Lyr Add: Talkin' Song Repair Blues

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Talkin' Song Repair Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Aug 09 - 10:49 PM

Jim-

Amazing! This song does have legs!

Charley Noble, but I could still fix it for $1500

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Talkin' Song Repair Blues
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 08 Aug 09 - 04:37 PM

You can now see it on YouTube: Click here.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Talkin' Song Repair Blues
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 01:27 PM

After startup, rap opening line smartly with largest monkey wrench in toolbox; rub first chord with oily rag; stand back and watch it run. Adjust timing belt as necessary.....maybe a thou. bucks, if not too bad...             Tw

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Talkin' Song Repair Blues
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 09:46 AM

Well, Jim, I think this one is amusing, but it needs a little more work!

Cheerily,
Charley "Wordsmith" Noble

Subject: Lyr Add: TALKIN' SONG REPAIR BLUES
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 14 Nov 05 - 02:43 PM

I heard this on the radio, on a country station, and thought some Mudcatters would like it. I'm afraid it's sort of a musician's inside joke, and consequently might never make the top 10. Lyrics copied from http://www.sing365.com/

THE TALKIN' SONG REPAIR BLUES
Dennis Linde

The mechanic raised up from under my hood.
He shook his head and said, "This ain't good.
    Your timin' belt's done shrunk one size too small,
Those spark plug wires are a little too long,
And your main prodsponder's nearly gone.
    Your injector ports are stripped and that ain't all.

"The torque converter's runnin' low on torque,
And that water pump's nearly down a quart,
    But we caught it all in time, so you're in luck."
He said, "I've got the time and I've got the parts.
Just give me the word and I'm ready to start.
    I think we can bring her in for eight hundred bucks.

"But don't be downhearted. I can fix it for you, sonny.
It won't take too long; it'll just take money."

Then he said, "Ain't you that songwriter guy?"
I said, "Yes, I am." He said, "So am I,"
    And he sat down and played me a song by the grease rack.
When he finished singin', he gave me a smile,
And I closed my eyes and pondered awhile,
    And he said, "What do you think? Now don't hold nothin' back."

Well, I gave him my most sorrowful look
And I said, "This song's got a broken hook.
    I can order you a new one from Nashville but it won't be cheap,
And I know you've been using a cut-rate thesaurus
'Cause your adverbs have backed up into your chorus.
    Now your verse is runnin' on verbs that are way too weak.

"But don't be downhearted. I can fix it for you, sonny.
It won't take too long; it'll just take money."

And I said, "Hold on, friend. Now, I'm not through.
I hate to be the one to give you the news,
    But your whole melodic structure's worked itself loose.
It's got so many dotted eighth notes in it,
I'd keep her under fifty beats per minute.
    I mean, that's just me talkin'. It's really up to you.

"And you've got a bad safety problem with
That dominant chord with the augmented fifth.
    Just see how dangerously high it raises you up.
So just go on over there and work on my car.
I'll sit here by the fan and chances are
    I can straighten this thing out for eigh--nine hundred bucks.

"But don't be downhearted. I can fix it for you, sonny.
It won't take too long.
You guessed it.
It may be a hit.
I like it."

[As recorded by Alan Jackson on "What I Do," BMG/Arista Nashville CD #63103, 2004.]