Lyr Req/Add: I Should Like to Be a Policeman

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Should Like to Be a Policeman
From:
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 09:01 PM

Thanks to everyone who took the time to help me out and save my sanity!!! At last, I can perform the song after all this time!!!
THANKS again!!! ANDY BROWN

Subject: Lyr Add: I SHOULD LIKE TO BE A POLICEMAN (Bodleian
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Apr 05 - 09:21 AM

From Bodleian Library Broadside Ballads, Johnson Ballads 1878.

I SHOULD LIKE TO BE A POLICEMAN
[Manchester/Leeds, "between 1855 and 1858."]

Some folks may talk about a trade
And the joys that from it spring, sir,
And after you my words have weighed,
You'll say it's no such thing, sir.
Though at me you may jeer and laugh,
My joys think to decrease, man,
But I mean to say (and I do not chaff),
I should like to be a policeman.

CHORUS: Taking up and knocking down,
Your noise and bother cease, man,
O won't I come it jolly brown
When I'm a new policeman!

Of the boys I'd be the terror, mind.
The fruit stalls too, I'd fell 'em,
And disturbances of every kind,
I with my staff would quell 'em.
A "charge" would be as good as pelf.
My pleasures 'twould increase, man,
For I'll make the "charges" up myself
When I'm a new policeman.

To the kitchen maids like wax I'd stick,
And though I'm not a glutton,
(The thought on't makes me my chops lick.)
Oh, I likes a bit of mutton.
When in my toggery I'm arrayed,
From me there's no release, man.
The boldest of men would be afraid,
If I was a new policeman.

A drunken man's a chance I'd hail.
It would my ear delight, sir.
To search him well I would not fail,
For right is naught to might, sir.
I'd turn his pockets inside out
And quickly would him flay, man,
And who would dare to harbour doubt,
Against a new policeman?

The cracksmen too should tip to me
Or else I soon would "lag" 'em,
But if they did, I should not see,
That is, I should not "stag" 'em,
And if amusement I should lack,
Though I'm one that likes the peace, man,
A pate or two I'd surely crack.
I should like to be a policeman.

The prospect does me much delight.
I mount on wings of joy, sir.
It does to wealth and fame invite
And pleasure without alloy, sir.
When I'm established in the force,
I'll have a bob apiece, man,
From lushy swells, or I'll lock 'em up.
I should like to be a policeman.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: New Policemen
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 11:24 PM

That would be your man. For a Manchester broadside edition of the 1850s, see  Bodleian Library Broadside Ballads:

I should like to be a policeman

The corrupt "new policeman" (frequently characterised, particularly in the USA, as a venal Irishman) was a standing joke through most of the 19th century. The broadside song quoted earlier (not really related to the subject of this thread, but made on the same lines) is, I think, an Americanisation of an English music hall piece. Copies also at Bodleian.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: New Policemen
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 10:59 PM

I see the tracklist of "Jiig" includes a song called I SHOULD LIKE TO BE A POLICEMAN. Is that the one we're looking for?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: New Policemen
From: Anglo
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 04:51 PM

I KNEW I'd heard it more recently! It was recorded by Ian Robb (of Ottawa) with his new group Jiig (That's James, Ian, Ian & Greg; not a typo). Their CD is available here.

The tune was written by Brian Pearson to an old set of lyrics, and it was originally recorded on Waterloo-Peterloo (Argo LP) by the Critics Group.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: New Policemen
From:
Date: 03 Apr 05 - 11:59 PM

THAT'S It!!! THAT'S THE ONE!!! Do you by any chance have access to the words or can you point me in the right direction? You're a genius Anglo! Thanks!!!

Subject: RE: HELP with a song New Policemen PLEEASE!!!!
From: Anglo
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 11:58 PM

The one I remember was, I think, on a Critics Group LP, The chorus went something like:

Taking up and knocking down,
Your noise and bother cease, man,
Oh won't I cut it [come it?] jolly brown
When I am a new policeman.

