Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues

Subject: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Flash Company
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 07:33 AM

Anyone see the story of the Executive character building exercise undertaken by a group from Maersk Shipping?
Apparently they embarked in Poole Harbour in two kayaks and managed to capsize them both. Enter the rescue boat, they all tried to board at the same time and capsized that too!
Life boat duly pulled them out, two taken to hospital with hypothermia, one with asthma attack. A spokesman for the organisation responsible for the exercise said 'They were in no danger, the water in Pooole harbour is only four feet deep.'
My wife's comment was ' Not so much a team hug, more of a team glug!'

FC

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 11:49 AM

Well its like the eskimo who built a fire in his canoe to keep warm burnt it and sank....





you cannot have your kayak and heat it.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Willie-O
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 11:54 AM

this was a shipping company group? Doesn't say much for their seamanship.

Contrary to myth, most kayaks--certainly the scows that would be rented to a lubberly group such as this--are quite difficult to capsize. I've been paddling one for 20 years (boy are my arms tired and my knees have gone to sleep years ago) in all kinds of interesting waters and never had to do a wet exit or a roll.   

And four feet of water is plenty deep enough to get hypothermia in!      

Doesn't say much for the hapless rescue crew either, should have beaten the swimmers off with an oar if they were so panicky...

W-O

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Ernest
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 01:57 PM

How about the Australian who got a new boomerang and lost his mind trying to throw the old one away.............?
Regards
Ernest

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 02:13 PM

Wodda buncha maroons!! LOL!!


A

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Micca
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 02:43 PM

Woke up this morning,
Thought we'd paddle our own canoe
Yeah, woke up this morning
Thought we'd paddle our own canoe
But we are Maersk shipping clerks
And we didn't know what too do

We got into Poole harbour
Of that there is no doubt
We got into Poole harbour
Of that there is no doubt
But we turned the damned things over
Lifeboat had to be called out

Along came the rescue
With its so professional crew
Along came the rescue
With its so professional crew
We all tried to board together
And we turned that over too

So we're freezing in Poole harbour
Man I feel just like a creep
So we're freezing in Poole harbour
Man I feel just like a creep
I'm a getting Hypothermia
And its only 4 feet deep

So we all end up in Hospital
Won't go sailing anymore
So we all end up in Hospital
Won't go sailing anymore
If hypothermia don't get you
Then that Asthma will for sure

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 03:18 PM

So all you shipping magnates
Listen here to me,
Yes all you shipping magnates
Just you listen here to me
Stay safe behind those oaken desks,
And stay the hell away from sea!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 07:27 PM

Well done Amos!

You'll have to bring that to a Mudcat Song Room - when we get one started again!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 08:14 PM

Me? Hell, I was just tagging onto Micca's coattails!


A

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: open mike
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 08:21 PM

hooray for micca and amos..songwriting team!@

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 08:09 AM

We paddled cross Poole harbour,
Thought we were doing fine,
We paddled cross Poole harbour,
Thought we were doing fine,
"Long came a catspaw*,
Exposed our bottom line.

* Nautical term for "a ruffle on the water indicating a breath of wind during a calm."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Flash Company
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 11:51 AM

Thought I could rely on you lot, nice one Micca (and Amos)
Charley, that is really getting technical.
I will see if I can work up something about 'The Rulers of the Maersk Navee', See you all tomorrow.

FC

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Cool Beans
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 05:38 PM

Does anything rhyme with Maersk?

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Flash Company
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 05:11 AM

When I was a lad it seemed to me,
That I should go to University,
I gained a degree in Ancient Strife,
A totally useless subject for a business life,
But still it was a good degree,
So they made me a ruler of the Maersk Navee,
Refrain...

In the office there I was quite a star,
Everyone decided that I would go far,
And so in March, like a total fool,
I agreed to go kayacking at a place called Poole,
Poole harbour in March aint the place to be,
Especially for a ruler of the Maersk Navee
Ref...

In two Kayaks we six did embark,
The day was cold and the sky was dark,
A squall blew up and turned us oe'r,
When we were about a hundred yards from shore
I splashed about shouting 'Rescue me,
For I am a ruler of the Maersk Navee!'
Ref....

The safety boat came up on the tide,
And we all grabbed hold on the Starboard side,
We tried to climb in, but what the hell,
The bloody safety boat capsized as well,
Now that didn't seem very safe to me,
As a deskbound ruler of the Mearsk Navee,
Ref...

The local Lifeboat came up then,
And quickly pulled us out again,
At the Hospital, the doc did say
That I had slight hypotherm-i-a,
Not the kind of thing , you will agree
To be suffered by a ruler of the Maersk Navee
Ref.....

So business graduates beware,
And never stray from your office chair,
For pulling us safely out of the drink,
The bill was a thousand quid, I think
A reasonable price, it seems to me
For saving the rulers of the Maersk Navee
Ref...

Flash Company (aka Brian Quinn) with apologies to the late
W S Gilbert.

Had to adjust the month for the event in verse one, couldn't get April to scan!

FC

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Sinking Kayak Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 07:45 AM

Very nice! Be sure to forward a copy to the local media and the company HQ.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble