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BS: Delicate question for older US males

Joybell 22 May 05 - 10:30 PM
Joybell 22 May 05 - 10:32 PM
freda underhill 22 May 05 - 10:34 PM
Peace 22 May 05 - 10:34 PM
Gypsy 22 May 05 - 10:41 PM
Clinton Hammond 22 May 05 - 10:44 PM
Peace 22 May 05 - 10:46 PM
Peace 22 May 05 - 10:48 PM
GUEST 22 May 05 - 10:49 PM
mack/misophist 22 May 05 - 10:53 PM
SINSULL 22 May 05 - 11:05 PM
freda underhill 22 May 05 - 11:10 PM
GUEST 22 May 05 - 11:11 PM
jacqui.c 22 May 05 - 11:18 PM
Stilly River Sage 22 May 05 - 11:19 PM
wysiwyg 22 May 05 - 11:21 PM
Peace 22 May 05 - 11:26 PM
Stilly River Sage 23 May 05 - 12:28 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 12:31 AM
Amos 23 May 05 - 12:55 AM
JohnInKansas 23 May 05 - 01:01 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 01:04 AM
Stilly River Sage 23 May 05 - 01:34 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 01:36 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 01:42 AM
freda underhill 23 May 05 - 01:44 AM
Jeanie 23 May 05 - 02:26 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 02:33 AM
Boab 23 May 05 - 02:46 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 02:52 AM
gnu 23 May 05 - 07:47 AM
Dave the Gnome 23 May 05 - 07:59 AM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 23 May 05 - 08:17 AM
gnu 23 May 05 - 08:22 AM
gnu 23 May 05 - 08:24 AM
gnu 23 May 05 - 08:54 AM
Rapparee 23 May 05 - 09:06 AM
Jeri 23 May 05 - 09:09 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 May 05 - 09:42 AM
Dave Bryant 23 May 05 - 10:09 AM
bobad 23 May 05 - 10:13 AM
wysiwyg 23 May 05 - 10:20 AM
kendall 23 May 05 - 10:20 AM
Kim C 23 May 05 - 11:52 AM
Peace 23 May 05 - 12:23 PM
SINSULL 23 May 05 - 01:31 PM
catspaw49 23 May 05 - 01:53 PM
McGrath of Harlow 23 May 05 - 02:00 PM
Bill D 23 May 05 - 02:01 PM
Liz the Squeak 23 May 05 - 02:03 PM
Bill D 23 May 05 - 02:37 PM
Peace 23 May 05 - 02:41 PM
Bill D 23 May 05 - 02:48 PM
Peace 23 May 05 - 03:08 PM
Ebbie 23 May 05 - 03:16 PM
Peace 23 May 05 - 03:23 PM
bobad 23 May 05 - 03:38 PM
GUEST 23 May 05 - 03:40 PM
Once Famous 23 May 05 - 04:03 PM
Jeri 23 May 05 - 04:16 PM
Mark Cohen 24 May 05 - 01:34 AM
Ebbie 24 May 05 - 03:04 AM
Dave Bryant 24 May 05 - 08:43 AM
JennyO 24 May 05 - 08:50 AM
Ebbie 24 May 05 - 05:25 PM
GUEST,observer 24 May 05 - 09:00 PM
Peace 24 May 05 - 09:21 PM
bobad 24 May 05 - 09:40 PM
Peace 24 May 05 - 09:54 PM
bobad 24 May 05 - 10:03 PM
Joybell 24 May 05 - 11:15 PM
jacqui.c 24 May 05 - 11:38 PM
Peace 25 May 05 - 12:13 AM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 25 May 05 - 12:16 AM
JohnInKansas 25 May 05 - 12:20 AM
Peace 25 May 05 - 12:27 AM
Tannywheeler 25 May 05 - 12:31 AM
Metchosin 25 May 05 - 02:01 AM
Metchosin 25 May 05 - 02:23 AM
JohnInKansas 25 May 05 - 02:34 AM
Metchosin 25 May 05 - 02:47 AM
Mark Cohen 25 May 05 - 03:17 AM
jimmyt 25 May 05 - 07:09 AM
gnu 25 May 05 - 09:05 AM
sixtieschick 26 May 05 - 05:25 PM
Little Hawk 26 May 05 - 07:04 PM
bobad 26 May 05 - 07:20 PM
EBarnacle 26 May 05 - 07:58 PM
sixtieschick 26 May 05 - 08:15 PM
Liz the Squeak 27 May 05 - 08:47 AM
Joybell 27 May 05 - 09:13 PM
Joybell 27 May 05 - 09:18 PM

