BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 May 05 - 01:23 PM

I heard the water running out there. I think someone turned the hose on it.

It's so darned hot here today, I wouldn't mind seeing that pit turned into a nice little wading pool!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 May 05 - 01:17 PM

Has anyone checked the jello pit lately? Hope it got cleaned out after the last session.

Oh, and mine's a dry white wine - still on Bert's card?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:26 PM

I'll have a cold beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 May 05 - 10:38 PM

Where did everybody go? I tucked Alice away and came back with a tin of bourbon balls but nobody's here.

Hello???????? YOOHOOOOOO!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: jacqui.c
Date: 12 May 05 - 07:27 AM

Just spit out the dog hair - Seamus has been shedding profusely lately. Oh, and he farts most of the time as well - must have been like a jacuzzi in that jello pit when he was in there.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 May 05 - 06:26 AM

*Looks into jello pit*

Did you just eat that or are you about to?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 11 May 05 - 09:26 PM

I say, has anyone here seen the entity you know as "Debbie Earl?" Itshehe is my genetic cognate thrice removed in my neuter maternal lineage. The entity looks like this, at least in this dimensional continuum.

And it that a honey-jello-squid pit? Oh, gracious! Might I add some feta cheese to it and sup it all?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: GUEST,The Sledgehammer
Date: 11 May 05 - 06:45 PM

Whooo! Thanks for getting me away from that thing. I thought I was doomed to spend the rest of my life in a fetid Jello pit! It was bad enough having once belonged to Neal Cassady. Yes, that was me. The sledgehammer that Cassady spun, twirled and caught incessantly while high on speed in The Electric Koolaid Acid Test. It was very disorienting being flipped and spun all the time. Sledgehammers are supposed to belong to real men like John Henry who do real work with them, not to oversized molluscs and wired-out freaks!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 May 05 - 05:41 PM

Scungilli all 'round. "Sorry about that folks. I'll get Alice home before she does anymore damage."

SINS leaves by the Northeastern portal with an angry cat and two squid legs. No one notices that she has squirreled away the bar's entire supply of Jack Daniel's under her shirt.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 May 05 - 05:34 PM

As the squid sneakily slinks and slides into the sweet mess attempting to make a grab at the large and messy yellow lab slobbering at the edge of the pit, Alice plugs in the toaster and tosses it into the honey. ZAP! ZZZZTTTTTT! The sledge hammer flies through the air along with squidly arms and legs and assorted giblets all nicely coated with steaming sweet sauce and berries.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 May 05 - 03:33 PM

Oops. Not quite as dangerous as I thought--it's a sledgehammer, not a hatchet.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 May 05 - 02:29 PM

Sage sticks her head around the door from the Wyoming side, and glances at the jello pit hot tub honey brew.

"Did ya'll know that that squid might have a hatchet? Just thought I'd warn you. And he may know some of the Freds."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: GUEST,Bunnhabhain
Date: 11 May 05 - 11:49 AM

And Tennents orginates at the same period. A similar sub-beer brew, it was used, by poor tenants in leau of money or useful crops to pay the rent, and the folk process transferred the name of Tenants to the brew itself, becoming imbedded in Britian to this day, resulting in Tennents being consumed in great quantity.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: GUEST,beertender
Date: 11 May 05 - 09:13 AM

THE LEGEND OF BUDWIESSER

Back in time, when the world was younger then it is now, roughly 1067 AD or so, the English were suffering a great dilemma. Willy the Bastard and his Norman crew were running rampant across the countryside, and being as they were winning they expected to get things for free; things like food, clothing, and beer. Especially beer.

Now beer, being the qintessential English drink that it is, was far too important to the average bloke in the street to allow these Norman dogs to be quaffing it under their noses,especially if the pig-dogs didn't pay for it! And since practically every household prided itself on the quality of their brewing it truly hurt that the Normans could not even appreciate the quality - as their palates had been ruined by drinking that effete Norman wine. Can you imagine, the Normans actually preffered the fermented grape to a properly brewed malt beverage!

