BS: The Altoid Army!

Subject: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 03:49 PM

This thread is in counterpoint to the wimpy-assed "PEZ Club" thread. PEZ is for babies! Real people do Altoids! Altoids don't come in cutesy little plastic dispensers shaped like cartoon characters! They come in real metal cans! (Though some serious addicts dispose of the little cans and dump cartons of 'em into old ammo boxes.)

Imagine this: You're a lawyer, and a client has just entered your office. After initial introductions you want to make a gesture to make the client feel at ease. Twenty years ago, you would've offered him a cigarette, but that's no longer politically correct. So, do you offer the client a PEZ? What do you think that millionaire client is going to think when you pull a plastic Tweety-Bird from the pocket of your Brooks Brothers' suit and push the little button so that his head tilts back and spits out a little dinky wannabe mint while you smile and say "PEZ?" He's probably going to think you lack the maturity to represent him. But, when you pull an ammo box full of assorted flavors of Altoids out of your desk drawer and offer him a handful he's going to think, "This is a guy who does thing in a big way! I think I'll go for that two-million-dollar retainer deal!"

Altoids! Not only are they "curiously strong", but after you've been eating them for a few years you get "seriously weird".

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: Wesley S
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 03:52 PM

I agree - and on a long drive you can stay awake by chewing up 3 or 4 at the same time really quick. Wow !

By the way - the original flavor is still the best. The other flavors are just crass commercialism.

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 03:56 PM

Which I can only suspect is a deep confession on BWL's part...his ranchito in Floribama is littered with old WW II ammo boxes but no-one has ever dared ask why. Mebbe for fear of finding out. Anyway, them's the facts, ma'am.

Whew -- by the handful those Altoids are more powerful that double hot chile verde!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: robomatic
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 04:07 PM

I like the ginger altoids but I'm not a high power legal beagle so I'll retain my Homer Simpson Pez-o-matic.

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: gnu
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 04:24 PM

More powerful than this chili?

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 04:34 PM

The people on the Altoid commercials are really scary. Especially that lady. She has a dead look in her eyes, and an incredibly creepy smile (if you can really call that a smile). Very Stepford, but much more evil looking. Like a Stepfordized Nurse Ratchet. I get cold shivers just thinking about it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: open mike
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 01:01 AM

wintergreen

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 04:16 AM

Firey Jack ?

eric

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: John Hardly
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 07:14 AM

the real Altoid story

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: jeffp
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 08:40 AM

The tins are really handy for holding picks and stuff so they don't wind up all over your guitar case. My pick compartments never seem to close properly. Also, my capo fits in the box too, so I can grab everything at once.

Jeff

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 11:11 AM

Altoids are for wimps...

Fisherman's Friends! That's a real lozenge!

http://www.stuartalexander.com.au/brands/fisherman/

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: Cheap Tracks
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 07:37 PM

I haven't seen Ginger Altoids - sounds wicked! I'll have to look for those.

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: John Hardly
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 07:42 PM

Isn't that the vocal register just below soprano? .. or at least like it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: Cheap Tracks
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 09:25 PM

"Isn't that the vocal register just below soprano? .. or at least like it?"

Only took about an hour for that one to register - trying to figure out what Ginger had to do with Soprano.

DOH! (probably shouldn't have admitted my slow wit)

Clever ...

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 26 Mar 05 - 09:41 AM

"Go have a suck on a Fisherman's Friend" - great song by Bernard Wrigley. "If it's alright with sailors it's alright with me"! Priceless!
S:0)

Subject: RE: BS: The Altoid Army!
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Mar 05 - 10:29 AM

Is there an intersection between the Altoid Army and the Folk Song Army?