BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 12:20 PM

We will definately be there next year MudGuard!! Good to see you again!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: MudGuard
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 12:19 PM

Congrats, cat!

'twas nice meeting you again! But a pity you couldn't come to Portaferry!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 11:59 AM

Liz...correct on both counts...but how did you guess??!!! Micca did comment and say "Shave What??!

A sponsored weight loss programme....could be just what I need especially with the wedding in 4 months!

Black Walnut....Micca also commented on the Bunny thing but it wasn't about hopping!

I have good movement in the knee but it is restricted. It feels great to have the cast off!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: black walnut
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 10:40 AM

WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But can you hop, hop, hop like a bunny?

~b.w.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 06:50 AM

just in time for Lent..... how about a sponsored weight loss programme - proceeds to Mudcat?

Bet the first thing you did was scratch, and the second will be shave it!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 08 Feb 05 - 06:29 AM

The cast was taken off my leg today YEAH!!!!!

The knee feels very weak and unstable but the strength will come back with physio which I start in 3 weeks time. The consultant said Im not to go back to work for at least another 6 weeks but hopefully I am going to work from home.

Liz the Squeak and I are going to go swimming so I will be up and about in time for the wedding and handfasting!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: gnu
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 07:43 AM

Cuddles and agenda. Never heard nicknames like that before. Glad to hear you are doing well, shortly.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Áine
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:42 AM

Hey you two love birds!

Glad to hear that the cuddles will be re-commencing shortly!! Keep yer chins ups and yer arms open, that's what I always say. ;-)

Big hogs and snugs to you both, Áine

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 05:24 PM

Sofa so good?
G

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Micca
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 04:27 PM

Giok, I am NOT going all the way to the West Midlands for a hug!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 03:45 PM

Chesterfield?
G

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 03:41 PM

If the Agenda isn't comfortable, they may have to Table their hugs for a while.   ;->

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: My guru always said
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 03:22 PM

I do hope that the Top of the Agenda is as comfortable as the sofa *grin*

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 02:57 PM

SINS....the cast is uncomfortable so hugs and cuddles are only short in duration. We can't cuddle on the sofa like we normally do....but in just over a week the cast will be removed and cuddles will be back on the top of the agenda!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 11:11 AM

Nice, Allison. Now Micca is hacking away trying to catch his breath and catsphiddle is forced to look after him. Take care of each other, guys. I too am interested in how a cast on your leg interferes with hugs. Must be some strange Brit thing.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 06:50 AM

Blessings, Khatt and Micca- May you both mend soon! Now we know where the Mudcat Recovery Ward Headquarters should be!

I finally found a joke- not that it's close to the brilliance above me. But for what it's worth:

Shakespeare and Burns arrive together at the Pearly Gates.
Peter informs them there is room in heaven for only one more poet, and
the way it will be decided which goes in is by a contest to see who can
create the more ingenious four-line stanza using the word Timbuctoo.
The Bard of Avon is first off the mark:


"I took a walk along the shore
And heard the mighty ocean roar.
Forsooth, a ship hove into view,
Bound methought for Timbuctoo"


Burns hadn't heard of a place called Timbuctoo, but his ribald
imagination came to his rescue in heaven as it had done so many times on
earth:


"Tim and I a-camping went.
We spied three lassie in a tent.
Since they were three and we were two,
I bucked one and Tim bucked two."

Allison

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Guy Wolff
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 07:55 PM

Home and sick together. At least you can hold a fiddle under your chin I hope. You can play " Lula bye and good night close you big blood shot eyes" LA LA LA,   LA LA LA, lLA LA la lala   LA LA .... I hope you both feel a ton better soon,Love Guy

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Peg
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 06:35 PM

coming late to this thread but wanted to say I am there with ya Khatt! I went thru this over the summer and it is no fun whatsoever. It's a long road getting all your normal motion back but take it slow and you should be fine. I am not 100% yet after my fall and broken leg but mostly there! Hopefully by spring I'll be doing everything I used to...so hang in there and know there will be an end to the slow process of healing.

Tip--drink comfrey tea (helps bones heal) and hold off on taking calcium for a few more weeks...

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 11:53 AM

Im feeling well, the cast is a lot inconvenient. Micca still has a bad cold and cough and consequently we have the heating on all day which is good for him but not for me!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Fortunato
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 10:12 AM

'Eh, what's the latest? 'catphizzle dancing the Lambada yet, Micca all done blowing his brains out his nose?

Hope you are both in better fettle.
cheers,
chance

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 08:23 AM

Micca dotes, and Khatt denotes
Her pleasure at his doing so
Physio terrorists loom
Lock your room.

Coddled eggs, and broken legs
And humping on the stairway
Micca looks after thee
Doesn't he!

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: My guru always said
Date: 29 Jan 05 - 06:25 AM

Watch out for that itch Khatt Dear, and don't get too overconfident with bumping up & down the stairs *grin* Recommend Hot Toddies for both, with or without a cold! Positive thoughts...

Beware being 'coddled', I happen to have a lovely set of 'coddlers' & this involves being screwed.....

