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BS: Great phrases you know and use.

wysiwyg 20 Feb 05 - 09:45 PM
Don(Wyziwyg)T 20 Feb 05 - 06:13 AM
sixtieschick 20 Feb 05 - 01:14 AM
John O'L 19 Feb 05 - 10:39 PM
Peace 19 Feb 05 - 03:39 PM
GUEST,Layah 31 Jan 05 - 04:14 PM
Uncle_DaveO 31 Jan 05 - 10:40 AM
Liz the Squeak 30 Jan 05 - 04:05 PM
Bunnahabhain 30 Jan 05 - 03:00 PM
GUEST 27 Jan 05 - 11:18 AM
GUEST,Jim Dixon 27 Jan 05 - 08:11 AM
GUEST,Com Seangan 26 Jan 05 - 03:54 PM
Teresa 26 Jan 05 - 12:09 AM
Little Hawk 25 Jan 05 - 11:29 PM
Donuel 25 Jan 05 - 09:57 PM
Chris Green 24 Jan 05 - 06:52 PM
Cluin 24 Jan 05 - 02:39 PM
Cluin 24 Jan 05 - 02:30 PM
Crystal 24 Jan 05 - 05:06 AM
ranger1 23 Jan 05 - 05:21 PM
Peace 23 Jan 05 - 04:54 PM
GUEST 23 Jan 05 - 04:52 PM
*Laura* 23 Jan 05 - 08:25 AM
GUEST 22 Jan 05 - 06:30 PM
*Laura* 22 Jan 05 - 01:00 PM
Dewey 22 Jan 05 - 02:49 AM
Dewey 22 Jan 05 - 02:39 AM
Dewey 22 Jan 05 - 01:12 AM
Teresa 21 Jan 05 - 10:19 PM
ranger1 21 Jan 05 - 09:38 PM
Bunnahabhain 21 Jan 05 - 07:36 PM
ev 23 Dec 04 - 10:31 PM
Bunnahabhain 22 Dec 04 - 06:54 AM
Flash Company 22 Dec 04 - 05:53 AM
GUEST,Crystal (sans biscuit!) 22 Dec 04 - 05:15 AM
Peace 21 Dec 04 - 10:03 AM
Bunnahabhain 21 Dec 04 - 09:57 AM
Bunnahabhain 21 Dec 04 - 09:56 AM
Peace 21 Dec 04 - 06:31 AM
HuwG 21 Dec 04 - 06:13 AM
kindaloupehackenweez 21 Dec 04 - 06:01 AM
Rustic Rebel 21 Dec 04 - 02:26 AM
Peace 20 Dec 04 - 02:57 PM
GUEST,Snoozer at work 20 Dec 04 - 02:43 PM
Midchuck 20 Dec 04 - 11:30 AM
kendall 19 Dec 04 - 02:00 PM
kindaloupehackenweez 19 Dec 04 - 08:18 AM
ev 19 Dec 04 - 01:52 AM
Peace 18 Dec 04 - 08:34 PM
kindaloupehackenweez 18 Dec 04 - 01:50 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Feb 05 - 09:45 PM

Cream of the crock.

Crap circles.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 20 Feb 05 - 06:13 AM

A woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, is setting her sights too high.

Your boss may be mistaken, but he is NEVER wrong.

It should be possible to find an honest politician, if you visit enough graveyards.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: sixtieschick
Date: 20 Feb 05 - 01:14 AM

A Yiddish one:

You can't piss on my back and call it rain!


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: John O'L
Date: 19 Feb 05 - 10:39 PM

No flies on me. (When you've done or said something uncharacteristically clever)

I said that to my mother once and quick as a flash she said "No, but I can see where they've been."


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Peace
Date: 19 Feb 05 - 03:39 PM

I WILL be DIPPED IN sh#t.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 04:14 PM

Don't sweat petty things and don't pet sweaty things.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:40 AM

Never count your chickens crossing the road until they've burned their bridges!

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 04:05 PM

Heard a good one on TV last night, in 'The Rock'... 'How in the name of Zeus's butthole did you get out of your cell?'

I've got the perfect person to use it on.. just have to find the perfect moment....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 03:00 PM

I've got vogons in my stomach....


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 11:18 AM

...better than forty lashes with a wet noodle


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 08:11 AM

In any unpleasant situation: "Well, it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick." Or "Well, it's better than playing with a knife and cutting yourself."

