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BS: How cold/hot IS it?

Peace 20 Jan 05 - 12:05 AM
frogprince 20 Jan 05 - 12:14 AM
Rustic Rebel 20 Jan 05 - 12:19 AM
mack/misophist 20 Jan 05 - 01:08 AM
Wolfgang 20 Jan 05 - 04:52 AM
gnu 20 Jan 05 - 05:52 AM
GUEST 20 Jan 05 - 06:26 AM
JennyO 20 Jan 05 - 07:34 AM
JennyO 20 Jan 05 - 07:38 AM
Donuel 20 Jan 05 - 07:39 AM
GUEST,sandra in sydney 20 Jan 05 - 08:17 AM
Crystal 20 Jan 05 - 08:22 AM
Bobert 20 Jan 05 - 08:25 AM
Big Mick 20 Jan 05 - 08:26 AM
number 6 20 Jan 05 - 08:51 AM
Bunnahabhain 20 Jan 05 - 09:04 AM
JennyO 20 Jan 05 - 09:10 AM
Bunnahabhain 20 Jan 05 - 09:46 AM
Crystal 20 Jan 05 - 10:01 AM
Metchosin 20 Jan 05 - 10:18 AM
GUEST 20 Jan 05 - 10:18 AM
Bunnahabhain 20 Jan 05 - 11:36 AM
gnu 20 Jan 05 - 12:06 PM
pdq 20 Jan 05 - 12:19 PM
Bill D 20 Jan 05 - 12:21 PM
GUEST,Art Thieme 20 Jan 05 - 01:21 PM
Megan L 20 Jan 05 - 01:23 PM
Big Mick 20 Jan 05 - 01:54 PM
Liz the Squeak 20 Jan 05 - 05:00 PM
Bill D 20 Jan 05 - 10:14 PM
Metchosin 20 Jan 05 - 10:47 PM
GUEST,Nipples Bill 21 Jan 05 - 12:31 AM
Peace 21 Jan 05 - 01:19 AM
Hrothgar 21 Jan 05 - 04:40 AM
sian, west wales 21 Jan 05 - 06:48 AM
Crystal 21 Jan 05 - 08:09 AM
Bunnahabhain 21 Jan 05 - 08:44 AM
JennyO 21 Jan 05 - 10:25 AM
Donuel 21 Jan 05 - 10:52 AM
Grab 21 Jan 05 - 11:04 AM
Bill D 21 Jan 05 - 12:31 PM
Bunnahabhain 21 Jan 05 - 12:58 PM
gnu 21 Jan 05 - 03:21 PM
Liz the Squeak 21 Jan 05 - 06:30 PM
Bill D 21 Jan 05 - 07:51 PM
kendall 21 Jan 05 - 10:22 PM
GUEST,ButterflyJulia 22 Jan 05 - 08:50 AM

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Subject: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Peace
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 12:05 AM

How do people describe temperatures, heat and cold where you are? Have you any expressions to share? The aforementioned or any other subject?

"It was so cold that . . .".

"It was so hot that . . .".

It was so windy that I saw a chicken lay the same egg twice.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: frogprince
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 12:14 AM

"So hot I saw a dog chasing a rabbit, and they were both walking" is a pretty old line, but years ago on a blistering day I thought I actually was seeing just that. Turned out the rabbit was in bad shape; I think the dog had managed to catch it, had mauled it almost to death, and was then playing with it by letting it "get away" a little at a time.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 12:19 AM

Colder that a witch's tit.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: mack/misophist
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 01:08 AM

For here it's damn cold. If it gets any colder, people will stop wearing shorts.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Wolfgang
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 04:52 AM

"The water is that cold" with accompanying 'that' by showing a small distance (about an inch) between thumb and index finger. Nearly exclusively used by males.

"cold as a sow"

Wolfgang


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 05:52 AM

Cold as a whore's heart. Cold/Hot as the hobs of hell - depending on which hob you are referring to. Yesterday morning I greeted people with, "Welcome to Hoth." (old sayings were new once, eh?).


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 06:26 AM

cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: JennyO
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 07:34 AM

or the tits off a bull


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: JennyO
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 07:38 AM

Things you find on the internet!

The Summer of 1976...it was so hot that the tennis balls at Wimbledon burst!


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 07:39 AM

Last week in DC it was about 70 F degrees.
In the backyard the spring bulbs were sprouting and some white lantern flowers bloomed.

Now it is about 19 F and we are bracing for a foot of snow and ice this weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: GUEST,sandra in sydney
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 08:17 AM

hot enough to melt tar!

My father grew up in the depression, in Five Dock an inner city working class suburb on Sydney harbour & if he & his mates were lucky enough to find a sheet of roofing iron in summer, they would use a jam tin lid to scrape tar off the road to caulk it & go 'sailing' in Hen & Chicken Bay.

One day they were circled by a shark, but even tho it scared them, it didn't stop them going in the water and they certainly didn't tell their parents.

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Crystal
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 08:22 AM

"cold enough to kill the brass monkeys" although around essex people generally just say its f%&^$£*g freezing!