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 11:14 PM

At least you'll have it off for Valentines Day!!

That's what I'm hoping for too :-)

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Cats
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 05:00 PM

Frogs sounding as if they have tonsilitis can be a dangerous thing. Last saturday night the frogs in our pond were groaning. On Sunday the pond was full of frog spawn. They're groaning again tonight..... Now I know Micca has always had a briliant voice but......

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 12:54 PM

At least you'll have it off for Valentines Day!!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 09:50 AM

Cheers everyone. The good old NHS is keepingmy cast on slightly longer because there wasn't an appointment available for me next week so I am going on the 8th February to have it removed then hopefully I can start getting some mobility back!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: freda underhill
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 08:02 PM

hey, i hope you're both doing well - thinking of you!

freda

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Col K
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 07:59 PM

Get well soon Micca.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: kendall
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 07:52 PM

Seriously, I'm glad to hear you are home. Friggin' hospitals are full of sick people.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: kendall
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 07:51 PM

Your cast gets in the way of hugs? Hmmm, how about a demonstration at the Getaway?

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: MudGuard
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 04:41 PM

Well Micca [...] sounds like a bullfrog with tonsillitis.

So everything is quite normal ... ;-)


Get better fast, Micca! And you, Khatt, too!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 04:32 PM

He does indeed. He managed to get the cold walking between the hospital and home everyday to see me in the freezing cold. Can't really deliver too many hugs to him though because my cast keeps getting in the way!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jan 05 - 04:28 PM

Well Micca needs a few good thoughts too, he's got the mother and father of all colds at the moment and sounds like a bullfrog with tonsillitis.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Pauline L
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 10:51 PM

I'm glad you're home again, Catsphiddle. You sound like you're in good spirits. Take it easy and let Micca wait on you.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: artbrooks
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 05:56 PM

Hey!!! Jenn is an "occupational terrorist" ... and I expect she will enjoy that term.

Best from both of us, and hope you are up and about soon...but don't rush it. You are a wonderful person, and deserve to be coddled on a regular basis...and remind Micca of that in the unlikely event he forgets.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 05:08 PM

You make me blush. I meant "humping it" up and down stairs on yer arse ! Now...

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 05:02 PM

Gnu.....you can't do alot of humping with a leg cast on!!

One of my friends phoned the local pizza delivery place to order me a desert called Hanky Panky she said I wouldn't be able to have any real 'fun' for a while and the take away place refused to deliver it to the hospital!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 05:00 PM

Drink lots of cold ewater and hump slow.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 04:43 PM

Good job I don't like figs really!! Just about mastered the stairs but I have to go up and down on my back side as they are too steep when you're wearing a full leg cast!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 01:55 PM

"physio terrorists"... hehehe. I'm gonna use that one. Glad to hear things are progressing. Take care. Drink lots of cold water and walk slow (not REALLY sure what Gramma meant, but she was wise and she said it all the time, so just do it).

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 10:57 AM

Eat all those figs and you won't need to bother coming downstairs!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 10:38 AM

When I had a broken leg (many years ago) my mother made me eat lots of figs. They're supposed to be high in calcium. I liked the taste okay but those little crunchy seeds were offputting. We compromised on fig bars (Fig Newtons are a big brand over here in the U.S.). Fig Info.

Eat healthy, relax at home, and don't run on the stairs now that the rail is up!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Tinker
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 09:29 AM

Congrats on your escape from the confines. Now that you have the comforts of your own home again, eat,sleep, and be generally merry. Micca gets a grand hug for expediting the homecoming process and all that good stuff. One step at a time....

tink

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 08:33 AM

HUZZAH!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 04:30 AM

Welcome home Khatt - and well done Micca for your heroic efforts with a drill and set of spanners (oh, no - the imagery!).

Here's to a speedy recovery

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: fat B****rd
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 04:12 AM

Take care and get well soon.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 26 Jan 05 - 04:11 AM

Ditto on what everyone else said. Glad you're home, take advantage of the time by getting a lot of rest and relaxation...I bet Micca is more than willing to help on the latter!

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Richard Atkins
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 10:22 PM

Good news your home cats thoughts with you. Tell Micca the Hip Flask was brill ,and did I have a taster of some bloody marvelous stuff as strong as petrol from it at Towersea? :>} Love to you both and speed on the full recovery.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 09:12 PM

Yayyyyyy!!!!!!!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Col K
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 06:06 PM

Glad to hear that you are home now.Let Micca take care of you at least the food will be better than in hospital.
It was good to see you last week and hopefully I will see you again soon.
Lots of love
Colin

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: jacqui.c
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 05:05 PM

Glad you're back home cats - take care of yourself.

Micca's a real diamond, isn't he!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Biskit
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 04:59 PM

The Very Best wishes for a thorough and speedy recovery.
X's & O's
~Biskit~

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Tig
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 04:34 PM

Glad to hear they have let you out. Didn't they fancy the Coven descending since it was full moon?

Take it easy and no trying to surf down the stairs - or go through the maximum number of pots, even if you like the pretty colours you can have as the top layer.