Once my wife and I, while stuck in an unpleasant place, amused ourselves by thinking of things it was better than. Soon we were laughing.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST,Com Seangan
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 03:54 PM

The tail or "earball" addded oin to the proverbs in OIrish are very witty. One comes to mind from County Waterford: "Cabhair gach aon rud - mar aduirt an dreoilin nuair a dhen se a mhuinin sa bhfarraige"

"Every little helps - as the wren said when he did his little pee-pee into the sea"


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Teresa
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 12:09 AM

Visualize whirled peas.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 11:29 PM

"__________ is rubbish!" - jOhn from Hull

It's a very useful phrase for launching silly threads about practically nothing...


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 09:57 PM

Great phrases by Mark Twain

"When in doubt, tell the truth.

It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right.

A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.

He was as shy as a newspaper is when referring to its own merits.

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

It is your human environment that makes climate.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it -- and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again -- and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more.

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow. Yet it was the schoolboy who said "Faith is believing what you know ain't so."

The timid man yearns for full value and asks a tenth. The bold man strikes for double and compromises on par.

We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.

Truth is stranger than fiction -- to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

There is a Moral Sense, and there is an Immoral Sense. History shows us that the Moral Sense enables us to perceive morality and how to avoid it, and that the Immoral Sense enables us to perceive immorality and how to enjoy it.

It is easier to stay out than get out.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.

"Classic." A book which people praise and don't read.

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happinesses to the unhappy.

Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession, what there is of it.

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.

Nature makes the locust with an appetite for crops; man would have made him with an appetite for sand.

The spirit of wrath -- not the words -- is the sin; and the spirit of wrath is cursing. We begin to swear before we can talk.

The man with a new idea is a Crank until the idea succeeds.

Let us not be too particular. It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.

The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.

There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.

Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.

To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean.

There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Each person is born to one possession which outvalues all his others -- his last breath.

Hunger is the handmaid of genius.

The old saw says, "Let a sleeping dog lie." Right. Still, when there is much at stake it is better to get a newspaper to do it.

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.

If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?

Simple rules for saving money: To save half, when you are fired by an eager impulse to contribute to a charity, wait, and count forty. To save three-quarters, count sixty. To save it all, count sixty-five.

Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

He had had much experience of physicians, and said "the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not."

Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.

Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.

There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.

She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.

Make it a point to do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live.

Often, the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.

Satan (impatiently) to New Comer. The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.

There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined ones.

The principal difference between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives.

When your watch gets out of order you have choice of two things to do: throw it in the fire or take it to the watch-tinker. The former is the quickest.

In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities.

Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

First catch your Boer, then kick him.

None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try.

The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

There isn't a Parallel of Latitude but thinks it would have been the Equator if it had its rights.

I have traveled more than any one else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent."




..................



click

The price of gas
went up two pints
over the usual one pint
of blood per gallon.

Without speed pass
I have to make 2 round trips
to pay first and get my change.
What is the price of gas in Mecca?

Usama's Mercedes dies of thirst
from a blown radiator hose.
click...We need to attack Iraq
the bald oilman crows.

The 3rd Reich's mythology
blamed the jews and intelligensia.
The supermen are to be praised
but no archeological proof could be raised.

Out back the grass is overgrown
I step on something that yells
"I am buzz light year"
"To infinity and beyond" were his last words.

New myths are spun on CNN
that few dare call a lie.
As if it depends on what you believe
to make nonsense fly.

Some guy from Indiana said
"after 9-11 I can see NYC
has humans
much like our own".

Government by religion
is quick to kill.
Even our region
has prayers of ill will.

The war fever in Atlanta
is cooled by another
Mariah Carey clone
winning the American Idol.

King to prince
father to son
cleric to God
"an old war has begun".

I have to leave it all behind
for the kids bed time story.
Maybe something from Dr. Seuss...
Old war, wild war, cold war, bio war...

I think God could use some advice.
He needs answers too.
I'm sure you'll grant he has free will
giving his experiments multiple outcomes.

If all you get are questions
and requests
you're bound to get
pissed off too.

I wish the kids would sleep
perchance to dream
meanwhile the small print
on MSNBC is a scream.

Now whats on
the Histrionic channel?
The Germans fall in line
behind a liar.

click

I get by with a little help
from Depends.
At least the dumbmercials
are getting better.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Chris Green
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 06:52 PM

My Dad always used to fart explosively and shout "Share that amongst yer!" We stopped inviting the priest around after that...


