BS: Great phrases you know and use.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 10:14 AM

"I need ________ about as much as a pig needs a bra."

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 10:26 AM

About as much use as tits on fish.

About as much use as a chocolate fireguard.

About as much use as a hole in the head.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 11:08 AM

The more things change, the more they get different---me

The older I get, the better I was.----me

Rosebud----Kane (whenever valued things are lost)


(art thieme)

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST,Vic at work
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 12:16 PM

From a collection that appeared in The Spectator (I think)

An owl in a sack troubles no man. - this is my all time favourite catchall, meaningless response.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 12:20 PM

Absolutely nothing is foolproof. Fools are too ingenious.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 12:22 PM

'A little pain never hurt anybody.'

In an argument: 'I've already said more than I know.'

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: *Laura*
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 01:10 PM

Come the f*ck on (Bridget) (insert name)

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Midchuck
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 01:56 PM

Uglier than Death takin' a shit.

Crazier than a shithouse rat.

That woman was so tall she could stand flat-footed and piss in the radiator of a Chevy pickup. (from H. Allen Smith, R. I. P. - you have to be old enough to remember cars and trucks with radiator caps on the outside of the hoods to understand it)

Infinite metaphors for mental defect and/or derangement:

Two cans shy of a six-pack...

Dumber than a sackfull of hammers...

P.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: chris nightbird childs
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 02:05 PM

Keep wailin'

Let yr spirit burn, and they'll still smell the smoke when yr gone

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: fat B****rd
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 02:42 PM

Lawd, I done died and gone to Heaven

Must be jelly 'cos jam don't shake like that

Good Bourbon, tight pussy and a warm place to shit

Pretentious !! Moi ??

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: LilyFestre
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 02:55 PM

Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you.

I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: harpgirl
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 03:06 PM

from my dad when I was a kid...."No yabuts!"

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Metchosin
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 03:15 PM

Where there's folk there's mire

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 03:32 PM

"Herding cats is easier than stopping thread drift on Mudcat"

...me, 2 minutes ago

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 04:28 PM

At the risk of being "me too"--Bill D., how right you are!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 04:29 PM

The Seven Deadly Sins

    In the struggle primeevil between good and evil.
    Between Hell and Heavan at least seems number seven.
    Until this very day still lead us astray.
    But avoid them we must. Pride, Envy, Glotty, and lust,
    Anger, Averiance, and Sloth.
    As the flame draw the moth to the candle lite flume.
    By the seven deadly Sins we are drawn to our doom.
   
I wish i Knew who wrote these words of wit. But copied them from a recording of a Sunday Morning tv show with Charles Corrallt,(SBTS)

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 06:00 PM

Why Worry:

There are only two things in life to worry about.
Weather you are well or you are sick.
If your well theres nothing to worry about.
But if your sick there are two things to worry about.
Weather you get better or if you get worse.
If you get better theres nothing to worry about.
But if you get worse there are only two things to worry about.
weather you are going to live or weather you are going to die.
If you live there is nothing to worry about.
But if you die there are two things to worry about.
Weather you go to heavan or weather you go to hell.
If you go to heavan there is nothing to worry about.
But if you go to hell, You'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends you wont have time to worry.

Again dont know who wrote these words of wit but would like to and to make a correction on the source of the seven deadly sins. It was a Sunday Morning program by Charles OSGOOD, NOT Charles Corralt. I apoligize..   I wouldnt be a nothing, my head all full of stuffing if i only had a brain..The Scarecrow. The wizard of oz.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Once Famous
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 06:02 PM

One of my favorites is a phrase that I really don't use too oftern here. But I am fond of telling someone that I don't agree with that they talk like they have a paper asshole.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: number 6
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 06:18 PM

"I played the wrong, wrong notes"   -   Thelonius Monk


Thanks for starting this thread Brucie!

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 07:17 PM

There ain't no THERE there.

If I don't care about the staff, who will?

I can't promise that anyone else will (give blood, etc.).

Okay, go ahead and do it and ask me if you have questions or problems.
(To staff members at work)

A hunnert million bucks, Lord! That's all I ask, just a lousy hunnert
million, and I could tell all these politicians to go piss up a rope. (about the library budget)

So, why (aren't)(don't) we?

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 07:29 PM

1). If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day.
    If you teach a man to fish you feed him for a life time. UNKNOWN

2). God made some people big and God made some people small but
    Samuel Colt made them all equal. UNKNOWN

3). Tighter than a bulls ass in fly season. UNKNOWN

4). Worthless as the tits on a bore. UNKNOWN

5). Dryer than a popcorn fart. My Cousin.

6). Thous with nothing to hide, Hide nothing. UNKNOWN

7). Your Breath is so bad it could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon
    UNKNOWN

8). If you cant be with the one you love, love the one your with.
    Crosby, Stills, and Nash.

9). There is no truimp without loss. UNKOWN

10). All good things come in time, Great things happen all at once.
    UNKNOWN

11). Fears keeps you from seeing beauty and purpose. UNKNOWN

12). Sometimes its good to remember, sometimes its good to forget
      and move on. UNKNOWN

      Stay free and be happy and make sure the world is good to you
      and yours. KINDALOUPEHACKENWEEZ... PEACE.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 07:32 PM

Just one more for now:

       Opinions are like assholes, Everybody has one. AGAIN UNKNOWN
   Kindaloupehackenweez...Peace.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: LilyFestre
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 07:46 PM

Lately....

Kwitcherbellyakin!

F*ck it, I give up.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 07:58 PM

I've asked this on previous threads like this one but here it is again.............

