Lyr Add: Songs by Ukulele Ike (Cliff Edwards)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Ukulele Ike (Cliff Edwards)
From: GUEST,PHJim
Date: 27 Feb 24 - 01:35 PM

Thanks to Jim Dixon for the lyrics to Mr, Insurance Man.
I hear one word differently.

"Oh Mr. Insurance Man, please take out that thing for me.
Come on, let's get down to bus'ness; I'm ready, can't you see?
I know I been without it for so long, you think I'm done clapped,
But I'm the kind of a gal can keep it up, and never let it lapse."

Instead of "clapped" at the end of the 3rd line above, I hear "collapsed".

Does anyone have the chords for this song?

Subject: Lyr Add: SIX WOMEN (ME AND HENRY VIII)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Aug 14 - 08:05 PM

You can hear this at RedHotJazz.com:


SIX WOMEN (ME AND HENRY VIII)
Words by Jack Yellen and Irving Caesar; music by Ray Henderson.
From "George White's Scandals of 1934"
As recorded by Cliff Edwards, "Ukulele Ike", 1934.

Six women didn't last me very long.
Six women put the blues into my song.
Six women done two good men wrong:
Me and Henry the Eighth.

Six times I had to take it on the chin.
Six times I took a chance and didn't win.
Six times somebody else chiseled in
On me and Henry the Eighth.

Henry was a mighty king; a mighty king was he.
Look what they did to a king; what chance was there for me?

Six men made me take it like a chump.
Six women gave it to me with a bump.
Six women shattered all the faith
In me and Henry the Eighth.

The same as old King Henry, my first one was Catherine,
A long and lanky lovin' mama who was tall and thin.
One day the fleet came in and there were sailors all about.
Well, boys, the fleet was in and I was out.

My second one was a redhead and I think her name was Anne.
I walked into my flat one day and there was a traveling man.
He grabbed his hat and coat and I took out my forty-four.
Annie doesn't live there anymore.

I thought I'd try again and got a gal whose name was Jane,
And I was awfully good to her, but it was all in vain.
One day I had a Rolls Royce delivered to her door,
But she ran off with the ice man an half an hour before.

The fourth one weighed two hundred pounds, the kind the Greeks prefer.
Did you ever see a bus walking? Well, I did; that was her;
And every day she beat me up till I was blue and black,
So I telegraphed her husband to come on and take her back.

The next was number five; after she became my missus,
One day I mailed to her a check for fifty thousand kisses.
I asked her what she did with it and she answered me at once:
"The landlord cashed it for me, dear, and the rent is paid for months."

Then came number six, a gal who gave me such a thrill
That every time I kissed her, I gave her a dollar bill;
And when I asked where she got her tens and twenties too,
She said, "Why, darling, everyone is not as stingy as you."

Six women didn't last me very long.
Six women put the blues into my song.
Six women done two good men wrong:
Me and Henry the Eighth.

Subject: Lyr Add: INSUFFICIENT SWEETIE (from Cliff Edwards)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Jul 14 - 05:18 PM

INSUFFICIENT SWEETIE
Written by Gil Wells & Isham Jones, ©1924
As sung by Cliff Edwards (Ukulele Ike)

Listen to me, Hannah Lee.
I'm speaking confidentially.
I've got something to say to you.
Believe me, mama, every word is true.
I don't mean to use restraint
While I'm makin' this complaint.
It won't take very long
To tell you just what's wrong:

Insufficient sweetie, you haven't got the kind of love for me.
Insufficient sweetie, you're just as insufficient as you can be.
The man I love must be a real world-beater,
With a kiss that kicks like a Colt's repeater.
You may have been fast in days that are gone,
But, mama, papa's gonna put your air-brakes on.
Insufficient sweetie, you're slower than a local train down in Arkansas.
Listen to me while I tell you true
Just what to do:
You ought to go back to the country to the tall, tall grass
And watch the snails and turtles go whizzin' past.
Insufficient sweetie, your sweetie's too sufficient for you.

You claim the day will come when I will hold your hand.
That's when a rabbi'll be the Kleagle of the Ku Klux Klan.

Subject: Lyr Add: WHO TAKES CARE OF THE CARETAKER'S...?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Jul 14 - 04:07 PM

You can hear this song at RedHotJazz.com:


WHO TAKES CARE OF THE CARETAKER'S DAUGHTER (WHILE THE CARETAKER'S BUSY TAKING CARE)?
Written by Chick Endor, ©1925.
As sung by Cliff Edwards (a.k.a. Ukulele Ike), 1925.