It looks like it scans the same as the Irish version posted above, but the verses were different.

Subject: RE: HELP with a song New Policemen PLEEASE!!!!
From:
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 08:08 PM

Thanks for that wysiwig! It's not the version I know but, does have a vague memory of my version. There's a certain similarity in the words! What I'll do is check up on how to write the ABC music notation and stick the melody on the forum soon and maybe someone can point me in the right direction! Thanks again for your time! ANDY

Subject: RE: HELP with a song New Policemen PLEEASE!!!!
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 05:42 PM

There are a number of these songs, mostly 19th c., and the "New Policeman" posted by WYSIWYG is one of them (printed by De Masran about 1870, a copy in American Memory).
Haven't found the lines quoted either.

Subject: RE: HELP with a song New Policemen PLEEASE!!!!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 04:47 PM

Yes, but at least the title is right if someone searches it later-- keeping songs of the same title in one thread is a good thing.

~S~

Subject: RE: HELP with a song New Policemen PLEEASE!!!!
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 04:44 PM

One problem: the song posted above does not contain the lines that Andy quoted - not even close.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE NEW POLICEMAN
From: wysiwyg
Date: 31 Mar 05 - 11:09 PM

THE NEW POLICEMAN
Melody - "Nora Creina"
From American Songs and Ballads, Series 3, Volume 3.

Oh good evening gentlemen to-day,
Now list awhile to me and my blarney;
I am arrived from Dublin quay,
Now sure my name is Michael Karney.
Grub was scarce and luck was bad,
Hunger's rumbling ne'er did cease man,
So to this city I came egad,
And Murphy's made me a new Policeman.

Refrain:
Ranting rollicking Irish joys,
Always quarrelling ne'er at peace man,
Kissing the girls and licking the boys;
Oh that's the life of a new Policeman.

2. Och there isn't yard or garden wall,
About the city but I can scale it,
And if any thing I find at all,
Now shouldn't I fool be not to nail it.
Next morning there's a hue and cry,
There's something stolen and to be brief man,
Oh by the hookey who but I,
Am running about to catch the thief man.

3. And then you know when I'm out at night,
In every hole and corner peeping;
What's that I spy by the pale moonlight?
Och! by my soul 'tis a gentleman sleeping.
His pockets I grope and his money I take,
And then with my staff in the ribs I'm jobbing him.
And if by chance the man should wake,
I tell him I thought a thief was robbing him.

4. Then if there isn't [a] row in the street,
Sure it's myself knows how to raise one,
For I knock the first man down I meet,
Then make a shindy fit to craze one.
He resists, then loud he hollers,
I lock him and swear he's rioty;
Next morning he is fined two dollars,
Just because myself couldn't murder him quietly.

5. I'm in with every servant maid,
For mutton and love I've ever an itching,
And of being caught I'm not afraid,
For sure I'm there to guard the kitchen.
And then, too, don't the scriptures say,
Multiply too, and increase men,
So if we only have our way;
We'll fill the city with little policemen.

SH
http://www.musicanet.org/robokopp/usa/ohgoodev.htm

Subject: RE: HELP with a song PLEEEEEASE!!!!
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 31 Mar 05 - 09:15 PM

Nope, not yet.

Subject: RE: HELP with a song PLEEEEEASE!!!!
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 31 Mar 05 - 09:13 PM

New Policeman

It may already be in Mudcat.

Subject: HELP with a song PLEEEEEASE!!!!
From:
Date: 31 Mar 05 - 09:02 PM

Hi there! I'm andy and I've been looking for the lyrics of a song I heard GAWD, must be 20 years ago!!! I think it was called A New Policeman and I think it was English! I can remember a few lyrics...

'The thought it doe me much delight,
I mounts on wings of joy, sir.
It does to wealth and fame invite
and pleasure without alloy, sir.'

Thereafter, my old brain gives up! I'd LOVE to sing it again so any help would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks folks! ANDY