BS: Mudcat Low Dive

Subject: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 04:58 AM

Come on in to the dark, seedy underbelly of life, a hothouse of dissidents, revolutionaries, shady characters, misfits and life's losers.
Pulling up a chair might not be the best of ideas, can't really tell in the light.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST,slither
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:02 AM

Room for me to crawl on my belly?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:09 AM

What beer do they have ?

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:16 AM

Whatever doesn't spill on the floors.

Yes, you can crawl on your belly, but you might bump into the other clientelle.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Kaleea
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:25 AM

I never cared for beer, what else ya got?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST,slither
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:27 AM

Then I will stick to the ceiling. MMMMmmm all that stale smoke I can hardly wait.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:31 AM

I'll have a Turkey Turd Ale, 'keep. And, why do you keep switching the lights on and off?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST,slither
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:37 AM

Sorry it's my tail. Can someone set me up a very long straw to the slops tray?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 06:05 AM

Kaleea, the less asked....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST,slither
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 06:33 AM

What's that smell? I'm not complaining, just wondering.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 07:13 AM

Revolution in the air... (one hopes)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: gnomad
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 07:44 AM

Ahaa, finally the Tavern shows its dark side, think I could fit in here.

Pass a slop tray someone, I've got my own syphon tube for the beer, but I want to have some means of keeping my nuts (edible) from getting mixed with my nuts (personal) if you see what I mean. Hickory smoked almonds, mmm.

Is that jello I feel dripping through the ceiling? Could add a certain something to the flavours down here, but I think I need another slop tray for a lid.

The lot upstairs are giving it some welly, but they are going to have a serious panic if that tea urn starts the jello pit above boiling, better turn it off and stick to appropriately low forms of refreshemnt. Aaah, Riggwelter, that will do nicely, I'll just tape the syphon to my cheek, then I can use both hands to feel around..... how many doors are there?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST,slither
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 07:48 AM

Not sure. I came in stuck to someones shoe.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Emma B
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 07:53 AM

did someone mention Riggwelter? Oh dear I thought you meant the beer, will someone help that poor sheep to her feet....oops sorry didn't notice the wellies!
It's nice to find a home from home here I knew it all looked familiar...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: gnomad
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 08:11 AM

Don't tell me one of these doors leads to a valley full of sheep? Better baa it quick or the place will be full of druids singing about saucepans, they are attracted to low dives, I think it's the darkness that does it.

That dripping tastes fishy to me, think we could make some sort of soup out of it if we drag the tea urn to one side a bit? I think that barrel of Riggwelter must be faulty, or someone has got to it before me, either way my syphon isn't flowing any more, I'll have a rummage and see what else this place holds.

.. Hmm, sacks, tacks, portwine tub (phew dunno what THAT's had in it, better put it in the soup or we'll never sell it to the discerning gourmet crowd upstairs)... what's that knocking sound at the door?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Micca
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 08:14 AM

all together now, drunkenly, in several keys

" as soon as this pub closes
as soon as this pub closes
as soon as this pub clooooooses
The Revolution starts
we'll shoot the Aristocracy
and confiscate their brass
and start a new democracy
thats Really Working Class"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 10:00 AM

Good one!

Perhaps it's time the beard went. I look like a failed Dubliner.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Peace
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 10:26 AM

"Come on in to the dark, seedy underbelly of life, a hothouse of dissidents, revolutionaries, shady characters, misfits and life's losers."

And your point is . . . ?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: kendall
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 10:38 AM

He don't need no steeengking point.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:09 AM

1) A bit of a laugh.
2) An alternative to the Tavern.
3) No point really.

Take your pick.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST,slither
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:42 AM

4) There's low life in here in need of a drink. I'm shedding skin you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:52 AM

TMI

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: gnomad
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:56 AM

Well,it was firemen at the door, but I didn't let them in (as instructed) til it's all mopped up, which could be quite a long time unless somebody actually starts mopping. Not offering, of course, it wouldn't be a proper dive if somebody kept cleaning it. They were asking about a cow, but didn't seem imterested when offered sheep, said it wasn't done, or something.

