Lyr Req: The Scrotum Song (Asylum Street Spankers)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Scrotum Song (Asylum Street Spankers)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 07:47 AM

YouTube has videos of three different performances of THE SCROTUM SONG by the Asylum Street Spankers. Each one has a verse or two that is different.

This one was made in a radio studio.

This one is from a concert in Portland, (Oregon or Maine?).

This one is from a concert in New York City.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Cool Beans
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 01:18 PM

Thanks, all, for the many laughs.
Here's a G-rated version of the same tune you can sing to your kids:

Matches, matches, M-A-T-C-H-E-S.
Matches, matches, M-A-T-C-H-E-S.
You can strike 'em on wood,
You can strike 'em on glass.
I knew a guy who could strike 'em on his foot.
Matches, matches, M-A-T-C-H-E-S.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 11:41 AM

Good job, Tink!!

Subject: Lyr Add: ONE HOUR MAMA (Ida Cox)
From: Tinker
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 11:30 AM

Ida Cox
One Hour Mama
blues lyrics

I've always heard that haste makes waste
So I believe in takin' my time
The highest mountain can't be raced
It's something you must slowly climb
I want a slow and easy man
He needn't ever take the lead
Cause I work on that long-time plan
And I ain't a-lookin' for no speed
I'm a one hour mama
So no one minute papa
Ain't the kind of man for me
Set your alarm clock papa
One hour, that's proper
Then love me like I like to be
I don't want no lame excuses
'Bout my lovin' bein' so good
That you couldn't wait no longer
Now I hope I'm understood
I'm a one hour mama
So no one minute papa
Ain't the kind of man for me
I can't stand no greenhorn lover
Like a rookie goin' to war
With a load of big artillery
But don't know what it's for
He's got to bring me a reference
With a great long pedigree
And must prove he's got endurance
Or he don't mean that to me
I don't like no crowin' rooster
What just kicks a lick or two
Action is the only booster
Of just what my man can do
I don't want no imitation
My requirements ain't no joke
Cause I've got pure indignation
For a guy what's lost his stroke
I'm a one hour mama
So no one minute papa
Ain't the kind of man for me
Set your alarm clock papa
One hour, that's proper
Then love me like I like to be
I may want love for one hour
Then decide to make it two
Takes an hour before I get started
Maybe three 'fore I'm through
I'm a one hour mama
So no one minute papa
Ain't the kind of man for me

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 11:11 AM

Enter, stage left, the butler, Scrotum. (Wrinkled old family retainer...)

Cheers

DtG

Subject: Lyr Add: I AIN'T YOUR HEN, MR. FLY ROOSTER
From: Tinker
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 10:58 AM

Okay I found one so I guess I answered my own question. I've got a few more to add to my list of questionable songs...


I AIN'T YOUR HEN, MR. FLY ROOSTER
Words and music by Andy Razaf
As recorded by Martha Copeland, 1928

Cat, keep away from my shack.
Cat, don't you ever come back.
Never no hug, and never no kiss,
Furthermore remember this:

I ain't your hen, mister fly rooster,
So don't crow in my back yard.
Here's one chicken you ain't pickin'.
The day you try you'll find it hard.
When you hear me cackle, don't you stop and scratch,
'Cause you're countin' chickens that will never hatch.
I ain't your hen, mister fly rooster,
So don't crow in my back yard.

I ain't your hen, mister fly, fly rooster,
So don't crow in my back yard.
Here's one chicken you ain't pickin'.
The day you try you'll find it hard.
You and I ain't never gonna come to terms.
Find some other chicken; I don't need your worms.
I ain't your hen, mister fly, fly rooster,
So don't crow in my back yard.

