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Lyr Req: The Barking Creek Bell-Ringer's Daughter
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Subject: RE: Algenon Pide? From: Jim Dixon Date: 01 Aug 11 - 02:02 AM The song (recitation, actually) is THE BARKING CREEK BELL-RINGER'S DAUGHTER and the text has been posted here. It has to be the right one because it mentions "octopuses" and "flag-e-olation." There is a character named Algernon in it, but his last name is Stout. I have no idea where "Pide" comes from. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Aeola Date: 19 Jul 10 - 02:55 PM Just flicking thru' and saw this thread. I learnt this monologue many years ago, having heard it on the radio but could never find the origin.So thanks -- I can chase up a few links, you never know!! |
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Subject: Lyr Add: THE BARKING CREEK BELL-RINGER'S DAUGHTER From: GUEST,Fantum Date: 19 Jul 10 - 12:51 PM Here is a set of words with the requisite form. Bit late but I have just found the thread. I have it as a poem and I got it from the monologue site Make 'em laugh. Sadly I have no author but thrice blessed may he be. BARKING CREEK BELL-RINGER'S DAUGHTER The Barking Creek bell-ringer's bell it gets rung When the fog lies thick on the water, Though it's not of the Barking Creek bell my song's sung But of the Barking Creek bell-ringer's daughter. Now she was so lovely, so fair and so squat That conductors fell off of their buses As she walked down Cable Street bearing on top Her bath full of live octopuses. And all down her back from shoulder to thigh Their tentacles hung down in tresses, As sweetly she'd sing, "Won't you cough up and buy My octopus, live octopuses?" Now one day in August the sunshine was spread On her wares that she proudly was bearing, And the blowflies all glittered and buzzed round her head Like the halos that angels are wearing. As on the embankment her stock she laid out In that far from salubrious quarter, She aroused the wild passions of Algernon Stout An unemployed Billingsgate porter. Now Stout was a villain who wallowed in crime Who lived under some derelict barges And the day being hot, was laid out on the slime Where the Barking Creek sewer discharges. He crouched on the crust as the maiden drew nigh Her petticoats all of a-splatter. He licked his fat lips then, suddenly, like A wild rhino-sore-arse, flew at her. His head hit her first in a cloud of black dust And the bath took off like a rocket They crumpled and crashed till they broke through the crust To the mud underneath which was clotted. She pushed a large handful all slimy and green Down his gob like a mouthful of jelly, Then the bath full of octopus fell on the scene Upside down on top of the melee. Beneath it they struggled but Stout never knew The danger to which he was liable. An octopus, slyly, did stealthily glue Its sucker upon his left eyeball. Now vainly Stout struggled to loosen its grip And attempted the monster to throttle, When his eye came away with a pop and rip With the sound like a cork from a bottle. When Algernon spied he was only one-eyed He was filled with distraught irritation, And grabbed the poor octopus by its inside As a weapon of flag-e-olation. The octopus turned inside out with a gulp As Stout's actions got even distraughter. He sliced them all up and beat to a pulp The Barking Creek bell-ringer's daughter. Now there's some literati what's going to complain That a moral should here be appended, Whilst others, as surely, will loudly maintain That it's high time the bloody thing ended. But all you bum critics take notice from me If you're of the feminine gender, That in Barking today, there's a vacancy For a lady-like octopus vendor. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Bill D Date: 03 Apr 07 - 10:00 PM hmmm...you got me. I don't know what multiple terms do, but it sure doesn't work on "Mrs. Ravoon" Mrs. Ravoon Mrs Ravoon but does on Ravoon. I 'usually' keep searches to the simplest form I can, just to be safe. |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: SouthernCelt Date: 03 Apr 07 - 07:06 PM Thanks, BillD. I tried searching the DT for "Mrs. Ravoon" and I get no hits. If you search for "Ravoon" though you do get it. Is there something about multiple words or abbreviations not being searchable? SC |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Bill D Date: 03 Apr 07 - 04:04 PM dunno where you looked, but a DB search on "Ravoon" gives..this |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: SouthernCelt Date: 03 Apr 07 - 03:51 PM I tried to find the lyrics to "Mrs. Ravoon" in the db but got no result. I realize the message that referred to it being there was posted ten years ago, but I didn't realize