Now in considering what to do the doughty English considered well; for if they merely hid their brewings, the Normans were sure to search high and low, uncovering more then just the beer barrels. It would never due for the Norman men at arms to discover just how many English goods were escaping taxation!

While the Anglo-Saxon brains seethed furiously trying to discover an escape from this dillemma a thought finally struck. In the springtime and up until barley harvest when stocks of the previous years barley were nearly exhausted it was customary to use the lees of a previous brewing and double or triple the normal amount of water to make a weak, poor, nearly colourless and tasteless "beer" which, though beneath contempt under normal circumstances, was sufficient for children, serfs, apprentices and the poor. It was better then water, after all, though barely. This drink (for it was difficult indeed to term it "beer") was oft times known as "budde wasser" for it was brewed in the time of the budde (or budtime); spring. But it was known as "wasser" rather then "ale" for few cared to give it the dignity of actually considering the drink to be a proper brew. You could see through it! but for the Normans it would certainly be sufficient - in fact they would probably never notice.

thus the brewers used the spent grains from their actual beermaking to brew batch after batch of budde-wasser - which was left conveniently poorly hidden so that the Norman soldiers could plunder it at their will. The TRUE ales were much better hidden.

Over time budde-wasser became Budwiesser. And thereby hangs the tale.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 05 - 08:39 AM

Sure it would!

Why, one time I told some friends I was moving and they had one heck of a party for me! Nobody could make it until I'd been gone for a week, but I was told everyone really enjoyed themselves.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 May 05 - 08:03 AM

MOM! Glad you could make it, it wouldn't be a party without you.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 05 - 10:45 PM

Do tell, Mother MOAB!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: MOAB
Date: 10 May 05 - 10:45 PM

I can't spell either. But I have a good excuse for that also. I was in a hurry to make the 100th post before that wanker Flamingo Ted did it.

Ta-Ta,

Mom

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: MOAB
Date: 10 May 05 - 10:43 PM

Thanks to all my children and friends for throwing the party. I'm sorry I haven't been able to get here until now. I have a good axcuse, though you'd probably never believe it.

Love,

Mom

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: GUEST,The Giant Squid
Date: 10 May 05 - 10:43 PM

BURP!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 May 05 - 08:52 PM

and the Jello pit is full of honey, a dog, and a cat. A little vinegar and a few spices, a simple blow torch, and the squid lured into proximity - and there we'll have it! Sweet and Sour Squid.

Alice, upon hearing the plan removes herself from Seamus' head and knowing Baby Fred's attachment to the silly beast, coaxes Seamus to safer ground while the squid splish-sploshes it's way into the sticky pit. "Blowtorch?" she muses. "No - a hair dryer plugged in, turned on, and tossed into the goo will do the trick." Off she goes in search of electrical appliances while Jacqui wails at Seamus "You stupid damn dog! I just brushed you! Now you're all full of honey and cat hair! Damn! Kendall, come here please...darling. Seamus needs to go out..."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: jacqui.c
Date: 10 May 05 - 06:53 PM

Well, if Alice can be persuaded I'm sure that the squid body parts can be obtained.......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 06:50 PM

I can only say, "Oh you squid!"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 05 - 05:20 PM

Better put that plumbing job on Bert's card. For a tip, get yourself a good beer at the bar and remember: "Buy low, sell high."

I don't see that squid volunteering any body parts for your recipe. Just how are you planning to prepare that dish, SINS?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: GUEST,Plumber
Date: 10 May 05 - 04:02 PM

Who do I give the bill? Evrythings fixed, ladie - but I couldn't match the 24 caret commode - so had to use platinum.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:41 PM

Within the discontinuity of MOAB, nothing ever remains broken -- not even hearts.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:38 PM

WOW!!! And to think I almost boiled the beans in prune juice.

Does this mean that we are back to male and female trees in the backyard or will the elves come and fix the toilet? I need to know before I try the Sweet 'N Sour Squid.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:16 PM

In the immortal words of Al Jolson....


You ain't heard nothin' yet!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:07 PM

(Liz, you're a good sport!)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 05 - 08:43 AM

"Ain't never seen nothin' like it," said the old man. "I wuz jist walkin' down ta the crick an' this here terlet come a-blowin' past, doin' 'bout a million miles a minute, an' a pair of them new-fangled ladies song underwear with it, too. Ain't never seen nothing' like it."