A friend of mine was arguing about something with his Dad when we were maybe 25 or so. His Dad finally ends the argument by saying:
"Jesus Christ Dan, you act like a man with a rubber asshole."

We had no idea what that meant then and I still don't.....but I love the phrase.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 09:45 PM

If you don't chew your food, who will?

Where there's smoke, there's dinner!!!

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't rip his lips off.

paused like a woodpecker at timberline.

I keep a rabbi's foot in my pocket for luck.



Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 09:59 PM

"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think"

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day...teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat all day drinking beer."

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 12 Dec 04 - 10:16 PM

Hell no, I aint no cultavator, i'm a prespaterian.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Peace
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 12:38 AM

Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Peace
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 12:48 AM

Suck rocks. (I like that one.)

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 01:11 AM

'You can't get there from here. It's an old one, I know, but I've been known to use it.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Peace
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 01:30 AM

Adrianne.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 01:31 AM

Brucie Cat:Sucking rocks comes from the old days of crossing the dessert. Rocks would hold moisture and probly save some men from total dehydration.
FYI. Stay free and be happy. Kindaloupehackenweez..PEACE..
P.S. Brucie Love this thread was just telling Rustic Rebel Last friday night i was thinking of starting a thread..And calling it Requoteable Quotes.,And Low and Behold it was there already, Farm out

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 01:47 AM

I believe it was Voltaire:

"To succeed in politics, it is not sufficient that you be ignorant. You must also be polite."

John

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Peace
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 01:51 AM

That benevolent old asylum for the helpless: said by M Twain about the American Congress.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Cluin
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 01:52 AM

An old one: Crazy as a shithouse rat.

I wanted to call the last band I was in on forming The Shithouse Rats, but no one else was keen on the idea.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 02:20 AM

On Men: So waddaya want, a medal or a chest to pin it on?

Ah well, dead birds don't fall out of nests (referring to open trouser flies....)

He's a real Action Man (can substitute GI Joe) - realistic hair and no genitals.

On me: I just want the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Let's not talk about being overweight, until I finish having too much to eat.

I'm not bad tempered or violent, and if anyone says I am, I'll flatten them!

On arseholes: (For an office toady - cribbed from 'Red Dwarf') So is it the full church do or just a simple ceremony for you two then?

Oh, it's just like a willy but smaller.

On looks: A face like an arsehole with teeth - also heard as 'when God gave you teeth, he ruined a perfectly good arsehole!

Face like a slapped arse.

Arse like a slapped face.... for those less than pert buttocks....

Looks like a double bagger to me.... one for her head and one for your head, in case hers falls off....

A bit R.A.F. Rough as F&%k. A person of less than attractive visage.

Who needs a six pack when I've got an entire barrel?

Is it time for my medication or yours?



I'm the only sane one here, and I've the certificate to prove it!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Kaleea
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 02:33 AM

I resemble that incineration

Did you just make that up, or did you have to study the whole      dictionary to find all those words?

   I think the cheese dun slid offa yer cracker.

(of my preferred Guitar style):

    Ah'm a fanger picker!

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: 42
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 06:19 AM

I'm rather fond of this one. (used mostly for teenagers who do something really dumb)

When, exactly, did you donate your brain to science?

j

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Crystal
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 06:35 AM

One I use a lot;

Me: It's an...errr...you know, a thing....
Other person: (supplies elusive word)
Me: That's the Bunny!

Sometimes I will substitute: "That is indeed the rabbit."

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: ossonflags
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 06:39 AM

1.said about a man with a black eye;"he was talking when he should have been listening"

2. Minding mice at crossroads;

3. if I was any better I could'nt handle it

4. he smells like a shit smugglers haversack

and my favourite one for hecklers; " we have just had a phone call from your village, they are missing an idiot!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: freda underhill
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 07:06 AM

in oz we say

cunning as a shithouse rat.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 10:01 AM

I'm not greedy, don't need a whole lot of money. I only want a little more than I can spend.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: kindaloupehackenweez
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 10:24 AM

What the Hay heres a few more:

1).If you learn how to use your head you wont have to use your back.
   My Mom

2).If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all.
   My Mom

3).A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Unknown

4).Cash, Gas, Grass or cash nobody rides free. Unknown
                                              (Freak brothers??)

5).Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it
   Cub/Boy scout motto.

6).For how we live this life will follow us into the next. From the
    Mel Gibson movie "Galdeator"

7).The hearts of men are easily corrupted. The book/movie "Lord of the
                                                                Rings"

8).I'd rather work for the love of it than for silver or gold if
   unhappy. Unknown

9).Tis better to love and lost than to have never loved at all. ???

   OK Ok Ya Ya Ya Sure Sure rucky enough already
Stay free and be happy..Kindaloupehackenweez..PEACE...

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: GUEST,BIG ANDY
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 11:03 AM

I,d sooner nail my cock end to table, love. = This means no i would'nt like sex with you, and it's got to be said in a yorkshire accent.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 11:54 AM

"If you're gonna make tea, make tea....if you're gonna make water, get out of my kitchen."

my old, dearly departed friend, Tony...quoting his mother

"Anthropoligists have finally discovered the missing link between apes and civilized man.................us."
                   unknown

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 12:02 PM

My own:

Life; ain't it weird?


And with gratitude to Annie Hall:

Well La De Da.

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Scooby Doo
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 12:53 PM

Lets have a cutch,which is lets have a cuddle.

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Cluin
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 01:38 PM

From Alexei Sayle: "Well, it's a funny old world, innit?"

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 01:40 PM

I saw it as "Gas, Ass, or Grass--nobody rides for free."

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Great phrases you know and use.
From: Scooby Doo
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 01:57 PM

Hi butt,which is hello matey.
Thats 100th