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Cluin
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 02:39 PM

"Don't tear `er! I'll take the whole yard!"

(one my uncle used to say when he heard an audible fart)


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Cluin
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 02:30 PM

That's "rodent's rectum", ranger1.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Crystal
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 05:06 AM

One I was reminded of on the phone last night (in response to a good idea); "Good thinking Bat-being!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: ranger1
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 05:21 PM

Frankly, I don't give a rat's ass.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Peace
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 04:54 PM

Do unto others as they would do unto you--but do it first.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 04:52 PM

A few good ones, thanks to Victoria Wood:

Miss Tweed, fetch me my writting mittons, I have letters of import to write, and they can not wait for warmer waether.

A daily Diet of parsnips may leave one agog for a tomarto.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: *Laura*
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 08:25 AM

Saucier than a Direct Hit on a Heinz Factory!


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Jan 05 - 06:30 PM

Meanwhile, back at the ranch house, Jock and Snowy were wondering,

and

Where the river bends, the blindman falls in.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: *Laura*
Date: 22 Jan 05 - 01:00 PM

*I wanted to go out and change the world but I couldn't find a babysitter*

the best one of course, relevant in so many situations, and so theraputic to yell - "Bloody Hell!"
(but so often overlooked - hence so many rich shrinks)


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Dewey
Date: 22 Jan 05 - 02:49 AM

We shall meet life better if we have fulfilled the present to the best of our ability.

Unknown Author

Posted by Dewey


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Dewey
Date: 22 Jan 05 - 02:39 AM

I especially love the educated derelicts phrase: education manifests itself merely as a wasted, un-directed, ego-driven past-time in such a foolishly and rightly "educated" person.

Paraphrasing the former President Cooledge: Education is a worthy, working ethic of applying faith with one's knowledge to obtain a fruitful endeavor and labor of love for self-growth and/or group productivity. It is thus directed for the benefit of all mankind towards necessary productive ends, not towards the express issues alotted to entertainment and time wasting.

Dewey


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Dewey
Date: 22 Jan 05 - 01:12 AM

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistance.
Talent will not, nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not, unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not, the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistance and Determination alone are Omnipotent!

Calvin Cooledge

posted by Dewey


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Teresa
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 10:19 PM

If it ain't one thing, it's two.--A friend of mine

Sounds like a terd of hurdles!--my dad and granddad, said of a houseful of kids

That makes too much sense.--something another friend says when someone solves a problem he can't figure out.

I feel as if I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.--anonymous

On the other hand ... there are different fingers.--anonymous

When someone says "Hold on", say, "But what am I holding onto?"--unknown

When teaching a student to type, , I blurted out in exasperation: "Slow down; you'll get there faster."

"What do you care what other people think?" Richard Feynman's first wife (to him. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: ranger1
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 09:38 PM

Well, it seemed like the thing to do at the time. (anytime I do something really stupid and get caught)

Would you like some cheese to go with that whine?

Go rotate. (said to annoying people who you want to leave you alone)

Go take a long walk off a short pier. (see above parentheses)


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 07:36 PM

Round and round in random circles....

In response to where are we going type questions


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: ev
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 10:31 PM

yep -- but i prefer the technical term for whomping a piece of technology:

"percussive maintenance".


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 06:54 AM

Dont bother with tech support, just give a carefully calibrated kick!


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Flash Company
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 05:53 AM

Returning from our Christmas round of cemetaries the other day, about 50 people piled into our already packed train at Knutsford station. I was reminded of another of my old Gran's sayings:-

It's the Isrealites and the Jebusites and half the tribe of Mannasah!

FC


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST,Crystal (sans biscuit!)
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 05:15 AM

In theory no, in practice... well... maybe!


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Peace
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 10:03 AM

Where ya gonna get five guys in a hurry?

I got friends on the inside and some are getting out real soon.

If all is not lost, where is it then?


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 09:57 AM

Blamed! But a balm is a dangerous animal, and you don't want it to happpen to you either.....


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 09:56 AM

And a few more...

Of course I'm not mad, I'm a folk dancer.

The other left!

You'll thank me later.

If you're not going to get balmed for it, why are you worrying?