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Subject: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Joybell
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:30 PM

Truluv here, with a comment on toilet design australia vs usa:
a man in his mid-60s, i found on a recent tour of the usa, that when i sat on the toilet, my balls tended to hang in the water. i find this both distasteful and unhygienic. this does not occur on australian toilets, whereon, because of the height of the seat and the depth and shape of the bowl, the water level is kept a respectful distance from even the droopiest scrotum. has anyone else encountered this problem? have the authorities been notified? has there been a strong letter written to the New York Times? when will action be taken?   H


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Joybell
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:32 PM

Does Billy Connolly know about this?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:34 PM

.. don't go to Austria, Joybell... you may find it's even shallower there!


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:34 PM

It is a problem. The water from the cistern that fills the bowl is very cold. And DEEP.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Gypsy
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:41 PM

just be careful flushing! can'tgetthethoughtoutofmeheadsnickersnickersnicker.........


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:44 PM

Oh good sweet merciful crap on a cracker, will you people get LIVES!!!

If Mudcat and it's 'fans' tolerate THIS kind of inane garbage it has NO RIGHT to criticize ANYTHING anyone EVER posts here

I hope I NEVER get so old and dull that all I have left to talk about are my bodily functions... especially NOT in PUBLIC...


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:46 PM

Too cold for ya, huh, Clinton?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:48 PM

Sorry. I'm an older Canadian male. I'll be gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:49 PM

But you will Clinton...you will get old and you will talk about Bodily functions in public.
It is the one sure thing in this Life....ageing..and the stuff that goes along with it.....
..and as you have said yourself may times this is a blip in cyber Space so not so much general public arena so why take it so seriously...or could this be your irrational fear perhaps??


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: mack/misophist
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:53 PM

Water level in the us varies, and is sometimes adjustable in tank toilets. The original idea seems to have been making them easier to clean (less exposed porcelain). Older toilets tend to be 'deeper'.

Clinton: What's wrong with asking about plumbing design?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:05 PM

Most American males stand to pee. That will solve the problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:10 PM

you're half right there, Sinsull!


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:11 PM

Just dont come to China where most of the loo's are of the squat type, bloody difficult for most westerners, you end up hanging off the pipes to stay upright(ish).

You have heard of 1000 year old eggs, well some of the loos here have seen that too since their last cleaning, a clothes peg is a usefull item.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: jacqui.c
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:18 PM

Even males have to sit sometimes. I'd hate to see the result if they didn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:19 PM

Ohmygosh! Blush!!!

Hildebrande, what can I say? We keep the commode water a little warmer in Texas? I hope you weren't too uncomfortable here!

;-D

SRS

The images going through my mind's eye now. . . whatever posessed you to identify yourself when you started this thread, H!


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:21 PM

Self-regulating problem. Cold (water) should cause sufficient shrinkage to lift the aforementioned unmentionables right back out of the water.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:26 PM

"Self-regulating problem. Cold (water) should cause sufficient shrinkage to lift the aforementioned unmentionables right back out of the water."

That was clever, funny and thoughtful. Good one.

OK, now I figure it'll be fewer than ten posts before men start getting slagged. Just a thought.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 May 05 - 12:28 AM

"Clever, funny, and thoughtful" shouldn't be a natural segue into "slagging" men.

Should it come to that, I'm sure that there is a natural tit-for-tat payback mechanism around the corner.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 12:31 AM

You are absolutely right that it shouldn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 05 - 12:55 AM

I dunno, H -- I haven't had that problem myself, so it strikes me you may have forgotten to lower the seat before sitting down.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:01 AM

There is tremendous variation in toilets in the US, but the problem cited most often happens when the individual flush valve is worn out or not properly adjusted.

After flushing, the valve that refills the tank for the next flush diverts a small stream of water into a pipe to refill the bowl itself. If the bowl stream is too large, or if the valve doesn't shut off completely, the bowl will be overfilled, resulting in the unsanitary condition described. The condition may also occur if the prior flush was incomplete, and left more in the bowl than intended, but that's usually obvious.

Older toilets installed in private homes generally were fairly "tall," so the problem didn't come up too often. In the "neo-modern" era of the 40s, many people installed "modern toilets" that were "low and sleek like a new Buick" and the problem was quite common. Some of these had the rim of the bowl as low as 10.5 or 11 inches above the floor. You could conveniently rest your forehead on your knees while doing your duties, and handrails or a helpful very-good-friend might be required to get off of one - especially after a long reading session.

The advent of the "low-volume" toilet regulations a few years back resulted in installation of a great many toilets that didn't flush at all - or that required several cycles to clear the bowl. It is common to find various "tricks" used to increase the initial water charge with these, so the problem would be very common. Improved designs have eliminated the flushing problem in newer models, but a great many of the "early design" kind are still found in motels etc.

Standard designs in currently available "seats" come in 4 or 5 different standard heights, with the "comfort seat" being more and more popular. This style places the bowl rim about 16.5" above the floor, and the cited problem would be unlikely - especially with an effective low-volume flush model. Since the "high seat" is required in most places for the mandatory "handicap stall" builders often have put the same stools in all locations (quantity buying, and all that), so these may be found in many newer buildings, or those that have been extensively remodeled.

The best advice though, is that putting the seat down before you sit will get you an extra inch or two (of clearance, that is).

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:04 AM

"Some of these had the rim of the bowl as low as 10.5 or 11 inches above the floor. You could conveniently rest your forehead on your knees while doing your duties, and handrails or a helpful very-good-friend might be required to get off of one - especially after a long reading session."

LOL

Kinda like a chopped Harley.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:34 AM

Are they dragging bottom on those Harleys too, brucie?

(sorry, sorry, I know, I don't mean to start "slagging," but the imagery is just too funny. And the thought of that kind of road burn. . .oooooooooo)


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:36 AM


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:42 AM

Had a friend with a Bassett hound. The dog had steel balls. His name was Sparky.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: freda underhill
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:44 AM

German style..

toilets of the world


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Jeanie
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:26 AM

As well as being (to our eyes and other parts) back-to-front, the weirdest Germanic toilet I've come across also had a *revolving toilet seat*. The idea was that when you pulled the flush, a little spurt of disinfectant was sprayed onto the seat from the cistern and the seat revolved so that the whole seat was covered. Rather scary for anyone who stayed on the seat after flushing.

- jeanie


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:33 AM

Answer for that is to have a sound system play "God Save the Queen" or the national anthem when one hits the lever or pulls the chain. T'would work for the patriots, anyway. (No, no, not the New England Pat--ah, what's the use.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Boab
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:46 AM

Brucie---how is the depth relevant? Explain yourself!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:52 AM

From an old joke. Two guys peeing off a bridge. One says to the other, "The water's cold." The other replies, "Deep, too."


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 05 - 07:47 AM

Subject: BS: Manly Bragging. More power. Car? Bike? T
From: gnu - PM
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 05:03 PM

What do you, the manly man, brag about ? Something that, as soon as you get it or build it, you invite your buddies over, just to show it off. That sup'ed up vintage muscle car ? That new ATV with the biggest most aggresive mud-boggin tires that throw mud in the faces of those you pass with ease ? That bass boat that will get you to the best fishin spots before daylight even when you leave the dock after dawn ?