- solo -

I ain't your hen, mister fly old rooster,
So don't crow in my back yard.
Here's one chicken you ain't pickin'.
The day you try you'll find it hard.
Found a sweet young rooster and he makes me proud.
When you see him round me, don't you crow too loud.
I ain't your hen, mister fly old rooster,
So don't crow in my back yard,
So don't crow in my back yard.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Tinker
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 10:53 AM

NOw I have to get this CD. Are all the "verses" stand on your own songs? There are two in there that I've sung. Hot Nuts and If it don't fit. Lil Johnson does those ( the second recorded as Barrel House Annie) Does anyone recognize the others???

tinker

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Peace
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 10:24 AM

Guy saw a German Shepherd licking its own. He said, "Gee, I wish I could do that." His friend said, "Well, you can, but ya have to pet him first."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Stewie
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 03:04 AM

I read somewhere a parody of an Elizabethan play wherein one of the characters was listed as: 'Scrotum: a wrinkled old retainer'.

--Stewie.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 10:38 PM

My dawg says it's so much better if you can lick your own!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Severn
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 10:10 PM

No, those are BULLOCKS, and my two favorites in that category, Sondra & Anna Mae (a.k.a./ Tina Turner), have no balls at all!

Severn

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 09:09 PM

Here's a pair for you to view . . . .

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Severn
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 08:27 PM

We tend to form mental bollocks about this kind of thing.

Severn


"Be the first one on your bollock......."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Pete_Standing
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 08:17 PM

What a load of bollocks.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Severn
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 05:34 PM

Kat! That's actually for real! That beats Big Bill Broonzy's "monkey gland" reference in "When I've Been Drinking" and the "Spay Your Pet" song written for Doris Day's charity that The Lynn Morris band includes in their live shows.

Balls To Your Partner,
Arse Against The Wall.....


Hitler, He Only Had One Ball.....


Time to bring out all the hits!
Severn


All Hail Testacles, the Greek God of Fertility!!!(I'm tired of Popsicles, the Greek God of Winter and am ready for Spring!)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 10:27 AM

Nuts, all of you.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 10:21 AM

LOL...just singlular, Hrothgar?

Thanks, Peter.

Homeless, thanks for posting the entire lyrics!

Severn, how about one about folks who have fake ones implanted in their pets which have been *ahem* neutered?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Hrothgar
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 06:56 AM

Could have a ball singing this song.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Severn
Date: 03 Apr 05 - 05:05 PM

How 'bout a scrotum transplant song?

"Papa's Got A Brand New Bag (Parts 1&2)-James Brown & His Famous Flames

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Homeless
Date: 03 Apr 05 - 02:52 PM

You could go to their website, www.asylumstreetspankers.com
and get one of the albums it appears on.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Peter T.
Date: 03 Apr 05 - 01:22 PM

(not me, Allan Sherman). yours, Peter T.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE SCROTUM SONG (Asylum Street Spankers)
From: Homeless
Date: 03 Apr 05 - 01:06 PM

I ain't your hen Mr. fly rooster
So don't you crow in my back yard
Here's one chicken that you ain't pickin'
The day you try you'll find it's hard
Well you and I ain't never gonna come to terms
So find some other chicken I don't want your worm
I ain't your hen Mr. fly rooster
Don't you crow in my back yard

Scrotum, scrotum
It's my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin
Scrotum, scrotum
It's the thing I keep my testes in.
Well it's wrinkly and crinkly and covered in hair
And I don't know what I would do if it was not there.
Scrotum, scrotum
It's my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin

Nuts, hot nuts.
Get 'em from the peanut man.
Nuts, hot nuts.
Better get 'em while you can.
Well they say your nuts are mighty small
But it's better to have small nuts than no nuts at all
Nuts, hot nuts.
Get them from the peanut man.

If it don't fit don't force it
'Cause you'll make your mama mad
If it don't fit don't force it
You'll only get it bad
Well it may stretch it may not tear at all
But you'll never back that big mule up in my stall
If it don't fit don't force it
'Cause you'll make your mama mad

Well I've got a pussy cat yes I do
Man it sure is fine
Pussy, pussy, pussy cat I love you
You're my favorite feline
Bathing my pussy is so much fun
'Cause all I gotta do is use my tongue
Pussy gonna jump all around the room
And always land on top

I'm a one hour mama so no one minute papa
Ain't the kind of man for me
Set your alarm clock papa, one hour that's proper
And love me like I like to be.
I may say I want an hour, then it turns into two
Takes one to get started maybe three 'fore I'm thru
I'm a one hour mama so no one minute papa
Ain't the kind of man for me

