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worst rhyme ever

John MacKenzie 15 Sep 06 - 12:24 PM
pdq 15 Sep 06 - 01:10 PM
rhyzla 15 Sep 06 - 03:41 PM
Murray MacLeod 15 Sep 06 - 03:46 PM
Tattie Bogle 15 Sep 06 - 07:59 PM
Joe Offer 15 Sep 06 - 08:49 PM
DoctorJug 16 Sep 06 - 02:51 AM
GUEST,sailorboy 16 Sep 06 - 04:45 AM
chazkratz 16 Sep 06 - 09:41 AM
GUEST,thurg 16 Sep 06 - 04:45 PM
Genie 16 Sep 06 - 05:43 PM
Genie 16 Sep 06 - 05:58 PM
Matt_R 16 Sep 06 - 06:38 PM
GUEST,RolyPoly from Oly 17 Sep 06 - 01:01 AM
alanabit 17 Sep 06 - 02:54 AM
Snuffy 17 Sep 06 - 07:11 PM
Genie 17 Sep 06 - 09:09 PM
GUEST,Jim 18 Sep 06 - 12:15 PM
Genie 18 Sep 06 - 12:56 PM
282RA 18 Sep 06 - 01:16 PM
282RA 18 Sep 06 - 01:28 PM
Murray MacLeod 18 Sep 06 - 04:02 PM
Severn 18 Sep 06 - 04:41 PM
GUEST 18 Sep 06 - 05:31 PM
Matt_R 18 Sep 06 - 06:10 PM
Joe_F 18 Sep 06 - 09:46 PM
RobbieWilson 19 Sep 06 - 05:46 AM
Genie 20 Sep 06 - 02:38 AM
Snuffy 20 Sep 06 - 09:12 AM
Genie 20 Sep 06 - 12:13 PM
Genie 05 Nov 06 - 01:44 AM
Declan 05 Nov 06 - 05:31 AM
Darowyn 05 Nov 06 - 06:49 AM
Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland 05 Nov 06 - 06:54 AM
Darowyn 05 Nov 06 - 09:07 AM
Dave the Gnome 05 Nov 06 - 09:14 AM
Charley Noble 05 Nov 06 - 09:57 AM
Flash Company 05 Nov 06 - 10:54 AM
McGrath of Harlow 05 Nov 06 - 11:06 AM
curmudgeon 05 Nov 06 - 11:37 AM
The Fooles Troupe 05 Nov 06 - 06:49 PM
GUEST,frogprod 05 Nov 06 - 07:02 PM
McGrath of Harlow 05 Nov 06 - 07:13 PM
GUEST,frogprod 05 Nov 06 - 07:47 PM
JennieG 05 Nov 06 - 09:31 PM
johnross 05 Nov 06 - 10:57 PM
leeneia 05 Nov 06 - 11:08 PM
Barbara 06 Nov 06 - 12:35 AM
leeneia 06 Nov 06 - 08:02 AM
GUEST,SqueezeMe 06 Nov 06 - 08:37 AM
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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 12:24 PM

Your lips were like wine (if you'll pardon the simile),
The music was lovely and quite Rudolf Friml'y*.

Tom Lehrer The Weiner Schnitzel Waltz

Giok


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: pdq
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 01:10 PM

...more great Tom Lehrer rhymes:

"Smut"

Give me smut and nothing but
A dirty novel I can't shut
If it's uncut
And unsubt-
Tle

I've never quibbled if it was ribald
I would devour where others merely nibbled
As the judge remarked the day that he
Acquitted my Aunt Hortense
"To be smut it must be ut-
Terly without redeeming social importance"

Especially dividing "ubsubtle" and "utterly". Amazing.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: rhyzla
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 03:41 PM

Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp?
Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?
Who put the bop in the bop sh-bop sh-bop?
Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip?
Who put the c*nt in Scunthorpe?


Anyone else heard this - or just me?

Sorry , it's got bugger all to do with rhyming!

BTW, Lehrer is king!!


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 03:46 PM

Most of these rhymes are quite brilliant.

I would unhesitatingly cast yet another vote for Neil Diamond's crass, cringeworthy, vomit-inducing " songs she brang to me ".