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 08:25 AM

Cold as a pump handle...

Hot as a three dollar pistol...

Bobert


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Big Mick
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 08:26 AM

"cold as a well diggers ass in January" was one I often heard from the farmers.

Mick


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: number 6
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 08:51 AM

One expression that I've never forgotten:

'it's so hot today you can boil your hotdogs in the toilet'

sIx


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 09:04 AM

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey...

Has its origins in the British Navy, from when it was the largest in the world, and in wooden ships. The BALLS are cannon balls, and the MONKEY is a frame, used to hold a stack of them next to the cannon, ready for use. BRASS is used as it doesn't spark. Due to diffrent rates that the iron balls, and brass monkey contract as the temperature drops ( Brass > Iron ), when it got cold enough, the balls no longer fitted on the monkey, and fell off, so making it cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.
I believe it was first noticed in the Southern Ocean, and so may date to the first half of the 19th Ceentury.I'm rather uncertain about this though.

Honestly Crystal, I didn't think you knew unladylike language like that.....

Bunnahabhain


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: JennyO
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 09:10 AM

It was so hot, you could fry an egg on the pavement.

It was so hot, the fish had to wear sunscreen.

It was so hot, I saw a tree bending over to thank a dog.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 09:46 AM

Sorry, I forgot the point I was trying to make in my above post. cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey is a specific temprature.
I think about -10 to-15 C. If anyone knows better, or is prepared to google it , then correct me...


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Crystal
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 10:01 AM

"Honestly Crystal, I didn't think you knew unladylike language like that....."

moi? Unladylike?


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Metchosin
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 10:18 AM

I've heard "as cold as charity" which is weird I guess, unless you take into account it is sometimes done to deliberatly make the recipient feel like shit in order to provide the giver with a sense of superiority.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 10:18 AM

I have a related question. If the tempature is 0 degrees when I go to bed and when I get up its twice as cold, what would the tempature be?


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 11:36 AM

Guest, 10.18

From the time of your posting, I shall assume that you're European, or at least capable of understanding the celcius scale.

O degrees Celcius is actually 273.15 degrees kelvin, which is the only proper temperature scale.
Twice as cold could be interpreted as either twice, or half, the above temperature. Therefore....

273.15 * 2 = 546.3 K = 273.15 C

Or

273.15 / 2 = 136.58 K = -136.58 C

So either way, hope it doesn't happen, as you're not likley to be waking up


Bunnahbhain


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 12:06 PM

So cold... I saw two laywers going up the street and they both had their hands in their own pockets. Cold enough to frost your grandmother's preserves.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: pdq
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 12:19 PM

In Death Valley in the summer it is said to be 'hot enough to melt rocks'.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 12:21 PM

It was so cold last night that our snowman knocked on the door and asked if he could sleep on the couch.

then I found THIS one..*grin*
"It was so cold, I saw a bunch of Eskimos using Hillary Clinton for heat"


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 01:21 PM

These are all tried and true and you're welcome to them. I used all on stage for many years---to introduce and "lighten up" the serious folksongs that were my mission.

Remember that one use of tall tales was to use humor to deal with the hardships of the American frontier and nature in general. (ie. hot, cold, tsunami, too much rain, snow, earthquake -- whatever) These are ALL derived from old tall tales--mostly reduced within and by the oral traditional process to one liners so folks could make them fit our modern fast food society.


----------------------------------------------

It was so cold that the snakes froze. We drove 'em into the ground with a sledge hammer and used 'em for fence posts. In the spring, the fences thawed out---and crawled away. Let the cows out.

It was so hot and dry we had to put stamps on envelopes with safety pins.

So cold with so much snow that when it melted there was so much water we'd catch salmon in the basement mouse traps. Those fish grew fur to keep warm. We ate the meat and used the pelts for hats--just like Davy Crockett'd wear--with the tail hangin' down. Except that it was a fish tail. (And this is a fish tale.)

So hot the popcorn popped on the ear one year. Cows thought it was snow---and froze to death.

It wa so cold that the mercury jumped up and down in the thermometer just to keep warm!

I really like this one:
It was so cold that year that the first thawing days of spring were filled with the sounds of all the steam locomotive whistles that had frozen during that hard winter.

It was colder than a teacher's wit.--Utah Phillips

It was so cold you could freeze an egg on the sidewalk.--Utah Phillips

I went ice fishing and caught a hundred pounds of ice. Now, that's cold. (And my wife drowned trying to fry it up for breakfast.)

It was so cold we'd salt the rails and catch deer that got their tongues stuck when they tried to lick it off.

So cold I saw a man chipping his dog off a fire hydrant.


3 farmers died; One from Missouri, one from Kansas and one from Illinois. All of 'em were cremated. The Illinois farmer and the Missouri farmer burnt up real quick like. I looked inside the oven and the Kansas man was still sitting up inside there. HE said, "Ya know, two more weeks of this, and we won't have a crop this year."

It was so hot one day when I went fishing. I fell asleep and awoke to find I'd caught a fish but the water had evaporated and that fish was swimming around in his own sweat about a foot above the surface of the pond.

