Simple Gifts

Subject: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 11:07 AM

Simple gifts know no season. They all cost something, but not necessarily money. Some cost the inconvenience of interrupting your day to do something for someone else. Some cost setting aside your own preoccupation and trying to see life through someone else's eyes. Some cost giving up something good for a greater good. The currency of exchange is love.

A simple gift: The touch of a hand. When my wife and I visit the sick and shut-in, they want to be touched. I've visited people who can no longer talk, or open their eyes, but when you hold their hand and talk to them, they squeeze your hand. They want you to know that they hear you, and are glad that you remember them and care about them. They can say more with a feeble hand clasp than most people can with all the eloquence of speech.

If you are giving presents at this, or any time of year, don't forget those simple gifts.

Please share your simple gifts here on the Cat..

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Big Jim from Jackson
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 11:15 AM

Jerry, you're a good man; Ruth, you are a good woman. The best to both of you. Jim Hickam

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 11:18 AM

I always tell a parent that their child is beautiful - her hair, his eyes,, whatever. Makes Mom, Dad, and Baby feel special...and it's true. Children are beautiful. Nice thread, Jerry.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 11:18 AM

Yes, Being tactile causes some people some problems but most people like to be touched...a touching or holding of the hand, a hug or whatever.
Nice thread Jerry..Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: KT
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 01:42 PM

Jerry, great thread and the first paragraph is beautiful! I'm going to print it and put it on the refrigerator!

Okay, one more thing to do today......go to the local downtown area, watch for someone who's alone and could use a cup of hot coffee and a listening ear. Then sit down over that cup and listen for an hour!

Have a great day, y'all!

KT

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 01:53 PM

That's great KT. one such simple gift could mean so much to someone.
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 02:00 PM

You've chosen a good one, KT.. Listening. There's a great song recorded by Carmen McRae with the lines:

"Never stopped to listen, never missed a chance to speak."

People always think of conversation as talking. Talking without listening is a monologue. And sometimes, people just need to talk to someone who is interested in hearing what they need to say. "Thanks for listening" is a wonderful compliment to receive.

Of course, one of the greatest simple gifts, (and one of the rarest ones) is a true friend. There are those who minimize computer friendships as somehow being less than one in 3-D. I'm not one of them. There are many friends on the Cat who are gifts to me. Perhaps I am to some of them as well. For all the negativism and insults that fly back and forth in here, there are many friends whose presence in a thread makes my day. Lifts me up.

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Megan L
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 02:30 PM

today i sat with my neighbour as we waited for the ambulance which was going to do the one thing she dreaded - remove her from her home.

She is frail and has been getting frailer over the last few weeks. her husband was almost in tears as he told me how she was swearing and rambling- she would have hated to think she had been using bad language.

everyone said her mind was completely gone, but i knew she was still in there somewhere. in a brief moment of clarity she asked me if she would be allright, when i said i didnt know but she would get help and we would look out for her husband, she asked if i would tell her a lie, then she peered at me and said "no you wont tell me a lie because God is watching" I almost cried our religons may be different but we share a faith.

often we sit and talk about her childhood in Ireland and about our faith in those few words she gave me the greatest christmas gift she could, her trust. I am so glad i didn't answer her question with a platitude.

dont get me wrong i tell my fair share of lies usually to make life more pleasent but sometimes the best gift we can give is loving truth.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 03:17 PM

That's a beautiful story, Megan. I KNOW you're going to have a joyful Christmas this year!

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 04:01 PM

Being totally honest when it really matters, regardless of if it means you or them hurting for a while, if you really believe it's for the best, is what defines a true freind.

James

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 04:25 PM

When I returned this morning from a meeting at City Hall, I found several members of the staff working over a not-at-all-new bicycle. I found out the story:

Last Friday, one of our patrons (call her "Beth") had her bicycle stolen from the bike rack in front of the library. Beth is, well, mentally slow, and this disturbed her greatly as it was her only transportation. We called the police and did what we could, but that was all.

Until the staff members called a bike cooperative this morning. They brought over a servicable bicycle, and the staff lubed it up and bought a lock and reflectors for the bike.

Beth will be given it later this week.

I had nothing to do with this; I didn't even know about it (and officially I still don't).

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 07:18 PM

Must not let this beautiful thread die.
Best wishes. Mike.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 08:44 PM

We on't let it die.. Hey, maybe we could get in a compliment-shouting match, Mike. You wonderful person you! Just because you're blessed, does that give you the right to be a blessing?

The nerve of some people...