Lots of love and hugs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 03:52 PM

Just getting home? I missed the interim. Happy Burns Day, catsphiddle. Enjoy! but in moderation.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 02:57 PM

After the cast is off, are you 'at home' for a while? We can make up a 'swimming party' on Thursdays or Fridays if you like....

Great to have you back home. Will visit later in the week (once Limpit is back at school, she was feeling left out and needed a couple of days at home being ill)...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Polly Squeezebox
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 01:11 PM

Take care and take time to heal properly.

Brightest of Blessings,

Polly

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 12:36 PM

Just in time for you Burns Supper with Micca providing the malts. Really as pleased as you are that you're back home, I know and hate hospitals, spent too much time in them!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 12:18 PM

Just steer clear of the psycho terrorists, duckie, and all will be well. Welcome home, blossom and learn to walk in happiness!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 12:15 PM

I'M HOME!!!! YEAH!!

I failed the 'stair assesment' on Friday so they wouldn't let me home which was just as well because I spent the weekend vomitting. They weren't going to let me home until the latter part of the week becsue we don't have an handrail going up the stairs but Micca turned into my knight in shining armour and fitting one yesterday. The Occupational Terrorists visited the house and said if I pass the stair assessment I could go home....which I did with flying colours!

Hospital food hasn't improved at all since last year, in fact I think it has got worse. I was in there a week an d ate a grand total of 4 meals...and two of those Micca brought in for me. I kept my strength up with food parcels...thank you Liz and Limpit!!

Thank you to the CHVT you cheered me up.....after you left the sister came along and took my notes to make sure they hadn't been added to in anyway!!! Pixie....Micca put the cheese in the fridge but it seems to have taken over LOL!

Thank you all so much for you good thoughts and wishes. The cast comes off in 2 weeks then its back to the physio terrorists!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 25 Jan 05 - 08:59 AM

I found out when I had my first child that morphine, pethidine and other related painkillers make me violently ill - even a medication with a lot of codeine has that effect on me too. I always tell them when I go to hospital and they give me an allergy bracelet. I've always managed to get by with very low doses of any kind of medication in fact.

Sometimes I wonder (and rather dread) what would happen if I had pain strong enough to need a really strong painkiller, because to me, throwing up continuously is no better than the pain. Lets hope I never have to find out.

I know how utterly miserable one can feel when this is happening, so I hope it can be sorted for you soon.

Jenny

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 03:00 PM

My ex had his tonsils out when he was in his 30s. This surgery is much harder on adults than children. There he was with such a sore throat, and they gave him Darvocet--it had him throwing up, adding insult to injury!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: jacqui.c
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 11:20 AM

Give her our love Micca - and check out those painkillers - SRS is right.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 11:15 AM

100 bars of choclate might help

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Jan 05 - 11:12 AM

I presume they keep changing the plaster as the swelling goes down.
Giok [ no rude comments! ]

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 09:54 PM

Poor baby. Take some nice music or poetry down to at least soothe her soul, if not her stomach.

The painkiller can cause the nausea. You could ask them check it.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Micca
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 06:45 PM

she has been Voming a bit today and is pretty miserable at the moment but they are going to replaster the leg tomorrow and maybe let her home in a few days,

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Tig
Date: 23 Jan 05 - 05:05 PM

Were the CHVT caught in the act? Did she survive their visit?
Has she beaten up the Physio Terrorists? Or accosted their ears with the bad jokes?

Come on - let us know!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Morticia
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 08:55 PM

Don't let word of this get out but the CHVT is actioned for 18:00 hours tomorrow..bearing stealth choccie and one or two other surprises. Pixie adores hospital visiting, specially if she finds a white coat that is small enough to fit her...we alter charts, eat everyone's grapes and tell people who need a bed pan to hang on, someone's coming ( which they aren't).It's the dogs. Hang on Khatt, we're coming *E.G*

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 06:20 PM

Micca, tell Khatt thanks about the bear name! (Ghirardelli was also a possibility!) :)

BTW: Moonglow has been rationing out the various chocolates and candies you sent. They have been a great treat, and a lot of fun to compare to local products.

Hugs to both of you, and stay comfortable. I hope Liz's food-smuggling campaign is successful!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 06:05 PM

The advance party rallied at 16.00hrs today, armed with various foodstuffs (the chocolate dipping biscuits went down well) - the stealth chocolate was so stealthy, I remember buying it, I remember not eating it, but I don't remember passing it over to Khatt.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 04:59 PM

Combat Hospital Visiting Team (noun)--a paramilitary organization whose purpose is invading Khatt's ward, terrorizing the staff and leaving her in stitches, so to speak, and weak from laughter.

Good luck, team!!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Teresa
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 04:49 PM

Get well soon, please. Looking forward to meeting you two at the getaway. :)

Teresa

What is an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?
Someone who lies awake all night, wondering if there really is a Dog.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: sian, west wales
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 04:11 PM

OK - kinda back-slud on the jokes assignment so, poor tho' it may be:

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. And, she didn't miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. And as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her....... "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and credit card."

sian

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: MudGuard
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 03:37 PM

What's CHVT?

