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BS: Feast for the Dead

Raptor 21 Nov 04 - 12:20 PM
wysiwyg 21 Nov 04 - 12:42 PM
GUEST 21 Nov 04 - 01:05 PM
Peace 21 Nov 04 - 01:51 PM
Mudlark 21 Nov 04 - 02:13 PM
open mike 21 Nov 04 - 06:42 PM
AllisonA(Animaterra) 21 Nov 04 - 06:58 PM
CarolC 21 Nov 04 - 08:13 PM
dianavan 21 Nov 04 - 08:27 PM
Bobert 21 Nov 04 - 08:40 PM
Dave the Gnome 22 Nov 04 - 04:00 PM
open mike 22 Nov 04 - 04:35 PM
wysiwyg 27 Nov 04 - 01:37 PM
open mike 29 Oct 09 - 05:06 PM
gnu 29 Oct 09 - 05:57 PM
Desert Dancer 30 Oct 09 - 11:44 AM
meself 30 Oct 09 - 01:53 PM
meself 30 Oct 09 - 01:55 PM
Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 30 Oct 09 - 01:57 PM
meself 30 Oct 09 - 02:14 PM

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Subject: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: Raptor
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 12:20 PM

Next Saturday it will be exactly a year since my wife died.

Two Native friends of mine are putting on a feast for the dead at my house for Heide.

One of them is Mohawk and the other Ojibway.

Have any of you heard of these feasts? I'm not sure what to expect.

Raptor


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 12:42 PM

I think your best preparation would be to NOT know what to expect. I would ask your friends just these questions:

1. Is there anything you'd suggest I do in personal preparation?
2. Is there anything you need me to provide or do so you can proceed?

If you ask these questions with a curious heart and a grateful spirit, I think all you will need to know is that two caring friends have you in good hands.

Is there a way we can participate, here at Mudcat? I know many of us will be thinking of you.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 01:05 PM

Raptor, condolences on your loss. The one year anniversary is usually the toughest to get through.

This is very common practice in native communities, though I haven't heard the term 'feast for the dead' before. Here in the upper midwest, these are simply called 'memorials'. They include a feast, a pow wow, and a give away put on by the family of the deceased. Was your wife a member of a native community, and her family that is putting this on? Putting on a memorial is a complex thing to do.


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: Peace
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 01:51 PM

http://www.i-am-algonquin.com/NewFiles/feast.html

Raptor,

Sorry about your missus, buddy.

I have been to ceremonies in which the dead are remembered and honoured. It means you have some really good friends there. It is indicative that you have their respect and trust. The above will give you an overview, but the ceremony may differ. My best advice is to ask an elder how they do it. Become part of the preparation and you'll flow with it. They are doing this for your wife's spirit and your spirit.

BM


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: Mudlark
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 02:13 PM

Raptor...how fortunate you are to have friends to do this for you. Having lost my husband 3 yrs ago, I think the timing is right...it's often true that first year anniversary is the hardest, though none of them are easy, and this sounds like an excellent way to get through it in a positive way. And, you may be more able to praticipate and appreciate this memorial service now than a year ago. I will be thinking of you...


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: open mike
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 06:42 PM

Blessings on your on your special day....
I have celebrated the Day of the Dead, as is the custom in Mexican culture. It is the day after Halloween...it is customary to provide the favorite food of the deceased and Ofrendas are brought for the spirit of loved ones now gone. The first year is thge hardest, and you have nade it thru this milepost. Treasure your memories.

here are some links from google:

Matching Sites About This
1.
Day of the Dead [New Window]
What do Mexicans celebrate on the "Day of the Dead?". ... Two important things to know about the Mexican Day of the Dead (Día de los Muertos) are: ...
http://www.public.iastate.edu/~rjsalvad/scmfaq/muertos.html
2.
azcentral.com | Day of the Dead - Dia de los Muertos [New Window]
Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) is a three-day Mexican holiday to honor and celebrate loved ones who have died. acentral.com, ...
http://www.azcentral.com/ent/dead/
3.
MEXICO'S DAYS OF THE DEAD - DIA DE LOS MUERTOS - November 1 & 2 ... [New Window]
Mexico's Day of the Dead - Dia de los Muertos - November 1,November 2, Dia de los Agelitos,. DAY OF THE DEAD DÍA DE LOS MUERTOS. ...
http://www.mexconnect.com/mex_/feature/daydeadindex.html
4.
Mexican Tradition - Day of the Dead, All Saints Day - Dia de los ...
The Day of the Dead. ... In Mexico the Day of the Dead is a holiday that tends to be a subject of fascination for visitors from abroad.
http://www.mexconnect.com/mex_/muertos.html [Preview This Site]
5.
Welcome to the Day of the Dead in Mexico Official Web Site
Day of the Dead in Mexico, see the culture and behavior in Mexico.
http://www.dayofthedead.com/
6.
Day of the Dead - 1/03/97 Day of the Dead. ... History. The Day of the Dead, All Souls Day, is an official holiday of the Catholic Calendar.http://www.nacnet.org/assunta/dead.htm
7.
MexOnline.com - Day Of The Dead - El Dia De Los Muertos - Cultural .
Day of the Dead, Día de los Muertos, a festival celebrating the reunion of dead relatives with their families, November 1st and 2nd.
http://www.mexonline.com/daydead.htm
8.
Halloween on the Net - Los Dias De Los Muertos (Days of the Dead)
... Day of the Dead Books, Music, and Videos Holidays on the Net has joined with Amazon.com to offer you and your family books, music CDs, DVDs, videos and more ...
http://www.holidays.net/halloween/muertos.htm
9.

