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Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?

Rowan 08 Jul 09 - 07:20 PM
GUEST,guest 08 Jul 09 - 11:29 AM
Bryn Pugh 06 May 09 - 06:15 AM
GUEST,Edthefolkie 05 May 09 - 10:01 PM
GUEST,Ron 05 May 09 - 09:44 PM
Valmai Goodyear 14 Mar 09 - 09:09 AM
bseed(charleskratz) 14 Mar 09 - 03:39 AM
GUEST,dennis malone 14 Mar 09 - 01:46 AM
Charley Noble 10 Jan 09 - 05:01 PM
GUEST,Major Matt Mason 10 Jan 09 - 11:22 AM
Charley Noble 11 Dec 04 - 10:17 AM
dick greenhaus 11 Dec 04 - 10:06 AM
Nigel Parsons 10 Dec 04 - 10:36 AM
Charley Noble 10 Dec 04 - 09:57 AM
Steve Parkes 10 Dec 04 - 09:20 AM
Snuffy 10 Dec 04 - 08:50 AM
Lighter 09 Dec 04 - 10:24 PM
Leadfingers 09 Dec 04 - 10:15 PM
The Walrus 09 Dec 04 - 09:44 PM
GUEST,Tony 09 Dec 04 - 09:36 PM
Mark Ross 09 Dec 04 - 09:20 PM
Emma B 09 Dec 04 - 07:22 PM
Rabbi-Sol 09 Dec 04 - 06:20 PM
GUEST,Hootenanny 09 Dec 04 - 05:39 PM
Georgiansilver 09 Dec 04 - 02:43 PM
Mark Ross 09 Dec 04 - 01:59 PM
John M. 09 Dec 04 - 12:59 PM
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: Rowan
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 07:20 PM

And in this cage, ladies and gentlemen, we have the triangular arsehole bird.
A most peculiar bird, it eats only sand and can shit only every few millennia.
The first times it produced the pyramids, and most recently,
it produced the YMCA.

[the symbol for the YMCA was (in the early 60s) a triangle and, in Melbourne, the building was triangular in plan]
Also from the same era and location;

And, in this cage, ladies and gentlemen, we have the cryptic churchmouse.
Very discreet, it crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out again.

Cheers, Rowan


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 11:29 AM

learned it my local pub

fu fu bird

now ladies and gentlemen this bird soars 2000 feet in the sky

and swoops down to within 2inches of ground and the way back up he goes
" Fu Fu Fu-ck that was close"
.....................................................................


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 06 May 09 - 06:15 AM

Another aside re the WinkiWanki Bird :

This species is rapidly becoming extinct because small boys throw sand in its eyes - but it dies with a smile on its face.

Ernie - turn the fuckin' crank !


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Edthefolkie
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:01 PM

Chorus sung, animals spoken in a loud voice like a fairground barker.

Learned some of it while in the Combined Cadet Force of a supposedly respectable UK public day school. We used to sing it on the bus on the way back from a wooded area where we rushed about like Dad's Army or that of Fred Karno. Obviously a hangover from HM Forces, National Service backwards to WWII and WW1.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Ron
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:44 PM

And in this corner, ladies and gentlemen, we have Lydia the Tattooed Lady!

Lydia the tattooed lady? Who the hell is Lydia the Tattooed Lady?

Lydia the Tattooed Lady has a W tattooed on one cheek, and a W tattooed on the other... and when she does somersaults all you see is

WOW MOM WOW MOM WOW MOM...


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Valmai Goodyear
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 09:09 AM

I learned this song in the sixth-form common room and added to it on Bonfire outmeeting coaches with the Cliffe Bonfire Society, Lewes, Sussex, UK.

An aside usually added to the verse about the Winky-Wanky Bird:

'For Gawd's sake, Madam don't throw sand in its eyes!'

Valmai (Lewes)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 03:39 AM

I learned this song in 1961 from a young woman who was working at Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood in Oregon--in the Blue Ox Bar in the basement of the hotel (which played the Overlook Hotel in "The Shining," with Jack Nicholson.

As I learned it, the Oooh-aaah bird weighed one pound but laid a two pound egg, and there's a verse about the Kiki bird which stole butter from Swiss families, spread it over a slope high in the Alps, flew up to the top of the butter patch and sat down and as it slid down the slope cried out: Ki-ki-ki-ki-rist, what a sensation!

Then, there was the rhinosaurus (pronounced rhino-sore ass) whose name broke down to rhino, meaning armor plated, and sore ass, which means piles in any language.

The version of the leopard (pronounced lee=oh=pard) verse I learned was much like that posted by Walrus, but in my version it was a little boy who during the tour kept pulling on the elephant's tail until the verse ended, "Keeper, would you please hose off that little boy?"

Another animal featured in the wild west show was the male alligator, "our very most important animal" because each year the female alligator swam upstream to lay a thousand eggs and following her was the male who ate nine hindred and ninety-nine of the eggs; so you see without the male alligator, our most important animal, we'd be up to our asses in alligators.