Say--who takes care of the caretaker's daughter while the caretaker's busy takin' care?

Marconi made the telegraph, and Dempsey, he's the champ.
I know that Babe Ruth makes home runs and Cleopatra was a vamp.
I know that Spark Plug is a horse; I'm a smart guy; there's no doubt,
But there's one thing that I don't know, and I'm dyin' to find out:

Who takes care of the caretaker's daughter while the caretaker's busy takin' care?
Gee, oh, gosh, oh, gee!
That's what worries me.
I know that the caretaker must take care,
And when he's takin' care, she's alone somewhere,
But who takes care of the caretaker's daughter while the caretaker's busy takin' care?

Who tends door for the door-tender's daughter while the door-tender's busy tendin' door?
Gee, oh, gosh, oh, gee!
That's what worries me.
I know that the door-tender must tend door,
And that he goes to work about half-past four,
But who tends door for the door-tender's daughter while the door-tender's busy tendin' door?

Say, who keeps house for the housekeeper's daughter while the housekeeper's busy keepin' house?
Gee, oh, gosh, oh, gee!
That's what worries me.
I know that the housekeeper must keep house,
And when the rats have a child, they call it a mouse,
But who keeps house for the housekeeper's daughter while the housekeeper's busy keepin' house?

Who makes the dressmaker's daughter while the dressmaker's busy makin' dresses?
Gee, oh, gosh, oh, gee!
That's what worries me.
I know that the dressmaker must make dresses,
And the daughter's OK; she's chuck-full o' yesses,
But who makes the dressmaker's daughter while the dressmaker's busy makin' dresses?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Ukelele Ike (Cliff Edwards)
From: PHJim
Date: 30 Jul 14 - 10:27 AM

Thanks Q. I learned it from a Duck Donald/Cathy Fink record. They wrote in the liner notes that they'd learned it from Cliff Edwards (Ukulele Ike)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Ukelele Ike (Cliff Edwards)
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 30 Jul 14 - 03:05 AM

"Hard Hearted Hannah," 1924; Jack Yellin, Bob Bigelow and Charles Bates.
An early singer was Dolly Kay, also Lucille Hegamin. These and others at RedHotJazz.com

Incorrectly attributed to Milton Ager, one of the publishers, in the DT

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Ukelele Ike (Cliff Edwards)
From: PHJim
Date: 30 Jul 14 - 01:01 AM

HARD HEARTED HANNAH
Intro:/:C A/D7 G:/
/C /A /D7 /(Db7)D7 /G /G /C /D7 G7/
/C /A /D7 /G7 /D7 /G7 /D7 /G7 /
D7 G /C /
A /D7 /G /D7 /G /D7 /G //
/C /A /D7 /(Db7)D7 /G /G /C /D7 G /C /C7 /F
/E E7 /A /A /D7 /G /C /A /D7 G /C A /D7 G /C //

In old Savannah, I said Savannah,
The weather there is nice and warm;
The climate's of the southern brand,
But here's what I don't understand;
They got a gal there, A pretty gal there,
Who's colder than an arctic storm;
Got a heart just like a stone;
Even icemen let her alone,

Chorus:
They call her Hard Hearted Hannah,
The vamp of Savannah,
The meanest gal in town;
Leather is tough but Hannah's heart is tougher;
She's a gal who loves to see 'em suffer!
She'll tease 'em and thrill 'em, Torture and kill 'em,
That's her delight, they say,
An evening spent with Hannah sittin' on your knee
Is like travelling through Alaska in your BVDs.
That's Hard Hearted Hannah, The Vamp of Savannah,
The vamp of Savannah, G. A.

They call her Hard Hearted Hannah,
The vamp of Savannah,
The meanest gal in town;
Talk of your cold, refrigerated mammas,
Brother, she's the polar bear's pajamas.
She'll tease 'em and thrill 'em, Torture and kill 'em,
That's her delight, they say,
She's so cold you'll even catch pneumonia from her breath,
She kissed an Eskimo and the fool froze to death.
That's Hard Hearted Hannah, The Vamp of Savannah,
The vamp of Savannah, G.A.
The vamp of Savannah, G.A.

Subject: Lyr Add: MY DOG LOVES YOUR DOG
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Jul 14 - 12:27 AM

MY DOG LOVES YOUR DOG
Words by Jack Yellen and Irving Caesar; music by Ray Henderson, ©1934.
As sung by Cliff Edwards a.k.a. Ukulele Ike.