Do we do sedition down here? I just ask 'cause it sounds like it might be fitting, only I don't know how to start; this could be my first sedition. Does this mean it will attract collectors offering ridiculous prices in 50 years time?

Oh, and could whoever it was please shout "Mackintyre" again, but a bit louder, it seems to worry the be-sheeted sheep worriers, makes 'em think there's some competition.

Now then, where did I leave that syphon? If there's no more Riggwelter I'll make do with Bishop's Finger...and nuts, got to have nuts,soon.

It's gone awfully quiet upstairs, not a sound since that guy without a banjo went up. Hope they're alright and haven't burned the place down or anything daft like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: PoppaGator
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 02:02 PM

White port and lemon juice, please, and a cardboard carton to sleep in later.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 02:10 PM

I think there is more "sedation" going on then "sedition" - If you'll notice there is a large tank of tranquilizer with a rat-tail siphon leading into the beer taps!

And someone needs to do *some* mopping up at least - based on what seems to be oozing out from under the door of the ladies loo!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST,slither
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 02:13 PM

Sorry that's me.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 02:28 PM

well, pulll yourself together!

I've heard of sloppy drunks - but never seen one quite so sloppy!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 02:52 PM

Our motto is "no shirt, no tie, no worries".

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Megan L
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:00 PM

gnomad pit that damned tea urn back ya wee nyafff i wis jist stertin tae bru ma cog in it. now whaur did i pit the recipe ah here we go

3.5lt (6 pints) Real Ale
1 bottle Whisky
1 bottle Rum
½ bottle Brandy
½ bottle Port
½ bottle Gin or Vodka
600ml - 1.2lt (1-2 pints) Stout
Sugar
Mixed Spice

Place the ale and stout into a large saucepan and heat gently, but do not allow to boil.
When heated add sugar to taste and allow to dissolve.
Add the spirits and mixed spice to taste.
(Keep tasting until it is 'just right'.)
Heat very gently, but do not allow to boil.
Pour into a large punch bowl or cog.

Note: A cog is round barrel-like wooden container with handles traditional in the Orkneys.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Megan L
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:06 PM

ok folks one wooden bcket comming your way

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:23 PM

From France we do get brandy, from Jamaica it's rum,
Sweet oranges and lemons from Portugal come;
But stout, ale and cider are England's control,
Bring me the punch ladle, we'll fathom the bowl.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: MBSLynne
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:36 PM

*MBSLynne sidles cautiously into the low dive. Hmmmm.....it's a bit hard to see what's going on in this dim light. Interesting smell..... She makes her way towards the bar, rapping her tankard across the knuckles of the claw-like hand that reaches towards her as she passes. "I'll have a rough scrumpy please barman.." her eyes have become a little more accustomed to the gloom. What IS that woman over there wearing? ER...if it IS a woman that is. And what are those three doing??? Looks like it could be an interesting place to pass a bit of time. she takes a swig of the liquid in the tankard..."Gasp splutter cough aaaagh cough...Now that's what I call ROUGH!" Think I'll just lean here against the bar and see who turns up.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Megan L
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:39 PM

Chicken livered lot no one brave enough to try ma cog ok thats it.

*heads of to lower basement this place is to highbrow for me.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:42 PM

Ahhhh, smoooooth, Megan. But, the name of this delight?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Emma B
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:43 PM

oh dear Lynne that cider comes complete with Dead Dog! and for heavens sake just where has that bishop got his finger?
I'll just have a quart of Fallen Angel please.......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Megan L
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:49 PM

ach gnu its just a little something we pass round at weddings jist tae keep oot the cauld :)

someone might have told me they stored the spare jello in the lower basement

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 04:05 PM

Pour me a large Little Something. And, a cardboard carton, please... I'll be over in the corner, talking to Poppa.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Charley Noble
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 04:28 PM

Well, first I lost silver and then I lost gold,
And then I lost consciousness so I was told;
And when I awoke things had gone amiss,
I'd always been told I would end up like this:
There was blood and a body and bottles galore,
Lying right next to me there on the floor;
I said, "Constable, please, I'm an innocent man!"
As he pried the revolver from out of me hand...

