BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S

Subject: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: gnu
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:57 PM

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'

---

My camp is located about ten kilometers past the last power/telephone pole. So, I put a doorbell button on it. You'd be amazed at how many people push it.

What hair I have left is as short as it can be cut without a razor. So, I keep a blow dryer and a couple of hair brushes on the washroom vanity. You'd be amazed at how many people laugh and then turn red when they come out of the washroom and see my serious, inquiring stare.

When I'm up country wearing my wide brimmed felt hat, I attach a long tuft of pine moss to the rear of the hat. You'd be amazed how many people try to pick it off as a favour, whilst I try to look to see what they're doing.

How's by you ?

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Jeanie
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 02:48 PM

Odd and wry par excellence, Gnu ! How about this one: Next Christmas, send cards to people you know, but sign them something like: "All the best from Connie, Malcolm and the boys" - Sit back and imagine your friends trying to work out who these people are, and worrying well into the New Year that they can't send a card in return. Better still, concoct a spoof version of one of those deadly "family news" circular letters to include in the cards as well: ludicrous but still just about believable (not difficult, because those letters are a naturally ludicrous mix of over-the-top boasting of (grand)-children's prowess and/or lurid medical detail). Have fun !

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: NH Dave
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 04:14 PM

A local person has one of those old all-in-one computers like the TRS-80/4 mounted above his rural mail box, with the caption, "E-Mail".

    Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Peace
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 04:24 PM

Years ago after--actually during--a period of wassail, some of us thought it would be hillarious to send a telegram to a friend in Idaho. The telegram read, "Please ignore first telegram." He was a football player, 6'4" and very HUGE. Of course, we had sent no 'first' telegram. Months later we heard that he was looking for us. Seems he'd driven about fifty miles through a snowstorm looking for the first message and we understand he became quite insistent that there had to be one. So insistent in fact that the telegraph office people threatened to phone the police and have him removed from the premises. We phoned him to explain. Cost us five cases of beer to avoid hospitalization. Cheap at half the price, IMO. We remain good friends to this day. It's funny now; it wasn't then.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Peace
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 04:29 PM

Well, that's not quite right. It had us in stitches when we sent it, then it became very unfunny, then it became funny again. Next time I do something like that it won't be a telegram to a middle linebacker.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Bert
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 04:50 PM

Ma-in-law's doorbell stopped working. There was some fault in the very old wiring hiddem in the wall somewhere. It wasn't worth fixing so we got a wireless one. The most central place to put the unit was on top of a kitchen cabinet.

One day Mama complained that it had stopped working, so Tree went to get the unit to check if the battery was dead. It wasn't there, so she asked Mama, "where is that white box that was on top of the kitchen cabinet?" Mama said "It's in the garage, I tidied it away". So Tree sent her to fetch it.

"Hold it" she said and went to the front door and rang the bell. Mama nearly dropped the unit. It was working fine.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Teresa
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 05:38 PM

I love gag stuff. I love to have gags pulled on me, too.

Subtle ones are my favorite. I like to have those clocks that run counter-clockwise and the numbers arranged backward. Sometimes I ask people what time it is, and I hear a weird note in their voice, and they'll say, "Something's weird about that clock, but it keeps good time. I can't put my finger on it; what's going on with it?"

Heeheeheehee!

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Peace
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 05:53 PM

I once bonded a 'phone to the cradle in which it rested--and still does. It was done with primer and PVC cement. It was in a business office. Many years ago. Funny to watch people answer that telephone.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: frogprince
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 10:54 PM

Something simple I saw done years ago in a restaurant, and have meant to do ever since: You have to have a set of the common basic glass salt and pepper shakers with tin screw-on caps:
Take off both caps; take enough out of each shaker so the contents just reach past the edge of the lid; press wads of napkin on top of the contents; on top of those, put salt in the pepper shaker and pepper in the salt shaker; put the lids back on. The victim can plainly see what is in the shaker, but that isn't what comes out.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Teresa
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 11:53 PM

My friend told me about putting the hooks on bathroom-stall dors upside-down. there is no way you can hang a coat on it that way.

He also told me about ways to get back at a nasty landlord. Put a bit of epoxy on the end of the new lightbulb the next time you change it.

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 02:34 AM

In one office we had several pairs of adjoining desks with 2 line telephones on each desk. If things got slow, you just waited until the occupants of both desks walked away, then swapped the handsets over. When they came back, you just rang ONE of the two numbers - it was possible for each phone to pick up both lines you see.... A step above doing the same trick with 2 ordinary phones...

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: jonm
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 03:20 AM

I believe it was Conan Doyle who sent ten friends an unsigned telegram which read "All is discovered - fly at once!"

By the end of the following day, six had left the country.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 04:34 AM

When I worked in a fishing tackle shop we used to put an empty cardboard box on the counter, this was an open invitation to the shop cat to climb in, we then closed the lid and waited for unsuspecting nosey customers to have a peek, and get a lacerated hand from annoyed pussy, great fun.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 04:43 AM

Putting cling-film over a toilet and then putting the seat down causes some embarrassing moments, so I have been told

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST,ragdall
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 06:47 AM

Many years ago, some friends and I participated in an event, wearing clown costumes. Instead of carrying a cluster of balloons, I had inflated (new) pastel coloured condoms. These became lovely big "balloons", which I offered to passers by. They were greatly admired by the ladies until someone told them what they were.

A word of caution, should you ever decide to try this, a "balloon" that size can almost blow your head off, if it explodes while being inflated.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST,freda
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 07:23 AM

we had a barbeque after work one day, years ago. The next morning I wrote a minute to the guy who organised it, supposedly from the boss (copying his signature). The minute said that some people had been hospitalised with food poisoning after the barbie, and asked whether the right OH&S & health procedures had been followed. Where was the meat bought? had the barbeque been washed down every 20 minutes according to health regulations? (no such reg exosted of course) we sent it through the internal mail. everyone was watching as he opened it. He read it, flushed crimson with anger, and raced up stairs to have a go at the boss, who knew nothing about it, shaking with anger with the letter in his hand!

a few drinks were required to placate him afterwards.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST,Jeanie
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 07:44 AM

I know someone who entertained himself working in a Building Society office by having bets with a work colleague as to who could fit the sentence: "I reckon the ducks will fly tonight" into conversations with customers the most times each day, without the customers questioning it. Most of the time, the customers would even agree, "Oh, yes !"

Tricks often used to be played on office juniors. A common one was to leave a note on a new secretary's desk at lunchtime: "Mr.C.Lyon of Lyon & Partners rang. Please call him back urgently at 2 p.m. on 678542." On returning the call, this would turn out to be the phone number of London Zoo. There were lots more like this, and also spoof errands that office juniors were sent on. I wonder if this still happens - or have workplaces become so serious and so fearful that these tricks could be misconstrued as harrassment, so people are less likely to risk it ?

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST,freda
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 07:53 AM

i think the harassment issue has nipped a lot of fun in the bud, and the maniacal pace of work, & tyrranical enviroment in some workplaces these days.

another one from years ago.. a couple of colleagues had added their friend's name to the mailing list of the Sydney Colonic Irrigation society. we were at work one day when the newsletter arrived in the mail and he pulled it out (the newsletter, i hasten to add). As he opened it, his mates fell apart with laughter, but he wasnt at all amused. I was aslo opening my mail, and out came a list of training courses, including one on Evacuation Procedures. I asked him if he was interested, and he didnt speak to me for some weeks!

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST,Jeanie
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 08:07 AM

Freda, that reminds me of a trick I played on my dad when I was about 7 or so. I filled in a form from the 'Radio Times' requesting a brochure for "Crown Topper Toupees and Wigs" (dad was 'folically challenged'). The brochure arrived through the post....joke apparently over - but unfortunately, a couple of days later, a salesman turned up at the house with a case full of samples for dad to try. Poor man. He'd arrived on foot, a long way from railway station or bus. My dad said he bet the salesman thought his luck was in when he opened the door to him. He had to apologize profusely that it had only been a trick - poor salesman said it often happened. There had been no mention on the form about salesmen calling - but that was the end of my trick form-filling career.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 08:58 AM

Whenever a colleague had to fill in a job title on some form he used to put down things like 'Chief Procrastinator' or 'Morphic Resonator' - never the same thing twice. No one every queried anything, but it was interesting to track where the addresses for junk mail came from.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 11:50 AM

Ya know how some people, when walking past a house, will glance in the front room window? I took a picture of the house from directly out front, blew it up to a very large size, framed it and hung it on the wall opposite that window. You'd be amazed how many people do a second take, even stop and stare with a puzzled look for a few seconds.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 11:47 PM

I was at a friend's house one day....the TV was on right beside us, interfering with converstation, so he reached over to turn it off. It just happened that the remote control was right on the chair arm under my left arm.....so I slid my right hand under my left arm and turned it back on..(took about 3 seconds)....