Micca, give her a hug from me!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 03:32 PM

Thanks, Micca. Please tell her we're with her, and to rest easy till she can get up and kick some ass.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 03:26 PM

"...regular...". Good news. Now... how many of youse guys wanted to say, "Break a leg." before she went in but thought it in VERY bad taste ? Even for this crowd.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Micca
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 03:21 PM

Bulletin.
Khatt is in there for the weekend, its official.
she is having problems with stairs so they are keeping her in.
she is a LOT less than happy about this but Sailorvee as they say.
anyway the CHVT are intending to premiere their new Formation Hospital Visiting routine tomorrow and I will give more details after the event.. apart from that she is quite cheerful, off the morphine and on more regular painkillers, boredom is rife but the leg is twingeing enough to remind her why she is there. Many thanks for all your good wishes Micca

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 03:51 AM

Has she not eaten much because it's disgusting or because she's not hungry?

Food parcel being prepared later, to be delivered this afternoon.....

CHVT - This is going to be a covert operation, I want you sneaking in, under the cover of nurses, one every 10 minutes. That should get the maximum coverage with the minimum chance of detection. All combatants will be equiped with stealth chocolate, the latest spyware fruit bowls and WMDs (Water, Mineral for Drinking). Good luck chaps, see you back in Blighty.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Morticia
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 03:42 AM

Ok, combat hospital visiting team, form up, by the right!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 07:34 PM

Geoff says if she's got a new cast who is playing her?? Is John Rhyss Davies playing Micca?

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Micca
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 07:23 PM

Ah, here is the Straight stuff,

The physical Terrorists havent been to see her yet,
she has had a new pot fitted (see Liz's post)
she is still doped up and hasn't eaten much
and still on a drip Saline/glucose?
chances of getting home tomorrow < Negligible, I would say

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Big Mick
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 05:59 PM

Phid, me love, I just found this. I am so pleased to hear things went well. Give my regards to that layabout, and make him cook for you.

Here's one to make you smile.

Mrs. O'Grady went to the doctor and complained, "My husband's got no sex drive. I'm raring to go, but he ain't interested."
"Well," said the doctor, "Why not try Viagra?"
"He won't take the stuff," says Mrs. O'Grady.
"Well there's an easy solution to that," says the doctor, "Just put a couple of drops in his coffee. He'll be none the wiser."
A couple of weeks later, Mrs. O'Grady is back in the office. "How did the Viagra work?" the doctor asks.
"Oh doctor, it was terrible!" Says Mrs. O'Grady. "I put it in his coffee, and he drank it right down. Next thing I know he's got me up on the table, and his pants are down and he's going at it like when we were first married."
"Was he too rough?" the doctor asked.
"No," Mrs. O'grady said. "The best sex I ever had in my life. But I'll never be able to show my face in that Starbucks again!"

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: MudGuard
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 05:44 PM

A new cast? After just one day? What a waste ;-)

But as long as Khatt only wastes one cast per day and not one castle per day ... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 05:37 PM

She had a new cast fitted this afternoon, but I didn't make it round to see her.. she sent me a message!

She still hopes to be home on Friday but we'll see.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 05:33 PM

Glad to hear it went well, Miss Phiddle. Hope you are safely home ASAP.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Jeanie
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 06:09 AM

With love and all good wishes for a speedy return home and swift recovery,
- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 05:51 AM

Glad things went well- now, you let yer feller pamper you and get yourself rested and feeling better!

Love,

Allison

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: KT
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 08:58 PM

Hey, dear khatt!!! Speedy recovery to you!! You'll be feeling good as new in no time at all. Hang in there during these first few days and let Micca take good care of you!

Lots of love,

KT

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: JennyO
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 08:32 PM

Hi Cats. I hope it's all going well. Someone sent me these in an email today. I thought you might like them:


Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the
boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.!
Female... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.!
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male
bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can
achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5
minutes.


AND:


He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing
to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave
you?
She said . ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . .... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . .. I would but you're never there.

He said . . Why did the man cross the road?
She said . He heard the chicken was a slut.

He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said .. . . They don't have time

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said ... . . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring and Good- looking?
She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.

She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is
every night?
He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go
to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the
fridge.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: My guru always said
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 05:40 PM

Brill news!!! More positive thoughts for recovery, love & hugs to you both,
Hil
ps. received micca, thanks MeDear x

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Tig
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 05:22 PM

Glad they got the knock out drugs better balanced this time.

Give her a big hug from us when you go to see her please.

Lots of love and hugs,
Tig, Badger and Firecat
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 10:22 AM

Great news!

I found this in my e-mail today and thought it might make you smile.

..xx..e

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How
long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2
hours."

The guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door
and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around at shop full of customers and
says, "About 2 hours."

The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and
asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around and says, "About an hour and a
half."

The guy leaves.

The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says,
"Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes."

Later, Bill comes back into the shop, a grim look on his
face.

The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left
here?"

Bill looked up and said, "To your house."

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Fortunato
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 10:21 AM

Well, well, catPizzle, you must hurry and heal up extraordinarily well, so that you can run up the hills with me at the Getaway in October. (Everything is uphill from everywhere, somehow).