[VERSE] Pardon me, but if I may, I would like to speak to you.
Maybe you have noticed too:
Our dogs have learned to care.
You can see it in their eyes.
You can hear it in their sighs.
Winchell* mentioned it today.
They are very much that way.

[CHORUS 1] My dog loves your dog, and your dog loves my dog.
If our doggies love each other, why can't we?
My dog's a he-dog,
And your dog's a she-dog.
I wish you loved me the way that he loves she.
Don't they look sweet
Ev'ry time they meet
Beneath their favorite tree?
My big Airedale
Wags his little tail
To tell your terrier
He's crazy to marry 'er.
My dog loves your dog, and your dog loves my dog.
If our doggies love each other why can't we?

[CHORUS 2] Your dog loves my dog and my dog loves your dog.
If our doggies love each other, why can't we?
All night he's whinin'
Because he keeps pinin'
To be with her the way I'd like to be with you.
I take him out
And he runs about
To see if she is in sight.
By his nose he knows
Ev'ry place she goes.
He calls to her: "Bow-wow-wow,
I love you, and how-wow-wow!"
My dog loves your dog, and your dog loves my dog.
If our doggies love each other, why can't we?

[CHORUS 3] Your dog [panting sounds]; my dog [whining sounds].
If our doggies love each other, why can't we?
Look how she pets him
And look how she lets him
Play around the way I'd like to play with you.
Chows and Pekingese
Who have pedigrees
Are crazy over my hound,
But your little mutt's
Simply got him nuts,
And he'd gladly give 'er
His last piece of liver,
'Cause my dog loves your dog; your dog loves my dog.
If our doggies love each other, why can't we?

* Walter Winchell, gossip columnist.

This song was used in the film "George White's Scandals" (1934). A clip from the film, with rather poor sound quality, can be heard on YouTube. The singers are Jimmy Durante, Rudy Vallee, and Cliff Edwards.

Subject: Lyr Add: GOOD LITTLE BAD LITTLE YOU
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Jul 14 - 11:33 PM

GOOD LITTLE BAD LITTLE YOU
Words and music by Bud Green and Samuel H. Stept, ©1928.
As recorded by Cliff Edwards a.k.a. "Ukulele Ike", 1928.

[VERSE] You're the naughtiest baby.
Still you're sweet as can be.
First you treat me nice, then you're cold as ice.
You're a puzzle to me.

[CHORUS 1] Good little, bad little you-oo-oo,
What makes you tease like you do-oo-oo?
I look into your angel eyes.
They're little devils in disguise.
One little, two little lips I crave—
They lead me on, then they say, "Behave!"
And who, who knows it too?
Good little, bad little you-oo-oo-oo,
Good little, bad little you.

[CHORUS 2] You're good; you're bad; wish I knew
What make you tease like you do.
I look right straight into your angel eyes.
I see they're little devils in disguise.
Got one, got two lips I crave.
Still they just say, "Please behave!"
And who's that smarty certain party knows it, too?
Good little, bad little you-oo-oo-oo,
Good little, bad little you.

[Also recorded by Chick Endor, The Arrowhead Inn Orchestra, Earl Hines and His Orchestra, and several others.]

Subject: Lyr Add: I LOVE MOUNTAIN WOMEN (Cliff Edwards)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Apr 13 - 10:46 PM

I LOVE MOUNTAIN WOMEN
As sung by "Ukulele Ike" (Cliff Edwards) on "Radio & Recording Rarities, Vol. 1"

I flirted with Lou in Kalamazoo and I met Beaudette(?) in France.
I've got a sweetie in Kokomo and one does a hula dance.
I've played with the girls along Broadway and the babes in Hollywood,
But the place to be is Tennessee if you want to find something good.

Oh, I love mountain women; they do so much to me.
I love those moonshine honeys down in Tennessee.
The girlies here are very fine and really know their stuff,
And how they love their mountain men; they just can't get enough.
They raise my aspirations and tickle my fancy too.
I came for a vacation and it's more than I can do.
Now a mountain gal in a pile of hay
Is worth two broads in a cabaret.
I love mountain women 'cause they do so much to me.

I love mountain women; they have such sex appeal.
You really can't imagine the way they make me feel.
They came in the morning and they steal my ammunition.
Although I like their overtures, I need an intermission.
If I were in a harem, I'd get a lot more rest,
But I'm a mountain sultan who gives service by request.
I've asked the ladies all to wait
And just let me recuperate.
I love mountain women 'cause they do so much to me.