Fer me, it's my Gerber. Man, she's seventeen and a half inches at the rim - no more squattin. Elongated bowl - no more cold d*** surprise. Three and a half gallons of super-swirlin per flush - no more double flushin. And the water surface is as big as a lake - no more wipin up the missin-pissin with toilet paper; you can hit this even when your more than half asleep. It's a manly toilet. C'mon over and try it. It's a beauty, eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 May 05 - 07:59 AM

Serious(ish) question that I have pondered before. How come the toilets in the US ARE different to the ones in the UK and the bits of Europe I have seen?

The European (Euro-peeing???) model starts off with the water low in the bowl. The flush washes down the sides of the bowl and as it starts to fill the syphonic action makes sure the water level never gets above around 1/3 of the way up.

The American vesion starts with the water a good 1/2 way up the bowl or more. The flush seems to cause it to fill very high and then empty to nothing before filling to 1/2 way again.

To me the water rushing down the sides seems to do a better job than the bowl filling up and emptying - But then again I'm biased:-)

Any ideas?

These are the tings that really need discusing, Clinton. This is important - Not like folk music..;-)

Cheers

DtG


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 23 May 05 - 08:17 AM

Reminds me of a song:

Do yer balls hang low
can you tie them in a bow
can you sling em oér yer shoulder
like a continental soldier
do you get a funny feeling
when you bounce them off the ceiling
Oh you'll never make a sailor
if yer balls hang low


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 05 - 08:22 AM

Cleansing action in residential toilets is all in the swirl, both in velocity and duration. I have never attempted to mearsure the velocity generated in my Gerber, but it IS impressive and lasts 8 seconds.

Regarding depth of the the water, such a discussion may actually be a little too delicate for some, but us engineers have been tasked with getting things right so we have to take everything into account when designing any system. Thereto, briefly,

Where,


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 05 - 08:24 AM

Shit (pun intended), I hit the tab to properly denote formulae designations... I shall use MS Word and paste-post later.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 05 - 08:54 AM

Nah, I'm still too groggy from sleeping too much. Let's just say that there's a volume of water in the tank and a volume of water in the bowl. The water has to remove a volume of liquids and solids, known as the shit load. The volume used for design is, of course, the maximum expected load, known as the shitload, which is based on the older male, who, as we all know, is full of shit.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 05 - 09:06 AM

A school in the US (Cornell?) published a book some years back called "The Bathroom." It was a study of US "appliances" and how to better them -- and yes, I remember that there was a second edition. There were some good ideas in it and I think that perhaps maybe some of them were possibly adopted.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Jeri
Date: 23 May 05 - 09:09 AM

Do your balls hang low?
In the toilet, do they go?
Do your pearlies get a swirly
When you flush just so?
Are they little tug-boaters
That push around the floaters?
Do your balls hang low?

I'd also like to mention I noticed we're responding to a post by 'Trulove' on Joybell's cookies. I don't think Joybell has a problem with her [censored by self because it's just unkind to use someone's screen name so] ...nuts, but you never know in this day and age.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 May 05 - 09:42 AM

Perhaps the problem isn't a matter of water level, or even the droopiness of H's nutsack. Perhaps H just doesn't have enough ass (arse) to keep his equipment sufficiently elevated. Most toilet seats are of roughly the same diameter, but the sizes of the asses which are placed upon them vary widely. A large steak-and-potatoes-size ass sits firmly upon the seat while a skinny little bean-sprouts-and-tofu ass misses the seat entirely. Obviously, if one's ass is insufficiently supported and, thusly, hanging down into the water, one's balls have no option but to hang there as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 23 May 05 - 10:09 AM

You want to try the asiatic style loos where you squat with one foot either side (there's often a sort of drawing of where to put your feet) of a shallow sort of basin in the floor.