Micca, you read up on massage and apply lots of same so that you can do something useful besides make tea while she recuperates.

All the best
Chance

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: MudGuard
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 08:58 AM

That's good news!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 08:57 AM

good healing thougts to you both......xxxxxxx

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 08:55 AM

good to hear..keep us updated!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Micca
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 08:46 AM

Khatt is back from surgery AND IN RECOVERY she is a bit woozy from the anaesthetic but quite cheerful, the "reawakening" was better this time around, she has her Black Bear from SRS (which she has called "Maggie" for some reason) and her Bagpuss and singing mouse on her bedside table and Thanks you all for your thoughts and messages

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Áine
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 08:39 AM

Hey Khatt (and you too, Micca darlin') -- Thinking of you both this morning and hoping that everything is going well. Don't let all of this get you bumfuzzled. Keep loving each other and things will be back in their places with smiling faces real soon. ;-)

Hogs and snugs to you both, Áine

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 03:40 AM

My computer has been giving me nightmares so this is the first time I've been to Mudcat for days.

Cats, I'll be thinking of you and sending you lots of healing energy.

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: HuwG
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 09:27 PM

Things you don't want to hear in a hospital ...


"Oh, sorry. This is a rectal thermometer."

"Er ... Am I putting this in or have I just removed it ?"

"Er, let me see ... The toe bone's connected to the / foot bone. And the foot bone's connected to the / ankle bone. And the ankle bone's connected to the ..."

"With friends like these, who needs enemas ?"


Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 06:46 PM

Micca,
Stay away from tea kettles and protruding furniture. We need you healthy to take care of Miss Phiddle. I'm sorry I missed your call. We'll talk soon.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Guy Wolff
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 04:11 PM

A very great mandolin player told me this delight of a limerick years ago and it is one of my very faverites. Its the rythum of the thing that hit me. I like the surprise ending as well

There was a preacher of Kings
       Who preached of heavenly things
But his secret desire ,
       Was a boy in the chior,
With a bum like jelly on springs

Blue skys and all the best
Love Guy

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Hollowfox
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 03:41 PM

Darn the time zone difference and all, I just signed on and saw this. well, the pre-op-@!#$-reduction candle will get lit in about five hours, the op and post op candles will be standing by for their turns. It's *very* cold here today, so tonight will be a good evening for such things.

And now for a musical morgue joke:

It was 3:00 AM when an orderly had to go into the morgue. He heard a faint sound coming from one of the holding drawers, so he opened it to see a cadaver laying face-down with a cotton ball in the butt crack. He removed the cotton only to hear a thin, high, reedy voice warbling "Moon River, wider than a mile..." Hastily replacing the cotton and shutting the drawer, he dashed out. Normally, morgue duty didn't bother him, but this did. After some thought he went back in, opened the drawer, and bravely ignoring the faint sound,he copied down the name of the doctor formerly in charge of the deceased. He then called the doctor at home, saying that there was an emergency requiring his attention. After a while the VID (Very Important Doctor) arrived, and went with the orderly down to the morgue. All was as it had been, the rone cadaver, the cotton, the irritating little voice...at thich point the doctor rounded on the orderly and roared, "You mean that you called me out of my warm bed to come down here at 4:00 in the morning to hear some asshole sing Moon River?!?!?"

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 03:09 PM

Oops ! "Lots" (and lots of drugs).

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 03:08 PM

Goodness gracious. I just get back on the Cat and everyone is getting sliced, diced, even broken... best wishes and los of drugs. Chin up, eh ?

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Pistachio
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 03:02 PM

Good wishes for a steady recovery.
Hazel in Beverley.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: rumanci
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 02:50 PM

Micca ---- please transport some love and hugs to Cats from me (and you can have some too *bg*)
rum xx

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Micca
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 02:47 PM

Well, Khatt is tucked up in the Hospital and preparing for her Op tomorrow, she asked me to thank you all for your continuing good wishes and thoughts, as I do also, Micca

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: MudGuard
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 01:01 PM

Ok, so I won't visit you in hospital when I come to London in 17 days ...
But I might visit you at home ...

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 12:30 PM

Andy...Im hoping to be home on Friday but it depends on how I am and how my asthma reacts to the drugs again.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: sian, west wales
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 11:58 AM

OK - a couple hot off ... my cousin, actually:

An gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

       *******************************************************

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the
hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out
of her hospital gown."


Micca ... don't even think about it ... !

siân

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: MudGuard
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 11:45 AM

Best wishes! How long will you be in the hospital?

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 11:09 AM

We're praying for you and pulling for you to have a GREAT experience, Khatt.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 10:57 AM

Thank you Black Walnut for those wonderful images and memories!

Well I have just had a call from the hospital I am to go in at 6pm today and I will be on Silvertown ward of Newham General....although I could be moved so Micca will keep you all posted!