Nothing will ever come close to that for sheer ineptitude, imo.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 07:59 PM

And the final lines of the "Puffin Song" - inspired by 2 pictures om my Gp's wall.
"But if you leave it later on,
Instead of seeing puffin,
You'll find they've gone and flown the nest,
And so you'll just see.............Nuffin"


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Sep 06 - 08:49 PM

I think that Lorenz Hart had entirely too much fun with "Mountain Greenery" (1926):

    While you love your lover, let
    Blue skies be your coverlet
and
    Beans could get no keener re-
    Ception in a beanery
    Bless our mountain greenery home!
and
    Eat and you'll grow fatter, boy.
    S'matter boy?
    'Atta boy!
Garrison Keillor does some fun peculiarities with rhymes, too.
-Joe-


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: DoctorJug
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 02:51 AM

Imagine:

"You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one.
Perhaps one day you'll join us
And the world will live as one".

Cunning, rhyming "one" with "one".
The rest of the song sucks too.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: GUEST,sailorboy
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 04:45 AM

Living in the countryside is very nice
Looking in the hedgerow I see mice

From the Noel Redding solo album. Sometime Jimmy Hendrix bass player.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: chazkratz
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 09:41 AM

A couple of Ogden Nash's finest:

Little gamboling lamb
Do you know where you am?
In a patch of mint
I'll give you a hint
Scram, lamb.

When called by a panther
Don't anther

But what bugs me is when people use the indicative pronoun "I" in the objective, for the sake of a rhyme:

From "Aragon Mill," an otherwise fine song:

I'm too old to change and I'm too young to die
There's no place to go for my true love and I

Particularly when there's a perfectly good option:

We've no place to go, my true love and I

Charles


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: GUEST,thurg
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 04:45 PM

I would not assume 'the indicative pronoun "I" in the objective' is for the sake of rhyme; many if not most people do not know the correct use of "I" and "me", and furthermore, many if not most don't really care. And then there are certain dialects in which "I" is generally used rather than "me" in the objective (e.g., "Oh, never mind, I'll go and try,/Perhaps she might but fancy I").

I would think the bulk of traditional folk lyric would be painful for anyone who's disturbed by non-standard or just plain bad grammar.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Genie
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 05:43 PM

What Murray said.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Genie
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 05:58 PM

chazkratz, you just zeroed in on one of my pet peeves where rhymes are concerned: the resorting to bad grammar just to force the rhyme.

Neil Diamond's "brang" is a prime example, but almost forgiveable, because almost everyone knows it's wrong. But Paula Cole's hit song that starts
"Open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I ..."
is actually even worse, to me, because it reinforces an all-too-common error.
And it STILL doesn't rhyme! LOL

Sometimes, even if your lyrics mostly have a rhyme pattern, it's better to throw in a non-rhyming couplet than force the rhyme in a contortionist way that butchers your language.


But "mirror" paired with "clear," "beer," "cheer," etc. is fine with me, as in Dan Fogelberg's "Only The Heart May Know":
"... Silent tears, yesterday's mirrors,
Where are the summers, oh, where are the years?"


And I still adore the inventive, comical not-quite-rhymes and groaningly forced rhymes of such composers as Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, E Y Harburg, Johnny Mercer, etc.
E.g., another from "If I Only Had A Brain" (Harburg/Arlen):

"But I should show my prowess, be a lion not a meowess ..."

"And perhaps I'd deserve you
and be even worthy erv you,
If I only had a brain. "


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Matt_R
Date: 16 Sep 06 - 06:38 PM

THis one is lame and insulting:


Hot gingerbread and dynamite,
Boy, I drink nothing but that each night,
Back in Nagasaki where the fellows chew tobaccky
And the women wicky-wacky-woo!

Aw, man, how they entertain,
I mean, they hurry a hurricane.
Back in Nagasaki where the fellows chew tobaccky
And the women wicky-wacky-woo!

Fujiama, got a mama,
Then your troubles increase, boy!
It's a bottle in a, bottle in a, bottle in a, bottle in a,
bottle in a Nagasaki!

They hug and kiss each night,
By jingo, boys, worth that price!
Back in Nagasaki where the fellows chew tobaccky
And the women wicky-wacky-woo!

Back in Nagasaki where the fellows chew tobaccky
And the women wicky-wacky-woo!


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: GUEST,RolyPoly from Oly
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 01:01 AM

I was playing a song on my radio show one night about fifteen years ago, a serious love song about Mexico. Whoever it was doing the vocals dropped "cherish" on top of "mujeres". I stopped the song at that point and said that though my show was not all that serious, I wasn't about to allow that!
Maybe somebody else heard it too, and can tell me who it was, because he had other rhymes that were just as awful before I pulled the plug.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: alanabit
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 02:54 AM

"The cit's clamour could never spoil
The dreams of a boy and goil..." was definitely not one of Lorenz Hart's better efforts. I know it is a take off of a New York accent, but it was beyond even Ella Fitzgerald to make it sound right.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Snuffy
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 07:11 PM

But "mirror" paired with "clear," "beer," "cheer," etc. is fine with me, as in Dan Fogelberg's "Only The Heart May Know":

So is "red" rhymed with "blue" OK with you as well?


