Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads

Subject: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: KathWestra
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 01:09 PM

My friend Ann Schunior in the Boston area pointed out in an e-mail yesterday that now that science has proven you can, indeed, die of a broken heart, we may need to rewrite some of the old ballads like Barbara Allen to reflect the new scientific evidence. Her specific suggestion was to replace the old-fashioned rose and briar ending with Barbara's case being written up in Lancet or the Journal of Cardiology or some such thing. Just an amusing thought--and challenge--on a snowy Maine day....

Jeri, this one somehow brought your songwriting talents to mind. And anyone else
Cheers,
Kathy

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 02:02 PM

Now Barbry's funeral walked long and slow,
And WIlliam's hearse-horse prancéd
Her heart-break made the cover of Time
And his, front page of Lancet

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: KathWestra
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:54 PM

Yeah, like that! Thanks Amos. Anybody else???
K.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Genie
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:33 AM

Oh, well, I refuse to obsess over getting this 'poifect', so here goes nuttin':   §;-D

BARBIE ALLEN
(Woids by Genie; Tune: Whatever)

In L A town where I was born,
There was a hot chick dwellin'
Who did aerobics every day,
Her name was Barbie Allen.

All in the merry month of May,
When young men iron were pumpin'
Well, Barbie's agent to Ken did say,
"Young man, your ass I'm dumpin'."

He sent an email to her then,
To the condo where she dwelt in,
"You must come be my S. O, babe,
Come save me, Barbie Allen.

So slowly, she came up to him,
Said, "You look ghastly ... sorta."
Young Ken, well, he could only say,
"You've mangled me aorta!"

He turned his face unto the wall
For strength had drained his muscles.
"Adieu, kind friends, this bitch's scorn
Hath drained all my corpuscles."

As she was walking thru Bel Air,
She heard the sirens yellin',
And ev'ry scream did seem to say,
"His pericardium's swelling!"

When he was coded, all in vain,
And stretched out on a gurney,
The docs could only scratch their heads:
"Testosterone's launched this journey."

"Perhaps depression launched his heart
On final voyage embarking,
Inflaming microscopic parts,
Causing a strong infarcting."

Sweet Ken was pickled in a mason jar
For Doctor Barbies to ponder
And writ up in the Journal AMA,
His corpse dissected asunder.

If there be moral, here's the rub;
Of truth here is the kernel
Of broken heart ye may die young
Yet live in Lancet's journal.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 01:43 AM

Oh, I thought you meant

Broken       'Heart Ballads'...

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Bert
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 01:46 AM

prancéd
Lancet

Wahaaay! I LOVE it.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 01:46 AM

Wow!!Genie, that's a keeper!!

A

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Teresa
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 01:53 AM

Can I sing that at science-fiction folk gatherings, Genie? I have no intention of recording anything any time in the foreseeable future. :)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Genie
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 01:54 AM

T'anks, Amos! :-D Glad ya liked it!

Now I wanna hear the rest o' YOURN!   LOL

Genie

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Genie
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 02:05 AM

Teresa, be my guest! Just make sure you split the royalties with me, OK? I WANT my penny! LOL

Genie

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: KathWestra
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 10:18 PM

Huzzah Genie! Love it!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 12:22 AM

Now the problem with using Barbara Allen for this topic is that the vast majority of the known cases are postmenopausal women. Or maybe that means you've got to get more creative about it...?

~ B in T

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Genie
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 02:56 AM

Quote (Desert Dancer): "Now the problem with using Barbara Allen for this topic is that the vast majority of the known cases are postmenopausal women."

'Splain, please. I seem to be missing something.

Genie

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: KathWestra
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 05:21 PM

Hey, DD, contrary to all you see on TV, wich likes to portray love as only for the young, there's plenty of true lovin' (and heartbreakin') goes on in the postmenopausal set! For all we know, Barbara Allen and William might as easily have been fifty-somethings. I don't recall any of the numerous versions of the ballad that I've heard mentioning their ages...

And as for Genie's splendid rewrite, I still say huzzah! Exactly what I had in mind (though I couldn't have begun to do such a great job myself, which is why I started this thread). Thanks again, Genie!
Kathy

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 07:17 PM

"There was a fair maid dwellin' ".   

Fair = beautiful

Maid = young girl   Often taken to mean a virgin.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 07:46 PM

Yeah, well, I'd be the first to agree that the young have no monopoly on love or heartbreak, but as Uncle Dave says, there are things about the song that suggest these are young people, another being the involvement of the parents...

Actually, what first brought the detail in the science story to my mind was the emphasis on William's heartbreak, even more than Barbara's. There are certainly plenty of other women in folk song who die of broken hearts upon which to devise your parodies! :-)

~ Becky in Tucson

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 08:01 PM

He sent his servant to the town
To her own father's dwelling.

How many 50-somethings still live with mom & pop?

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Genie
Date: 15 Feb 05 - 03:21 AM

C'mon, youse guys! Enough wit da analyzashun of da song and its demographic/generashunal implicashuns. Rite us sum more SONG virgin... er... verzhuns! :-)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 17 Feb 05 - 04:48 PM

Yeah, it wasn't my intent to kill the concept entirely!

~ B in T
(at a creative loss, or I'd have a better contribution to the thread than this...)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Broken Heart Ballads
From: GUEST,Sonja W. Oates
Date: 20 Feb 05 - 04:59 PM

Still seeing if I can find it in my cardiac muscle to attack this one myself. ;)

Dancer, it's not too late, you know. LOL