anything ever disappeared from the db. I didn't read every message here so did I miss something along the way? SC |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: GUEST,David Date: 03 Apr 07 - 01:20 PM Poem performed and recorded by poet William Bealby-Wright (Barrow Poets) of Isle of Man Possibly written by Paddy Roberts, although I have seen it attributed to Anon The Barking Creek Bell Ringers bell it was rung When the fog hung down thick on the water but its not over Barking Creek Bell my songs sung But the Barking Creek Bell Ringers daughter ..The octopus turned inside out with a gulp But Snout became even distraugher And he sliced them all up, and he beat to a pulp the barking Creek Bell Ringers daughter it goes on forever! |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Search for octopus and flagellation s From: Charley Noble Date: 27 Sep 04 - 05:34 PM Alas, there is one less mystery in the mad Mudcat world! Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Search for octopus and flagellation s From: Helen Date: 27 Sep 04 - 01:00 PM Copied from this thread Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bare legged Kate - John Dengate From: GUEST,David - PM Date: 27 Sep 04 - 12:39 PM For Alison The Octopus song is called (as your friend almost remembered correctly) "The Barking Creek Bellringer's Daughter." Its about the eponymous bell ringers daughter who sells live Octopi for a living in East London and her grisly fate at the hands of Algernon Snout "an unemployed Billingsgate porter". According to the song she was a young lady of considerable charms "she so lovely so fair and so squat, conductors fell out of their buses.." Whilst out making her living she is spotted by Algernon Snout, "a villain what wallowed in crime," as the latter basks in the sun on the mud outside the sewage works. Snout wastes no words trying to woo the bell ringers daughter, he leaps on her and tries to force his unwanted attentions upon her. There is an epic struggle on the banks of Barking Creek between ravisher, ravishee and a bathtub of live Octopi. "Snout never knew the danger to which his was liable til a tentacle, slimy, did stealthily glue its sucker upon his left eyeball." Algernon leaves off his struggles with the bell ringers daughter to concentrate his efforts on the octopus and ".....attempted the monster to throttle, when his eye came away with a pop and a rip and a sound like a cork from a bottle. When Algernon spied he was only one eyed he was filled with distraught irritation and he grabbed that old octopus by his insides as a weapon of flagellation." I will draw a discreet veil over what happens next, suffice to say that it is the only recorded instance of homicide committed with a live cephalopod. I'm not going to post the whole thing because its very long and because you can buy a CD called "Deep Water Blue" by John Lewis of Brisbane (I think) which has it in its entirety, well recited in an authentic south london accent (which is close enough to Barking to pass muster). John may be willing to give you the words himself. Contact him on aussiefolk@optusnet.com.au. Leave a message on your original octopus and flagellation thread if you want more information |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Bill D Date: 20 Sep 04 - 01:15 PM well, I found the following quote in a review, so maybe it is just a poem....but it sounds like we are close after all this time... I do wonder how people find these threads, though! "However, you haven't heard a story about the sea until you've heard John reciting The Barking Creek Bell Ringer's Daughter, a sheer delight, if you have a strong stomach!" |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: GUEST,David Date: 20 Sep 04 - 09:13 AM The Barking Creek Bell Ringers Daughter You can find it on 'Deep Water Blue' by John Lewis. Contact him direct on aussiefolk@optusnet.com.au (unless it was John who was the 'friend' who was originally looking for the song in the first place.) |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: lamarca Date: 12 Dec 01 - 10:59 AM Well, well, well (a deep subject for all our shallow minds); this succeeded better than I had hoped in sparking an insightful and mature discussion of musical renditions of Cephalopodic sado-masochistic tendencies...see what riches can be gleaned from Mudcat's murky Mesozoic murmurings? |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Peter Kasin Date: 12 Dec 01 - 01:48 AM Spaw, I knew you'd pull something out. Good on ya. |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: alison Date: 12 Dec 01 - 12:20 AM lol... I stand corrected slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Dec 01 - 11:40 PM I'm sorry al......I don't have anything that accomodates "little openings"....... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: alison Date: 11 Dec 01 - 11:29 PM what I can't believe is that 'spaw passed up an opertunity to take a line like "Just give us a little opening, and...." and run with it........ lol slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Dec 01 - 10:47 PM Yeah, what a pity.......Here was a perfectly fine "OLD DAYS" thread which has now gone straight into the shitter.......On the other hand, note that it now certainly has some answers!!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Peter Kasin Date: 11 Dec 01 - 08:12 PM We're about as irrepressible as a pair of polyester slacks, Alison. Just give us a little opening, and.... |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: artbrooks Date: 11 Dec 01 - 08:04 PM This entire discussion has me floating belly-up. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Bat Goddess Date: 11 Dec 01 - 07:54 PM Ah, sorry, octopods . . . I only do decapods (well, not technically true). Has anybody checked with Llewtrah or the Bawdy Song List? Or the Hash House Harriers or Zippy? Linn |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Herga Kitty Date: 11 Dec 01 - 07:26 PM I've heard Malcolm Austen sing "What shall we do with the octopus's leg? (Not much, I'm thinking)".... This gives you eight verses to think of possibilities, although Malcolm tends to invest a few legs in a stool, after a stick for old Meg, a clothes peg, a fried egg, a beer keg..... Kitty |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Bill D Date: 11 Dec 01 - 07:15 PM to paraphrase Marconi.."What hath got writ?" |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: alison Date: 11 Dec 01 - 07:13 PM oh dear..... I went off to play music and look what you did to my thread!!!!!!............. I love it....lol glad you didn't leave it to just flounder... slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Amos Date: 11 Dec 01 - 09:42 AM Well, I duhnno who Algernon Charles Swin-Burne is or how his name got tagged onto that octopussy chant, but as Spaw said it is pretty ripe tripe and an embarassment to people with three names everywhere! Arthur Clement Hilton included! On closer inspection it is an in-crowd joke -- you would have to be a white, dead, Victorian to get the inside track on it -- one bad poet parodying another! Well, what the hell -- it was before radio, even, and they had to do something in the evenings while the ladies went through the long slow process of peeling their bustles. A A. |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Dec 01 - 08:12 AM Well, I see a Joe Clone came along and did the line breaks.....Thanks. I generally do them, but I didn't think that thing was worth the effort, especially since it's a talk song and I didn't figure the DT was in need of it either. I'm sorry Elf and I thank you for taking the trouble. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 11 Dec 01 - 04:35 AM Wasn't it a hit for young Britney? "Whip me baby eight more times". |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 11 Dec 01 - 04:06 AM I can see I'm leaving the standard of humour (humor)here in safe hands! LMAO. RtS (give those folks a gold star-fish) |
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Subject: ADD: Wet Dream (Kip Addotta) From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Dec 01 - 01:33 AM And before we try to outdo each other in fish puns, here's the lyrics to "Wet Dream" by Kip Addotta.....It's a"talkie" anyway, so I'll skip the line breaks. It was April the forty-first Being a quadruple leap year I was driving in downtown Atlantis My barracuda was in the shop So I was in a rented stingray And it was overheating So I pulled into a Shell Station They said I'd blown a seal I said, "Fix the damn thing And leave my private life out of it Okay pal?" While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar, a real dive But I knew the owner He used to play for the Dolphins I said "Hi Gil" You have to yell, he's hard of herring Think I had a wet dream Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Wet dream Gil was also down on his luck Fact is he was barely keeping his head below water I bellied up to the sandbar He poured me the usual Rusty snail, hold the grunion Shaken not stirred With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side Heavy on the mako I slipped him a fin On porpoise I was feeling good I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids For the halibut Well the place was crowded We were packed in like sardines They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal What sole Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna Salmon Chanted Evening And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers Probably there to see the bass player One of them was this cute little yellowtail And she's giving me the eye So I figured this is my chance for a little fun You know, piece of Pisces But she said things I just couldn't fathom She was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressure Boy, could she drink She drank like a . . . She drank a lot I said "What's your sign" She said "Aquarium" I said "Great, let's get tanked" Think I had a wet dream Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Wet dream I invited her to my place for a midnight bait I said "Come on baby, it'll only take a few minnows" She threw me that same old line "Not tonight, I gotta haddock" And she wasn't kidding either Cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike He was covered with mussels He came over to me and said "Listen, shrimp, don't you come trollin' around here" What a crab This guy was steamed I could see the anchor in his eyes I turned to him, I said "A-balone, you're just being shellfish" Well, I knew it was going to be trouble and so did Gil 'Cause he was already on the phone to the cods The haddock hits me with a sucker punch I catch him with a left hook He eels over It was a fluke but there he was Lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel Kelpless I said "Forget the cods Gil This guy's gonna need a sturgeon" Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend She came over to me, she said "Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish What's your name" I said "Marlin" Think I had a wet dream Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Wet dream Well, from then on we had a whale of a time I took her to dinner, I took her to dance I bought her a bouquet of flounders And then I went home with her And what did I get for my trouble A case of the clams Think I had a wet dream Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Wet dream Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Wet dream Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Dec 01 - 01:14 AM Thanks Rick, I appreciate you not being shellfish with your talent. Whale of a tuna ya' got there. Maybe you can make a few clams from it. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Peter Kasin Date: 11 Dec 01 - 12:49 AM Yeah, Rick. He knew his scales. |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Rick Fielding Date: 11 Dec 01 - 12:33 AM Yah Ranger, loved the bass on that one. |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Peter Kasin Date: 11 Dec 01 - 12:28 AM Hey, didn't the soul duo Salmon Dave record that in the 60s? |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Rick Fielding Date: 11 Dec 01 - 12:17 AM to the tune of 'let it snow, let it snow, let it snow" "When you flagelate an octopus darlinnnn' Said the tarpon to the marlinnnnn' make him keep his tentacles hid, Or he'll squirt you with his Giant Squid." to the tune of 'let it snow, let it snow, let it snow" Lyrics by Andrew Lloyd Blubber Recorded just for the halibut, by Mary Kay Plaice and Tommy Tuna. |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Dec 01 - 11:15 PM You had the good sense not to post it al.......I can hardly wait for someone to say they are looking for a song with the words like "glorious and golden" and running a search and that thing comes up....I'm sitting here reading the thing over and over and it just cracks me up!!! Why don't we put a tune to it and add it to the DT? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: alison Date: 10 Dec 01 - 11:08 PM funnily enough 'Spaw... thats the very same poem as I put the link to........ lol... great minds indeed Bill... or maybe I'm sick too!!!! lol slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Dec 01 - 10:40 PM Geeziz, what a piece of crap........Glad you posted it Bill....Ought to come up occasionally to folks dooinf a forum search and they'll be thinking, "Say WHAT?" I think I want to memorize that one....I can see reciting it with a greatly dramatic rendition.... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Bill D Date: 10 Dec 01 - 10:38 PM *LOLOL*...and I'M a sick man!....great minds, my dear alison. great minds! |
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Subject: RE: Search for octopus and flagellation song From: Bill D Date: 10 Dec 01 - 10:29 PM well, you sure do get strange things when you start playing with THOSE words.....not what you want, but this thread deserves a creep..(no,,,not ME!) By Algernon Charles Sin-Burn
1 Strange beauty, eight-limbed and eight-handed,
9 Wast thou born to the sound of sea trumpets?
17 Lithe limbs, curling free, as a creeper
25 O breast, that 'twere rapture to writhe on!
33 Ah! thy red lips, lascivious and luscious,
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