When I was working in France with some other colleagues, we used to drink in a cafe which was frequented by squaddies and ladies who purveyed "horizontal refreshment". We only used it because in Ramboulet, like many non-tourist towns in France there was nothing else open after 10pm. The loo downstairs was unisex and had an asiatic pan and a "beware of low flying limbo dancers" type door. When one of us Brits headed for the loo, the "ladies" thought it great fun to dash there ahead and give us a full display, below the level of the door. They never seemed to give up, even though none of us ever showed embarassment - although even the most interesting female pudenda is rather wasted on one when you're dying for a pee !

What's the difference between a barrow boy and a dachshund ?
- the barrow boy bawls out his wares on the pavement . . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: bobad
Date: 23 May 05 - 10:13 AM

Very ass-tute observation BWL.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: wysiwyg
Date: 23 May 05 - 10:20 AM

If BWL's suggestion is correct, sit farther back and spread the knees wider to make a tripod of support, like children do when learning.

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: kendall
Date: 23 May 05 - 10:20 AM

Sigh...What next?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Kim C
Date: 23 May 05 - 11:52 AM

I don't know why that should be a problem in the US, since almost everybody has those low-flow toilets now that don't have hardly ANY water in them. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 12:23 PM

In toilets that have deep water, all turds weighing more than five pounds must be lowered by rope to avoid splash.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:31 PM

Note to gnu: Is it time to put away the pain pills? DO NOT bend over the loo in an attempt to develop your formula unless their is an attendant present to pull you out.
SINS


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:53 PM

JOHN IN KANSAS:

Hi John..........Somehow it seems appropriate to be asking john questions of a John. Very reassuring. LOL.....Seriously though, as you seem to have expertise here, why the hell is there a date indelibly written or cast in the tank of every toilet? Some kind of expiration date? "Must have a dump delivered into bowl prior to thia date." Actually I know it must be the manu. date, but why? Are the warranties that tight on shitters? I assume it must be a government reg since I couldn't see anyone going to all that trouble otherwise.   What's the scoop, so to speak?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:00 PM

Nothing wrong with the old French "Pan Turca", if it's properly maintained (mind that's a big "if"); and it's ergonomically a better design for the human anatomy.
...................................
Advert just below this page at the moment:

"Never a Dirty Toilet Seat
World's First Touch Free hygienic self cleaning toilet seat."


Good grief. An American site evidently...   Bring back Lem Putt, "The Specialist", . His country clearly badly needs him!


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Bill D
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:01 PM

there is a bell-shaped curve relating to human bodies. Appliances are probably designed to cater to, oh....95% of 'em. Thus, people who weigh 450+lbs, or are over 7' tall, or sag & droop excessively might well encounter awkward situations when they travel to places where design parameters differ from what they are used to.

I can say honestly I never heard of this problem from anyone in the US before.

Maybe we ought to create a small database from places around the world with "height of seat above water level" as one entry. Then again, maybe not...


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:03 PM

In our local Sunday Market there is a portacabin of toilets with large notices saying 'Do NOT stand on the seats', with illustrations on the correct way to use the toilet. Having seen the pictures of the Asiatic 'Squat and Squit' variety I now understand why.

I've been lucky enough to have never had to use one of that particular breed, nor have I had to suspend my not so skinny botty over any bar, beam or bucket since I was 10 and at school camp.....

Just remember - pointy leaves bad, round leaves good.

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Bill D
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:37 PM

Liz...I used to work at a small business school in an old building, and the 'facilities' were not fancy, but were kept reasonably clean. One day, after the students had gone, the secretary called me over and said "you gotta see this" and led me to the ladies room, where she pointed to the 'seat'. There I saw the clear dusty imprint of the soles of a pair of sneakers. I guess some people really have strange phobias and habits. (It really was clean...before someone made if dirty with their shoes!)


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:41 PM

I have been to establishments where they hang signs that read, "Stand way back. The crabs in here can jump ten feet."


