Subject: Lyr Add: THE WILD WEST SHOW From: John M. Date: 09 Dec 04 - 12:59 PM Hello everyone, Does anybody sing this song? If so when/where did you learn it and would you be willing to sing it for a folklorist? If yes, please feel free to email me at john@mehlberg.com THE WILD WEST SHOWNotes: This song is actually a cante-fable with only the chorus sung. It is also known under the title "The Hamburg Show" and "Larry Turn the Crank". The earliest printed text can be found in Immortalia [1927] pgs.153-154 under the title "Hamburg Show". The text above is from the National Engineering Book of Song & Verse (not dated (ca 1969), no publisher, no author, no location (probably Montreal, Canada)). Here are a list of recorded versions of the "Wild West Show" starting with the single field recording:
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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Mark Ross Date: 09 Dec 04 - 01:59 PM I used to sing this 30 years ago back East, I think I learned it from Paula Ballan, who used to book the Philly Folk Fest. Fun song, but I haven't had much of a call to sing it lately. Mark Ross |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Georgiansilver Date: 09 Dec 04 - 02:43 PM I used to sing it with the lads on the rugby coach:- "In this cage ladies and gentlemen we have the red pepper bird!" "The red pepper bird! What the ......g hell is that?" "The red pepper bird..eats red pepper..drinks red pepper..and flies backwards to keep it's a... cool. Best wishes. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,Hootenanny Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:39 PM Used sing this at school and into my teens. From the printed verses above you appear to have omitted the Pie Bird, the one with the triangular arse hole that flies across the desert shitting pyramids. If memory serves me right the introduction started with a recittation something like; Roll up ladies, roll up gents See the greatest show in tents See the leopard's 100 spots 99 on his back and one on his... Cock your eyes over here folks etc etc, can't remember the rest |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Rabbi-Sol Date: 09 Dec 04 - 06:20 PM I learned this song from Bob Rodriguez who did it at the South Street Seaport 32 years ago during an X Seaman's Institute concert. By the way, Mark mentioned Paula Ballan. She also booked the concerts for the Nassau Community College Folk Festival which takes place every April. I don't know if she still does. SOL ZELLER |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Emma B Date: 09 Dec 04 - 07:22 PM Not since school "charabanc" trips - but brings back memories........ |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Mark Ross Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:20 PM Yes, Sol, she still doew. An dy the way, GUT YONTIFF! Mark Ross |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,Tony Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:36 PM Learned long ago from boat club and rugby club associates. And in this tank ladies and gentlemen we have the Shark The Shark is the most voracious feeder in the seas, It eats seals, fish and the occasional passing swimmer What was that lady? Does it swaller yer 'ole? Nah, it spits it out when it comes to it. And in this cage we have the Ozzle-Woozle bird These birds fly in a single line with the largest bird in front followed by the next largest and so on down to the smallest at the rear At the first sign of danger, the smallest bird flies up the behind of the bird in front and so on up the line The single remaining bird then flies round and round in every decreasing circles until it disappears up its own fundamental orifice, from which advantageous position it proceeds to shower shit and derision in all direction. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: The Walrus Date: 09 Dec 04 - 09:44 PM I recall some bits along the lines: (as a recitation, different people taking different 'verses') Ladies and Gentleman, over here we have The spotted leopard This big cat has 365 spots One for every day of the year. What about leap years you ask? George, lift his tail. Now we have the Laughing hyena This creature drinks ones a day eats once a week and never f**ks What he's got to laugh about, Gawd knows Now we have the camel, This curious creature eats mud Shits bricks And has a triangular arsehole Hence the Pyramids Here we have the Wild Man of Borneo This poor fellow has no cock "How does he F**k Guv'ner"? "He can't, that's why he's so wild. The 'end of the show' was usually signalled by the group 'Leader' (or some member, having got bored by the whole performance) announcing "And now will all you small childre please get into the boat, the Elephant is about to piss". Walrus |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Leadfingers Date: 09 Dec 04 - 10:15 PM This is one of those songs that ONLY works with Audience participation - IF you can get the 'people' to add their own verses . not only is it a lot less strain on the voice , you can pick up some extra verses with a bit of luck ! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Lighter Date: 09 Dec 04 - 10:24 PM Known in the British Army in World War One. See "The Long Trail," by John Brophy (1965). |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Snuffy Date: 10 Dec 04 - 08:50 AM I learned it back in the 60's as the Umiguli bird, rather than the OO OO AA AA bird The pygmies were the Fukawi tribe who shouted "We're the Fukawi" And it's the Orang Utan, not the orangutan bird. It is really a large ape and is found in the mountains of Borneo rather than Africa Chorus was almost the same: We're off to see the wild west show The elephant and the kangaroo-oo-oo-oo Never mind the weather As long as we're together We're off to see the wild west show. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Steve Parkes Date: 10 Dec 04 - 09:20 AM The pygmy verse works particularly well in the West Midlands, where "where" is pronounced "weer". In polite circles they are known as the Ellawi tribe. The leopard, according to my little bro, goes: ... the spotted leo-pard [3 syllables] has one spot for every day of the year. What's that, madam? Leap years? George, lift the leo-pardpard's tail and show the lady the 29th of February! Steve |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it From: Charley Noble Date: 10 Dec 04 - 09:57 AM I first heard this from our old family friend Dennis Puleston, originally from the UK but resident in Long Island, NY for many a year. He was always careful to refer to the Pygmy tribe as the "Fegawees" so as not to tip off the audience. I'm not sure if he was the source of the "crocogator" verse we used to sing, or whether we dreamed it up ourselves but it went something like this: "And over in this corner, ladies and gentlemen, is the crocogator" "Oh, ah!" "This fearsome beast has the head of a crocodile at one end and the head of a alligator at the other." "Oh, ah! (pause) But how does he eliminate?" "He can't! That's what makes him so fierce!" Cheerily, Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Nigel Parsons Date: 10 Dec 04 - 10:36 AM And in this cage we have the rocky mountain goat, Which lives high in the mountains, and leaps from rock to rock. As he leaps he farts. What scientists can't tell us is whether the fart makes him leap, Or the leap makes him fart! And in this cage we have the elephant, "Don't go near that cage madam!" The elephant drinks ten gallons of liquid a day, "Don't go near that cage madam!" The elephant eats a ton of food each day, "Don't go near that cage madam!" And the elephant shits.... "Too late madam, Joe, dig her out!" Cheers Nigel |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it From: dick greenhaus Date: 11 Dec 04 - 10:06 AM Just to point out that tradition continues, there's a software company that sells a nice mapping/charting/navigation program. Company name? Fugawi. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it From: Charley Noble Date: 11 Dec 04 - 10:17 AM Dick- Fugawi mapping software, wonderful! Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it From: GUEST,Major Matt Mason Date: 10 Jan 09 - 11:22 AM Learned this one from my Da thirty years ago here in the States. He always sang it with a Cockney accent. And now we have the Oo-Ah Bird! (Audience: The Oo-Ah Bird! Fan-TASTIC!) The Oo-Ah Bird lays square eggs with sharp corners, and can be recognized by his distinctive cry... "OOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHH!" Another local variant was the Ki-Ki bird insted of Kerii bird (Ki-ki-ki-RIST, it's cold around here!) And of course, the tigron, which, similar to the crocagator, is the meanest creature alive, with the head of a tiger at one end and a lion at the other... (Audience: 'Ow's 'ee defecate?) What's that? (OW'S 'EE DEFECATE?!) He don't! That's why he's so mean! -MMM- |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it From: Charley Noble Date: 10 Jan 09 - 05:01 PM MMM- No doubt your "tigron" verse is directly related to the "crocogator" verse that I posted above, but which came first? Cheerily, Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,dennis malone Date: 14 Mar 09 - 01:46 AM when I played club rugby at Iowa in 71-72 the verse I remember was In this corner ladies and gentlemen (as if there were any ladies present) we have the fantastic and amazing KIWI bird this is the only bird in the whole wide world that actually eats roots, shoots and leaves! We are off to see the wild west show! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it From: bseed(charleskratz) Date: 14 Mar 09 - 03:39 AM I learned this song in 1961 from a young woman who was working at Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood in Oregon--in the Blue Ox Bar in the basement of the hotel (which played the Overlook Hotel in "The Shining," with Jack Nicholson. As I learned it, the Oooh-aaah bird weighed one pound but laid a two pound egg, and there's a verse about the Kiki bird which stole butter from Swiss families, spread it over a slope high in the Alps, flew up to the top of the butter patch and sat down and as it slid down the slope cried out: Ki-ki-ki-ki-rist, what a sensation! Then, there was the rhinosaurus (pronounced rhino-sore ass) whose name broke down to rhino, meaning armor plated, and sore ass, which means piles in any language. The version of the leopard (pronounced lee=oh=pard) verse I learned was much like that posted by Walrus, but in my version it was a little boy who during the tour kept pulling on the elephant's tail until the verse ended, "Keeper, would you please hose off that little boy?" Another animal featured in the wild west show was the male alligator, "our very most important animal" because each year the female alligator swam upstream to lay a thousand eggs and following her was the male who ate nine hindred and ninety-nine of the eggs; so you see without the male alligator, our most important animal, we'd be up to our asses in alligators. I added a verse about the bodini bird which took off from the Amazon jungle in great flocks and flew single file in ever decreasing circles at ever increasing speed until each bird flew his head up the arse of the bird ahead of him, and at this time all gave out their beautiful mating call, "I = = CAN'T - - SEE = = FOR - - SHIT!" Charles |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Valmai Goodyear Date: 14 Mar 09 - 09:09 AM I learned this song in the sixth-form common room and added to it on Bonfire outmeeting coaches with the Cliffe Bonfire Society, Lewes, Sussex, UK. An aside usually added to the verse about the Winky-Wanky Bird: 'For Gawd's sake, Madam don't throw sand in its eyes!' Valmai (Lewes) |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,Ron Date: 05 May 09 - 09:44 PM And in this corner, ladies and gentlemen, we have Lydia the Tattooed Lady! Lydia the tattooed lady? Who the hell is Lydia the Tattooed Lady? Lydia the Tattooed Lady has a W tattooed on one cheek, and a W tattooed on the other... and when she does somersaults all you see is WOW MOM WOW MOM WOW MOM... |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,Edthefolkie Date: 05 May 09 - 10:01 PM Chorus sung, animals spoken in a loud voice like a fairground barker. Learned some of it while in the Combined Cadet Force of a supposedly respectable UK public day school. We used to sing it on the bus on the way back from a wooded area where we rushed about like Dad's Army or that of Fred Karno. Obviously a hangover from HM Forces, National Service backwards to WWII and WW1. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Bryn Pugh Date: 06 May 09 - 06:15 AM Another aside re the WinkiWanki Bird : This species is rapidly becoming extinct because small boys throw sand in its eyes - but it dies with a smile on its face. Ernie - turn the fuckin' crank ! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,guest Date: 08 Jul 09 - 11:29 AM learned it my local pub fu fu bird now ladies and gentlemen this bird soars 2000 feet in the sky and swoops down to within 2inches of ground and the way back up he goes " Fu Fu Fu-ck that was close" ..................................................................... |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it From: Rowan Date: 08 Jul 09 - 07:20 PM And in this cage, ladies and gentlemen, we have the triangular arsehole bird. A most peculiar bird, it eats only sand and can shit only every few millennia. The first times it produced the pyramids, and most recently, it produced the YMCA. [the symbol for the YMCA was (in the early 60s) a triangle and, in Melbourne, the building was triangular in plan] Also from the same era and location; And, in this cage, ladies and gentlemen, we have the cryptic churchmouse. Very discreet, it crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out again. Cheers, Rowan |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it From: GUEST,steve Date: 02 Sep 09 - 02:21 AM I learned this song from Trevor Jones in Avalon on Catalina Island in 1976 were I met Natalie Woods and Robert Wagner who frequented the bar where Trevor played. I don't sing it much but on occasion....when I have the right crowd. Trevor was Welsh I believe and knew more songs than a person has a right to recall. The verse (with a fine welsh-slightly brit but different- accent): In the next cage sports fans we have this most amazing creature known as a bengal tiger fantastic, unbelievable, no shit what the hell's a bengal tiger well the bengal tiger is one of God's most amazing creatures it is an 800 pound pussy that eats you! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Nigel Parsons Date: 02 Sep 09 - 04:18 AM That Bengal tiger sounds a little like the cat encountered in S.America. A man was walking through the Amazonian forest with his guide when a massive cat ran from the undergrowth and bit off his pride & joy. When the man woke up in hospital & asked what the cat was he was told it was a "two-litre jaguar" |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST Date: 16 Sep 09 - 01:53 PM And in this corner we have the Kudu The Kudu? The only animal to have brass balls and as it runs you hear the sound ku du ku du |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: sing4peace Date: 17 Sep 09 - 12:59 PM Thanks for reviving this thread. I read through every one and laughed all the way. It brought me back to happy memories of my dad (Jody Gibson "Cranky Yankee") singing this at the old "Black Pearl" tavern in Newport, Rhode Island when he was playing with Roger Sprung and Kevin Fennessey. This song would go on and on and on and the audience would join in to the point where the parrot (Shipwreck) would get all excited and start to sing too. Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Joyce |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST Date: 06 Jul 10 - 07:50 AM Seems one has been missed... Ladies and Gentlemen! Here we have the Ostrich! The Ostrich ? Yes the Ostrich! This amazing bird Ladies and Gentlemen can not only not fly, but it lays eggs so large that every time it lays one its Ass stretches! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST Date: 09 Jul 10 - 11:51 AM in this corner we have the Zbra its the only creature in the whole wide world that is 26 sizes bigger than a A bra. In this corner we have a porcupine a very strang creature indead it is the only creature with a 1000 pricks and no Ms. Jones He is not for sale. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it From: Charley Noble Date: 09 Jul 10 - 10:31 PM Amazing! Keep 'em coming. Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it From: Charley Noble Date: 09 Jul 10 - 10:37 PM Having reviewed the amazing posts above I'm reminded: "That if the Fu shits, wear it!." But that was another story. Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,Earthling Date: 30 Dec 10 - 06:46 AM I learned this song back in 50s England as an army cadet and having read this most interesting thread, allow me to add the Ooslum Bird (sic): - The Oozlum bird? Yes madam, the Oozlum Bird. This bird flies round in ever decreasing circles Eventually disappearing, in a cloud shit and feathers up it's own arsehole. - Then there's polar bear hunting: - The hunter digs a hole in the ice Carefully places a line of dried peas around the edge of the hole and when the polar bear comes up for a pea He kicks him in the ice hole. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 30 Dec 10 - 07:03 AM My first boyfriend taught me this in Edinburgh in 1968. I thought he was wonderful, but he had to explain several of the verses. He always sang the chorus, and narrated the verses in a pseudo-American accent. He also taught me a thing about a man who had "large balls, twice as heavy as lead" who apparently, "with a singular twist of his muscular wrist, he threw them over his head " (tarara boom etc.) Does anyone know that one? I was only seventeen and completely innocent and naive. I smile now, I was horrified and fascinated in equal measure! He is now Professor of Epidemiology in Scotland, I don't suppose he sings this song any more!! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Trapper Date: 30 Dec 10 - 11:38 AM Learned it as a camp counselor, sung by the staff after the kiddies went to bed. - Al |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Leadfingers Date: 30 Dec 10 - 12:03 PM Earthling - Variation on the Ooozlum Bird! In the next cage we have the Whirly Twirly bird . a most innoffensive creature , who's sole defence when pursued by one of its many predators is to fly round and round in ever decreasing circles til it vanishes with a pop and a puff of blue smoke up its own rectal orifice from which safe abode it hurls abuse and excretia at its pursuer |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,Dennis Date: 06 May 11 - 10:38 PM The 1085th Medevac, Rapid City, South Dakota, sang this as their company theme song with slightly different lyrics. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,Lighter Date: 07 May 11 - 08:59 AM Dennis, could you post those lyrics? And when you sang them? |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: threelegsoman Date: 07 May 11 - 12:31 PM As a young man at college, I used to sing this song on coach trips returning from hockey matches. I recognize most of the verses in the same form or slight variations in the threads above. A couple of the verses I sang were: In the next cage ladies and gentlemen is the F-f-f-fuffer-mouse. Fan-tastic, in-credible, im-possible, what the f*cking hell is that? This animile ladies and gentlemen lives in the Say-har-ay desert where it travels in groups in Indian file. The last one in the line disappears up the arse-hole of the one before until there is only one left who says, "Where the f-f-f-f*cking hell do we go from here? The Camel This animile also lives in the Say-har-ay desert where it can go for weeks without drinking water, living entirely on sand. Hence the pyramids! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: ScottishVoice Date: 07 May 11 - 04:38 PM I have a friend who sings this but off the top of my head the only verse I can remember is the "oocha-magoolie" bird. Same as the OO OO AA bird. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST Date: 15 May 11 - 07:48 PM I learned what I still consider one of the cleverest verses at the knee of my older cousin, an FP of George Heriot's Edinburgh, wham ne'er a school surpasses for bawdy songs and their bit verses. Any part of its phraseology that may not be quite English as she is ought to be spoke, does however reflect the way things are expressed in Scotia's genteel capital. (Alba gu bràth!) and in the next cage l and g we have the POLAR BEAR! The POLAR BEAR? Charles fucking Darwin! What the hell is that? The polar bear, l and g, lives on an iceberg near the North Pole. On one side of the iceberg there is a Frenchman who keeps a private school and on the the side of the iceberg there is an Italian who keeps a private school. And all day long the polar bear skites back and forth on its arse between them keeping its privates cool. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,honey badger Date: 08 Jun 11 - 08:49 AM Here we've got a hornbill? A Hornbill? Don't be silly man, my name's Joe! The mountain goat... The mountain goat? Yes, the mountain goat etc. etc. .. is an animal that jumps from precipice to precipice... just to press another piss! The goldfish... The goldfish? etc. etc. .. is a creature that mucks around in a fountain! The mountain goat... etc. etc. .. is an animal that *ucks around in a mountain! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,CTBurke Date: 03 Sep 11 - 01:55 PM I sang this song in the early 1970's with the Phi (Kappa) Psi fraternity at UCLA around the dinner table or at rallies. In the 80's I was a Park Ranger on Angel Island when a "spirit group" came off the boat singing it. I motioned to the leader to let me have a verse, and he did. I did the "Oh-no bird"—the testicles-hanging-lower-than-its-legs, etc. Here I was in full uniform, in public, and making a fool of myself, but loving it. Later still, I made a large model airplane for a historical display, and made the "nose art" a large, black "Oh-no bird" of my own illustration, with inscription. I don't know if anyone ever "got it" that it was from the Wild West Show song. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,Amy Date: 15 Sep 11 - 03:47 AM My dad has sung this song for as long as I can remember at our family dinners. It is definately a family tradition and one I would love to carry on with when I have a family of my own. He sung pretty much the same version above with slight variations. I love that you guys have this thread going! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: GUEST,I-S Date: 10 Nov 11 - 07:11 PM I remember singing this at school in Cupar, Fife. Everything was narrated in a fake American showman's accent and each verse had a punchline. E.g. In this cage we have the leo-le-PARD, so called because it has 365 spots, one for each day of the year. No madam that's not a leap year, that's its hole! After the winky wanky it was - no madam, stop throwing sand in its eyes! In the version I learned it was the upitsownanus bird. It flew in every decreasing circles until the ineveitable happened. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Bert Date: 11 Nov 11 - 04:56 PM I learned it a The Wild Beast Show which makes a little more sense. |
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: 'The Wild West Show'. Do you sing it? From: Charley Noble Date: 11 Nov 11 - 05:39 PM Making sense has never been a strong suit for those who sing this song. And over in this corner, ladies and gentlemen, is Ringmaster Rick Perry (applause) Who just stepped in a huge pile of foo-shit (applause) "Rick, how many rings are in your circus?" "That's a tough question. There's one, two, and ..........." (applause) Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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