BS: Never....

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: JennyO
Date: 08 Mar 05 - 08:41 PM

Way back in this thread, Jim Tailor quoted the words of a song which I find myself singing every time I look in here. So I decided to post all the words:

"You Don't Mess Around With Jim"

(As recorded by Jim Croce)
JIM CROCE

Uptown got its hustlers
The bowery got its bums
Forty Second Street got Big Jim Walker
He a pool shootin' son of a gun
Yeah he big and dumb as a man can come
But he's stronger than a country hoss
And when the bad folks all get together at night
You know they all call Big Jim boss, just because

And they say you don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off an 'ole Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim

Well outa South Alabama come a country boy
He said I'm lookin' for a man named Jim
I am a pool shootin' boy, my name is Willie McCoy
But down home they call me Slim
Yeah I'm lookin' for the king of Forty Second Street
He drive an old drop-top Cadillac
And last week he took all my money, and it may sound funny
But I've come to get my money back
And everybody say Jack, ooh don't you know

That you don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off an 'ole Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim

Well a hush fell over the pool room
And Jimmy come boppin' in off the street
And when the cuttin' was done
The only part that wasn't bloody was the soles of
The big man's feet, woah
Yeah he were cut in 'bout a hundred places
And he was shot in a couple more
And you better believe they sung a different kind of story
When a Big Jim hit the floor, aw

Now they say you don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off an 'ole Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Slim

(Spoken)
Yeah Big Jim got his hat, find out where it's at
And it's not hustling people strange to you
Even if do got a two piece custom made pool cue...yea

Now they say you don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off an 'ole Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Slim.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Mar 05 - 10:55 AM

. . . pick up your cat for a quick cuddle if you're all dressed up to go someplace. (You'll never get that white hair off of those black slacks and sweater!)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Padre
Date: 08 Mar 05 - 12:16 AM

Order grits in New Jersey

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Don Firth
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 04:42 PM

. . . squat with your spurs on.

. . . zip up your fly without first making sure everything is properly stowed.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 04:18 PM

Never believe everything you see written here.
Use your own intuition and make sure you get it right!
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 03:06 PM

Never put a tube of either contact cement or hemmoroid cream in the area where you normally keep your toothpaste. Especially if you may not have your glasses on in the morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 02:35 PM

If you're mixing cake batter with an electic hand mixer, and the cord comes unplugged from the mixer and the tip falls into the batter, don't take it out and lick it off without unplugging it from the wall first.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Layah
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 01:53 PM

Never set a piece of cake down near a knife that had recently been used to chop garlic.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 16 Feb 05 - 01:31 PM

forget to add your name when posting as a guest.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 15 Feb 05 - 05:04 PM

Never take off your shirt before playing your accordion.

Never clear spit from a penny whistle by blowing hard into the mouthpiece. You will floor every dog in a one mile radius.

Never upset the person who cooks your food.

DT

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 15 Feb 05 - 03:42 PM

......try to bathe a cat.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Gurney
Date: 15 Feb 05 - 02:11 AM

Try to dry damp chili powder in a microwave, unless you have a deathwish.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 11:35 PM

Use an internet page as your default page.

Create your own little html and keep it on your computer. It'll save you scads of time.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 09:41 AM

Let your dingle dangle in the dirt,
Always keep your dingle,
wrapped up in your shirt.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Snuffy
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 09:13 AM

Trust a man with a beard..... who shaves

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: skipy
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 08:41 AM

Never reset your oddometer through spokes of your steering wheel while leaving a garage forecourt (filling station) if you are turning a corner!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 06:47 AM

Stand up in canoe to look over the weir to see if you can shoot it.

I did this on the river Donnau in Bavaria,only thing I achieved was an early bath.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Crystal
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 05:23 AM

Never drink Root Beer. It is FOUL!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 05:18 AM

Never think out loud without thinking more quietly first.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 03:57 AM

side note on tapioca: even though I hated it, a friend talked me into trying a "tapioca soda" in a Chinese convenience store in San Francisco. It's a sort of soft drink that comes with a very fat straw, and you suck fat tapioca balls up through the straw. Oh my lord! My friend was laughing at my faces! Somehow, I drank half of it, and then felt most queasy!

