BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MMario
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 08:34 AM

Beer, beer, beer for the women
a merry wench is she!
There's none so fair as can compare
with Liz who is squeeky!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 05:41 PM

WOMAN NEED BEER!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 01:16 PM

I used all it's ink writing sonnets- it has been keeping away from me, recently...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 05:02 AM

This place is turning into a singaround.... WHERE'S THE SQUID GODDAMIT!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 01:07 AM

I don't have a tune in me head, but I'd like a Crown Royal in my gut!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 16 Aug 05 - 12:03 AM

He remembers the first time he met her
He remembers the first thing she said
He remembers the first time he held her
And the night that she came to his bed

He remembers her sweet way of saying
"Honey has something gone wrong?"
He remembers the fun and the teasing
And the reason he wrote her this song.

I'll give you a daisy a day, dear
I'll give you a daisy a day
I'll love you until the rivers run still
And the four winds we know blow away.

They would walk down the street in the evening
And for years I would see them go by
And their love that was more
than the clothes that they wore
Could be seen in the gleam of their eyes.

As a kid they would take me for candy
And I loved to go tagging along
We'd hold hands while we walked to the corner
And the old man would sing her his song.

I'll give you a daisy a day, dear
I'll give you a daisy a day
I'll love you until the rivers run still
And the four winds we know blow away.

Now he walks down the street in the evening
And he stops by the old candy store
And I somehow believe he's believing
He's holding her hand like before.

For he feels all her love walking with him
And he smiles at the things she might say
Then the old man walks up to the hilltop
And gives her a daisy a day.

I'll give you a daisy a day, dear
I'll give you a daisy a day
I'll love you until the rivers run still
And the four winds we know blow away.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Aug 05 - 11:56 PM

Are you lonesome tonight
do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry we drifted apart?
Does your memory stray
to a bright sunny day
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?
Is your heart filled with pain
shall I come back again?
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight?

I wonder if you're lonesome tonight
You know someone said that the world's a stage
And each must play a part.
Fate had me playing in love you as my sweet heart.
Act one was when we metI loved you at first glance
You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue
Then came act two you seemed to change and you acted strange
And why I'll never know.
Honey you lied when you said you loved me
And I had no cause to doubt you.
But I'd rather go on hearing your lies
Than go on living without you.
Now the stage is bare and I'm standing there
With emptiness all around
And if you won't come back to me
Then they can bring the curtain down.

Is your heart filled with pain
shall I come back again?
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 10:38 PM

. Night time am a-fallin'. Ev'rything is still;
And the moon am a-shinin' from above.
Cupid am a-callin' ev'ry Jack and Jill.
It's just about the time for making love.
Someone is awaiting all alone for me.
No more hesitating; I must go and see.
How de do, dear. It's with you, dear,
That I love to be.

CHORUS: Put your arms around me, Honey. Hold me tight.
Huddle up and cuddle up with all your might.
Oh, babe, won't you roll dem eyes,
Eyes that I just idolize?
When they look at me, My heart begins to float;
Then it starts a-rockin' like a motorboat.
Oh! Oh! I never knew
Any girl like you.

2. Music am a-playin' such a "lovin' glide"
That my feet keep a-moving to and fro;
And with you a-swayin', I'll be satisfied
To dance until we hear the roosters crow.
I love seven-'leven. I love chicken, too.
Nearest thing to heaven is to be with you;
For I'm spoony, moony, loony, but my love is true.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 04:38 PM

He said instrumental, not instruments of torture (although I do actually posses several of those items and a shaky egg plant)

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MMario
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 03:41 PM

Sure! There's a heap of bodrhans in the other room, and I think there's a box of shaky eggs in the cupboard.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: PoppaGator
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 03:37 PM

Black Bush on the rocks, please, leave the bottle, and how about some instrumental tunes for a while?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 03:27 PM

I went down to St. James Infirmary
To see my baby there,
She was lyin' on a long white table,
So sweet, so cool, so fair.

Went up to see the doctor,
"She's very low," he said;
Went back to see my baby
Good God! She's lying there dead.

I went down to old Joe's barroom,
On the corner by the square
They were serving the drinks as usual,
And the usual crowd was there.

On my left stood old Joe McKennedy,
And his eyes were bloodshot red;
He turned to the crowd around him,
These are the words he said:

Let her go, let her go, God bless her;
Wherever she may be
She may search the wide world over
And never find a better man than me

Oh, when I die, please bury me
In my ten dollar Stetson hat;
Put a twenty-dollar gold piece on my watch chain
So my friends'll know I died standin' pat.