Thank you for all the support, wonderful jokes and images.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: black walnut
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 10:49 AM

Oh, what a horror, PHiddle! I just finished sending hugs to Liz and then came across this thread of yours. My my my my my. I have great memories of you walking with me, and my girlchild. WALK again, my dear cat, very very soon. Across the ocean I send you visions of horses and castles and coffeeshops and Virgin record aisles and clothes stores and stuffy undergrounds and eating sandwiches on the sidewalk and eating Liz' trifle!

Many hugs,

~b.w.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Gillie
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 10:31 AM

Good luck {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kat}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Gillie

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Jan 05 - 09:39 AM

Legoland Windsor

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: jacqui.c
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 09:25 PM

Best of luck my love - we'll be thinking of you.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 07:08 PM

All the best Cats, maybe invite a few local catters in for a session using the bed pans (empty of course) as bodhrans and the pee bottles filled to different levels as a glockenpeel.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Bassic
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 05:41 PM

Best wishes XX

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: My guru always said
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 05:37 PM

Positive thoughts Khatt Dear, will be thinking of you,
Hil

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 03:20 PM

All the very best Cats.

Luv

Rhiannon

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 12:14 PM

ooo I like presnts!! Hopefully Morti will be bringing your xmas presents back with her!...better late than never!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Essex Girl
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 08:39 AM

Hope all goes well Cat, hope you're not laid up for too long
Linda

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 07:33 AM

Lots of light and love flowing your way, dear Khatt!

When I can think of some jokes, I'll send them along!

Love,

Allison

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: GUEST,KingBrilliant
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 07:30 AM

Will be thinking of you catsP. Best wishes for a quick and comfortable recovery.


Kris

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: pixieofdoom
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 06:18 AM

Best of luck Khatt. We'll be thinking of you and will come and visit if possible. Will bring chocolate and possibly even your Christmas present!

lots of love
Fiona xx

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: GUEST,Partridge
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 05:45 AM

Best of Luck Cat, will be thinking of you.

Pat x

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: freda underhill
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 08:54 PM

Good luck Cat. Cant be good getting snap crackle n popped. I hope it goes well for you

freda

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Leadfingers
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 08:01 PM

I did promise a joke Cats - try this one !!

   All the young recruits were standing in line , naked for the M O to check them out !! Lad reaches front of line and Doc says " Good Lord ! I think you must be the best endowed young soldier i have ever seen !!" Recruit stammers " Thank you Sir "
    Doc then says "Just as a matter of interest , how big is it when it's erect?"
    Recruit stammers a bit more and says " Sorry sir , I dont know!"
    Doc says "You Dont Know ?? You mean you've never had an erection at your age?"
    Recruit replies " Well there's only enough blood for one of us , and when HE comes up , I Black Out!"

    Be Good and do what the nurses say!! Sometimes they DO know what they are talking about !

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 06:50 PM

I can't tell a joke, Miss Phiddle. Sorry. But I will think of you and light a candle for a quick recovery. Tell Micca to stop calling when I am in the shower. I get to the phone, cold, wet and soapy, and there's nothing but a message!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 04:27 PM

She ain't kidding - I lost 6lbs there last time I stayed, and that was only for 24hours!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 04:19 PM

mmmm spicey! Micca, Liz the Squeak, Manitas, Limpit, Col K and I have just got back from an excellent Indian meal.....Im eating as much as I can before Tuesday because the hospital food is crap....anyone that comes to see me...please bring food!!!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Áine
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 02:00 PM

Here's hoping that everything goes well next week (for both of you!). Take care of each other - healing thoughts will be eminating (sp?) from Texas and coming your way (watch out, they tend to be very spicy!) ;-)

Love to you both, Áine

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 01:34 PM

I'm useless at jokes so I'll just wish you well soon!
love from us all
Jane and Geoff
xx

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Cobble
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 01:07 PM

Good luck from us two, love and light on it's way.

                   Cobble and Mrs C.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 12:44 PM

Donuel:

Talk about a weighty matter!!What are you trying to say??

A

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 12:31 PM

These jokes are excellent...they have really cheered me up.

I have bought my new pj's and night shirt for the hospital...just need to get a pair of slippers and I will be ready for Tuesday...well as ready as I will ever be!

Karen....Micca and I will be at the Getaway this year (I have already booked time off work!). We are postponing our honeymoon until October so we can have our honeymoon in the USA at the Getaway...what better way to celebrate than with friends and music and song!?!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Kaleea
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 01:17 AM

cat-
Best of luck to you! & now for a true--but not scary--hospital anecdote. I recently visited a friend who was in the hospital. I took with me the toy versions of Dr. "Bones" McCoy's Star Trek medical tricorder & examining equipment. Then I went there, sat & waited. Sure enough, the Dr. & a couple residents came around to examine her. Just as they were finishing, I pulled out my medical "equipment" and began to examine her. They were all about to fall on the floor laughing as I informed them that I concurred with their diagnosis. Then the lady in the next bed called out "Well, do me too!" The Dr. had a fine time borrowing my medical tools to examine her, then proceeded to show it off to the staff. Let me know if your Dr. needs any help with the diagnosis!
    Healing energies from all 'catters will be enveloping you next week!   
            Kaleea

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 09:06 PM

http://img9.exs.cx/img9/6039/fatcat6uy.jpg

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Joybell
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 06:55 PM

Best wishes, Khatt, Thinking of you. Love and Cheers, Joy

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: GUEST,Cretinous Yahoo
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 06:35 PM

An elderly couple sat through two showings of a porn movie. When the lights came on, the usher said to the woman, "You must have liked that film" she said "It was disgusting." he said "Then why did you sit through two showings"? she said "We had to wait for the lights to come on, we couldn't find my knickers, and his teeth were in them."

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: lady penelope
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 05:33 PM

So we're back to bath chairs on hyperdrive huh?   Lots of hugs

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Cat}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

And give us a yell if you need anything......

A man is lying on his death bed, just whiling away the moments till he dies. Suddenly he can smell fresh cookie dough baking. It smells just like his favourites - double choc chip. "How thoughtful" thinks the man, "My wife is trying to ease my way by baking me my favourite cookies, what a wonderful woman".

And with that, he decides that he'll make one last effort to go and eat some cookies and tell his wife how much he loves her and to thank her for all the wonderful things she's done in their lives together.

He manages to totter a few steps to the bedroom door, but it's too much and sinks to the floor. "No matter" he thinks, "I will get there however I can, it will be worth it". So he grits his teeth and starts to crawl..........

Than man is now dragging himself across the floor, as his legs have completely given out, but the smell of those wonderous cookies drives him on. They have become his last challenge and he now refuses to give up. He makes it into the kitchen and spots the cookies sitting on a cooling rack, just at the edge of the table.

With one last super human effort he reaches up for his prize............

"Don't touch them!" says his wife "They're for the funeral!"


TTFN Lady P.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Raedwulf
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 04:20 PM

Well, since you asked...

Beer Vs. female part debate.

A beer is always wet. A female part needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot. A female part tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Female part.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold female part makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Female part does not.
Advantage: Draw.

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming female part, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Female part

24 beers come in a box. A female part is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Female part.

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Female part.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad.
If you come home smelling like female part, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Female part

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much female part and you will get poor.
Advantage: Draw

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a female part in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Female part

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells female part on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Female part

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.

Female part can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain God.
Advantage: Female part

If you think all day about the next female part you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic. Advantage: Female part

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of female part is more fun.
Advantage: Female part.

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a female part at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Draw

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a female part, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: beer.

The best female part you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Female part.

The worst female part you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad female part: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Draw

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red
Good female part: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: Female part.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Female part.

It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.
Advantage: Female part.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 04:05 PM

Thank you for your good thoughts.

Raedwulf....Im going into Newham General in Plasitow, I will know the ward on Tuesday and will post details then, if you are in the area pop in and say hi!

SRS....the bear will be coming with me

Keep the jokes coming!!

Love
Khatt

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: fat B****rd
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 03:32 PM

Good luck and I trust you'll be dancing soon.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Raedwulf
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 02:50 PM

Lead - when it comes to getting lower, you start with an inborn advantage! (And I'm not referring to the fact that you're a shortarse! :p ;-) )

Arthur Davidson of the Harley Davidson motorcycle corp. died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with god."

St. Peter took him to the throne room and introduced him to god. Arthur then asked god, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of women?" God said, "Ah, yes."

"Well", said Arthur, "professional designer to professional designer, you have some major design flaws in your invention.

First – there's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.

Second - it chatters constantly at high speeds.

Third - most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.

Fourth - the intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.

Lastly - the maintenance costs are outrageous."

God went to his celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and god read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed", God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers more men are riding my invention than yours!"

Amos - You've obviously never met Cat, or you wouldn't use the word "loverly" (sic) to describe any part of her.








She better'n dat! :)






Hugs 'n' best, dear. Which hurspittle? I may come down & bore the pants off you {Evil Grin}!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 02:17 PM

Hey, Cat, that little black bear that hopped into your Santa box would love to go to the hospital with you!

Take care, be patient, and get well soon!

Maggie (SRS)

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: MudGuard
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 02:08 PM

Good Luck!
Or, as we would say it in German: Hals- und Beinbruch! *)





























*) Hals- und Beinbruch:
Hals = neck
und = and
Bein = leg
bruch = break (fracture) **)




























**) the word "bruch" is in that case derived from the original Jewish word "baruch" which means "blessing"

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 01:46 PM

Oooohhh - that sounds PAINFUL! Get well soon. Sending pos vibes.

Blesséd be

Rhiannon

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: freda underhill
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 01:44 PM

hi Catsphiddle

i hope it goes well for you, and that the recovery time is okay. Allmy best wishes

freda

ps

A young girl had been suffering from severe headaches and had tests run by her doctor. The doctor said, "I'm sorry miss, but you have a massive brain tumor."

The girl started crying and said to her mom, "I'm only 15 years old. I don't want to die."

The doctor said, "Well this is modern medicine. There is an experimental technique for a brain transplant, but it's expensive and not covered by insurance."

The girl's mother said, "Don't worry, dear. How much does it cost?"

The doctor replied, "Well, a male brain is $1,000,000 and the female brain is $25,000."