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Genie
Date: 17 Sep 06 - 09:09 PM

Only if "red" and "blue" are pronounced as rhymes in the common parlance of a lot of people.   

Some say "love" doesn't actually rhyme with "of," either, but the way a lot of people talk, it does.

I'm used to pronouncing "whales" and "wales" decidedly differently. People in some regions don't.

Anyway, as several people have acknowledged, near-rhymes often work just fine in songs.
I certainly don't mind "little" being coupled with "middle."


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: GUEST,Jim
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 12:15 PM

Genie said (s)he doesn't mind near rhymes and I agree. Some times bad rhymes make a good song work. Fred Eaglesmith is one songwriter who puts the story ahead of the rhyme and it works (for me). The song HAROLD WILSON comes to mind.

I had me a place on Thunder Ridge in a doomsday shack
My wife she left and took the kids a couple of years back
And I spent most of my mornings just thinking about that
And my afternoons tryin' to figure out what to plant.

While "shack" and "back" are rhymes, "that" also seems to work fine.

******************************************************

They sold that farm to some fool for six cents on the dollar.
I saw him out ther last week; I's on the way to visit my daughter.

Works for me.
*******************************************************

The government cheques come down the pike as regular as rain.
I sit out here most every night 'cept when the June bugs drive me in.

Also works for me.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Genie
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 12:56 PM

Good examples, Jim.

Let's not forget that it's been common in song and poetry for a long time to couple ending words that are SPELLED as though they'd rhyme but DON'T actually - at least not in contemporary practice.

E.g., we Yanks think nothing of pairing "rain" with "again," even though we who live south of the Canadian border don't pronounce them as rhyming words.

Going back to the Chris Williamson thing of "rhyming" the words "warrior" and "bore ya," while I think that may be the weakest line in "Song Of The Soul," the way Chris sings it -- the way most of us often talk -- it DOES rhyme.   

Leonard Cohen, for example, uses all sorts of 'rhyming slang' (and near-rhymes) all the way through his (IMO) masterpiece "Hallelujah! E.g., "before I knew ya," "someone who outdrew ya," etc.      

What did annoy me and grate on me is when some people reprinted Chris Williamson's lyrics as:
"Come to your life like a warrior.
Nothing will bore YER."   
Now THAT is gawdawful!!


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: 282RA
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 01:16 PM

I think the band America was a study in horrible lyrics:

"I understand you've been running from a man who goes by the same of the sand man/
He rides the sky like an eagle in the eye of a hurricane that's abandoned"

I mean, come on! And that became a hit!

"I been through the desert on a horse with no name it felt good to be out of the rain/
In the desert you can't remember your name cuz there ain't no one for to give you no fame"

GAG!

"Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man that he didn't, didn't already have/
And cause never was the reason for the evening or the Tropic of Sir Galahad"

Whaaaaaaaat???

Go through the lyrics of any America song, if you dare, it's all like that.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: 282RA
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 01:28 PM

Has anyone ever attempted to rhyme "postcard" with "coast guard"?


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 04:02 PM

Rhyming "mirror" with "cheer, beer, fear, tear etc is not so strange once you have watched any of Anne Maurice's "House Doctor" programmes.

"Well, Alasdair, we're going to put a huge meer above the mantelpiece to create the illusion of space "


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Severn
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 04:41 PM

The members of America all met going to school in Britain, didn't they? A friend claims to have been to school with a few of them. Real Americans don't use English like that!


Uniformly horrible stuff. Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young as programmed by Reader's digest, but with bad grammar.


"Asta never gave nothin' to the Thin Man that Sir Galla hadn't already had", indeed.

...Or whatever the Hell that drivel was....


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 05:31 PM

The Hash (rugby, too?) version of "Bicycle Built for Two" has an extremely force one:

Daisy, Daisy! Give me your answer true
Daisy, Daisy! Wouldn't you like to screw
I really must beg your pardon
But I've got a helluva hard on

From beatin' my meat
Against the seat
Of a bicycle built for two

Obviously it needed a second verse for Daisy's reply. So I wrote one ... with just as bad a rhyme in the same place:

Henry, Henry! Here is your answer true.
I'd be crazy to jump in the sack with you
Your hard-on is so disgustin'
It's limp and has a crust on.