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: mg
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 10:04 PM

I met a man this year at work...almost no contact with him though..and I was mentioning some chronic car problems and wondering if I should drive to Olympia..about 2.5 hours away over some sometimes icy roads..and he said if I had car trouble, like anywhere on the route, to call him...I am still blown away by that...but I never see him now and I think he doesn't work here anymore. mg

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 07:01 AM

I certainly feel Blessed and privileged to have my life...and hope that I am a Blessing to some...but all this is overshadowed by the Blessings this thread can bring to so many if they wish to use it.
Wonderful sentiment Jerry..from the heart!
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Peace
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 07:10 AM

Time. Time is the greatest gift. The time we give to others and the time they give to us.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 07:31 AM

A piece of string is a good cheap gift, useful as well,
i bought my girlfrend a piece of string, she does not know waht i've got her for xmas yet, hope she likes it.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 07:37 AM

Such presents are very useful....May it serve to bind you closer together jOhn.
Best wishes...and hopefully see you tonight...Mike.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Crystal
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 07:51 AM

Time IS a great gift. Giving your time to others makes them feel special, and giving up your time to do somthing for others is it's own reward.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 08:07 AM

Believe in someone. Looking at our own lives, we realize how much the belief in us of others, when we didn't believe in ourselves is a transforming power.

When I was still working at a Museum, there was a member of the Board Of Directors who I really liked. I loved his optomism. He'd come up with an endless list of ideas for things that we could do... many of them hopelessly unrealistic. And yet, he was a very successful, practical business man. We'd approach every idea with an open mind, and look at all the pros and cons, and while many turned out not to be worth even attempting, there were many ideas that turned out not only to be practical, but wonderful new directions to go. I used to tell him how much I enjoyed him because he was a believer. I'd say, "Just because you believe you can do something doesn't mean that you can, but if you don't believe you can do it, you can be assured that you can't."

I think of many instances in my life when people believed so strongly in me, long before I could believe in myself. Belief isn't all that easily instilled in others, but through time, it can grow in the person with continual encouragement. My youngest son survived some extremely depressing and difficult years to a great extent because he knew that I never lost faith in him. With each passing year, he believes in himself more strongly, and my faith in him isn't as critical. There have been so many times when friends or family members have been struggling, when they've asked me "Do you still think I'll get through this?" They desperately needed that assurance.

And I'd always reassure them.

If you know someone who is really struggling, encourage them. Believe in them. And tell them.

It is one of the greatest of all gifts.

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: ranger1
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 08:10 AM

A simple smile to an absolute stranger as you walk down the street can sometimes make a world of difference in someone's life.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 08:18 PM

And of course, the one simple gift just about every Catter has to give is music. And, if music isn't to give, what in the world is it good for?

This Holiday season, Ruth and I were honored to join with Barbara and Frank Shaw and some of their friends to sing Christmas carols at a VA center luncheon. There was a lot of counfusion, as people were filing through the kitchen, getting their lunch while we were singing, but there was no doubt that a lot of them really appreciated our singing. Several of them came up to us and told us so. One man came up and said that it was just what he needed.. that it really lifted his spirits. Ours, too.

A while back, the Gospel Messengers did a concert for one. (I did that once as a folk singer, but not intentionally.) There is a woman in our church who is in her 90's, who in one year lost her husband and inexplicably went blind. The doctors could do nothing for her, so now she sits in her house, month after month, in darkness. She always loved to see the Messengers, so we came over to her house and did a whole concert just for her (and her care giver.) I don't know who was happier about it. Her, or us.

We all have blessings that just wait to be shared with those whose lives are often bleak. All it takes is thinking about it and setting something else aside.

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: KathWestra
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 09:26 PM

A spontaneous gift I once gave to a relative stranger turned out to be an incredible gift to myself. It was New Year's eve in the D.C. suburbs, two or three years ago. I had stopped at the little neighborhood wine/beer/lotto ticket store to pick up a bottle of wine to take to a neighborhood party. It's a store I went to fairly regularly, and I always talked to the owner, but never knew her name. The business obviously was struggling, and her partner never pulled his weight, leaving her to run things alone. That New Year's Eve, she looked absolutely exhausted, and was working that busy night all by herself. When I asked her how she was, she looked like she was on the edge of tears and said how tired she was. It was about 9:00; she had been working since 10:00 in the morning and had not had a break or a meal. I decided that what she needed most right then was a hot meal and some feeling that somebody cared how she felt. I walked out of the store and into the Mexican restaurant next door, and ordered a big meal for carryout. Brought it over to the wine store owner, who burst into tears. She didn't speak much English, but came around the counter and gave me a big hug and said "Thank you, thank you. I will remember this always." I thought I was doing something for her, but that hug and that connection with a relative stranger was a great gift to me. I had walked into the store feeling whiney and sorry for myself that I was spending another New Year's Eve as a single person going to a party full of couples. I left that store feeling connected in all the ways that count--by the strong threads of empathy and compassion and gratitude--and knowing the big difference that simple gifts can make.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: GUEST,KT, cookieless at the moment
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 10:35 PM

Kath, what a wonderful story!! Thanks for sharing it!