He looked puzzled, and leaned over and pushed the 'off' button again...and about 2 seconds later I pushed the 'off' button on the remote...I think it took 4 times before he looked at me and said.."ok, give it here!"

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Peace
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 11:51 PM

I once switched eggs in my ex's lunch: uncooked for hard boiled. The gal she ate with thought it was funny when she cracked one on the edge of her desk.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 05:12 AM

A guy I once knew took great delight on leaning over the shop counter on miserable wet days and saying, sotto voce, to the female customers "tickle your arse with a feather". When, with shocked looks, they said pardon, he said in louder voice "particularly nasty weather". If any of them ever got it, they never let on.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: gnu
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 06:48 AM

On that note, I knew a surveyer from Port-aux-Basques, Newfoundland who would greet with, "Whot ya got in yer mout', me old cock?" It was the wry smile combined with the quizzical "Did ya get that" look that made it even more funny. Similarly, and in the same town, I was watching a German fellow about seventy-five years old hand-finish a Portland cement concrete sidewalk that was fourteen feet wide. He was truly an artist and it was a joy to watch him make a very difficult job look so easy. I asked him if he'd been a finisher all his life. He replied, in broken English and with a heavy accent, "Not just trowel. Brick, block, carpenter, tin... I jack off all trade." Same smile.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 08:04 AM

Mingulay, the late and lamented Alan Bond did a whole monlogue on 'tickle your bum with a feather' except his cover was 'typical Birmingham weather'. Does anybody have a copy of Alan's monologue?

Elfcall

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 11:15 AM

Thanks for that Elfcall, sounds good. Love to hear it. The one I heard
was in Estuary English.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 12:31 PM

My mate used to work as a car park attendant, and it was fairly boring by all accounts, so he used to superglue 50p coins to the pavement by his hut and laugh at anyone trying to pick them up. A homeless guy had the last laugh though - after spending 10 minutes trying to prise it from the cement, he walked off, came back with a crow bar, and chiselled it up. My mate figured if he was that keen to get the money, he deserved it.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 04:21 PM

After our brief but nasty little snowstorm yesterday, today was a mix of a half dozen fluffy flurries followed by cloud and the odd bit of sun. It warmed up this afternoon but, before noon, three short flurries left less than an inch of fluffy snow in the driveway. I live one house away from an intersection that gets a fair amount of traffic because it's a shortcut between two major streets. Traffic at the corner was kinda slow by times because a lot of drivers did a double take and slowed down considerable when they saw me cleaning the driveway with a lawnmower. Large clouds of white dust! The neighbours enjoyed it as well. Garge told me I was "pushing the season" a bit too much. Gotta get me a Hawaiian t-shirt and shorts and straw hat for such occasions. That'd be pushing the season!

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 04:44 PM

LOL! That is funny, gnu! I wonder if I dare....hmmmmm.....(if the snow is cold & fluffy, I might try it--that 32° stuff is too slushy.)

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 05:06 PM

That's the kind of thing I started the thread for.. not necessarily practical jokes, unless they are original and creative. Just subtle stuff... teasers. As for practical jokes, I've played a few.... I lived in residence at UNB for five years and NEVER had my room "hit" and, moreover, NEVER got caught hitting anyone else. But those types of things are not what I intended in this thread. What I intended is... My buddy has a doorbell plate which is a cow's face and the button is the nose. When you press the nose, the loudest low you ever heard sounds... followed by bull snorts and hoof scuffing, then charging hooves, which stop when the door is opened. It's hilarious.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 05:29 PM

A door bell on the pole, hilarious. We've thought of hanging a maple sap bucket on ours.

My Uncle Ben was the bomb. Oh, all the brothers were rapscallions, but he was the best. On the left side of the white-painted door leading out of the summer-cabin living room, into the big screened dogtrot/porch, he put a big, black, cast iron door handle. It doesn't open a thing-- it's on the hinge side of the door, and there is an unobtrusive (white of course) real doorknob on the right side! He'd sit in his chair by the stove and wait for victims!

In his spirit, I have a huge end-table lamp between our recliners with a suitably large shade. I like to comment that the room is dark and why don't we put some lights on-- but that one has no wiring, and the lamp shade is held up with a cardboard tube from a pants-hanger that is stick down the wiring hole. It's funny not only that people try the lamp, but that they KEEP fumbling to find the switch even after they look under the shade.

