BS: a joke that deserves its own thread

Subject: BS: a joke that deserves its own thread
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 10:02 PM

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'

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I just posted this on the fourth joke thread, but gosh darn it, I think it's so good it deserves its own. So sue me!

Elmer

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," in the newspapers, Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:

               370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to NSA. With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside-down."

Subject: RE: BS: a joke that deserves its own thread
From: Peace
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 10:03 PM

I just e-mailed it to a friend--copied your post on the Joke thread.

It has appeared before on the 'cat, but it is good enough to see again, IMO.

Subject: RE: BS: a joke that deserves its own thread
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 10:27 PM

When you're right, you're right.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: a joke that deserves its own thread
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 01:07 AM

A number of similar "jokes" were popular when the first of the decent calculators became popular. Since you can only use numbers for the early calculator routines, it's helpful to have a font that includes numerals similar to the ones used on the early calculators for simulation in text. The most critical features of the number font is having the "open-form number 4 and a "squarish" number 5.

With current versions of Windows, most people will have TrueType fonts ATX_A and/or one of the "OCR" forms. TrueType font "OCR A Extended" works well.

In Microsoft Word, a simplified version of one of them:

1. Select Font "OCR A Extended" or "ATX_A" at your current cursor position.

2. Key "Ctl-F9" and type "=505198.8972249^0.5\#0.00000" (omit the "")

3. You should get a line that looks like:

{=505198.8972249^0.5\#0.00000}

The "{" and "}" should be "fuzzy" indicating that they are "field markers" and not simple characters.

With your cursor anywhere between the "{" and "}" markers, hit F9 and you will see the "Liberals' version of the cause of all the modern world's problems." (ca. 1960 or so)

John

Subject: RE: BS: a joke that deserves its own thread
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 01:29 AM

710 77345??

Subject: RE: BS: a joke that deserves its own thread
From: Peace
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 01:34 AM

On the old calculators with the old figures, it really looked like Shell Oil.

Subject: RE: BS: a joke that deserves its own thread
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 02:35 AM

Well, we know Jack the S can type. Right answer.

If you use one of the fonts mentioned, upside down it really does read pretty clearly.

Apologies for the really simple input. When these were popular no self-respecting one-uppist showing off his new calculator would have used an input string without at least a couple of SQRT and a (TANH-SIN/SINH) at a bare minimum, but this was just to show method.

John

Subject: RE: BS: a joke that deserves its own thread
From: Peace
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 02:39 AM

"SQRT and a (TANH-SIN/SINH)"

I had something like that once. Was in the mid-1960s. Helluva time getting rid of it. Lots of injections. Asian variety.

Subject: RE: BS: a joke that deserves its own thread
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 05:58 PM

57907708........looked good upside down on the old calculator too!

Subject: RE: BS: a joke that deserves its own thread
From: Peace
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 02:33 PM

Here's another.


A study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

And if she is suffering from PMS, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors shoved in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.

Further studies are expected ....

Subject: RE: BS: a joke that deserves its own thread
From: Kaleea
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 07:17 PM

I certainly don't know why dubblepew would be wondering about osama, since all he had to do was ask Dave Letterman! Good ol' Dave hears from o on a regular basis, & shares the home videos o sends him with the studio & home audiences. Guess dubblepew doesn't watch Dave-too late at night maybe?