I wouldn't be pleased
To get a disease
From a bicycle built for two

Sorry, I know I'm sick and twisted! *BG*

BB,
NightWing


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Matt_R
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 06:10 PM

I like America, and yes, a lot of their songs have goofy lyrics. But most don't and are excellent.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Joe_F
Date: 18 Sep 06 - 09:46 PM

He was a sawmill proprietor,
And she a young maid yet unkissed.
One evening he winked his glass eye at her,
But she said, "Nay, nay, sir! Desist!" -- "Vera"


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: RobbieWilson
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 05:46 AM

Tw'as there in the bakery
surrounded by fakery

As sung by E Clapton in " Sign Language"
( you talk o me in sign language
while I'm eating a sandwich"

It's not the sounds, tonal quality, matching syllables that make a crap rhyme it's the use of a completely inappropriate word in the context soley because it rhymes which makes the rhyme crap.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Genie
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 02:38 AM

I pretty much agree, Robbie.

I'm sick of certain overused, unimaginative, "easy" rhymes, such as
"I'll keep waiting,
Anticipating ... "

and bad grammar done just to force the rhyme, e.g.

"Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.
O no, no, no you can't disguise ... "

or "Hungry Eyes,
One look at you and I can't disguise ..."

(Disguise WHAT!!??)

or "Hungry Eyes,
I feel the magic between you and I ... "


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Snuffy
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 09:12 AM

If we're going by the standard that it's the use of a completely inappropriate word in the context solely because it rhymes which makes the rhyme crap, then this must qualify as one of MacColl's less glorious efforts:
The old ways are passing and soon will be gone
And progress is aye a big factor
It's sent to afflict us and when they evict us
They tow us away wi a tractor
As for rhyming "platic with "baskets", any comment of mine would be superfluous.
Farewell to the blossom and besoms of broom
Farewell tae the creels and the baskets
The folk of today would far rather pay
For a thing that is made oot o plastic
I don't think either of these were intentionally bad, but even the greatest writers have their off days.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Genie
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 12:13 PM

Yeah, snuffy, they could've at least tried to work in a word like "gasket" instead. ;)

Of course, the vocabularily-stumped* would-be rhymer can always fall back on the clever device used by many a troubadour and by Paul Simon in "Mrs. Robinson":

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.
Jesus loves you more than you should know
Oh oh oh

What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson?
Joltin Joe has left and gone away
Hey hey hey.

I actually love this song, including that sort of 'cheap rhyme', but it probably only works in a song that's a bit tongue-in-cheek.


*OK, I made that word up. Sue me.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Genie
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 01:44 AM

It just occurred to me today that one of my favorite CCR songs has this 'rhyming' gem:

Dinosaur Victrola
Listening to Buck Owens ...


Yup, that rhymes! LOL


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Declan
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 05:31 AM

It never rains in California,
but girl let me warn ya

I once wrote a song that never saw the light of day about a particular night out in Dublin. There was a very drunken man reciting "poetry" on the night in question. The verse went something like:

"The poet was stretched out all over the table,
To recite his poetry, he barely was able,
His poem spoke of women, It seems he'd his bed full,
I quite liked his verse, but his rhyming was dreadful"


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Darowyn
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 06:49 AM

I don't think that anyone should whinge about what I call regional rhymes. Rhyming mirror with beer would be terrible if I did it, but if it was a song from say Kentucky or Tennessee, it would probably be a genuine rhyme. You'd prbably get away with rhyming squirrel with girl too.
In "I want to hold your hand", the Beatles rhyme "I think it's only fair" with "apologise to her". That is a true rhyme in Liverpool to this day.
In my own house, my wife Wendy could rhyme book with spook, where coming from the opposite side of the Pennines, I would rhyme book with luck.
I add my disdain for Neil Diamond's "brang", and as an example of the way in which perfect rhyming can be destructive and unintentionally comic, Billy Braggs lines go:-
"I've always heard it said that love is based on understanding,
Until that's true you'll find your stuff all stacked out on the landing "
(Actually it might not be entirely unintentional here)
Cheers
Dave