Scrotum, scrotum
It's my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin
Scrotum, scrotum
It's the thing I keep my testes in.
Well it's wrinkly and crinkly and covered in hair
And I don't know what I would do if it was not there.
Scrotum, scrotum
It's my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: paddymac
Date: 03 Apr 05 - 06:06 AM

Brucie - thanks for the link. like a walk down memory lane. LMAOAROTF

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Apr 05 - 10:33 PM

Brill, as ever, PeterT!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Peter T.
Date: 02 Apr 05 - 06:21 PM

Skin is what you feel at home in, and without it furthermore, both your liver and abdomen, would keep falling on the floor (nothing can match it when you scratch it.....)

The B side to the single, obviously....

yours,

Peter T.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Peace
Date: 02 Apr 05 - 12:03 PM

http://www.immortalia.com/html/categorized-by-song/scrotum.htm

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: GUEST,Hootenanny
Date: 02 Apr 05 - 08:54 AM

A slight variant on the above is given in "Bawdy Ballads" by Ed Cray.
My copy was published by Anthony Blond & Co in London in 1979 but I am pretty certain that it has been re published and is still in print, an excellent book for those not easily offended, highly recommended
I guess this is the same Ed Cray that wrote most recent and excellent book on Woody Guthrie.

Hoot

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: GUEST,joseacsilva
Date: 02 Apr 05 - 07:56 AM

Thanks Brucie.I´m sorry if some of you got offended with my request.I play more folk ,country and blues , and sometimes I search for songs with funny and hummorous lyrics.I don´t criticize it, ´cause don´t think I´ll be the one with final word.Maybe I woudn´t have courage to sing it myself, but as someone have said it´s art yet, and we should be more open-minded ´bout that.
    Joe

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Apr 05 - 06:39 AM

There is Good Art, and Bad Art - and then there's just Art!

Where are you Art? - haven't seen you in Mudchat for ages!

Remember, some people's taste is all in their mouths!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Joe Offer
Date: 02 Apr 05 - 02:14 AM

It may be bad taste, but it's art. It's a thin line, Martin - a very thin line....

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 10:20 PM

I don't have the balls to sing it, but it sure hangs well as a song.

Chanteyranger

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Peace
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 08:40 PM

Scrotum, scrotum
It's my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin
Scrotum, scrotum
It's the thing I keep my testis in.

Well it's wrinkly, crinkly covered in hair
And I don't know what I would do if it was not there.
Scrotum, scrotum
It's my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 07:33 PM

I bow to your obviously greater experience, Martin!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 06:34 PM

That wasn't vitriol, that was funny! I laffed, Martin!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: PoppaGator
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 05:43 PM

The tune is "Jada, Jada," an old trad-jazz standard ~ perhaps better know to some as "Howdja, howdja, howdja like to bite my ass?"

The militantly-all-acoustic Asylum Street Spankers are not to be missed, if you ever have a chance to see 'em live.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: radriano
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 05:24 PM

Martin,

You might seriously think of some therapy. You seem very troubled judging from the vitriolic comments from you on a number of threads.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 05:05 PM

Is that where your Johns pick you up MG?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: Once Famous
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 05:02 PM

And I've been accused of bad taste?

This place is better than a toilet stall in a Mexican restaurant.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: GUEST,Bill Kennedy
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 04:58 PM

if I rememberr correctly it goes something like this:

Scrotum, Scrotum, wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin,
Scrotum, Scrotum, the place I Keep my testes in...

can't remember the rest, but I'll think about it.


I did promt me to come up with:

Vulva, vulva, pearly, girly flaps of skin
Vulva, vulva, the place I stick my peter in...

Subject: Lyr Req: 'The Scrotum song'
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Apr 05 - 04:51 PM

Hi my friends. I´m looking for the lyrics for this song(The Scrotum Song) , by "Asylum Street Spankers". A funny one BTW. Does anyone know where to find it?
    thanks
          Joe