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BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence

Peace 02 May 05 - 05:04 PM
Rapparee 02 May 05 - 04:33 PM
Peace 02 May 05 - 04:17 PM
Georgiansilver 02 May 05 - 04:14 PM
bobad 02 May 05 - 03:57 PM
Blissfully Ignorant 02 May 05 - 03:37 PM
Liz the Squeak 02 May 05 - 03:30 PM
Blissfully Ignorant 02 May 05 - 03:09 PM
Rapparee 02 May 05 - 02:45 PM
Donuel 02 May 05 - 01:40 PM
Donuel 02 May 05 - 01:25 PM
CarolC 02 May 05 - 01:02 PM
Peace 02 May 05 - 12:46 PM
heric 02 May 05 - 12:43 PM
Blissfully Ignorant 02 May 05 - 12:36 PM
Peace 02 May 05 - 12:27 PM
gnu 02 May 05 - 12:27 PM
Blissfully Ignorant 02 May 05 - 12:26 PM
CarolC 02 May 05 - 12:23 PM
wysiwyg 02 May 05 - 12:22 PM
Blissfully Ignorant 02 May 05 - 12:19 PM
Peace 02 May 05 - 12:15 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 02 May 05 - 05:04 PM

Perfect present for the person who has everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 05 - 04:33 PM

Hmmm...if the whole crew took part, could you use this as a technique to beat the doldrums if you were at sea in a sailing vessel?


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 02 May 05 - 04:17 PM

Jaysus,

I start one serious thread a year and look what you lot have done to it!


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 May 05 - 04:14 PM

So this lady went to the doctor and said "Doctor, I have a problem! I keep farting at the rate of around 200 a day and I have done five since being in your office...but they are always silent and they never smell"
The Doctor wrote a prescription for some pills and the lady took them for a week but returned to the doctor complaining "Doctor, I am farting just as much but they smell terrible since I've been taking those pills"
The doctor said "Good!!! that's sorted out your nasal problem..now let's see if we can do something about the deafness"!!!!!!


Best wishes, Mike.


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: bobad
Date: 02 May 05 - 03:57 PM

the farting dot - fun for the entire family.


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 02 May 05 - 03:37 PM

It's so funny when dogs fart and then look at their bum, totally discombobulated....and then start chasing their tail....hehhehe...he..


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 May 05 - 03:30 PM

I love that cat but experience teaches me they don't announce it quite like that..... a sly smirk or a stupid look round as if to say 'was that my bum?'

Church pews (of the old fashioned variety) are great for 'rolling farts' - those explosive bursts you can't keep to yourself any longer - they sound like a ball bearing being rolled down a metal drainpipe.....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 02 May 05 - 03:09 PM

That bubble wrap thing is so cool...i drew a bubble wrap smiley face...


Here's some toilet humour and here's some more.


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 05 - 02:45 PM

A young feller was courting the daughter of a high-class citizen, a judge. He was a terrific classical piano player and would play his own compositions at the drop of hat. After dinner at the young lady's house one evening, he suddenly felt that the meal hadn't really set well on his stomach, and yet he still had the courtin' part to do.

Gritting his teeth, he walked to the concert grand and announced to her that he would play his own new composition, entitled "The Storm." He ripped into it, and under the cover of the thunder and lightning he could relieve the growing gas pressure in his stomach. He did, and felt considerable relief.

"How did you like it?" he asked her when he was done.

"It was fine!" she exclaimed. "I especially liked the part where the shithouse blew up."

Fer all you smart fellers....


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Donuel
Date: 02 May 05 - 01:40 PM

New sampler pack

http://uk.download.yahoo.com/ne/fu/attachments/bubblewrap.swf


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Donuel
Date: 02 May 05 - 01:25 PM

In every life there is one gaseous episode that ranks titanticly head and shoulders above any other eruption before or since.

These Herculean accomplishments become the stuff of myths.
Unless there is a witness.


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: CarolC
Date: 02 May 05 - 01:02 PM

Yes, I have to say that I tend to think of them in the same way that heric does. Real molecules of real stuff that comes out of someone's ass. I think of the odor in a recently used bathroom/washroom/lavatory in the same way.


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 02 May 05 - 12:46 PM

You are MORE than welcome, heric. If I'd bet, you'd a jus' made me ten bucks.

The science of farts is interesting, but no scientist yet has put it in the poetic manner you have. Sing on O sweet lips that never told a lie.


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: heric
Date: 02 May 05 - 12:43 PM

Thanks for starting this thread to prove a point brucie.

Flatulence odors, to me, mean molecules - physical, tangible molecules entering my nose, penetrating my mucosa and entering my bloodstream. A physical intrusion into my lungs, heart, and cardiovascular system, even intruding upon my brain cells. From someone else's ass.

Chew on that for a while. And have a nice day!





i will not post to this thread i will not post to this thread


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 02 May 05 - 12:36 PM

A fart like that is the ghost of a previous fart that died before it could escape.


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 02 May 05 - 12:27 PM

This is likely not an appropriate question to ask ladies; it is therefore addressed to the world at large.

We have all had farts that we let go--only to find out they had NO odor. I ask then, "What's the use?" Where does a fart like that come from?


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: gnu
Date: 02 May 05 - 12:27 PM

I figured Spaw, but brucie?


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 02 May 05 - 12:26 PM

I used to....but then one time i lit a fart when i was wearing a skirt, and my tights got melted onto my thigh... my friend and i nearly peed ourselves laughing. Which would have been handy had my skirt caught on fire, i suppose....


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: CarolC
Date: 02 May 05 - 12:23 PM

Yeah sure, Blissfully Ignorant, but do you light them?


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 May 05 - 12:22 PM

I like to give them names (everyone's farts), at Mudcat Gatherings. One reason we have so much fun at them.

(Joking)

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 02 May 05 - 12:19 PM

I just let rip, scratch my arse, and grin stupidly. Must be hanging around with teenage boys taht does it...


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Subject: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 02 May 05 - 12:15 PM

To keep the thread title clean I didn't use the F word.

Farts are many things to many people. What do farts mean to you?
That is, do you 'see' them as friendly releases that help you gain a degree of comfort with yourself or do you perceive them to be a nuisance to be ignore (or at least blamed on the dog)?


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