Day of the Dead - a unique fiesta in Mexico [New Window]
Day of the dead How to make your own altar The Day of the Dead. The Dead ... Want some other neat articles about the Day of Dead? Go to ...
http://www.mexweb.com/muertos.htm


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 06:58 PM

Raptor, I'm glad you have a plan for marking the day. I spent the evening of this past Oct. 5 with my dearest friends, who had stayed by my side all the long dark night of my beloved's death and kept watch over me for the several days that followed. I felt I was honoring Byron and honoring them and their friendship as well.

The first anniversary is hard, and I'm finding that to my surprise the weeks following it aren't any easier. Hang in their, my friend. You know where to find me if you need me.

Allison


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: CarolC
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 08:13 PM

I'm not familiar with the ceremony, but I echo the sentiments of those who have said you're lucky to have such friends.


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: dianavan
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 08:27 PM

Raptor - The first anniversary is very difficult. If it is a traditional ceremony, you may be expected to give gifts to those in attendance. They come to feast with you and keep you company and the gifts are tokens of gratitude. Ask them if it is expected.

Enjoy the feast and appreciate the friendship that is being offerred. These people are telling you that they care about you and they want you to know that you are not alone.

d


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 08:40 PM

It sounds like you have some purdy spiritually connected (and caring) friends, Raptor... Take your memories, maybe some pictures, maybe an item of your late wife's, her favorite music and your friends will take care of the rest...

You are so blessed to have these people in your life.

Bobert


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 04:00 PM

Yep - sorry again from me Raptor. Keep an open mind. Where it is full of other things nothing else can enter it. Let your feelings go free. Chaining them will only make them angry. Accept all that is given to you in friendship. It will never make up for your loss but it will help.

Most of all though. Never accept advice given for free....

Cheers

Dave


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: open mike
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 04:35 PM

i hope you are feeling well enough by then to fully participate in this.
heart felt wishes to you.


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Nov 04 - 01:37 PM

We're thinking of you, David.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: open mike
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 05:06 PM

although this thread was originally for a specific feast,
there is information of a general nature regarding the
Day of the Dead and feasts that occur annually around
halloween, dia de los muertos, All soul's day, etc.

here are a few more links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_the_Dead

http://www.azcentral.com/ent/dead/

http://mexicanfood.about.com/od/history/a/dayofthedead.htm

my daughter's mother-in-law recently returned to Guam
to celebrate/commemorate the one year anniversary of
her mother's passing, which i understand is a usual
event in that culture.


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: gnu
Date: 29 Oct 09 - 05:57 PM

Peace and solace to you. Which is the meaning of those who share your loss in this rite and share their care for you and yours. I have attended. It will be okay. No worries.

Thoughts and prayers.


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 11:44 AM

gnu and others - note that this is a thread refreshed 5 years later (not to dismiss your kind sentiments)...


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: meself
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 01:53 PM

In my own experience with Ojibway and other Native people, a "feast", even on an occasion with spiritual overtones, can be simply a big dinner or banquet, without any ceremony or ritual unfamiliar to the rest of us. You should, of course, be ready to make a little speech thanking everyone for coming, cooking, putting on the event, lending the chairs, etc. It would also be appropriate to say some words about your late wife. Native people, generally speaking, are quite familiar with loss and pain, and (contrary to the stereotype) emotional expression. If you weep, no one will think less of you. On the other hand, if you simply make a few stock, gracious remarks, that will be perfectly acceptable as well.

I don't think there will be much more to it than that - just a little friendly dinner to mark the occasion. Maybe someone will make a prayer. If there is a ceremony, it will commence with the burning of sweetgrass (in a clam shell, or some manner of ashtray), and you will be invited to go through the purification ritual of bending over the sweetgrass and scooping the smoke over your head. Nothing tricky to that, just do it as you see the others do - but if you choose not to do it at all, no one will be offended.

I once participated in a ceremony in which an Ojibway friend honoured and spoke to her ancestors - an integral part of this was giving a portion of the feast to the ancestors; this was done by filling a plate as you would for any guest, and then putting it into the fire. If you have a fire, by the way, bear in mind that in this context it is a spiritual entity, and is to be treated with appropriate respect. Don't be the first one to start throwing garbage into it .... !

If your friends bring an elder or elders - such as their parents - make a point of welcoming them to your home, and honouring them generally.

Listen to what your friends say to you - they are unlikely to tell you what to do, but they will give you hints if there is something that they would like you to do.

Finally, if you do feel that you have somehow offended someone, find some way to give them a gift or do something (in an obvious way) for them later on - they will understand it as an apology, and all will be forgiven.


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: meself
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 01:55 PM

Oh - and now I'm told that the thread is five years old .... jeesh ...


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 01:57 PM

Still an interesting post meself :)


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Subject: RE: BS: Feast for the Dead
From: meself
Date: 30 Oct 09 - 02:14 PM

Thanks - that's so much!


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