Hardi's brother had his younger sibs, each in turn, terrorized. "Don't you come in my room! The floor is electrified and I'll git you!" He even had a big dummied-up power switch by his bed. Over the years, each brother would enjoy seeing the next younger one fall victim to this, and it would usually work for several years with each one, before they caught on and dared to try the floor.

But then the whole family is sick and twisted. Oh yeah-- the string they tied to the neighbor's house, and then played like a fiddle string-- each time the upsatirs lights went out, BOINNNNNGGGGG>>>>>..... the lights would all come on, the family would rush about trying to find out what that creepy sound was, and then as soon as they settle down again.....

Well anyone can see why I had to marry into this group!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 05:32 PM

"...cast iron door handle." Ooooo. Good one!

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: jacqui.c
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 05:34 PM

Many years ago I worked in a pub frequented by a group of Scottish guys. One in particular considered himself to be a real stud.

A friend and I send him a little thin rubber finger stall with the legend 'From the London Rubber Company. Made to your measurements'. He always wondered who had sent him a condom through the poat so I don't think he ever tried using it, or maybe he did and it fitted!

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 08:26 PM

Al Franken pulled a good one recently. He was about to give a speech to a large crowd. There was a sign-language interpreter off to one side. He started by acknowledging the interpreter with some remark: "You do great work. Thanks for coming." or something like that. Then he turned back toward the audience and began his speech as follows: (I'm paraphrasing here.)

"You know, this guy Franken is such an idiot, I'm not going to bother translating what he's saying. I know it will just be a big bore. I talked to him backstage, and he really is an airhead.…"

The audience was silent at first, puzzled, no doubt, and then ripples of laughter began to spread as people figured out that he was playing a joke on the interpreter, who had to translate everything he said!

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 08:42 PM

PERFECTION!!! I almost spilt my milk!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: gnu
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 07:23 AM

Rule No. 1 : Don't piss off Mother Nature.

Apparently, she did not cotton to my scoffing at her with the lawnmower yesterday.

I recall, while half asleep at some point in the middle of the night, hearing a large truck and thinking, "Odd that the salt truck would be out."

Upon waking, I heard the drone of a snowblower and thought, "Odd that someone would wait two days to clean up after the storm."

Wrong and wrong. What was really odd is that there was enough snow last night to warrant the plow filling in the end of my driveway. And Mother Nature didn't call Environment Canada so they could issue a forecast. What a tease.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: gnu
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 03:49 PM

I was in Deer Lake, Newfoundland, Canada, supervising an addition to the Passenger Terminal Building many years ago. There was a Crash-Fire-Rescue (CFR) guy who used to visit the Maintenance Crew lunch room at morning break every now and then and and crack the lads up with his stories and banter. One day, when break was almost over, we heard the door at the end of the maintenance garage slam shut, then someone running across the garage, then running up the steps to the door of the lunchroom. Buddy got in the lunchroom, almost out of breath, looked at the Airport Manager and asked, "Ye got aids?!" The AM, with a look of disbelief and wonderment on his face replied, emphatically, "NOOOO!!" Says buddy, "AH, you're the asshole I been lookin for!"

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST,marks
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 04:37 PM

Some years ago I was working for a company with the HQ in Germany. They had cause to send a service rep to repair some machinery, but the guy they sent spoke limited English, just enough to get around.
So he walks into the customers plant and asks some machine operators how to find the boss.
These guys direct him to the office and tell him to ask as loud as he could, "Where is the bald headed chicken f***er?"
True story!

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Nancy King
Date: 03 Mar 05 - 09:42 PM

My family has owned a summer cabin in Maine for many years. In each of the bedrooms there was -- and still is -- an ample supply of wire clothes hangers. Sometime in the early 1960s, when my brother was a teenager, he carefully unwound one of the wire hangers, linked it with another, identical one, and re-wound it again, so the two couldn't be separated. He did a really good job of it, too -- you couldn't see anything amiss. Every year, when we arrived at the beginning of the summer, one of us would get caught by it. I think he probably moved it around to various bedrooms, and it got us every time. We'd reach for a hanger, get two, and try to separate them, ending up yanking at them and still having no success. A simple thing, but oddly effective...