The mom said, "No problem. But why is the male brain more expensive then the female brain?" The doctor replied, "Because the female brain is USED!"

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Polly Squeezebox
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 01:35 PM

Whilst you're in hospital watch out for the curry:

An indian was so happy because he felt certain he had won the lottery, when he checked it properly he found he had looked at the wrong week's ticket and had won nothing. He got so depressed he overdosed - injected himself with 100% curry powder. They did manage to resuscitate him - but he spent the next fortnight in hospital in a korma!

Hope everything goes well for you and you are soon out and recovered.
Love, light and laughter.

Polly

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: karen k
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 12:36 PM

I hope everything goes as planned. I'm sure it will. Relax and enjoy the justified loafing. Hello to Micca. Hope to see you at a Getaway sometine soon.

karen

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 12:31 PM

Murphy and O'Brian are sound asleep when the phone rings. Its the coroner asking them both to come down to the morgue and identify the body of their good friend Clancy.

They both go down and the coroner explains that Clancy was burned up in a fire and they need a close friend to identify the body. Murphy and O'Brian are taken in and see a blackened corpse lying on the table face up. They study the face but are unable to identify the body.

"Turn him over," says Murphy. "Yes," states O'Brian, "You must turn the body over." So the coroner rotates the body and places it face down on the platform. Immediately, Murphy and O'Brian take one look at the corpse's rear end and state emphatically, "Nope, thank the Lord, that is definitely not Clancy." They are quite elated.

So the coroner asks them how in the world they can tell for certain that the corpse is not Clancy? Murphy states simply that this body only has one arsehole, and everyone knows that Clancy has two. At this statement the coroner is quite baffled. "Two arseholes?" he asks, "Nobody has two arseholes."

Murphy and O'Brian say, "Why everyone in town knows that Clancy has two arseholes. Whenever the three of us are walking down the road, people all over town will say, 'There goes Clancy with them two arseholes."

I've always found death humor to be most appreciated in hospitals.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery, Khatt.

Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: freightdawg
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 12:23 PM

Break your leg??

Ouch.

Wishing you all the best.

Freightdawg

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Leadfingers
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 12:16 PM

My Lady Catherine (Already in the mood for tonights Medieval) At least you ought to be fit for Portaferry NEXT year - We will have a Glass Of The Dark Stuff for you any way !! All The best with the Op and IF I can think of a suitable off colour joke I will post it later ! I can get a lot lower than Sian , thats for sure !!

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 12:09 PM

Hope you kept you decorated walking stick from last time, or are walking sticks/elbow crutches 'handed'? A bed that goes up and down is no fun on your own is it?
Hope all goes swimmingly.
Giok (¦¬]>:::

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: MBSLynne
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 12:09 PM

Lol Sian!

I'll be thinking of you Khatt! Get better soon

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 12:04 PM

Dear Gawd, Phid!! What a strange adventure you and your loverly legs are having, eh? Just remember there are some things that should never be turned over to automatic devices, and "bed go up, bed go down" is surely one of them.

At least you will now be the proud possessor of a perfectly matched pair. Better let them know about this benefit in case they are too bunged up by the treatment to care why it was a good idea!! I have often found body parts get resentful if they are not properly communicated to about what is happening.

Why not get your phiddle delivered to the hospital and practice all day? It will guarantee you a private room!!

Much love,


Amos

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: sian, west wales
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 11:56 AM

It'll be over before you know it, and think of all that handfasting planning you can get done! (Do some hospitals have Internet access?)

So, if Micca's going to be printing stuff off I guess it's up to us to go forth and seek jokes ... Hmmmm. OK - this one got sent to me by a fairly senior civil servant yesterday afternoon, which goes to show that it ain't just us low-paid lowlifes that goof off at the end of the day:

On Saturday morning I got up early.

I put on my long johns. I dressed quietly. I got my lunch made, grabbed the dog and went to the garage to hook up the boat to the truck and down the driveway I went.

Coming out of the garage rain is pouring down; it is like a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph. Straightaway, I returned to the garage.

I came back into the house and turned the TV to the weather channel. I find it's going to be bad weather all day long, so I put the boat back in the garage, quietly undressed and slipped back into bed.

There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?"

*****************

I'll probably be able to do better by time you're in sick bay.

All the best

siân

Subject: RE: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: artbrooks
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 11:49 AM

Take care, and remember that your MudCat buddies are all cheering for you. "See" you soon.

Subject: BS: catsPHiddle going into Hospital
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 15 Jan 05 - 11:45 AM

Well the NHS must be trying to clear their waiting lists in London with Liz having surgery last week and me this coming week. The hospital phoned me and gave me a date for the operation to break and re-set my left leg (I had the right leg done last year) which they are going to do on Wednesday so I am being admitted on Tuesday.

Im getting quite nervous because I know what's going to happen and what the recovery is like. I don't know what's worse...not knowing or knowing. Oh well! I won't be able log on to mudcat for about a week but Micca can print the thread off and bring it in to cheer me up.....it gets VERY boring in hospital when the only thing to amuse you is the control to make the bed go up, bed go down!