Get six gamblers to carry my coffin
Six chorus girls to sing me a song
Put a twenty-piece jazz band on my tail gate
To raise Hell as we go along

Now that's the end of my story
Let's have another round of booze
And if anyone should ask you just tell them
I've got the St. James Infirmary blues

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MMario
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 04:15 PM

Who left this case of "Clinton Hammond Facial Cream" on the counter?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Aug 05 - 04:13 PM

Pass me over the anaesthetic bottle.. I cracked a tooth today and it needs to be soothed!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 10:16 PM

Last night I met a man from Mars, and he was very sad.
He said, "Won't you help me find my girl friend, please?"
So I asked him, "What does she look like?",
And the man from Mars said, she's

Eight foot two, solid blue,
Five transistors in each shoe,
Has anybody seen my gal?
Lucite nose, rust-proof toes,
And when her antenna glows,
She's the cutest Martian gal.

You know she promised me, recently,
She wouldn't stray,
But came the dawn, she was gone
Eighteen billion miles away.

Her steering wheel has sex appeal,
Her evening gown is stainless steel,
Has anybody seen my gal?
How I miss all the bliss
Of her sweet hydraulic kiss,
Has anybody seen my gal?
Lovely shape, custom built,
Squeeze her wrong and she says "tilt",
Has anybody seen my gal?

She does the cutest tricks, with her six stereo ears.
When she walks by, spacemen cry,
'Specially when she shifts her gears.

If she's found, rush like mad,
Put her on a launching pad,
Down at Cape Canaveral,
And shoot me back my cutie,
My supersonic beauty,
Send me back my Martian gal.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 10:14 PM

I just saw a ma -ni -ac, ma -in -ic, ma -in -ic,
Wild, and tear -ing his hair,
Jump -ing like a jump -in' jack, jump -in' jack, jump -in' jack,
Child, you should have been there,
Laughed so loud I thought that I would cave in,
When I heard that sil -ly, daf -fy -dil -ly rav -in':

Chorus:
Five Foot Two, Eyes Of Blue, But oh, what those five foot could do,
Has an -y -bod -y seen my girl?
Turned up nose, turned down hose, Nev -er had no -oth -er beaus,
Has an -y -bod -y seen my girl?
Now if you run in -to a five foot two, cov -ered with fur,
Dia -mind rings and all those things Bet -cha' life it is -n't her,
But could she love, could she woo? Could she, could she, could she coo?
Has an -y -bod -y seen my girl?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 10:09 PM

My day dreams lie bur -ied in au -tumn leaves,
They're cov -ered with au -tumn rain,
The time is sweet Sep -tem -ber, The place, a shad -y lane,
I'm rid -ing the wings of an au -tumn breeze, Back to my mem -o -ries;

Chorus:
The leaves of brown came tum -bling down, re -mem -ber?
In Sep -tem -ber, in the rain,
The sun went out just like a dy -ing em -ber,
That Sep -tem -ber, in the rain,
To ev -'ry word of love I heard you whis -per,
The rain -drops seemed to play a sweet re -frain,
Though Spring is here, to me it's still Sep -tem -ber,
That Sep -tem -ber, in the rain.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 09:41 PM

I was might -y blue, Thought my life was through,
Till the heav -ens o -pened, And I gazed at you.
Won't you tell me, dear, Why, when you ap -pear,
Some -thing hap -pens to me And the strang -est feel -ing goes through me?

Chorus:
You Do Some-thing To Me,
some -thing that sim -ply mys -ti fies me.
Tell me, why should it be,
You have the pow'r to hyp -no -tize me?
Let me live 'neath your spell,
Do do that voo -doo that you do so well,
For You Do Some-thing To Me,
That no -bod -y else can do.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 08:59 PM

Oh! The night that I struck New York
I went out for a quiet walk
Folks who are "on to" the city say
Better by far that I took Broadway
But I was out to enjoy the sights
There was the Bow'ry ablaze with lights
I had one of the devil's own nights
I'll never go there any more.

cho: The Bow'ry, the Bow'ry
They say such things and they do strange things,
On the Bow'ry! The Bow'ry!
I'll never go there any more.

I had walked but a block or two,
When up came a fellow and me he knew;
Then a policeman came walking by
Chased him away and I asked him, "Why?"
"Wasn't he pulling your leg?" said he,
Said I, "He never laid hands on me!"
"Get off the Bow'ry, you Yep (fool)!" said he
I'll never go there any more.

I went into an auction store,
I never saw any thieves before;
First he sold me a pair of socks
Then said he, "How much for the box"?
Someone said,"two dollars," I said "Three."
He emptied the box and gave it to me,
"I sold you the box, not the socks," said he,
I'll never go there any more.

I went into a concert hall,
I didn't have a good time at all;
Just the minute that I sat down
Girls began singing "New Coon in Town,"
I got up mad and spoke out free,
"Somebody put that man out," said she;
A man called a bouncer attended to me,
I'll never go there anymore.

