Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes

Subject: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: Crystal Patterson
Date: 21 Nov 98 - 02:38 PM

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I'm in a bluegrass band and we are looking for some really good banjo picker jokes for a Christmas party we are playing at. Can anyone help?????

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 21 Nov 98 - 04:19 PM

Crystal,

These three banjo pickers walked past a bar... no, seriously, it could happen.

From another thread I found this site. click here. I haven't checked it myself. Most any search engine will take you to places you might rather not go if you search under "banjo jokes".

How can you tell if the stage is level? The banjo player drools from both sides of his mouth.

Quality always varies.

Gotta go emcee an Anne Hills concert. It's tough work, but someone has to do it.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 21 Nov 98 - 07:56 PM

It's been said (by a banjo player) that lousy bajo players play Scruggs; mediocre ones play bluegrass and good ones play music.

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From:
Date: 21 Nov 98 - 08:26 PM

And I heard that a gentleman in Arkansas was a man that could play the banjo......but didn't

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 21 Nov 98 - 10:53 PM

You can find lots of banjo jokes in the thread Banjo Jokes.

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From:
Date: 21 Nov 98 - 11:40 PM

There have been a slew of them on the newsgroup

rec.music.makers.acoustic

I only recall a few:

Q: What is the difference between an onion and a banjo?
A: You cry when you cut up an onion.

Q: What would happen if the banjo were left out of a bluegrass band?
A; The pieces would fail to sound the same.

Q: What is perfect banjo pitch?
A: One that doesn't hit the sides of the garbage can.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed by these jokes do not reflect my own.

Murray

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: nielen, dk
Date: 22 Nov 98 - 08:30 AM

Try this one: http://www.wsnet.com/~phil/banjokes.html

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: Bobby Bob, Ellan Vannin
Date: 22 Nov 98 - 09:07 AM

The old chestnut amongst jazz musicians was that if you only have six months to live, you should go and live with a banjo player. You'll still only have six months to live, but it'll seem longer.

Bobby Bob

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: Dan Keding
Date: 22 Nov 98 - 06:51 PM

How do you get a banjo player off your front porch??? Pay for the pizza.

Did you hear about the guitar player that locked his keys in his car?? It took him almost an hour to get it open and let the banjo player out.

What do you call a banjo player that just broke up with his girl friend?? Homeless.

How do you know its a banjo player at your front door?? The knocking gets faster and faster and they don't know when to come in.

Enjoy Dan

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 22 Nov 98 - 07:13 PM

A banjo player died and went to the pearly gates, and St. Peter said, "A banjo picker, eh? And bluegrass at that. With a background like that, you'll have to take a special test for admission. The test is to tell me what is God's first name?"

The banjo picker said, "Oh, that's easy. God's first name is Andy. We sing to him at Sunday school every week:

Andy walks with me
Andy talks with me
Andy tells me I am his own. . ."

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: Big Mick
Date: 22 Nov 98 - 07:29 PM

There is a banjo player in Michigan. He plays in my band. And he hates every one of you. :-))

Mick

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: DonMeixner
Date: 23 Nov 98 - 07:53 AM

How do you get a banjo player off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

Where there are four banjo players, you can usually find fifth.

You can always tell a banjo player, you just can't tell him much.

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: Big Mick
Date: 23 Nov 98 - 08:26 AM

And my favorite banjo joke from a previous thread.

If you see a banjo and an accordion laying in the road, which one do you run over first?

The banjo, business before pleasure.

Mick

Subject: RE: Wanted: Banjo Picker Jokes
From: Crystal Patterson
Date: 24 Nov 98 - 02:40 AM

Thank you all for writing!!! I laughed so hard I cried!!! I can't decide which to use first!! They were all great!! Thanks again!! Crystal Patterson "Out of the Woodwork"