Lyr Req: You're the Pits! (parody You're the Top)

Subject: Lyr Req: You're the pits!
From: fogie
Date: 11 Dec 04 - 05:06 AM

Can anyone remember this parody on you're the tops, which I remember being sung some 15yrs ago or so in the beach hut at Sid.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You're the pits!
From: masato sakurai
Date: 11 Dec 04 - 05:17 AM

From here.

SONG: 'YOU'RE THE TOPS'

First verse as written by Cole Porter and sung by a sycophantic Hayrick.
Verse two sung by Blackviper:

You're the pits,
Black hole of Calcutta.
You're the pits,
Way down in the gutter.
You're like a bad toothache
From eating cold ice-cream,
You're a dose of measles,
Face like a weasel's,
You're a scary dream.

Verse three as written by Cole Porter and sung by a sycophantic Hayrick
Verse four sung by Blackviper:

You're the pits,
You're an upset tummy.
You're the pits,
You're the cursed mummy.
You're like a lack of sleep,
A refuse heap with flies,
You're dressed in rummage,
Look like Wurzel Gummidge,
You're a pack of lies.

Last verse is Cole Porter's verse two repeated, but this time sung by both. Hayrick sings: ' You're the tops', and Blackviper sings: 'I'm the tops'.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You're the pits!
From: fogie
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 06:32 AM

Thanks Masato youre the tops!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You're the Pits! (parody You're the Top)
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 10:54 PM

Someone else has a record with that on it. Baritone - mostly an actor who plays Detectives often. This seems a little more updated.

You're the pits,
You're an airline dinner,
You're the pits - you're a Gong Show winner
You're the grating sound of Madonna screeching high "C",
You're a case of Shingles
Those chips by Pringles,
You're Joe Namath's KNEES --

Don't remember the rest. He did a one man show off Broadway.

Joni

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You're the Pits! (parody You're the Top)
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 11:16 PM

OK I found out who recorded my above "version" so you can get the entire thing, if you want it. I reconstructed that in the car going home from NY. It's pretty close. Forget the rest.

James Naughton has it on one of his CD's. Don't know the title of it.
It's great!
Joni

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You're the Pits! (parody You're the Top)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Nov 11 - 04:37 PM

From The Spectator, Volume 256 (1986), page 44:

You're the pits, you're a baby-snatcher,
You're the twits who elected Thatcher,
You've got all the charm of a broken arm for me,
You're a soggy salad, a Manilow ballad, you're VAT,
You're the pits, you're the Pope's erection,
You're the pits, you are vivisection,
I'm an awful mess whose songs are less than hits,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the pits. ...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You're the Pits! (parody You're the Top)
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jun 13 - 09:56 AM

You give me the running Shits cuz you're the pits