It was so hot that year that the water only had 58% humidity.

One hot windy day in Kansas, the wind quit---and everyone fell down.

It got so cold so quick one day that when the frogs all tried to jump into the water and the pond's surface froze, it caught 'em all. Must've been a thousand or two frog's legs sticking out of the ice. We took a lawn mower---and harvested 'em. Sold 'em to a French restaurant. Made a lot of money.


And, last of all:
It was so cold that the exhibitionists kept going up to people and describing themselves.

Art Thieme


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Megan L
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 01:23 PM

fegs Bruce me beuy yestereen hid wis sae cauld a polar bear cam tae ma door askin fur a gansey.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Big Mick
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 01:54 PM

And I shall be swiping some of those beauties for my gig this Friday night, Art. Great stuff!!

All the best,

Mick


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 05:00 PM

It's chapel hat pegs in here..... (specifically from a female point of view, although the viewing is done by the males).

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 10:14 PM

"... chapel hat pegs..."??? You got me on that one...you have little remarks over there that we colonists can't fathom.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Metchosin
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 10:47 PM

think nipples Bill.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: GUEST,Nipples Bill
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 12:31 AM

What?..... I do think!

Cheeky mare.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Peace
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 01:19 AM

I am thinking nipples--helping out my buddy Bill here. OK. Having thought about them of a few minutes, I'll put on me gansey and go on over to the ". . . lasts over four hours" thread.

Thanks for the tip(s).


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Hrothgar
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 04:40 AM

Cold enough to freeze the walls off a bark humpy ...

Cold enough to freeze the brass of a bald monkey ...


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: sian, west wales
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 06:48 AM

Some Canadian ones from the book, "Casselmania" (and if you like this thread, you should get some of Bill Casselman's books):

Snappin' cold. (ref: trees crackling in very cold weather)

It's colder than a witch's tit in a cast iron bra.

Cold as the icicle on a polar bear's dick.

It's drier than a popcorn fart. (Alberta: hot summer)

Hot as a June bride in a feather bed.

Hotter than the hub of Hades.


siân


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Crystal
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 08:09 AM

If it is too cold for my taste I have a habit of saying "itscolditscolditscold and we are all going to die!!!"


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 08:44 AM

Cold enough for wassail to seem a good idea...


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: JennyO
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 10:25 AM

Metchosin, my dad used to use that expression "as cold as charity" a lot of the time, particularly in reference how our dinner would be if we didn't hurry up and come to the table (my dad used to do most of the cooking). I always thought of it as that meaning of charity too.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 10:52 AM

I am begining to realize that it is not so much that record highs and lows are now the norm and not the exception. But rather that the repeated extreme temperature variations of 50 to 60 degrees F in a day or two are being seen in areas that had never seen this kind of phenomenon.
Last week 70. this week 14.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Grab
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 11:04 AM

Bunnahabhain, that's an urban legend - check Snopes for details.

My favourite, although I've never been to either place: "If I owned Texas and Hell, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas". General Sherman IIRC.

Graham.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 12:31 PM

chapel hat pegs....umm...so, I'm to assume that it's cold in the chapel? Ok.....still.....kinda oblique.

(but wouldn't using them as hat pegs cause warming and lots of hats on the floor?......ever the pragmatist, I am..)


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 12:58 PM

Thanks Grab. I'd got that one from a reputable source, so belived it.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 03:21 PM

We 'ad ta stoke 'er wit' alders jus' ta keep da frost off.

And the one I came up with an hour ago whilst out for groceries : SWEET GENTLE F*** ! THERE'S NO NEED FOR THIS ! (Must be minus a sh**load out there. And tomorrow is forecast colder and higher winds !)

My brother says he's loading the snowblower on a trailer and heading south until he finds a place where the locals are fascinated by it.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 06:30 PM

OK, semantics lesson.

Chapel hat pegs. Think large pegs made from dowel, attached to a board, for putting hats and coats on. They usually stick out quite a way, sometimes up to 5 inches.

Now think of what happens to nipples when they get cold....

Get the picture? This picture of a strange man might help.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 07:51 PM

oh, YES Liz....I did get it after the earlier explanation...*grin*...I was just showing my lack of familarity with CHAPELS...and musing obtusely about the laws of bio-physics. I still wonder why chapels enter the equation.

but, since EVERYTHING can be found with Google, I submit that it might just be possible.. ;>)
http://www.theborisbrothers.com/LongNipples/page1/indexp1A_r3_c14.jpg

http://www.theborisbrothers.com/LongNipples/Sample6.jpg


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: kendall
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 10:22 PM

My favorite, so cold I saw a chicken walking down the street with a capon. (Utah Phillips)

Cold enough to freeze two dry rags together.


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Subject: RE: BS: How cold/hot IS it?
From: GUEST,ButterflyJulia
Date: 22 Jan 05 - 08:50 AM

A guy I knew always used the same phrase:
Cold as a bastard
Hot as a bastard
Red as a bastard
Fast as a bastard
Pure as a bastard

Even if his vocabulary was limited, everybody always understood what he meant.


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