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Peace
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 06:31 AM

We have met the enemy and he is us. (Too famous to require attribution. But, thanks, Mr Kelly.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: HuwG
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 06:13 AM

A couple of other work-related saws (with apologies to Dilbert, C. Northcote Parkinson and others):


"Think ! or thwim !" [1]
"I have features. You have bugs. His/hers crashes."
"You want it yesterday ? OK, go back to two days ago and ask for it."[2]



From (UK comedian) Jack Dee:

Q. Does this hat go with this dress ?
A. Yes. They're both horrible.



[1]. Legend has it that IBM posted their notorious, "THINK !" message all over their HQ, including above the sinks in their toilets (washrooms). The next day, little stickers which read, "THOAP !" appeared above the soap dispensers.

[2]. I wish I had said that, once. It might have got me fired. As it turned out I was unfairly dismissed two months later for having failed to provide it yesterday. I would have saved myself several weeks stress.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 06:01 AM

Thanks for the compliment Brucie>,(made comment in Mother of BS) so wont repeat it here. (FYI)/// I put some quotes in the wrong thread.

And was ready to shut this off, when one more, i just came up with the other night after signing off.    It goes:

"How can we be complete if we're not a little bit of everything?"

Backed up with a: "Put that in your pipe and smoke it"

"going with the flow" ("Out of here"). ("later dude's and dudette's")

Kindaloupehackenweez...PEACE..(They're getting shorter),(spelling?)
(using a dictornary)????(Cheating)?????(spell it like it sounds)(NO)


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 02:26 AM

Don't judge a book by it's way too cool euphemism.

okay, that may not be one I know and use but it could be one I'll use in the future.
Kinda loca-amotive sneezeer and wackin on a piece of licorice weezina wanting- That would be everythings gonna be alright.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Peace
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 02:57 PM

kindaloupe--you are very welcome. You are also crazy as hell. Thanks for your thanks and thanks for thanks in the post above.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST,Snoozer at work
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 02:43 PM

We'll jump off that bridge when we get to it!


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Midchuck
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 11:30 AM

Brucie: Re "The Weight," I've been hearing that song for years and always thought the lyrics made no sense, but everyone was so fond of it that I thought it was something wrong with me. Thanks for confirming that I was right all along. Maybe it's just my failure to use enough recreational drugs over the years.

Ev: You confirm my thesis, that all human wisdom can be found in The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, by Heinlein. But you missed a few good ones:

It is better to copulate than never.

Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect.

Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate -- and quickly.

Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

In a mature society, "civil servant" is semantically equal to "civil master."

God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent -- it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash and in small bills.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you.


And the ultimate truth:

Never try to outstubborn a cat.

Peter.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: kendall
Date: 19 Dec 04 - 02:00 PM

On changing one's mind:

And enterprises of great pith and moment become sicklied over with the pale cast of thought, and lose the name of action.


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 19 Dec 04 - 08:18 AM

Thank You So very much "Brucie". You should have see the expreshion
on my face after scrolling down and noticed what you have done for me.
I didnt see the exspression myself, but felt some immediant change of face as i damn near flipped over backwards in my chair...WAY TO COOL is the first thing that came to mind. 2nd was Thank you. 3rd was you saved me at least 3 days. 4th was UNPHUCKINGBELIEVEABLE...Oh geeee...shit....(just got over a totally numb staring at the monitor moment that lasted at least 30 seconds).

I KNEW this was my favorite thread..And i still know it....Many thanks
oh man. (Heres one)..

"One good turn, deserves another"????

Your one cool Cat. "No if, and, buts and joints about it"??

Yesterday i recorded that song back to back on a 90 minute tape and the cassette player played that song forever and its still playing,

"Gotta Go", "CHECK IT OUT" BLESS YOU, THANK YOU SO VERY VERY VERY MUCH.    later..kindaloupehackeweez..."FAR OUT" "SOLID" and "RIGHT ON"

"TOO COOL" THANK YOU BRUCIE....You made this cats day. MAN..
"BLOWN AWAY"


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: ev
Date: 19 Dec 04 - 01:52 AM

I collect phrases. some I use -- some are just internalized.

When I want your opinion, I'll read your entrails.

Do I look like a people person?

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

You! Off my planet!

Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Let me show you how the guards used to do it.

And just how may I screw you over today?

And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."

Better living through denial.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

Adult child of alien invaders.

Do they ever shut up on your planet?

I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?

Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

Back off! You're standing in my aura.

I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!

Adults are just kids who owe money.

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.

I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?

Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong.

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

Too may freaks, not enough circuses.

Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.

Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

You look like shit. Is that the style now?

Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.

Earth is full. Go home.

Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?

I plead contemporary insanity.

And which dwarf are you?

I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.

Meandering to a different drummer.

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?



In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
Friedrich Nietzsche

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
Hubert H. Humphrey

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

Being intelligent is not a felony, but most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor.
and
You live and learn. Or you don't live long.
and
Money is the sincerest of all flattery. Women love to be flattered. So do men.
and
Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.
and
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors -- and miss.
LAZARUS LONG. by Robert Anson Heinlein

Be careful about reading health books. You might die of a misprint.
Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens)

The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
Benjamin Franklin

To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.
W. S. Gilbert

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Ambrose Bierce

I feel there is an angel in me whom I am constantly shocking.
Jean Cocteau

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny . . .
Isaac Asimov

Adding to one's body of knowledge is ultimately what matters, the better to voice your own imagination.
Chris Dixon

awwww, did Daddy take your T-Bird away?

so many words, but one of my all time favorites is a Yiddish saying,

You can't grow corn on the ceiling.

later,
ev.

No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, however some electrons were terribly inconvenienced


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Peace
Date: 18 Dec 04 - 08:34 PM

by J.R.Robertson. Album: Music from Big Pink
© 1968, 1970 Dwarf Music

For an analysis of the lyrics, and more, see Peter Viney's article on "The Weight".
Bass tablature also available.

A               C#m          D                      A
I pulled into Nazareth, was feelin' about half past dead;
                C#m       D            A
I just need some place where I can lay my head.
                      C#m             D                A
"Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?"
                   C#m                D                      A
He just grinned and shook my hand, and "No!", was all he said.


(Chorus:)
A       E       D    A       E       D
Take a load off Fanny, take a load for free;
A       E       D                                                       A D
Take a load off Fanny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

A E D A D

I picked up my bag, I went lookin' for a place to hide;
When I saw Carmen and the Devil walkin' side by side.
I said, "Hey, Carmen, come on, let's go downtown."
She said, "I gotta go, but m'friend can stick around."

(Chorus)

Go down, Miss Moses, there's nothin' you can say
It's just ol' Luke, and Luke's waitin' on the Judgement Day.
"Well, Luke, my friend, what about young Anna Lee?"
He said, "Do me a favor, son, woncha stay an' keep Anna Lee company?"

(Chorus)

Crazy Chester followed me, and he caught me in the fog.
He said, "I will fix your rack, if you'll take Jack, my dog."
I said, "Wait a minute, Chester, you know I'm a peaceful man."
He said, "That's okay, boy, won't you feed him when you can."

(Chorus)

Catch a cannon ball now, t'take me down the line
My bag is sinkin' low and I do believe it's time.
To get back to Miss Fanny, you know she's the only one.
Who sent me here with her regards for everyone.

(Chorus)


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Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 18 Dec 04 - 01:50 PM

"Lets make a Deal"
For i just started a 2 week vacation from my 5-6 days a week 12 hours a day job thats been like that for 2 months and im making it my first priority to learn an old song i've always loved. Actually my first priority was 3 weeks of laundry 5 weeks of dishes and wipe down the floor which i wont even mention the time frame since thats been done last. Anyway the song i just finished listening to back to back for an hour and a half is by the "Band" Title of the song is "The Weight"

4th verse 3rd line Cant make out the words i think i know what he means or does say but it sounds totally "Not sappose ta be there"

Crazy Chester followed me and he caught me in the fog.
He said i'd-a-picture-it (apprecate it) if you take jack my dog.

I Said wait a minute Chester no ?????????? to feed the man.

I "think" its No money to feed the man"    But sounds so "Not like that" peaceful is a word that seems to come out. anyway i'm stumped

In return Here is my most Favorite and least favorite phrase i know

"We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we find in our travels is an honest friend" Robert Louis Stevenson. (My all time favorite as once was a buckskinner and attendant Rendevous. Pre 1840 American History. My thing, and will get a photo in buckskins and warshirt i made for such events)

My Least favorite from about the same time period:

"Killing the buffalo was the only way to bring lasting peace and allow civilization to advance" General Philip Sheridan.,1873

Your words of the missing words would be greatly appreacated. and help me move along to the other 2 songs i just gotta learn before these next two weeks are up..I hate agendas. this to do,.I like keeping my issues resolved for it leaves time and space for furture thoughts and plans. Thank you for your time and space.   Peace.


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