BS: Jokes about politicians banned.

Subject: BS: Jokes abut polticans banned.
From: Peace
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 09:39 AM

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'

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The title is not true. It was just to attract your attention by thinking jOhn started the thread. But they should be and he should have. Know any? (I said know any, not gettin' any.)

An honest politician is one who, when bought, stays bought.

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 10:03 AM

True story not banned in this case but reprimanded "oh heck"

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: mooman
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 10:31 AM

I heard this one a while back about the Rev. Ian Paisley:
________________

Ian Paisley (from the pulpit):

And yers'll all be cast doin' inta hell whar thor'll be a great weepin' and a gnashin' o' teeth

Up speaks an old woman in the front row:

But I havna got any teeth...

Paisley (booming>:

TEETH WULL BE PROVIDED!!!
_________________

moo

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Peace
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 12:34 PM

S/he spoke from a solid position, with both feet firmly planted in midair.

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 12:40 PM

Yes, I know some politicians. Many of them are jokes.

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Cllr
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 01:11 PM

Ggggggrrrrrrr

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Cluin
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 02:19 PM

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?



Yeah, right... that's too much like actually doing something.

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Peace
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 04:36 PM

I am getting the distinct impression that no one finds anything funny about politicians.

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Benjamin
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 04:56 PM

Brucie, this isn't exactly a funny group of people all the time. I recomend you try this link. This guy actually did some research!
BMW

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Cllr
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 05:16 PM

I can be funny, people laugh at me all the time. Cllr

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Mr Red
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 05:19 PM

how can you tell when a politician is lying? (excluding councillors of course)











His mouth is moving. (or Her or It)

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Peace
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 05:19 PM

That link is beautiful, Benjamin. Beautiful.

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 07:09 PM

Sorta hard to make jokes about politicians when they do such good jobs of making jokes of themselves.

Maybe that's why people like Bush get elected: Because we all need someone we can look down upon.

(Neither of the above are jokes, just personal observations.)

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Dec 04 - 07:17 PM

Let's keep the jokes and ban politicians?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Peace
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 01:06 AM

Maybe we could elect jokes. Just for a laugh.

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Cluin
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 03:45 AM

Five surgeons are discussing who are the best patients to operate on.
   The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
   The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
   The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
   The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
   But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and ass are interchangeable.

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: mooman
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 04:31 AM

Also on a medical theme:
________________________

Medical science has now progressed to the point that brain transplants are possible....

A businessman who's brain is in serious need of replacement due to the excesses associated with his job goes to his neurosurgeon who shows him the range and price of what's available:

"This one was the brain of an astrophysicist. A fine logical brain, only $20,000..."

"Hmmm...OK"

"And this one was the brain of a famous philosopher. Creative and freethinking. A snip at only $30,000..."

"OK...what about that one over there? That looks in good condition. How much is that?"

"Oh...that's $2,000,000 Mr Smith. It's very special. It was the brain of a politician!"

"That's preposterous! Why is it so expensive!"

"It's never been used..."
________________________

Peace

moo

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 08:09 AM

LTS, my thoughts exactly!

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 08:49 AM

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George W. a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:
370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Colin Powell. Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it so it went to the CIA, and then to the NSA, then to the Secret Service. With no clue as to its meaning, they eventually asked Canada's RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) for help.

The RCMP e-mailed the White House. "Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down."

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: HuwG
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 09:15 AM

For some good politician jokes, try some of the comments from Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister. They may be a bit UK-heavy, but apparently the series went down quite well in the US.

Subject: RE: BS: Jokes about politicians banned.
From: Mr Red
Date: 14 Dec 04 - 03:31 PM

mooman

I heard a variant of that joke about banjo players - where the tag line was -

DO YOU REALISE HOW MANY (insert whipping dog here)'s BRAINS IT TAKES TO MAKE ONE POUND OF CERABELLUM?