Nancy

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 04 Mar 05 - 01:14 PM

I had just started working for a car rental company in Moncton a number of years back, and it was a day or so before a long weekend that had all of our cars booked out. It was brought to my attention that we had overbooked for the weekend, and as the junior guy I had to call up each of the people who had reserved vehicles to double check if they definitely wanted the car.... When I called for one of the ladies, Myra Maines, I definitely got a curt response from the person who answered the phone at the other end.... at one of the local funeral homes.

Brian

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Mar 05 - 07:50 AM

I've posted this before, but I think it belongs here.

A friend of mine was performing that lysdexic tairy fale, "Rindecella", to a group of elderly people, when he noticed that a woman was standing out the front facing the audience and trying to sign the words.

She had a very puzzled look on her face as she kept looking between him and the audience. They were looking very puzzled too. It turned out that a large proportion of the people in the audience were deaf.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Splott Man
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 08:40 AM

Wild goose chases are still about.

When a new lad starts at our place, they send him down to the lab for a bucket of Carbon Dioxide.

When I first went to scout camp I was sent looking for some sky hooks. Another one was spring-loaded guy tighteners with interlocking heads. You just get sent from persn to person all day cos you're the only one not in on the joke.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: gnu
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 09:01 AM

What do mean you can't find any square o-ring seals? Keep looking.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Crystal
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 09:28 AM

>When a new lad starts at our place, they send him down to the lab for a bucket of Carbon Dioxide<

This dosn't work in our lab, we use lots of dry ice!

A popular trick is to pour it down the sink and turn the tap on! White smoke pouring out od the overflow hole looks fantastic.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: HuwG
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 10:14 AM

There are plenty of work-related ones I remember. There was the water cooler which had a hazard sticker, with the legend "Caution. Dihydrogen monoxide. Fatal if inhaled". It was rumoured that two successive managers had ordered it to be moved somewhere safer.

I worked with a hardware engineer with an insane sense of humour. His favourite trick was to enter a room with an empty cup and pretend to trip and lob it in the direction of someone. They would invariably leap up, thinking they were about to be scalded. Working at a customer site one day, I received a garbled telephone call about a software failure at another site. I rang my office for details, and the joker picked it up. "Gary, I've just had a call about a software error at ... Hospital. What is it ?" "It's a big building full of sick people, but that's not important right now". Click.

An April Fool which my father told me about. Somebody at University rang the Police and said, "There are two students painting the front of the Town Hall". The Police came rushing, to find two art students with easels and canvas on the pavement on the other side of the road.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 12:45 PM

Just remembered one from my childhood:

My family visited my uncle, (Dad's brother) when television was fairly new, and uncle had a nice set, which my brother & I loved. Evening came, and it was decided we would all go out to dinner at a restaurant. We boys were whining..."Aw...we don't wanta go yet...this program isn't over..."

My uncle, without pause, started ushering us to the door, all the while explaining.."Oh, don't worry, you can finish the program later...there's something wrong with this TV--when you turn it off, the signal jams and gets caught somewhere in the wiring, and when you turn it back on, it continues from where it was. Why we're about 4 months behind right now!...." and so on, as we got in the car.
   I think we were a mile down the road before our questions and the adult's inability to keep their faces straight gave away the joke. Fortunately, Uncle Ralph was enough fun that we forgave him.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: GUEST,Nancy King at work
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 04:26 PM

Bill, I'm not sure why, but that reminds me of an elderly cleaning woman my mother had when I was a kid. Keep in mind this was WAY before remote control devices. She used to scold my brother: "Don't you change the channels so fast like that! You'll flip the picture right off the reel!" She wasn't kidding, either.

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 04:42 PM

Someone emailed me a very funny video file depicting what old folks do for fun. It's a man and a woman, out for a country drive. She's riding shotgun while he drives.

We see her pick up an object lying between them on the beanch seat, and examine it just slightly out of our sight. Then she gives an "Oh! OK!" look, picks it up, and now we can see it's a steering wheel. Now she's happily steering from the passenger seat.

Another car pulls up alongside, on her side. We see her look at him, he looks at her, this goes on for a few moments. He's surprised to see her steering. He looks back at her once more and suddenly, BAM! She jerks her steering wheel in his direction with a horribly mean look.

Of course, he swerves in reflex. She drives off, she and her husband cackling merrily, while the other fella runs almost off the road in a spin.

Of course I didn't laugh myself.

:~) Well not too much anyway.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Teasers; Odd Jokes; Wry Humour; Silly S
From: gnu
Date: 07 Mar 05 - 05:06 PM

Now that's a first!!! I just extinguished my smoke with tears of laughter. Thanks you guys.