I wish you were coming to MY party! I look forward to meeting you some day!

KT

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: open mike
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 06:05 AM

i went to a rest home the other day to sing for an elderly woman
who now resides there. I knew that she was quite blind, but when i realized that she was deaf now too, i decided that she might not even hear a song should i play and sing for her, so i jsut sat and held her hand. When my mother lay dying in hospital, I sang in her room for many hours during the week i sat in vigil by her. She appeared to be not
able to hear, being in a coma as she was, but i sang anyway, knowing that the hearing is sometimes the last sensation to continue. I know that others is the same hospital keeping similar vigils were able to hear and be cheered by my singing. When people speak of their experiences of coming back from the dead, they often recall the sounds they heard in the room, doctors and nurses voices, etc. the eyes can close but the ears cannot. each year i make wreaths from grape vines when they are pruned. I usually use sprigs of Laurel leaves with some red berries that grow around here...fragrant and with a splash of color.(not to mention natural and organic)(or well, i gusss i did mention taht...)

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: greg stephens
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 07:49 AM

Jerry, you're a lovely man and I totally sagree with you about simple gifts. I don't want you to go to any trouble or serious expense, so one of those F-hole 1930s Gibson dance-band type guitars would do me fine.
A evry merry Christmas to you and yours, Jerry.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 08:06 AM

Will wishing you get one for Christmas be enough, Greg? I tell you what... if I get two for Christmas, I'll be glad to give one to you.

And a joyful Christmas to you!

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: greg stephens
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 08:10 AM

Ho, as they say, Ho.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Enti
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 08:44 AM

Lovely thread, merry christmas everybody!

A friend of mine had been doing voluntary work somewhere and when they were going home they still had all this tea left, so she took a pot, lots of cups, went outside to the park and gave it to all the people out there who could use it. She's this really bright, happy kind of person so I can imagine very well how great it must have been for those people to get it from her.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 06:06 PM

When the opportunity presents itself to do some unexpected act of kindness, I'm always appreciative for it. My Mother lives 1,000 miles away and my sons are equally far away. For many of us (perhaps most of us) we are scattered all over the place and we don't have that opportunity to do something loving for our own family and friends. To me, that makes it all the more enjoyable to do something loving for a stranger. I know there are others who are doing the same for my family. My Mother (and my Father while he was alive) really loved a young couple who came to their retirement complex and sang folk songs and early popular music. I may not be able to lift up the spirits of my Mother and others in the retirement complex where she lives, but I can sing for strangers around here. And, they aren't strangers for long.

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 08:41 PM

A simple gift I can take no credit for. I am tall.

It happens all the time. I'm walking down an aisle and I see a short woman looking wistfully up at something on a high shelf. She catches my eye and smiles, and I walk over and ask her what she needs. She tells me, and I reach up and get it for her, and she smiles and says "Thank you so much, I didn't know how I'd ever get it down."

Last Sunday, my wife Ruth and I went to visit a woman in her 90's who is blind. She has a live-in care giver named Ethel. Ethel really grinned when she came to the door to let us in. She said, "The Lord must have heard my prayer and sent you." The light was burned out in the hallway and Ethel is very short, and not too steady on her feet. She was afraid to try to get up on an old, rickety kitchen chair to replace the light bulb. Our blind friend had no need for it, but Ethel would be at a real disadvantage once the sun went down.
I'm tall enough that I just reached up, took hold of the bulb and unscrewed it, and replaced it with the new bulb that Ethel handed to me. Ethel kept going on and on about how the Lord had sent me. All I did was be tall....

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 09:53 PM

Frank and I love giving the gift of music. We do lots of caroling this time of year (and Jerry was kind enough to join us at one!) but we also bring some songs to the local soup kitchen every Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, whenever we can. It makes it a little more festive to have music with the meal, as we all know.