I love mountain women; they're clever, can't you see?
They ain't so much on science but they know their anatomy.
Each morning fair they take my staff and then we start to climb.
And when we reach the summit, oh, boy, it's really fine.
They tell me that their mountain is the best thing they adore.
I'm getting' so that I can't climb their mountain any more.
Now the girlies here they sure get rude,
Fightin' for my altitude.
I love mountain women 'cause they do so much to me.

Subject: Lyr Add: IF YOU CAN'T LAND 'ER ON THE OLD VERANDA
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Apr 13 - 12:55 PM

IF YOU CAN'T LAND 'ER ON THE OLD VERANDA
As sung by Cliff Edwards (a.k.a. Ukulele Ike) on "I Did It with My Little Ukulele"

Listen all you love-makin' romeos.
Listen, those who make love at home-eo's.
You do your spooning in a parlor or car.
I know a place that's old but better by far.
In the winter or summer, spring or fall,
Here's my advice to you all:

If you can't land 'er on the old veranda, then you can't land 'er at all.
If you can't love her with the moon above her, you'll never get her to fall.
Give her a kiss; do it again.
Tell her you're from the city where men are men.
If you can't land 'er on the old veranda, then you can't land 'er at all.

If you can't land 'er on the old veranda, then you can't land 'er at all.
If you ain't kissed 'er, let me tell you, mister, you'll find your chances are small.
Winter may come; water gets cold.
Boy, if you can't keep her warm then you're growin' old.
If you can't land 'er on the old veranda, then you can't land 'er at all.

Say now, if you can't land 'er on the old veranda, you can't land 'er at all.
Just one box of candy and she'll think you're dandy; it doesn't matter how small.
If she's not a peach, that's no disgrace.
In the dark, you'll never even notice her face.
If you can't land 'er on the old veranda, then you can't land 'er at all.

Subject: Lyr Add: I'M A BEAR IN A LADY'S BOUDOIR (Edwards)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Apr 13 - 12:14 PM

I'M A BEAR IN A LADY'S BOUDOIR
As sung by Cliff Edwards (a.k.a. Ukulele Ike) on "Risque Songs of the '20s & '30s: Banned on the Radio"

You may talk about your colleges, fair Harvard and old Yale,
And all the universities whose banners brave the gale,
And all the football heroes, their glory and renown.
I never went to college, but I know I've been to town.

I may not be a football hero,
But I'm a star with the beautiful girls.
You never see me in the thick of a fight,
'Cause I do my scoring mostly at night.
I never tackle any dummies.
I've played the best from near and far.
No, I ain't—no, I'm not a football hero,
But I'm a bear in a lady's boudoir.

They play football on the gridiron,
Where the ground is rough and hard.
I do my playing on a divan.
The ladies all say I'm a triple-threat man.
I never have to call for time-out,
For I'm always up to par.
Oh, I ain't—no, I'm not a football hero,
But I'm a bear in a lady's boudoir.

I never fought for alma mater,
Because she never fought for me.
The boys win a letter for not playing rough.
I should get an alphabet for doing my stuff.
I'm pretty good at center rushing.
That's the place I really star.
Oh, I may not be—I'm not a football hero,
But I'm a dog in a lady's boudoir.

One time I swung into action.
I was rewarded with wild acclaim.
The captain said to me, "You're just a little runt.
As long as you've been playing you've never touched a punt."
When I removed my interference,
The goal was not so very far.
Oh, I ain't—I'm not—I'm not a football hero,
But I'm a l-l-l-lady(?) In a l-l-l-lady's boudoir.

Subject: Lyr Add: COME UP AND SEE ME SOMETIME (C Edwards)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Apr 13 - 09:43 AM

COME UP AND SEE ME SOMETIME
As sung by Cliff Edwards, a.k.a. Ukulele Ike, on "Naughty Tracks of the Early Blues, Vol. 2"

I believe that ev'ryone in life should have a mission.
Making people happy is the height of my ambition.
When I get them happy, well, they stay in that condition.
I have a system all my own.

I've got a lot, a lot of what I've got,
And what I've got's all mine.
And I assure you, I can cure you, if you're feeling blue.
Come up and see me sometime.

I've got a flat where you can hang your hat,
And I've got a brand-new line,
And maybe you would like me to explain it all to you.
Come up and see me sometime.

Come up tonight.
I think the paper said the moon will be bright.
They should have had it in the columns and all,
Letters that tall,
That you'd be falling for me,

'Cause I am free and you appeal to me,
But how could it be a crime?
If you don't get my number, well, my number's in the book.
Come up and see me sometime.