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Bill D
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:48 PM

...and you didn't, as I remember.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 03:08 PM

Alas . . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Ebbie
Date: 23 May 05 - 03:16 PM

You guys are the limit. Last night I dreamt that I was going to use a public restroom. There were some difficulties.

First off, the door was pneumatic. You pushed it shut then pushed a button, opened the door and then pushed it shut again. A little silvery spiky pin came out, which showed that it was now sealed. I pulled on it just to make sure.

Then I turned my attention to the facilities. The tile was turquoise squares approximately 4 inches square, slightly soiled. There were two aspects to them. The one on the right had a lidless, seatless stool (man. I am having trouble expressing myself here) that leaned way back. In other words if you were to sit down, it would be almost impossible to right oneself again.

Alongside it was a downhill chute, also turquoise tiled with a drain at the bottom (bear {bare?) with me). It was evidently a urinal.

I headed for the door but woke up before I got out.

(Not to worry- in another dream I danced a fox trot with a woman who in real life died in 1989. And I knew she was dead.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 23 May 05 - 03:23 PM

"turquoise squares"

What colour is that?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: bobad
Date: 23 May 05 - 03:38 PM

Even though this may be a bit of thread drift there are some pretty far out urinals at this site - my favorite being this one.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: GUEST
Date: 23 May 05 - 03:40 PM

Men's Room LA
Kinky Friedman

I saw a picture yesterday
In a men's room near l.a.
Lying on the floor beside the throne.
Had I not recognized the cross
I might have failed to know the boss,
I thought, ¡°lord, you look neglected and alone.

I picked it up with lovin' care,
I wondered who had placed it there,
When l saw there was no paper on the roll.
I said, °lord, what would you do
If you were me and I was you,
Take a chance, save your pants or your soul ?

Then a voice said,
°kinky, it's jesus here, you know that I ain't no square.
Well, I've got these pictures of me,
I mean statues, you know they're everywhere.
Well, I may seem I come from liverpool,
And then on the other hand I may come from france,
But if you don't get off that toilet, well I'm just gonna have to dance."

I saw a picture yesterday in a men's room near l.a.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Once Famous
Date: 23 May 05 - 04:03 PM

What's the difference? If you are going to rocket a heavy one, you are going to get splashed.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Jeri
Date: 23 May 05 - 04:16 PM

WorldToilet,info, with essential toilet information and crapper culture such as how to ask where one is, whether you should flush paper or whether they provide paper or you have to.

Toiletnet.com at:HAHAHA - "http://www.flipdick.com/"
You can buy a calendar.
Toilets of the World - the scary and otherwise interesting.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 24 May 05 - 01:34 AM

'Spaw, that's the sell-by date. After that, it craps out.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 May 05 - 03:04 AM

"The tile was turquoise squares approximately 4 inches square," Eb

Corrected version: "The floor tiles were turquoise colored, approximately 4 inches square."

I *do* have trouble expressing myself, don't I.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 24 May 05 - 08:43 AM

There are sometimes good reasons for standing on the loo seat. With the old high-level cisterns there was often no other way of flushing the thing if the chain was missing. Essex Girl was standing on the seat the other week when she redecorated the downstairs loo !


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: JennyO
Date: 24 May 05 - 08:50 AM

Yes, but Ebbie, did the facilities FLUSH?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 May 05 - 05:25 PM

Only distantly, JennyO.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: GUEST,observer
Date: 24 May 05 - 09:00 PM

Joybell:

There is a solution to your problem

An operation.

The same kind of operation that turns a bull into a steer...