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Peace
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 09:22 PM

Good with "Tuong Ot Toi Vietnam" sauce also.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 09:20 PM

Whassa problem with tapioca? Put enough habanero pepper sauce on it and it ain't half bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 09:00 PM

Never put ice in a hot thermos, unless you want to experiment with spectacularly breaking (exploding?) glass.

agree with you about tapioca, Liz, but not about library paste!

teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Peace
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 08:54 PM

Never smack your weewee with a hammer just to see if it hurts.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 08:29 PM

It isn't a question of trust; it's a question of dietary preferences.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 08:25 PM

Never trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:23 PM

And just what is wrong with library paste?

Ever eaten tapioca?

Library paste is best grade chocolate compared with tapioca.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Scooby Doo
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 08:27 AM

I think you should go back to school and do your basic maths Sttaw Legend.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Sttaw Legend
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 06:15 AM

Sorry Gaia this is 100

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Scooby Doo
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 06:13 AM

100

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Skipy
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 05:53 AM

Never stand on stool on a settee! to put up xmas decks,
Never never ever do this if you are a 70 year old female, alone in your house with the doors locked!!
My mother in law did!
Result - broken hip - JR Hospital - several week living down stairs at our house - monthS with walking sticks - TRUE!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:33 AM

That one was meant for you Teresa. Most people go to song writer's clubs for a pat on the back only.

There's a blind gal at PASA (Philadelphia Area Songwriter's Alliance) and she always comes up with some comment that the others have missed and it's obvious that she actually listened to the song. Which is a bugger when you've done something wrong *GRIN*

Aha! Lady Jean, Slivovice is a SIPPIN' drink. And grits at Eunice's in Huntsville Alabama are really good. And I know a lot of the words of ball of Kerriemuir so don't trust me either. And I've never tasted library paste.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Peace
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:29 AM

"....fart in a pair of pantyhose."

The above remark was posted by Susu's Husband. I do NOT want to know.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: LadyJean
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:17 AM

Three Nevers I learned before I was 21

Never eat grits that have been cooked in a restaurant. (Mom made grits and they were sublime. Restaurang grits taste like library paste.)
Never shotgun slivovitz.
Never trust a man who knows all the words to the ball of Kerriemuir

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:50 PM

....fart in a pair of pantyhose.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Teresa
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:41 PM

Hahahaha, Bert: "Never join a songwriter's club that has a blind member. 'Cos they actually LISTEN to your songs"

I resemble that remark. :):)

Don't have a brainstorm while you are cooking and leave the house for a couple hours, or you'll be lucky it doesn't burn down!

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:21 PM

Never take a long soaking bath to ease your aching back and then when you are toweling off decide that now is a good time to apply Ben Gay. You might find yourself furiously funneling cold water at great speed onto your suddenly blistered back.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Chris Green
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 08:57 PM

...hit your mother with a shovel. It leaves a dull impression on her mind. (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, 1969)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Cluin
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 08:45 PM

Never get drunk in the afternoon if you have to play that night. There's no "sleeping it off" in time.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 07:16 PM

Go to Pueblo Colorado. Their only industry is the jail and court system. THEY'LL GET YA.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bert
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 07:11 PM

Never join a songwriter's club that has a blind member. 'Cos they actually LISTEN to your songs

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,OOOOOOOH!
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 04:08 AM

Never push your piles back in after slicing green chillies!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:30 PM

never try to understand the tangled web of relationships round here.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:11 PM

Nice work if you can get it!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Layah
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 12:05 PM

Never buy a bra before obvious marks have faded. (For those of you who don't know, most fancy bra shops the clerks help you make sure the bra fits right)

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 10:17 AM

never get told off for leaving obvious marks. Revenge in kind tends to result...

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Crystal
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:43 AM

never leave obvious marks.
I'll leave it up to your warped imiginations as to what and where this applies!

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Rachel Wasbest
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:18 AM

Count me in.

When do we start.

Wots the password.

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 09:13 AM

Rachel - either.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Never....
From: GUEST,Rachel Wasbest
Date: 03 Feb 05 - 01:48 AM

Firkyfronttoodling or firkybacktoodling?