I went into a barber shop,
He talked till I thought he would never stop
I said, "Cut it short," he misunderstood
Clipped down my hair just as close as he could;
He shaved with a razor that scratched like a pin,
Took off my whiskers and most of my chin;
That was the worst scrape I ever got in
I'll never go there any more.

I struck a place that they called a "dive,"
I was in luck to get out alive
When the policeman heard my woes,
Saw my black eyes and my battered nose.
"You've been held up!" said the "copper" fly!
"No, sir! But I've been knocked down!" said I;
Then he laughed, tho' I couldn't see why!
I'll never go there any more.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 08:56 PM

1. Queenie Bee lived o'er the lea
and she was a bunny little honey bee
Billy Bumble used to mumble 'round the rosemary
Where she would meet him, greet him, and then treat him to some honey sprees.
Then start a-buzzin' in a dozen diff'rent lovin' keys:

CHORUS: Be my little baby bumblebee,
(Buzz around, buzz around, keep a-buzzin' 'round.)
Bring home all the honey, love, to me.
(Little bee, little bee, little bee.)
Let me spend the happy hours
Roving with you 'mongst the flow'rs,
And when we got where no one else can see,
(Cuddle up, cuddle up, cuddle up.)
Be my little baby bumblebee.
(Buzz around, buzz around, keep a-buzzin' 'round.)
We'll be just has happy as can be.
(You and me, you and me, you and me.)
Honey, keep a-buzzin', please.
I've got a dozen cousin bees,
But I want you to be my baby bumblebee.

2. Willie, he flew o'er the lea
to call on her mama and her papa bee.
Papa bee said "Goodness me!" and mama said, "We'll see
If you can pay your way, for ev'ry day the price of honey grows dear!"
But little Queenie said: "That for Sweeney," and whispered in his ear: CHORUS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 08:55 PM

When I'm happy, when I'm happy,
Singing all the while,
I don't need nobody then
To show me how to smile.
When I've been out on the spree,
Toddling down the street,
With this little melody
Everyone I greet;

Show me the way to go home,
I'm tired and I want to go to bed.
I had a little drink about an hour ago,
And it's gone right to my head.
Wherever I may roam,
On land or sea or foam.
You will always hear me singing this song:

Show me the way to go home...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 08:41 PM

price is no object- DougR is picking up the tab!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 08:24 PM

Don't much care for Bubbly unless it's a 1990 Moet..... I prefer beer and pies to champagne and lobster.. I'm a cheap date!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:40 PM

Sonnet 23/05/01                        DLVIII

I cannot alter Time's slow march, to speed
The days, or slow the hours. If I could change
The years, I would not stay so far, nor need
To censure dreams, and desires rearrange.
I cannot send what you deserve, to ease
The effort of your days. Can words lend care,
From one as I? How can my verses please,
Or offer solace? Should I dead dreams share?
I cannot offer heart, though your words reach
Into my dreams: I have no right to ask
That you care for me, nor can I heart touch
To see beyond those dreams, or longing mask.
I see a flame in you, to light my soul,
Yet cannot reach to it, or time control.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MMario
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:34 PM

now don't go soft-soaping her!

Care for some bubbly, Liz?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:34 PM

Sonnet 09/05/01                                DXLVIII

I read your words, and my dreams try to feel
The coolness of soft silk, and warmth of skin:
I would reach out, and with sweet kisses seal
My heart, that I might heart's desire win.
As soft, and subtle scented as a rose,
But without thorns, you pull me to your soul.
I touch, with lips and tongue, yet hope heart knows
How much these dreams can of my hopes take toll.
I reach to touch you, but words do not hold
The softness of your lips, nor feel of hair.
How can I taste skin, or let fingers fold
With yours, when only written words we share?
Would you, then, drive me crazy with desire
When distance and some years prevent love's fire?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:32 PM

Now, now. Let me get you a drink, and whisper soft sonnets into your ear...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:30 PM

Yes, you bastard!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:27 PM

post 100?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MMario
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:22 PM

I haven't done this one in a while....

There was a knight, a lusty knight, a randy knight was he,
He had eleven mistresses and bastards thirty-three...
He indulged in ev'ry excess,in each licenctious whim,
So you should have seen his jaw drop when a unicorn chose him!

Please go away my gold-maned friend, be gone I do declare!
My reputation will be shot with all the ladies fair.
I fear you've got the wrong man, of my friend with coat so fine...
I haven't been a virgin since I reached the age of nine!

I've led a very lusty life,summer winter fall or spring
I have no peers in "swords-manship",I will rut with anything!
So go away fair unicorn, if not I'll be grief stricken --
The rampant cock upon my shield will turn into a chicken!

The ladies will reject me thinking I'm just bravado.
There must be twenty other knights with chastity their motto.
So go away fair unicorn, please leave me alone...
The ladies will not lay with me with you for chaperone!

