BS: Should V's Could.

Subject: BS: Should V's Could.
From: Davetnova
Date: 13 May 05 - 03:21 AM

Maybe it's just me but I seem to be registering a lot of Shoulds in the threads. Now it's only a couple of letters but when someone says to me I Should do something, somewhere inside I bristle. On the other hand if someone says I Could try this, it's nice friendly constructive advice.

Subject: RE: BS: Should V's Could.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 May 05 - 03:32 AM

If you have to ask should I, then you probably shouldn't.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Should V's Could.
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 13 May 05 - 07:09 AM

We are defined by what we choose to do, not what we must do, and we are shaped by what we love.

Subject: RE: BS: Should V's Could.
From: *daylia*
Date: 13 May 05 - 07:55 AM

Well I can't speak for others, but when I use the word "should" as in "I should do X", what I'm really thinking is "I believe it would be good to do X, but I don't really want to". For example "I should get 8 hours sleep a night" means I bet that would be great - but I don't.

And I probably won't, either. Kinda like "I'll try to remember to practice my scales..."

So for a couple years now I've made an effort to drop the word "should" from my vocabulary. (Not that I should drop it, but I DO drop it whenever it comes up). It's not exactly a healthy or efficient way of thinking. And this probably pleases those who resent being told what they "should" or "should not" be or do etc. Like me.

If my student said "I should" - or even "I could practice my scales this week", neither would leave me too convinced. But "I WILL practice my scales this week"? A-HA! Now that's what I wanna hear!! And I don't tell them they "should" practice technique. I tell them they NEED to practice it if they want to develop the strength and co-ordination in their hands and fingers to be good piano players etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Should V's Could.
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 May 05 - 09:03 AM

I've learnt over the years that "should" is a finger-pointing guilt-inducing world.

For me, it's an I-know-better-than-you word, a word used to tell others how they SHOULD be living/raising their kids/wearing their hair/dressing/thinking ....

And I've learnt not to use it cos I don't know how to run your life, I have enough trouble running mine. I also get a tad annoyed at folks who use it to tell me how to run my life. All for my own good, of course.

A few years back I wrote up some something for work & one of the supervisors went thru it & removed every "could" & replaced it with a SHOULD. It wasn't my document anymore.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Should V's Could.
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 13 May 05 - 09:15 AM

I should get to the other side of this deep, fast-moving, river and I could walk there across this rotten, slippery, wet, skinny, old tree trunk, but I don't think I will.

I should do what I can to bring peace to the Middle East and I could nuke Tehran, but just because I can doesn't mean doesn't mean I should.

Subject: RE: BS: Should V's Could.
From: GUEST,Bainbo
Date: 13 May 05 - 10:01 AM

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Every time my wife looks up from amagazine to tell me "You should eat five pieces of fruit and veg a day" or "You're supposed to take 10 minutes of aerobic exercise," or the like, it gets me really annoyed and I haven't been able to articulate why, leaving her thinking I'm just cranky (which I am). Thank you for giving me a reason, and letting me know I'm not alone.

Usually, I end up studiously avoiding fruit and veg, or exercising, or whatever it is I've been told I should do.

But what about the subjunctive tense? As in: "Should I die an early death, it'll probably be through lack of exercise, or fruit and veg."

Subject: RE: BS: Should V's Could.
From: GUEST
Date: 13 May 05 - 10:04 AM

different should.

Subject: RE: BS: Should V's Could.
From: GUEST,Bainbo
Date: 13 May 05 - 10:06 AM

I was being flippant.

*Sigh* Another wasted effort.

Subject: RE: BS: Should V's Could.
From: Davetnova
Date: 13 May 05 - 10:13 AM

How big is a piece of fruit? Is it the same size as a piece of veg? What's the difference between should and should? Could I be told? Should I be told? If I should be told, could it make me a better person?