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 24 May 05 - 09:21 PM

Steroids?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: bobad
Date: 24 May 05 - 09:40 PM

BTW the surgery is called an orchidectomy - go figure - no one I know ever called em orchids.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 24 May 05 - 09:54 PM

Branding time there was a fellow named Leon. Leon was the cutter. Good at it. He would do two or three young bulls, and rather than have to get up and down to put the 'orchids' in the container, he'd simple put the vas deferens in his teeth and bite down. Got a pic of him somewhere with three sets of 'orchids' hanging from his jaw.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: bobad
Date: 24 May 05 - 10:03 PM

Would'nt be showing that pic to a vegetarian.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Joybell
Date: 24 May 05 - 11:15 PM

Well indeed it is not me with the problem. True-love used my name up there with my permission.
I must add that True-love has lost weight since his last encounter with American toilets. He's always had a neat little arse but now it's probably less well padded. I think Bee-dubya-ell has answered the question. Perhaps an air cushion or floaty-type ring is the answer. H lived quite a while in Asia and likes that kind of loo.

My particular worry is with the new-fangled toilets in Melbourne - single one-person ones, where a sign tells you that lights flash, bells ring and the door opens if you take too long. They don't tell you how long is too long! Does anyone know? Fearfully yours, Joy


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: jacqui.c
Date: 24 May 05 - 11:38 PM

In the one I used to use in Hertford, in the UK, you got 15 minutes - probably long enough for most people.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 25 May 05 - 12:13 AM

Takes more than that to check out the Sear's Catalogue tool section.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 May 05 - 12:16 AM

Or read an entire article in Martha Stewart Living*.

SRS

*If you take the time to refer to the appendices in the back of the magazine for all of the resources.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 25 May 05 - 12:20 AM

brucie -

If you've got a Sears Catalog you must be in a low traffic area. Sears hasn't published a catalog in my area (other than newsrag inserts) in about 20 years. They've even closed nearly all of their "catalog stores" in the smaller towns hereabout.

With industrialization you can't even get decent corn cobs, since they grind the good ones up to make "polishing media" for the tumble mills.

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Peace
Date: 25 May 05 - 12:27 AM

This is a hoppin' Friday night.

We need that catalog here. Still being published by Sear's in Canada. Wasn't for that, a third of the country wouldn't get clothes, furniture, tools, name it. Christmas would be a write off as would many birthdays, etc. We still have a catalog store here in Hinton, and there are some in Edmonton (place of 1,000,000 people give or take a hundred thousand) also. Too bad. I could get one for you if you wish to relive old memories. LOL. Serious though.

BM


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 25 May 05 - 12:31 AM

Dear God, education is a wonderful thing.   Trust Mudcat. Learn more about persons of the Male persuasion than I ever dreamed possible, learn about toilets all over, design, manufacture; musical lessons, poetry, history of publishing, America, Lots of Other Places in The World -- the variety of class content at this University is amazing. I'm glad I enrolled.

My magnificent (late) Aunt Martha taught elementary school for over 40 years in several places in Texas. After retirement she relocated to Austin to be near her daughter and other family. She would help hubby and I do things with our kids (shop, picnic, go camping, etc.).   The rule was: The last thing before you actually start the car and back out of the driveway -- EVERYONE go potty. Now that my kids have kids the tradition continues. I miss her. She was not only steadfast, but funny, and loving.            Tw


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Metchosin
Date: 25 May 05 - 02:01 AM

I'd be real careful with the new American Standard that they have out now in the US if you have problems with low hanging objects. Gosh, I saw a programme the other day about their new design and they flushed a dozen golf balls down at one go and another time a whole bowl full of rubber duckies. It could be frightening.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Metchosin
Date: 25 May 05 - 02:23 AM

I was wrong apparently it was 29 golf balls. You can see it in action for youself here if you want. Personally I was more impressed when they used golf balls and ducks.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 25 May 05 - 02:34 AM

Several of the newer "water conserving" designs use a pressurized air assist to ram the stuff down the pipe. They require an airline hookup, so probably wouldn't be too practical for home use.

My "mechanical curiosity" led me to begin a look at what sort of plumbing is involved, but when I hit the spec line that said "air hoses rated at 3,000 psig burst" I sort of retreated to a corner. When I quit quivering, maybe I'll go back and continue the study.

