surrounded by a mob of angry janitors complaining loudly about the extra work, the insensitivity of the scientists they worked for, the scientists lack of personal hygiene, and other such matters. Without warning there was an actinic flash of white light, a BANG so loud that it was heard all the way to Moosejaw, and the entire laboratory vanished in blaze of heat and a mushroom-shaped cloud. And that's what you get every time you bring together a critical mass at ground zero. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Bill Hahn//\\ Date: 23 Nov 04 - 07:54 PM SO--interacial strife is ripe in Philadelphia and the Jewish community decides to open a synagogue in the black area of Philadelphia---they name it Beth Yo is Mah Woman. I cannot take credit for this---given to me by a Philadelphian. And let us never forget that the slogan of the NY Times might be---All that news that fits we print. And I add: (not a pun) old man walks into a bar---asks the lady on the stool next to him---do I come here often? BaBoom Bill Hahn |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: beadie Date: 24 Nov 04 - 03:36 PM A very wealthy man is looking to purchase a completely unique pet . . . a pet no one else has, or ever will have . . . a one-of-a-kind pet . . . sui generis. To this end, he walks into a pet store and asks if the proprieter has any such animal. The store owner says, "You are in luck! We have just received a "Rari" from the South American jungles. I will gladly sell it to you for a not-so-modest sum." The gentleman customer says, "A Rari? What is a Rari?" The owner replies," its a smallish furry animal, about the size of a hamster. Its unique in that all it does is eat and cuddle and make a sort of purring sound." The customer says, "OK. I'll take it." And he purchases the Rari. Once at home, the gentleman finds the store owner's word to be accurate. The Rari cuddles and purrs and eats, and eats and purrs and cuddles, and purrs and eats and cuddles, and so on. The Rari never even poops. This, of course, leads to a huge problem. Because it nevers eliminates, it begins to grow, . . . and grow, . . . and GROW. And as it gets bigger, it's appetite increases proportionately. Soon, its eating more than a kennel full of St. Bernards and the very wealthy man is noticing a significant depletion of his pecuniary resources. He has to get rid of the Rari. So, . . . he takes the Rari up to the top of a high cliff overlooking the city. He sets the Rari near the edge of the cliff and places a large rock immediately behind the Rari's butt. He then takes one end of a long pole that he brought with him over the rock and underneath the Rari. Just as the man is getting ready to push down on the free end of the pole, the Rari looks over his shoulder at the man with its great, liquid-brown eyes. Then the Rari looks over the edge of the cliff. Then the Rari looks back at the man and says," . . . . . . That's a long way to tip a Rari." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Bert Date: 24 Nov 04 - 10:49 PM here |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: GUEST,Harmoni Date: 25 Nov 04 - 12:53 AM Two robins are in a tree building a nest. They soon get tired of doing this and, realizing that they're hungry they head on down to the ground, where they proceed to gorge themselves on worms. They eat so much that they can't fly back up to the tree so they decide to just stay on the ground and bask in the sunshine. A cat walks by, sees these two fat robins and promptly gobbles them up. He then sighs contentedly and says: I've always loved eating baskin' robins.... ba-da-boom! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: LadyJean Date: 25 Nov 04 - 01:27 AM I had a cat, who was a bishop, in the Wholey Roaming Catolic Church. He had a Cat-thedral, where he taught kittens their cat a chism, so they would know what to do so as to not be ex comunicat-ed. But now he is interred in the cat a combs. My current feline doesn't have the proper Epusscopal dignity. (And besides he's orange.) Recquies cat in pace. Meow Culpa! Meow Maxima Culpa. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Georgiansilver Date: 25 Nov 04 - 04:31 AM I'm sure it was your cat crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out again. Best wishes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Rapparee Date: 25 Nov 04 - 08:43 PM Some years ago, I was out hunting rabbits with my brother. We hadn't seen any, and after a bit of discussion we decided to go hunt them in the Boogie Woogie Swamp, a place where, as children, we had often played. Almost immediately we found evidence of huge rabbits. Tracks over 18 inches long and sunk three inches into the hard clay and rock of the trail. Plants ripped to shreds by long teeth. Tufts of fur weighing pounds. "I don't know if we should continue this," said my brother. "We're armed and we're both good shots...at least I am," I replied. "Besides, you're chicken." So we continued deeper and deeper into the Swamp. Suddenly, unexpectedly, and without any warning, a gigantic rabbit attacked! He (or she, I couldn't tell) savaged my brother's shotgun, bent it over his or her knee, and broke it in two. It knocked him to the ground and rabbit-punched him. And then it turned on me. It grabbed my bow and flung it far into the quicksand. It turned my quiver upside down and trampled my arrows to pieces. And then, its slavering jaws fastened upon my left hand and I could feel the poison pump from its fangs and enter my body! It let go and hopped off into the Swamp, its horrid work done. My hand was turning blackish-green and red streaks were already thrusting up my fevered limb, and I collapsed on the ground, writhing with agony. Mercifully, I lost consciousness. Sometime later, I awakened. My brother was there, sponging my brow with brackish water from the inky pool nearby. My left arm was buried deep in the ooze of the Swamp. "You're alive," he said. "I was worried. I'd have had to carry you out of here if you'd died and I might have gotten a hernia doing that. Think you can walk?" "I think so," I replied, albeit shakely. I withdrew my left arm, and to my wonder and delight there was no trace, no tiny remnant, to show how I had been ripped open only a short time before! "Wonderful!" I exclaimed. "But...how...?" My brother smiled and said, "You know good and well that there's nothing better for such wounds than than the bog of the hare that bit you." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Georgiansilver Date: 26 Nov 04 - 03:44 AM Mr hare was a randy old sod! He jumped out on and jumped on many a beautiful rabbit until the day the faerie said."Mr Hare if yo do not stop these maligned sexual attacks you will be turned into a goon"!!!! He continued but was caught again by the faerie and given a second and last warning. Now Mr Hare was randy by nature and such as he could not control his sexual urges...so he repeated his sexual acts on unsuspecting rabbits and naturally got caught again. The faerie immediately turned him into a goon. Have you ever wondered where the expression "Hare today, goon tomorrow" came from? Best wishes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Big Mick Date: 20 Dec 04 - 09:54 PM Guy walks into a pet store where Chet, the parakeet that sings Christmas carols, is on display. The owner explains that when you hold a Christmas candle low below one of Chet's feet he sings Jingle Bells, and below the other foot he sings White Christmas. Guy asks what happens when you put it between the feet. Owner is not sure, so they try it. Chet starts singing "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire".... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: GUEST Date: 21 Dec 04 - 09:36 PM YOU good Fellow. You fellow SMART |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: GUEST,Paul Burke Date: 22 Dec 04 - 03:53 AM You are all rank amateurs, mere beginners, greenhorns, tyros, prentices when compared to the Master, Flann O'Brien. Look upon the craftsmanship of his Keats and Chapman stories and be silent. Some Keats and Chapman |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Big Mick Date: 28 Jun 08 - 05:25 PM From my good friend and comrade, Len Wallace in his latest newsletter. Empty mouth and all body cavities before reading!!! Failure to do so could result in the complete destruction of keyboard, screen, and pants/shorts/undies/bloomers, and shoes!!!!My good friend friend and comrade Mike Ferner from Toledo, Ohio sent these puns to me even though he tried worm himself out by shifting the blame to friend Evelyn Palmer. Grit your teeth for some amazing groaners. By the way, Evelyn lives in a town called MOSCOW, Ohio! That’s worth a ponder. The top 10 winners in the International Pun Contest 1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger." 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, 'Dam!' 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, :I've lost my electron." The other says, 'Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive." 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal ? His goal: transcend dental medication. 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But "Why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because,' he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." 7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." 8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars. 9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know , walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is SO BAD, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 10. And, finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. Okay, okay. I will add an eleventh on my own. A young couple travels to a little town in Italy for their honeymoon. One evening, as the sun sets they sit down in a restaurant to eat their meal. Softly, in the distance, they hear voices chanting in unison, “Evening! Evening! E-ve-ning!” This goes on several nights in a row for about 20 minutes each night. Finally, the young man asks the waiter, “Every night around the same time at sunset we hear voices in the distance. What are they?” The waiter tells them, “About a mile away there is an old, old church where the monks gather round when the sun goes down. That’s some monks chanting ‘evening’.” ________________________________________________ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: RangerSteve Date: 28 Jun 08 - 10:16 PM There was a village on an island in the South Pacific where all the huts were made of grass. The king wanted a bigger hut than the rest, so he made his with a second floor. He was also in the habit of confiscating thrones of conquered tribes and storing them on the second floor of his hut. Unfortunately, the thrones weighed too much, and one night while the king was asleep, the thrones crashed through the floor onto the sleeping king, and he was crushed to death. Which goes to show that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: RangerSteve Date: 28 Jun 08 - 10:19 PM The Owens-Corning glass company decided to expand their warehouse, and drained a swamp for the purposes. Some tiny frogs living in the swamp were forced to move. Behind the old warehouse, they found some glass tubes and decided to live in them. One day, some workers packed up the tubes and shipped them across the country. The frogs suffocated and died, showing that peepers who live in glass hoses shouldn't trust Owens. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Ebbie Date: 29 Jun 08 - 01:58 AM During a break at a gig I whispered a question to the mandolin player next to me: What happened to your hand? He stroked his bandage and smiled ruefully. Screw driver, he said. I tapped my guitar. Axe, I said, confidently. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Mrrzy Date: 29 Jun 08 - 11:46 AM I heard that old one as The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides... And there is something about how if you have snakes on your wooden picnic table they can't have babies, because adders can't multiply on log tables... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Punny Stuff From: Mr Red Date: 29 Jun 08 - 03:03 PM One from International Eurosport. MotoGP 250cc race. There are two riders from the Czech Republic racing and the commentators referred to them as "Czech Mates". What amazed me was that they are known for crashing and often in the same race, but the common-tators didn't mention "Bouncing Czechs" or "Czechs and Ballances (or lack of it)" |