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Tom Hamilton frae Saltcoats Scotland
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 06:54 AM

this is about Scots whisky


Leave Us Our Glens
       (George Donald / Buff Hardie)
       I love Scotland's glens, and whatever else we lose
       Please leave us our glens, our glorious glens
       Our mountains as grand, Ben Nevis, Ben Lomond too
       You can have all those bens, but leave us our glens
       Glenfiddich, Glendronach, Glenlivet, Glen Grant
       Can you do without them? If you must know, I can't
       Put a drop in the glass of Glen Spey or Glen Drotter
       It's a perfectly bearable way to drink water
       I'd willingly lose our culture, or most of it
       Including that mess they call 'full Highland dress'
       With the whole ethnic bit of haggis and Hogmanay
       I'd gladly dispense, but leave us our glens
       Glenfiddich, Glendronach, Glenlivet, Glen Fall
       I once knew a man who had sampled them all
       Glenisla, Glenugie, Glenkinchie, that's plenty
       He looked sixty-five, but in fact he was twenty
       Take our Highlands scottische, take our marches, strathspeys and reels
       Take our old Scottish waltz, but leave us our malts
       You can take, if you wish, our ladies' conveniences
       And our gentlemen's - but leave us our glens
       Glenfiddich, Glendronach, Glenlivet, Glenfyne
       Was great at communion when we ran out of wine
       Glenisla, Glenugie, Glenkinchie, Glenmorangie
       I prefer them to Quantro which I find too orangey
       Oh breathe there a Scot whose aims and priorities
       When laid on the line, are different from mine
       Take our homes, take our jobs, take anything else you will
       Wife, family and friends, but leave us our glens
       (as sung by Iain MacKintosh)

      Susanne´s Folksong-Notizen
       [1987:] Buff Hardie (lyrics), George Donald (music). Written in 1975.
       (Hardie / Robertson / Donald, Scotland the What? Collected sketches and
       songs, Gordon Wright Publ., Edinburgh)
       [1995:] Glenmorangie [...] has a special kind of floweriness, a delicate
       yet unmistakeable fragrance, that I find extremely attractive. It is
       bottled at 70°, ten years old, and [...] is what I would call an all-
       purpose whisky. It is equally good as a pre- prandial and as a post-
       prandial drink, and I confess I have drunk it at many other times as
       well. There is a Glenmorangie which I have drunk at the distillery which
       is older and more full- bodied than that which is available bottled,
       possessing more richness and less delicacy than the latter. It goes for
       blending, of course [...].
       At its best, Smith's Glenlivet combines a teasing subtlety of flavour
       with a distinctive 'nose' and fullness. These are not always
       sufficiently in evidence when bottled too young, but the firm's own
       bottling, twelve years old at 80°, gives one everything that could be
       desired in this noble whisky. I have tasted a Glenlivet put in cask in
       1941 and bottled (by Berry Brothers & Rudd) in 1958, and the only note
       on it which I entered in my whisky scrap- book after the first glass was
       simply 'a superb whisky'. But later experience of comparing different
       ages and proofs leads me to believe that additional age over twelve
       years does not add all that much in quality and (within limits, of
       course) a twelve- year- old at a higher proof tastes better than an
       older whisky at a lower proof. But the twelve- year- old is decidedly
       better than anything younger. [...]
       How does Glenlivet compare with Glen Grant? In general character they
       are not dissimilar: each has that smooth integration of peatiness,
       softness and full sweetness (or almost sweetness) that needs age to
       bring it out. Like Glenlivet, Glen Grant is conspicuously better at ten
       or, better still, twelve years old than at, say, five (and it is
       available at five years old). There is a sharpness about a young Glen
       Grant that belies its true potential. [...] A well- matured Glen Grant
       has a splendid smoothness: it is not, perhaps, such a complexly
       patterned whisky in the combination of 'nose', taste and after- taste
       that is found in Glenlivet at its best, being a more single- minded
       whisky, as it were. [...]
       Glenfiddich [...] has a pleasing dry fragrance [...]. Glenkinchie, which
       so far as I know is not available as a single whisky but of which I have
       a sample bottle from an Edinburgh blending firm [...] is a very
       agreeable whisky, slightly sweeter and perhaps just a trifle sharper
       than Rosebank. (Daiches, Scotch Whisky. Its Past and Present 170ff)
       [1998:] Written for 'Scotland the What?' 'Glen Drotter' is probably a
       made up name in order to get the rhyme. (Pr. comm., ICM)

Quelle: Scotland
   L-Index


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Darowyn
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 09:07 AM

Oops- it's "She Loves You" not "I want to Hold Your Hand"
Cheers
Dave


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 09:14 AM

Both from the Turtles - although I do believe they did it on purpose. Or should that be on porpoise? Oh , never mind.