Please go away my gold-maned friend, be gone and do no tarry.
You'll probably find the man you seek up in the monastery.
No wait, they're not the kind of monk who are celibately sleeping,
Instead of Mass and priestly vows it's mistresses they're keeping!

The unicorn said not a word but with a soft "tap tap"
She curved her hooves around his legs, put her head upon his lap.
The knight looked in her deep brown eyes and said, "Why me? why you?"
Then the unicorn demurely said "                   !"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:20 PM

slippery, though...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MBSLynne
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:18 PM

Yes it does Liz

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:11 PM

"wears"?


Mighty attractive outfit...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:10 PM

wears the soap.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:07 PM

more singing!


Do I have to open my Alan Sherman notebook?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 01:44 PM

"Save water--shower with a friend!"

A line begins to form at the bottom of the stairs

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MMario
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 08:47 AM

second left hand door past the jello pits - or if you want hot water up the stairs and third right.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: el_punkoid_nouveau
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 02:57 AM

The punkoid raised his head from the bar (where it had fallen during his post festival kip). The gentle aroma of stale camper wafted into his nostrils.

"Jeez!" he yelled.

"Can't be me - I used those campsite showers regularly! It's amazing what you can do walking round in the rain!"

He took another slug at the Fighting Cock. "Hey barman! Where the heck are the showers in this joint?"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Aug 05 - 12:30 AM

Whew! And I thought the New York City subway in July smelled bad! This is what I returned to after my vacation? Let me have a Negra Modelo to go, please! I'll drink it out on the patio. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Aug 05 - 04:39 AM

YEah... it is an overpowering aroma isn't it......

: )

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MBSLynne
Date: 09 Aug 05 - 04:31 AM

MBSLynne creeps in and (uncharacteristically) goes quietly to a corner by the fire where she sits gazing into space........

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Aug 05 - 03:47 AM

Can someone open a window please, the fragrance in here has suddenly turned from gentle whiskey fumes to week long camper fumes.....

Oh, and top me up again please?

(_)?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: el_punkoid_nouveau
Date: 09 Aug 05 - 03:22 AM

The punkoid staggered in, dripping rain and mud from the festival campsite. Wearily, he laid his mandolin case against the bar, and sighed heavily.

"Hey bartender - do you have any Laphroaig?"

"It's all gone!?! Ranger1 drank it ALL?"

The punkoid collapsed over the bar, exhausted by pusing one car too many in the knee-deep mud of the campsite.

"You got Fighting Cock? Make it a large one..."

A sip later, and he began to sing... sing... sing...

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh Ah'm a lumberjack and Ah'm okay
Ah sleep all night and Ah work all day..."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MMario
Date: 08 Aug 05 - 04:20 PM

someone pour a drink for Joe - I suspect he's gonna need one. And connect my IV up to the Guiness again, please?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Aug 05 - 04:17 PM

Burp

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 08 Aug 05 - 03:08 PM

A

I wish I had the tune for it! I have more lyrics than tunes...


B

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Amos
Date: 08 Aug 05 - 03:03 PM

That American Bum is a classic and should be modified with descriptions intact for the Getaway, BB!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 08 Aug 05 - 01:55 PM

typo... but maybe we should define it, here...


A large strip of cloth tied to a cow before giving the cow as a present?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Aug 05 - 10:58 PM

What's a cowbow?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Aug 05 - 07:10 PM

Beep beep beep beep
His horn went beep beep beep
While riding in my Cadillac
What to my surprise
A little Nash Rambler was following me
About one third my size
The guy musta wanted to pass me up
As he kept on tooting his horn
Ill show him that a Cadillac is not a car to scorn
Beep beep beep beep
His horn went beep beep beep

I pushed my foot down to the floor
To give the guy the shake
But the little Nash Rambler stayed right behind
He still had on his brake
He musta thought his car had more guts
As he kept on tooting his horn
Ill show him that a Cadillac is not a car to scorn
Beep beep beep beep
His horn went beep beep beep

My car went into passing gear
And we took off with gust
Soon we were going ninety
Musta left him in the dust
When I peeked in the mirror of my car
I couldnt believe my eyes
The little Nash Rambler was right behind
Youd think that guy could fly
Beep beep beep beep
His horn went beep beep beep

Now we were doing a hundred and ten
This certainly was a race
For a Rambler to pass a Caddy
Would be a big disgrace
The guy musta wanted to pass me up
As he kept on tooting his horn
Ill show him that a Cadillac is not a car to scorn
Beep beep beep beep
His horn went beep beep beep

Now were going a hundred twenty
As fast as I can go
The Rambler pulled along side of me
As if we were going slow
The fella rolled down his window
And yelled for me to hear
Hey buddy how do I get this car outa second gear?