And he shook his hoary locks and drank the bottle down.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 May 05 - 04:39 AM

Here I sit, broken hearted... paid my penny



blew the back out of the cubicle and the cistern is now in orbit....


FREE AT LAST!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 05 - 12:45 AM

Fire in the hole!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 May 05 - 05:23 PM

You seriously want to give me something like that? You better stand clear then!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 May 05 - 12:25 PM

That'll get her out even faster!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 May 05 - 11:50 AM

"Sweet and Sour Squid! Yum Yum" says Alice. "I'll just sit here on this ridiculous dog's head and lure the slippery beast over. Damn it Seamus! Stop wagging your tail. You're getting berry juice and honey all over me."

SINS watches from the bar, JD in hand. That squid looks angry and Alice and Seamus are in her care.

She passes a large serving of spicy corn pone cooked with lima beans to LTS. "That will blast you out of there in no time." she promises. "Better hurry though there are only a few truffles left."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 05 - 11:03 AM

My, my. You take a couple days to spend with an old friend and everything crashes.

BARKEEP! Hootchenoo! With gunpowder, tobacco juice, and ground habenero peppers! Put it in a glass and give it to LtS! I'll have a good single malt, myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: GUEST,Seamus
Date: 08 May 05 - 01:43 PM

Squid in the jello pit? I don't think so - the jello pit's mine, all mine I tell you!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: GUEST,Giant Squid
Date: 08 May 05 - 12:10 PM

Splash, slosh, swish, swish. . .

Ah! The food of the gods! Chocolate-dipt cat!

Jello pit, here I come!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 May 05 - 05:05 AM

Hey, they can sit where they like, they're mine and I WILL get them all.... bruauahahhahahahaaaaaaaaa

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 05 - 01:24 AM

Maybe some of those chocolate dipped strawberries on the side? The huge ones that sit decadently on the plate with their coat of thick hardened chocolate.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 May 05 - 09:28 PM

What, no chocolate sauce?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 05 - 08:37 AM

Okay - Try a piece of this. It's a layered strawberry desert -
slices of pound cake - with a marscapone strawberry layer over that, strawberry curd over that and topped with strawberry whipped cream.

Too much?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: jacqui.c
Date: 07 May 05 - 07:56 AM

Ask Kendall about cod liver oil capsules........

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 May 05 - 04:20 AM

I wouldn't say stuck..... more like.... LOCKED!!!!

We know a song about that don't we boys and girls!!!

Save me a truffle please?!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: MAG
Date: 07 May 05 - 01:08 AM

Oh great; a party. I could use a party. Am I allowed to come even if I have never braved the infamous MOAB thread?? My computer is shaky enough as it is.

Here are 3 perfromance pieces about chocolate for the jukebox. and some truffle brownies.

MAG

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 05 - 10:37 AM

Singing is heard coming from the general direction of the parking lot. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 06 May 05 - 08:56 AM

oh jeez - don't let Prilicla near Hazel - I'm told she has this "thing" about bugs.

Beaker of blueberry mead for the Empath - with a side of spaghetti!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 05 - 08:46 AM

Oh, geez, LtS is stuck in the Ladies' again. Well, not a problem -- get the barrels of grease ready.

Nearby, a crystalline being flutters close to the ceiling, obviously roiled by...something. Hesitantly, a thought comes through: "My name is Prilicla. I would like a drink. Thank you."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 May 05 - 07:05 AM

Don't blenderize it, just slide it under the door please.... I have all the water I can drink in here, but I need something with a little .... absorbency....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat MOAB Mother's Day Tavern
From: jacqui.c
Date: 06 May 05 - 06:43 AM

The jello pit now contains one very large and soggy yellow lab. Go anywhere near him and he'll lick you to death. There's Alice, sitting on the edge with a smug expression on her face - methinks she might have had something to do with luring him in?

I'm not even going to try and get him out yet - more wine please bartender and is there any of that black pepper shortbread out back?