I added a verse about the bodini bird which took off from the Amazon jungle in great flocks and flew single file in ever decreasing circles at ever increasing speed until each bird flew his head up the arse of the bird ahead of him, and at this time all gave out their beautiful mating call, "I = = CAN'T - - SEE = = FOR - - SHIT!"

Charles


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,dennis malone
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 01:46 AM

when I played club rugby at Iowa in 71-72 the verse I remember was

In this corner ladies and gentlemen (as if there were any ladies present)

we have the fantastic and amazing KIWI bird

this is the only bird in the whole wide world that actually

eats roots, shoots and leaves!

We are off to see the wild west show!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 05:01 PM

MMM-

No doubt your "tigron" verse is directly related to the "crocogator" verse that I posted above, but which came first?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: GUEST,Major Matt Mason
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 11:22 AM

Learned this one from my Da thirty years ago here in the States. He always sang it with a Cockney accent.

And now we have the Oo-Ah Bird!
(Audience: The Oo-Ah Bird! Fan-TASTIC!)
The Oo-Ah Bird lays square eggs with sharp corners, and can be recognized by his distinctive cry... "OOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHH!"

Another local variant was the Ki-Ki bird insted of Kerii bird (Ki-ki-ki-RIST, it's cold around here!)

And of course, the tigron, which, similar to the crocagator, is the meanest creature alive, with the head of a tiger at one end and a lion at the other...
(Audience: 'Ow's 'ee defecate?)
What's that?
(OW'S 'EE DEFECATE?!)
He don't! That's why he's so mean!

-MMM-


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Dec 04 - 10:17 AM

Dick-

Fugawi mapping software, wonderful!

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 11 Dec 04 - 10:06 AM

Just to point out that tradition continues, there's a software company that sells a nice mapping/charting/navigation program. Company name? Fugawi.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 10:36 AM

And in this cage we have the rocky mountain goat,
Which lives high in the mountains, and leaps from rock to rock.
As he leaps he farts.
What scientists can't tell us is whether the fart makes him leap,
Or the leap makes him fart!

And in this cage we have the elephant, "Don't go near that cage madam!"
The elephant drinks ten gallons of liquid a day, "Don't go near that cage madam!"
The elephant eats a ton of food each day, "Don't go near that cage madam!"
And the elephant shits.... "Too late madam, Joe, dig her out!"

Cheers

Nigel


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 09:57 AM

I first heard this from our old family friend Dennis Puleston, originally from the UK but resident in Long Island, NY for many a year.

He was always careful to refer to the Pygmy tribe as the "Fegawees" so as not to tip off the audience.

I'm not sure if he was the source of the "crocogator" verse we used to sing, or whether we dreamed it up ourselves but it went something like this:

"And over in this corner, ladies and gentlemen, is the crocogator"

"Oh, ah!"

"This fearsome beast has the head of a crocodile at one end and the head of a alligator at the other."

"Oh, ah! (pause) But how does he eliminate?"

"He can't! That's what makes him so fierce!"

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 09:20 AM

The pygmy verse works particularly well in the West Midlands, where "where" is pronounced "weer". In polite circles they are known as the Ellawi tribe.

The leopard, according to my little bro, goes:
... the spotted leo-pard [3 syllables] has one spot for every day of the year. What's that, madam? Leap years? George, lift the leo-pardpard's tail and show the lady the 29th of February!

Steve


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Snuffy
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 08:50 AM

I learned it back in the 60's as the Umiguli bird, rather than the OO OO AA AA bird

The pygmies were the Fukawi tribe who shouted "We're the Fukawi"

And it's the Orang Utan, not the orangutan bird. It is really a large ape and is found in the mountains of Borneo rather than Africa

Chorus was almost the same:
We're off to see the wild west show
The elephant and the kangaroo-oo-oo-oo
Never mind the weather
As long as we're together
We're off to see the wild west show.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Lighter
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 10:24 PM

Known in the British Army in World War One. See "The Long Trail," by John Brophy (1965).


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 10:15 PM

This is one of those songs that ONLY works with Audience participation - IF you can get the 'people' to add their own verses . not only is it a lot less strain on the voice , you can pick up some
extra verses with a bit of luck !


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: The Walrus
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:44 PM

I recall some bits along the lines:
(as a recitation, different people taking different 'verses')

Ladies and Gentleman, over here we have
The spotted leopard

This big cat has 365 spots
One for every day of the year.
What about leap years you ask?
George, lift his tail.

Now we have the Laughing hyena
This creature drinks ones a day
eats once a week and never f**ks
What he's got to laugh about, Gawd knows

Now we have the camel,
This curious creature eats mud
Shits bricks
And has a triangular arsehole
Hence the Pyramids

Here we have the Wild Man of Borneo
This poor fellow has no cock
"How does he F**k Guv'ner"?
"He can't, that's why he's so wild.

The 'end of the show' was usually signalled by the group 'Leader'
(or some member, having got bored by the whole performance) announcing

"And now will all you small childre please get into the boat, the Elephant is about to piss".

Walrus


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Tony
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:36 PM

Learned long ago from boat club and rugby club associates.

And in this tank ladies and gentlemen we have the Shark
The Shark is the most voracious feeder in the seas,
It eats seals, fish and the occasional passing swimmer
What was that lady? Does it swaller yer 'ole?
Nah, it spits it out when it comes to it.

And in this cage we have the Ozzle-Woozle bird
These birds fly in a single line with the largest bird in front followed by the next largest and so on down to the smallest at the rear
At the first sign of danger, the smallest bird flies up the behind of the bird in front and so on up the line
The single remaining bird then flies round and round in every decreasing circles until it disappears up its own fundamental orifice, from which advantageous position it proceeds to shower shit and derision in all direction.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Mark Ross
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:20 PM

Yes, Sol, she still doew. An dy the way, GUT YONTIFF!

Mark Ross


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Emma B
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 07:22 PM

Not since school "charabanc" trips - but brings back memories........


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Rabbi-Sol
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 06:20 PM

I learned this song from Bob Rodriguez who did it at the South Street Seaport 32 years ago during an X Seaman's Institute concert.

By the way, Mark mentioned Paula Ballan. She also booked the concerts for the Nassau Community College Folk Festival which takes place every April. I don't know if she still does. SOL ZELLER


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: GUEST,Hootenanny
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:39 PM

Used sing this at school and into my teens. From the printed verses above you appear to have omitted the Pie Bird, the one with the triangular arse hole that flies across the desert shitting pyramids.

If memory serves me right the introduction started with a recittation something like;

Roll up ladies, roll up gents
See the greatest show in tents
See the leopard's 100 spots
99 on his back and one on his...

Cock your eyes over here folks etc etc, can't remember the rest


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 02:43 PM

I used to sing it with the lads on the rugby coach:-
"In this cage ladies and gentlemen we have the red pepper bird!"
"The red pepper bird! What the ......g hell is that?"
"The red pepper bird..eats red pepper..drinks red pepper..and flies backwards to keep it's a... cool.
Best wishes.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it?
From: Mark Ross
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 01:59 PM

I used to sing this 30 years ago back East, I think I learned it from Paula Ballan, who used to book the Philly Folk Fest. Fun song, but I haven't had much of a call to sing it lately.

Mark Ross


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE WILD WEST SHOW
From: John M.
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 12:59 PM

Hello everyone,

Here is the  "The Wild West Show" which needs to be added digital tradition database.

Does anybody sing this song?   If so when/where did you learn it and would you be willing to sing it for a folklorist?  If yes, please feel free to email me at john@mehlberg.com

Any help is appreciated.

Sincerely,

John Mehlberg
~
My, mostly traditional, bawdy songs, toasts and recitations website: www.immortalia.com
~

THE WILD WEST SHOW

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the OO OO AA AA bird.

(Crowd:) OOOH fantastic incredible, what the
hell is an OO OO AA AA bird?

The OO OO AA AA bird is a rare and exotic
bird found in the deserts of Australia. It
has three foot legs and four foot testicles,
and every time it lands, it goes OO OO AA AA.

Chorus:

We are off to see the wild west show
With the elephants and the kangaroos
No matter what the weather
As long as we're together
We're off to see the wild west show.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the giraffe
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is a giraffe

The giraffe from the Savannas of Africa is
the only animal that can walk into a bar
and say, "The high-balls are on me."

Chorus.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the wherethefuckarewe tribe
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is a wherethefuckarewe tribe

This is a tribe of four foot Pygmies found in
deepest darkest Africa that walks through
five foot high grass shouting: "Where the fuck are we?
Where the fuck are we?"

Chorus.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the orangutan bird
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is an orangutan bird

The orangutan bird is found in the mountains
of Africa. It's left ball is made of steel
and it's right ball is made of copper. Every
time it lands, it goes oran-gu-tan,
oran-gu-tan.

Chorus.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the rhinoceros
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is a rhinoceros

The rhinoceros is reputed to be the richest
animal in the world. It's name is derived
from the Latin - rhino meaning money and
soreass meaning piles. Hence - piles of
money.

Chorus.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the kerii bird
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is a kerii bird

The kerrii bird lives north of the Arctic
Circle. Every time it comes in to land on the
ice it says, "Kerii kerii ker-ist it's cold."

Chorus.

(Leader:) Ladies and Gentleman, in the far ring we have
the winky wank bird
(Crowd:) OOOH, fantastic, incredible, what the
hell is a winky wank bird

By some strange evolutionary occurrence, the
nervous system of this bird's eyelids is
connected to its foreskin. Every time it
winks, it wanks and every time it wanks, it
winks.
Notes:  This song is actually a cante-fable with only the chorus sung.  It is also known under the title "The Hamburg Show" and "Larry Turn the Crank".    The earliest printed text can be found in Immortalia [1927] pgs.153-154 under the title "Hamburg Show". The text above is from the National Engineering Book of Song & Verse (not dated (ca 1969), no publisher, no author, no location (probably Montreal, Canada)). 

Here are a list of recorded versions of the "Wild West Show" starting with the single field recording:

  • Field Recording - John Mehlberg Collection.


Commercial recordings:

.


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