Lyr Req: A Visit from Whitebeard

Subject: A Visit from Old Whitebeard
From: Haruo
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 01:48 AM

The Northwest Seaport Chantey Sing this coming Friday evening's announcement says it will feature "Cap'n Matt's rendition of "A Visit from Old Whitebeard," a hilarious pirate version of "The Night Before Christmas". Anyone know this piece? Is it sung or just declaimed?

Haruo

Subject: Lyr Add: A VISIT FROM WHITEBEARD
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 02:15 AM

Found the words for it from HERE and a mention of it coming from the Mudcat, but apparently not as I couldn't find it, either. The following is all from the above link:


Myriah Wyndsong
Can you grasp the Wynd?
Posts: 543
(15/12/01 2:49 pm)
Reply
        "A Visit From Whitebeard" Anonymous Author
I cannot take credit for this peice.....but I just HAD to list it all the same! Being the Pyrate that I am, it tickled my funny bone to end. If you know me very well, then you know that I am partial to pirate related stuff and put in many long hours at renaissance faires portraying a pirate. This poem was sent to me by my friend Robert, and I am guessing it was sent to him by one of his friends, who apparently found it on the Mudcat Cafe website, but then later could not find it there. So, we do not know who to give the credit to, as we have no proof to speak of, so for now, it shall remain anonymous and shared with you knowing that about it.I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, even if you are "aren't" a Pyrate! :)

A Visit From Whitebeard

'Twas the night 'afore Christmas, and down below decks
All the prisoners was sleepin' with chains 'round their necks.
A mutineer was hung from the yardarm with care
so's all o' the others was sure to beware.
The crew was all nestled below in their bunks:
they slept just like babies, but smelled just like skunks!

The mate with his cutlass, and me with me gun
had just settled in for a long drink o' rum,
when over the decks there arose such a clamor,
I reached for me pistol, and pulled back the hammer.
Away to the porthole I flew in a wink,
I opened it wide, and I threw up me drink.

The moon to the west was the probable source
of the naggin' suspicion that we was off course,
when what to me matey's one eye should appear
but eight flyin' goats and an old buccaneer!
I went for me spyglass when first they appeared
and I knew in a minute it must be WHITEBEARD!

More rapid than seagulls they flew toward me quarters
and he lashed them, and cursed them, and barked out these orders:
"Now, Long Jack! Now, Silver! Now Dutchman and Flint!
On Barnacle, and Bluster! On Cable, and Quint!
To the top o' the mains'l, to the top o' the mast!
Now cast off that line! No, not that one! OH, BLAST!"

As I pulled in me head and went back in the gloom
down onto the deck Whitebeard hit with a BOOM!
He was blackened with powder burns, head down to boot,
and we hid 'neath me bunk as he searched for the loot.
A rusty old cutlass that hung by his side
made me feel very glad we'd decided to hide.

His eye, how it festered! His features, how salty!
He tripped and he fell, 'cause his vision was faulty.
His ratty white hair was tied back with a scarf,
and the beard on his chin was so white you could barf.
The stump of his knee was held up by a a peg,
and how well I remember......'twas I took his leg!

He had a long, jagged scar, and a stomach gigantic
that rolled when he walked like the northern Atlantic.
He was ugly and fat, a right scurvy old elf
so I stayed where I was and threw up on myself.
For the look in his eye and the tilt of his head
soon gave me to know that we soon might be dead.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to the hold
and he stole all the silver, and bagged up the gold,
and locking the treasure up inside a chest
went back up the rigging into the crow's nest.
He boarded his craft, to his team gave a yell,
and away they all flew just like bats out of Hell!

But I heard him proclaim, like a ghost from afar,
"I'll be back again next year....be ready! Har, harrrr!"

(Anonymous Author)

Subject: RE: A Visit from Old Whitebeard
From: Haruo
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 08:47 PM

Thanks, kat. The recitation was indeed highly amusing. He didn't sing it, but of course any tune that works for Santa will work for Whitebeard.

Haruo

Subject: RE: A Visit from Old Whitebeard
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 09:27 PM

Hey MMario-- since you missed doing this one for us (how did THAT happen), I guess Greg will have to give it a run!

Lord help us all, I think it's an offertory! May do it myself!

~S~

Subject: RE: A Visit from Old Whitebeard
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 09:30 PM

You're welcome, Haruo. I'll bet it was a lot of fun.

Subject: RE: A Visit from Old Whitebeard
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 16 Dec 04 - 08:30 AM

I posted that poem three years ago, and gave credit to the author (Cap'n Clark Cable). Also in that thread is a link to his web site where he is offering for sale a chapbook of his poems.

Subject: RE: A Visit from Old Whitebeard
From: open mike
Date: 16 Dec 04 - 03:12 PM

ahh-so it is pirate speak, is it? i thought it said a visit from old white bread..

Subject: RE: A Visit from Old Whitebeard
From: Haruo
Date: 16 Dec 04 - 11:52 PM

Thanks, Jim! For whatever reason a Mudcat Search didn't turn it up (for me or Kat). As I recall Capt. Matt did credit Clark Cable at the Chantey Sing.

Haruo

Subject: RE: A Visit from Old Whitebeard
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 04 - 01:35 AM

Sort of "spoiled it" for those who are going - eh kat?

What do you have against the performances - this is the third time you have "tipped out hand." In other words - BUTT-OUT!

Subject: RE: A Visit from Old Whitebeard
From: Haruo
Date: 17 Dec 04 - 07:50 PM

Didn't spoil it for me, GUEST.

Haruo