But our gift of music went farther than we expected, I found out yesterday. A dear friend of ours lost her husband to cancer this year. She told me yesterday that during his last days, he often asked her to put on our ShoreGrass album. He found it to be lively and happy, and apparently eased his mind. I'm under no illusions that our music is much more than amateur in overdrive, but the friend insisted that our music was what he asked for and it made a difference in his life during his last days. Wow. The simple gift that meant so much was her telling me about it.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 22 Dec 04 - 10:01 PM

Hi, Barbara: You and Frank are two of the real givers on Mudcat, and it was a great pleasure for Ruth and I to join you and your friends to sing carols.

Yes, there is something very special when your music means so much to someone that they want it to be a part of their last days (or their memorial service.) I've had that happen on three or four occasions, by myself, and as a part of the Gospel Messengers. There's nothing like singing someone home.

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Peace
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 02:13 AM

One of the things I get a kick out of is finding a song that someone wants. I will certainly never have the depth of knowledge or ability that someone like Q has--and many others here, but now and then I am able to help, and that gives me a real thrill. The act of being useful is self-rewarding. So is the act of being helpful.

I suppose in the Grand Design, these little things don't seem like much, but remember that all designs are made from littler designs, and again littler designs. I think nothing escapes the memory of the Universe, even if it does ours. And while I at it, Merry Christmas to all of you who (want the wish).

Thanks for the thread, Jerry. Again.

Bruce M

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 04:15 AM

Jerry. The fact that you are tall! It's not just that is it? The Lord knows who's willing, who is a servant and who gives...He picks you for those tasks, knowing your giving nature as he does his other faithful followers. Not just one of the "nice guys" Jerry but one of the chosen! Be Blessed! Best wishes. Mike.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: GUEST,Mr Red
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 08:27 AM

Solving problems for a bed-bound cancer patient. How to use a bath - bar seat that extends over the edge so the bather can sit and slide and lift one leg at a time. Doing it NOW because we don't know how long we have got.

Sometimes doing things does more for the doer than the recipient - takes yer mind off the inevitable.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 09:27 AM

I haven't read the whole thread on "well-known sayings you use" or whatever the exact title is. There's a variation on that, that applies here. And, I've seen the truth of it.

If you never give it away, it may be taken away from you.

When we were kids, most of us were told we had to "share." We were told it so often, because when you're a kid, sharing doesn't usually come all that naturally. As like as not, the response to that order was, "Aw Mom, do I HAVE to?"

I knew someone many years ago who was one of the most gifted musicians I ever met, and a fine artist as well. Those talents were used more as a "coin of the realm" than as a blessing. "Gifted" artists have been given their talents. I see people talking about how good they are doing something... singing harmony, for example. That's wonderful, and if it's recognized as a gift and is used to help others, that's as it should be. But, if gifts are used only to the benefit of the person who has been blessed with them, they may never fully realize their potential. And over the years, the talents may diminish because they have only been used for selfish purposes.

I'm not much for accurately quoting the bible but there's a statement to the effect that more is expected of those who have been given more.
The more you use your gifts to bless others, the more you will be blessed (or "happy" if you prefer a less spiritual term.)

Give and it shall be given to you.

I tell you... this stuff works!

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: GUEST,bible basher.
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 03:58 PM

Not sure where in the four gospels it is but the passage you are looking for is the parable of the "talents" as given by Jesus.
BB

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 04:13 PM

Thanks, BB. You da King!

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 07:34 PM

As we get closer to the Big Day, a reminder that simply not being a jerk around your extended family can be a gift you choose to give, however poverty-stricken you may be. (And if that requires teetotaling, so be it.)

Maybe it's boring when everybody gets along politely, but the alternative is making a few dear people ( or a bunch ) miserable so you can express some angst or shoot off your mouth. Not a gift.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 07:42 PM

That's a good one, Guest. The gift of holding your tongue. And not biting it off. Sometimes it's a surprise to find a human being underneath a prickly exterior.

Jerry

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: LadyJean
Date: 23 Dec 04 - 11:42 PM

A small warning. I broke my left arm several years ago. It's held together with a bunch of screws. I really do NOT like it when someone squeezes my left arm.
Be careful when you hug.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Amergin
Date: 24 Dec 04 - 02:56 AM

When my partner and the mother of my daughter goes to great lengths to let me know she and our daughter love me, although we are thousands of miles apart. It can make me feel soemtimes that they are there with me.

Subject: RE: Simple Gifts
From: Peace
Date: 24 Dec 04 - 03:01 AM

They are, Nathan. They are.