Lyr Req: Don't Upset the Little Kiddie-Winks

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T UPSET THE LITTLE KIDDIE-WINKS
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Feb 16 - 09:26 PM

DON'T UPSET THE LITTLE KIDDIE-WINKS
As sung by Paddy Roberts on "Strictly for Grown-Ups"

Spare the rod and spoil the child.—That's what Grandpa used to say,
And he'd tan our hides off if we even looked his way.
Other means are now employed,
Thanks to Schopenhauer and Freud.
Even though you hate them,
You must not frustrate them.

Don't upset the little kiddie-winks,
The little kiddie-winks
Of today.
You must never ever beat them.
The right way to treat them
Is let them go their own sweet way.

And don't upset the little layabouts.
Just let them play about
Scot-free.
Just put on their galoshes,
And hand them their coshes,
And keep them well away from me.

You must let each little monster
Do exactly as he wants ter,
Though you know he's going to take you for a chump.
You may treat each little treasure
To some psychiatric measure,
But you mustn't ever kick him up the rump.

And never strike the little popinjays,
Although to coin a phrase,
They stinks.
Don't scare the little baskets.
It's not much to ask; it's
The way that ev'ry modern teacher thinks.
Don't upset the little kiddie-winks.

Don't upset the little kiddie-winks,
The pretty kiddie-winks,
The little dears.
Though it seems the devil's got 'em,
One smack on the bottom
Might prejudice their whole careers.

Don't forget each bedtime story
Must be adequately gory,
For they claim we're all descended from the ape.
If you really want to please 'em,
No more witches on a besom.
Give them arson; give them murder; give them rape.

So if you find the curly-headed pets
Are buying cigarettes
And drinks,
Don't don't push 'em down the plug-'ole,
No clouts on the lug-'ole.
You must remain impassive as the sphinx,
And don't upset the little kiddie-winks.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Paddy Roberts: Kiddywinks etc.
From: GUEST,#
Date: 01 Feb 16 - 03:37 PM

John in Brisbane died in November of 2005.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Paddy Roberts: Kiddywinks etc.
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Feb 16 - 03:11 PM

Still waiting...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Paddy Roberts: Kiddiewinks etc.
From: John in Brisbane
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:53 AM

YEA! I found it, please give me a few days - I've got a lot on.

Regards, John

PS I have:

- Strictly For Grown-Ups
- Paddy Roberts Tries Again

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Paddy Roberts: Kiddiewinks etc.
From: John in Brisbane
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:37 AM

I have the words and dots for Paddy's songs in 2 volumes. I can't find them at this instant, so I'll need to search. From memory though this song is not in them. IF I find it then I guess that's a bonus.

Regards, John

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Paddy Roberts: Kiddiewinks etc.
From: alanabit
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 03:09 AM

Spare the rod and spoil the child
That's what GRandpa used to say
Thanks to Alder, Jung and Freud
Other means are now employed

I can recall those first lines. Maybe it will jolt the memories of other Mudcatters.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Paddy Roberts: Kiddiewinks etc.
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Feb 05 - 10:18 PM

Here's an ad for an album called Strictly for Grown-Ups / Paddy Roberts Tries Again. (It looks like two LPs reissued as one CD.) It contains DON'T UPSET THE LITTLE KIDDYWINKS (note spelling) and 25 other songs.

I found references to this song with other variant spellings: "kiddiwinks" and "kiddie winkies" – but no lyrics.

Subject: Lyr Req: Paddy Roberts: Kiddiewinks etc.
From: GUEST,screwtype
Date: 30 Jan 05 - 10:28 PM

Hi there people, I just came across this site when searching for the lyrics to an amusing old Paddy Roberts number entitled "Follow Me" (which I found in an old thread, thanks to the contributors :) ).

But there are still lyrics to some of those old Roberts songs I remember from my childhood that I'd like to get hold of. In particular, two songs I liked but can never remember the lyrics to. One was "Don't Upset the Little Kiddiewinks". Here are some of the lyrics I recall from that one:

You must let each little monster
Do exactly as he wants ta
Though its known we're all descended
From the apes
(forgotten the next two lines)
Give him arson, give him murder, give him rape!

And if you find the little layabouts
Are smoking cigarettes
And drinks
Don't push 'em down the plug'ole
One hit round the lug'ole
Might prejudice their whole career...

And don't upset the little kiddiewinks!

- The other song I don't recall the title of, but a few of the lyrics were:

Once there was an awful lot of nothing
Just nothing...

(forgotten a lot here)

White man red man yellow man black man
blah blah blah
Nobody knows what he's fighting for
Everybody's fighting for more and more
And more
And more
And more
What for?

Why don't they realize that
Once there was an awful lot of nothing
Just nothing

...etc