This place makes a fella watchful, and a little lonely.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Charmion
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 04:50 PM

The door is greasy even on the outside. Inside, the floor starts to be sticky right at the threshold, and the walls and ceiling are brown with nicotine. Peering through the gloom and cigarette smoke I can see the bar, decorated with the traditional gallon jars of pickled eggs and Vienna sausage (not together -- even here). The tables are even stickier than the floor, and each is covered with finger-marked glasses that used to hold the viper's piss they call draft beer in these parts. Twenty cents a glass, six for a dollar, traditionally ordered in pairs (hold up two fingers).

Everyone sits in this joint -- no leaning on the bar -- 'cause folks around here can't be trusted where they can reach the till or the beer taps. Some stare at the television set bolted to the wall, which shows the last decent game the Habs played, back when Lafleur was still flying. Others glower at each other across the table, drinking steadily and keeping up a low buzz of guy chat. A bunch of submariners getting stotius at the front table have almost reached the raucous singing stage. From the back I hear the click of billiard balls as yet another new guy in town gets fleeced by the house expert.

Ahhh, I'm back. It's been a while. I wonder if I can find a spot against the wall ... Yes, thank you; I'll have two draft.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:27 PM

Thread drift, my apologies. Charmion... hats off. I've had an ale or threeteen in every East Coast slophouse from Nain, Labrador to Bar Harbor, Maine, and you just described the best of them. Thanks for the memories. And, BTW, Guy was my guy, oui Goddamn, but I remember Jean and Yvon and Da Pocket Rocket and...

'Keep... more glue here. My round. We gotta keep these memories stuck to our minds, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: MBSLynne
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:34 PM

So what's to eat around here? And do I dare? This smoke doesn't smell like tobacco.... A stranger is approaching......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Emma B
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 07:05 PM

It is.......It isn't.........It is.......It can't be........
It is!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: ranger1
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 07:16 PM

Huh? (looks behind her) I was just looking for a Yudew. Does anyone in this dive know how to make one?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: sixtieschick
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 07:26 PM

How do you get there from here?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: gnomad
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 08:16 PM

You just click your heels and wish.

Food, what happened to my nuts, I'm sure they were just here when I left 'em to try that there cog? Aah, here we are, two slop trays together, and inside, oops sorry to disturb you at such a moment, didn't know hamsters did that sort of thing even in private. It sure is powerful stuff that cog.

A moment or two to collect my thoughts, and other stray bits, then refreshment, wonder if they've got any Rhattarse left, if it's a bit past its best that'll be OK, I'm sure I won't notice once the syphon is working properly. Maybe I need to lie down, that should increase the flow.

Nope, it's no good, if I want to lie down I'll just have to get down on hands and knees first, can't slide down a wall that sticks to you like that. That's better.

ZZZ..zzz..zzz...Erk! That was just getting good and I've remembered the squid jello soup, with port and unidentified flavouring, well there it is; hot and faintly cheesy...I'm not sure the gourmets will go for this. Oh stuff it, seven hours on a very low light, top it off with toasted cheese and a foreign-sounding name, they'll think it's something special. In fact it is, I'm just not quite sure what it is, or whether it's safe.

Think I'll just doss down in this barrel here, that should keep off the worst of the drips.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Charmion
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 09:23 PM

I'm gonna have one a them cackleberries to restore my strenth after struggling through all eight hundred and whatever messages on the I Quit thread ...

Two more draft, a pickled egg, and a double order of fries with gravy! That oughta do 'er.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 03:31 AM

AH!! I wondered where the smell was coming from.... I was all for blaming the dog but even HE got up and walked away!

Now can anyone tell me how I get my foot out of this... it's not nice for a girl wearing sandals.... still, it flows out as easily as it flowed in.... mostly.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 05:59 AM

Sandals? Sandals? Do you want to be mugged or something? Most of the clientelle go barefoot and think themselves lucky....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: GUEST,slither
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 07:28 AM

Wake me up when the revolution atarts.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Low Dive
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 07:38 AM

The tart revolution has started. But, let slither sleep it foo.