Subject: Lyr Add: MR. INSURANCE MAN (Cliff Edwards)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Apr 13 - 09:06 AM

MR. INSURANCE MAN
As sung by Cliff Edwards, a.k.a. Ukulele Ike, on "Copulatin' Blues, Vol. 2"

Liza was a widow; she lived in Tennessee.
She was a red-hot prospect for an insurance company,
So they sent out an agent with several of their plans,
And Liza saw him comin'; she just laughed and clapped her hands.

She said: "Mr. Insurance Man, take out that thing for me.
Oh, Mr. Insurance Man, do the best you can; I crave some indemnity.
If you're the man I thinks you is, I won't have any fear.
You'll give me plenty o' dividends, and it won't take twenty years.

"Oh Mr. Insurance Man, I know it looks safe and sound,
And I'll have the premium ready, every time you come around.
The other man what used to come, you see, all he had was attraction,
But I was a woman that just craves a little action.
Oh, Mr. Insurance Man, let me take out that thing.
Let me look at your policy.
Mr. Insurance Man, please take out that thing.

"Oh Mr. Insurance Man, please take out that thing for me.
Come on, let's get down to bus'ness; I'm ready, can't you see?
I know I been without it for so long, you think I'm done clapped,
But I'm the kind of a gal can keep it up, and never let it lapse.
Oh Mr. Insurance Man ,take out that thing for me.
Let me see the numbers on that policy, just how much I'm gon' get.
Oh Mr. Insurance Man take out that thing for me."

Subject: Lyr Add: I'M GOING TO GIVE IT TO MARY WITH LOVE
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 Apr 13 - 02:52 PM

Here's one that I heard on the radio today and then looked up on Spotify:


I'M GOING TO GIVE IT TO MARY WITH LOVE
As sung by Cliff Edwards (a.k.a. Ukulele Ike) on "Radio & Recording Rarities, Vol. 1;" "Risque Songs of the '20s & '30s: Banned on the Radio;" and "X-Rated Xmas: A Very Dirty Christmas"

I'm just a bashful boy in love with Mary Green.
She is really the sweetest gal that I have ever seen.
I've always lacked the courage to even squeeze her tight,
But I've resolved to do my stuff when I see her tonight.

I'm gonna give it to Mary with love.
I've got something that she's fondest of.
Now I know that she has had it before,
And Mary's the gal that all the fellas adore.
I'll let her take it right in her hand,
'Cause I know she'll stroke it so grand.
Like Jack and Jill,
We'll both get a thrill
When I give it to Mary with love.
My little kitten!
I'll give it to Mary with love.

I'm gonna give it to Mary with love.
She's my sweet, cute turtledove.
About my lovin' she's always been keen.
She'll say when I give it it's the finest she's seen.
She'll think of it long after I'm gone.
I'm gonna put it right where it belongs.
Like Cleo and Marc,
We'll spoon in the park
When I give it to Mary with love.
I mean a necklace!
I'll give it to Mary with love.

I'm gonna give it to Mary with love.
When I do it, I may need a shove,
Because, you see, I'm so bashful and shy.
I'm afraid she'll take it from some other guy.
I want to be her number one man,
And give it the best that I can.
I'll be darin' and dashin',
For she's my passion,
When I give it to Mary with love.
I mean a diamond!
I'll give it to Mary with love.

Subject: RE: Ukelele Ike (Cliff Edwards)
From: Ralph Butts
Date: 10 Jan 99 - 02:41 PM

Hi, Chet...

Cliff was very popular for years before Jiminy Cricket, which was really near the end of his career.

I've got several of his 78's, plus a 32-song book of his ukulele arrangements. It cost $1.00 in 1949. There are some unusual chords in there which I've transposed for the guitar, but would never have come up with, otherwise.

....Tiger

Subject: RE: Ukelele Ike (Cliff Edwards)
From: Mike Billo
Date: 10 Jan 99 - 01:01 PM

There is a terrific Cliff Edwards website at http://www.mindspring.com/~dgarrick/cliff.htm in my opinion the best reissue is the out-of-print Yazoo LP, "A Bear In A Lady's Boudoir" if you can find that one, get it. It contains a couple of his off color "party records", as well as some other gems. I believe that Elderly Instruments usually has one or two CD's of his stuff in stock.

Subject: Ukelele Ike (Cliff Edwards)
From: Chet W.
Date: 10 Jan 99 - 12:11 PM

Most famous as the voice of the animated Jiminy Cricket ("When You Wish Upon a Star"), Uke Ike recorded a lot of great songs elsewhere. Looking for sources of his lyrics, music, bio, etc.

Thanks, Chet W.