I realy think you're groovy
Lets go out to a movie

further along

Your lips intoxicate me
even though your folks hate me

and, the chorus. Not strictly a rhyme but the worse example of fitting a meter in badly

Elenor, gee, I think your swell
and you realy do me well
you're my pride and joy etcetera

They don't write 'em like that any more.

:D (tG)


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 09:57 AM

From my song "Cowardly Act":

The truth would surely challenge the most bizarre criteria –
That cow'd been rustled by Russians from her pasture in Siberia.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Flash Company
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 10:54 AM

Johnnie Mercer was responsible for this one, so politically incorrect you couldn't sing it now:-

The other girls can go to Europe, and mix in high society,
And they can wed a Count or Marquis,
Or a Russian, or a darky,
But when I get married, and settle in Brooklyn,
He may be a hobo, a hick or a rueben,
But he has to be a Cuban!

FC


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 11:06 AM

Several distinct reason why people say somethings a "bad rhyme".

One is where the words in question just don't rhyme. But sometimes this criticism is misplaced, because in English there are a wide variety of varieties of rhyme, and the "perfect rhyme" is only one of these - and not always the best one to use.

A too perfect and predictable rhyme can in fact come across as trite. And in fact some of the examples of "bad rhymes" offered up in this thread fall into that category - perfect but trite.

And there are perfect rhymes which are in a way the opposite of that - they are so unexpected they come across as forced and over artificial. Which is OK as a comic device, but lianbkle to be disastrous in other contexts.

And there are rhymes which work in some accents/dialects, but not in the one used by the critic. (I'd say that "warrior" and "bore ya" probably fall that category, since many Americans do seem to pronounce "warrior" as "wore-ya" where the English would say worr-ya.)
..................
One way of getting away with a rhyme using an unusual word, when you don't want it to sound comic, is to use the unusual word first, and the common word as the rhyme, rather than the other way round.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: curmudgeon
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 11:37 AM

Tequila Sheila by Shel Silverstein --

"I never thought you were a squeeler,
Sheiler"

Linn (Bat Goddess) forgot to change from Tom's cookie and don't have time now


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 06:49 PM

McGonigal has already been mentioned. That should have killed the thread....


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: GUEST,frogprod
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 07:02 PM

on the subject of America's lyrics: while it has nothing to do with rhyme, it IS one of the worst lines of all time - "the heat was hot"


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 07:13 PM

Unless "the heat" meant "the police". (I'm not saying it does in that line, since I don't know the context - but sometimes words aren't that straightforward.)


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: GUEST,frogprod
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 07:47 PM

well, the words all seem to refer to weather and nature, so I presume it refers to temperature rather than police... and, come to think of it, there is at least one very bad rhyme in there - "clouds" and "sound"... it's from A HORSE WITH NO NAME

On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: JennieG
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 09:31 PM

I'm with Genie above - I reckon Leonard Cohen's rhymes in 'Hallelulia' are execrable. They make me grit my teeth and flinch whenever I hear them.

Cheers
JennieG


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: johnross
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 10:57 PM

From "The State of Illinois"
(or as it appears in Sandburg's "American SOngbag," El-a-noy)

Away up in the northward,
Right on the border line,
A great commercial city,
Chicago, you will find.
Her men are all like Abelard,
Her women like Heloise;
All honest, virtuous people,
For they live in Illinois.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: leeneia
Date: 05 Nov 06 - 11:08 PM

From "As we march-ed down to Fenario" --

I love you most of all, Captain Willie-o,
I love you most of all, Captain Willie-o,
I love you most of all, but your fortune is too small.
I'm afraid that my mother would be angry-o.

Eh?

I have folk-processed this abject lack of rhyme to a merely clumsy rhyme by changing Willie to Danny. How much you wanna bet it was Danny originally?


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: Barbara
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 12:35 AM

Tom Lehrer:
"I love her and she loves me
And happy are the both of we"

Of course he is spoofing Gilbert and Sullivan's style. It's from the song where he sings "Clementine " in the manner of a number of famous composers.

Blessings,
Barbara


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: leeneia
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 08:02 AM

Whether he's spoofing or not, Barbara, you're right that that is an awful rhyme.


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Subject: RE: worst rhyme ever
From: GUEST,SqueezeMe
Date: 06 Nov 06 - 08:37 AM

Used to play in an Aussie bush band who opened their show with a song containing the immortal lines:

"We play our music to entertain ya
The songs and music of Austra-ya"

Shear poetry!

MC


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