Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!

Subject: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 07:25 AM

As a certain Aussie folksinger sang "Never let a chance go by"...



http://www.twincities.com/mld/pioneerpress/news/local/12071165.htm

        Posted on Thu, Jul. 07, 2005

Organizers cancel Whorehouse Days

Organizers of Whorehouse Days, scheduled for this weekend in Gilbert, Minn., have canceled the controversial festival because the City Council refused to rent any city buildings for the event.

Festival organizers decided on the catchy name earlier this year to
capitalize on certain aspects of the history of Gilbert, an Iron Range town of 1,800 people about 180 miles north of St. Paul. The city got quite a reputation during the years of Prohibition as a place where booze and other vices could be had for money, festival organizers have said.

The Gilbert City Council, however, was not amused and voted against renting city buildings for the festival. Many business owners and city leaders protested the idea of such a festival, despite assurances from organizers events would be G-rated.

In announcing the cancellation of the event on the Whorehouse Days Web site, www.whorehousedays.com, organizers said they believe they are being discriminated against and noted that the City Council rents the buildings to many other groups, including some that aren't even from Gilbert.

The festival Web site indicated organizers hope to hold the event next year.

— Pioneer Press

... and I thought a Vice-President was a President of Vice...

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 08:31 AM

"I went into a whorehouse I used to frequent
But the council's decided it's no longer for rent.
No I couldn't credit the things that they say -
Australian history's being driven away...

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 08:45 AM

Whorehouse Days have come and gone,
Left us here to sing this song;
Whorehouse Days have come and gone,
Left us here to sing this song!

Who's been here since I've been gone?
Pretty little girl with a red dress on;
Pretty little girl with a red dress on,
Left us here to sing this song!

Must be a jillion verses!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 08:46 AM

ahem, 'Gilbert, Minn.' is not in Australia. We don't have any Minn.'s - we have Qld, NSW, Vic, ACT, Tas, SA, NT & WA but never a Minn.

not that we don't have good whore(house) songs here -

Mudcatter Jack Halyard is building a house for his "Kitty Kane" in his new railway setting. I'm sure I have a picture & now that I have the scanner's idiosyncracys worked out (scan, scan, ignore the crash, scan, ignore the next crash, scan, etc) I might send Jeff some more pics (one day)

sandra

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: GUEST,Bainbo
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 08:52 AM

There is a house in Gilbert, Minn.,
They call the Rising Sun.
But if you go, you won't get in -
We don't like that kind of fun.

Incidentally, couldn't they convince the council the event was to be called WAREHOUSE days, and then deliberately-on-purpose misprint the banners?

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: GUEST,Bainbo
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 08:53 AM

That should be acidentally-on-purpose! Does that make any more sense?

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: Flash Company
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 09:31 AM

Oh the Councillors and the Madams should be friends,
Oh the Councillors and the Madams should be friends,
One taxes you to get his kicks,
The other gets hers from turning tricks,
But thats no reason why they can't be friends!

Minnesota folks should stick together,
Minnesota folks should all be pals,
Councillors should be nice to the Hookers,
Ten to one they're the Councillors gals!

FC

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: Genie
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 02:54 PM

NO WHORES IN MINNESOTA
Parody lyrics: Genie
Original lyrics: Okie From Muskogee
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chorus:
"We don't have whore fairs in Minnesota.
No place for Gilbert squares to have their ball.
Music festival's tied up down at the courthouse:
City Council just won't hire the hall!


(I'll post the verses later if I come up with some.)

Genie

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: Genie
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 03:53 PM

GILBERT, MINNESOTA
Parody lyrics: Genie
Music (and original lyrics): Merle Haggard

Our forebears built this town on prostitution,
Hootch, and other vice, back in the day.
But it's our City Council that's the whore now
Sellin' out to outside strangers just for pay.

Our forebears built this town on prostitution,
Hootch, and other vice, back in the day.
But it's our City Council that's the whore now
Sellin' out to any stranger who can pay.

1st Chorus:
I'm pissed to be from Gilbert, Minnesota
A place where squares can't even throw a ball.
Whorehouse festival's tied up down at the court house:
City Council just won't rent the hall.

Leather whips weren't on the menu for the festival
Free love and Roman scandals weren't the scene.
Hip-hop was the roughest thing we planned on
And the kids are here, so we'd have kept it clean.

We can't make a party with no venue.
Whorehouse Days can't find a place to rent.
Seems our fearless leaders are too stodgy.
Wonder if they'd let us pitch a tent?

2nd Chorus:
I'm pissed to be from Gilbert, Minnesota
A place where squares can't even throw a ball.
Whorehouse festival's tied up down at the court house:
Guess we'll have to ttry it in St. Paul!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 04:36 PM

Well done - don't let me stop you!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: Genie
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 05:01 PM

Thanks, Foolestroop, but
Oops!

I accidentally posted the second verse twice and left out the first verse.

Here's the whole thing as it should have been posted:

Gilbert, Minnesota
Parody lyrics: Genie
Music (Okie From Muskogee) and original lyrics): Merle Haggard

No more Whorehouse Days in Minnesota
Even though our rating was a "G"
We don't plan no orgy down on Main Street.
We just took the name to honor history.

Our forebears built this town on prostitution,
Hootch, and other vice, back in the day.
But it's our City Council that's the whore now
Sellin' out to outside strangers just for pay.

Chorus
I'm pissed to be from Gilbert, Minnesota
A place where squares can't even throw a ball.
Whorehouse festival's tied up down at the court house:
City Council just won't rent the hall.

Leather whips weren't on the menu for the festival
Free love and Roman scandals weren't the scene.
Hip-hop was the roughest thing we planned on
And the kids are here, so we'd have kept it clean.

We can't make a party with no venue.
Whorehouse Days can't find a place to rent.
Seems our fearless leaders are too stodgy.
Wonder if they'd let us pitch a tent?

Chorus
I'm pissed to be from Gilbert, Minnesota
A place where squares can't even throw a ball.
Whorehouse festival's tied up down at the court house:
Guess we'll have to take it to St. Paul!


Genie

(Maybe an alert Joe clone will substitute this complete version for my messed up post and delete this post.)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: Peace
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 05:01 PM

Genie--that is great. LOL. Funny and with excellent political commentary. Bravo.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: Genie
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 05:15 PM

Thanks, Peace.

Think I should send it to Garrison Keillor (who loves Minnesota jokes -- especially St. Paul jokes)? ;-)

Heck, maybe we should just email him the link to the whole thread!

Genie

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 06:24 PM

Genie-

Indeed, ship it off to Garrison.

Incidently, whould you be interested in joining me for a music gathering in Seattle in August? It's not that far from Portland.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: thespionage
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 06:36 PM

I would love to hear one of the songs on A Prairie Home Companion, or at least have Garrison mention it.

Russ

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: No More Whorehouse!
From: Genie
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 09:29 PM

OK, I'll email the thread link to Garrison. (So youse guys get busy and give us some more Minniesawda songs for this challenge, OK?)

Charlie, just let me know when you're coming to Seattle.   If you can make it on the right weekend, have I got a jam for you!

Also, our Portland just sent a folkie buddy of mine (guitar & mando player) out to your Portland, and he's looking to connect with the folk scene down East.   I'll PM you his e-dress as soon as I figure out where I put it.

Genie