3,000 psig release of compressed gas????? Under your b.....???!!!


Well maybe they don't use that much for working pressure, but still, ..(?) Have the Reg bros been designing plumbing????

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Metchosin
Date: 25 May 05 - 02:47 AM

Dunno, but boy, constipation sure wouldn't be a problem anymore or tampax for that matter.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 25 May 05 - 03:17 AM

Speaking of water levels and loos, if you ever take the "Underground Seattle" tour (worth it, in my opinion, even if it is touristy), you'll see a toilet perched on a wooden tower about 8 feet high. The original town was built on a broad beach of Elliott Bay, and when the tide came in, toilets often turned into, er, shall we say, gushers. One of the many reasons they raised the street level to the second floor.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: jimmyt
Date: 25 May 05 - 07:09 AM

Hanging in to the cold water is only half the problem to me. I recently had hiccups while sitting and syphoned all the water out of the bowl. Now that is a true problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 05 - 09:05 AM

29 golf balls!! Rubber duckies!! Nearly as bad as computers. Just when I thought I had the ultimate man's throne, new technology makes it obsolete - as long as it has an elongated bowl... balls are not my problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: sixtieschick
Date: 26 May 05 - 05:25 PM

Bobad, this is several days late and dollars short to your May 24th post, but I couldn't resist:

An "orchidectomy" is probably so named because the word "orchid" comes from the ancient Greek "orchis," meaning testicles. The connection between the plant and the human anatomy probably isprobably derived from the fact that some orchid bulbs come in pairs.

Incidentally, there's a drink in Turkey and parts of the Middle East made with powdered orchid roots called Salep. Its etymology harks from a word which means "fox's testicles," and refers to the double bulbs found on that particular type of orchid. (The drink was also imbibed in England as saloop. Charles Lamb said it was the proper drink for chimney sweeps. I won't even try to figure that one out.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 May 05 - 07:04 PM

Awright! I love this thread. It upset Clinton Hammond. We need more stuff like this.

The original post, though, is bizarre. I find it hard to believe. I think Joybell made it up.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: bobad
Date: 26 May 05 - 07:20 PM

sixtieschick

I did know about the Greek origins and meaning of orchid as I have a medical background - I was just indulging in a little facetiousness. I did not know about the Turkish drink and the English connection though and find this intriguing as etymology interests me. In French the words salop and salope mean dirty bastard and bitch respectively. I wonder if there's a connection there.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: EBarnacle
Date: 26 May 05 - 07:58 PM

CH, one of the joys of getting a bit older, is you don't give a damn what the bluenoses think. [59 as of today] You know that since the Inquisition lost the right to burn heretics, it is reasonably safe to express you opinions in public.


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: sixtieschick
Date: 26 May 05 - 08:15 PM

I missed the subtleties of your facetiousness, Bobad--must need a new pair of reading glasses! Funny about the French words. Apropos of nothing, Marie Antoinette's morning hot chocolate was made with salep. Maybe some revolutionaries coined the epithets?


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 May 05 - 08:47 AM

Our office facilities are 'maintained' (I use the term loosely....) by a company that recently put up a lot of signs to encourage us to preserve water.

The last 'encouragement' states that (and this is verbatim);

"To avoid unnecessary flushing, please use bins provided".

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Joybell
Date: 27 May 05 - 09:13 PM

No Little Hawk I didn't make it up. Wish I had though. Funny idea!
True-Love has read the in depth (;-)) post by JohninKansas. Hildebrand recalls that the problem did indeed occur at old motels. NOT, he hastens to add, at private homes. Relax Amos, SRS and All.
I reckon it's a combination of little bum and old-style motel toilets. Cheers, Joy


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Subject: RE: BS: Delicate question for older US males
From: Joybell
Date: 27 May 05 - 09:18 PM

Liz, What a great idea. You could just add a few compost worms and a few vegetables. Cheers, Joy


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