BS: Making cars smell bad

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 10 Sep 06 - 12:19 PM

Once, after I'd been shopping, I managed to leave a head of broccoli behind in the boot (trunk) of my car where it lay undiscovered, for a couple of weeks, among all the rubbish (trash) that tends to accumulate in the boot of any car of mine. The smell got pretty bad until I eventually found the broccoli.

I once had a boss who was the most evil person I've ever met - a foul-mouthed bully. I sometimes used to dream up ways of getting revenge for the way he treated me and others in the department (but never actually put any of the plans into action). One such plan was as follows: this evil git was quite a heavy drinker and used to have a longish trip home down the motorway. I thought of putting a piece of tape across his rear numberplate so as to partially obscure it. The tape could be roughly stuck on, perhaps diagonally with a long trailing end, so that it would look as if it had been thrown up from the road or something. The rest of the plan then depended on the police stopping him for having an obscured rear numberplate and perhaps breathalysing him (?) ... no, it would probably not have worked - there probably wouldn't have been a policeman in sight (they're never around when you want one!).

Plan B was a bumper sticker reading "kill-a-cop-a-day".

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 09 Sep 06 - 03:53 PM

Per the cops, it's not a fire hazard because the actual alcohol evaporates... whew!

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Sep 06 - 12:37 AM

can't even buy it here

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Scoville
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 09:17 PM

Oh, I have vivid memories of Limberger. My grandfather loved his stinky cheese and when we were with my grandparents, he and Dad would try to convince me that it was God's gift to dairy products.

They never succeeded. They did convert me to sauerkraut but Limberger was just too much.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Kaleea
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 05:42 PM

Q: Who knows what evils lurk in the hearts of men and women?
A: The Mudcat knows!

I've always been known as the kindly, straight-as-an-arrow, upright and proper woman who would never do anyone ill.   Naturally, those who know me well know that I do not do anything which would cause serious harm or financial hardship on another. Therefore, my neices and nephews were flabbergasted when they read some of the stories I had written, as some involved heinous activities on the part of the main characters. One of their favorites, a somewhat tame one, has the poor, innocent weakling of a small girl and her crippled Grandmother being treated in a shabby manner by a wealthy real estate mogul, even to the point of the little waif being forced day and night to weave silk & 24 carat gold thread seat covers for his Rolls Royce car seats. By the end of the story, the poor girl & Granny have a lovely home and plenty of money, but the Judge & IRS have taken almost everything from the mogul who was barely allowed to keep his beloved Rolls, who for the life of him can't figure out why his Rolls is such a smelly thing. Meanwhile, Granny has a terrific grin on her face watching the evil mogul sniffing the air around him as he is seated atop the seats which, unknown to him, were stuffed with his own stinky socks, & with covers woven from the silk of silkworms which were fed only on leaves of mulberry bushes fertilized with lindberger cheese.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 04:36 PM

I was bringing home all the non-empty bottles of booze from the camping trip, one of which (extra-high proof Jim Beam) was one of those huge bottles and was almost full. Somehow that one bottle worked its way out of the case, and opened, so that by the time I got home (a 4-hour drive) it was bloody near empty, maybe one drink left.

I really do wonder about the fire hazard - maybe I'll go back on Car Talk...

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 09:07 AM

Go to Home Depot. Buy 4 huge bags of red colored mulch. Go out in the rain to have the bags loaded in your trunk. Find out that there are no employees to help. Load them your self. Make sure you leave them in the trunk due to torrential downpours. Remove bags of mulch once they are well drained.


I found that along with a good cleaning with pet deoderizer, put some mulling spices in car pockets and empty ash trays.

Smells like Christmas.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Scoville
Date: 08 Sep 06 - 08:54 AM

1. Pour a half-gallon or so of milk into the carpet. Close all the windows tightly and let it sit in the sun for a day or two. (We did this once by accident when a grocery bag fell over.)

2. Flood it.

3. My friend swears that the worst thing you can do to somebody's car is put hoof trimmings in the air vents. She says it smells rank and it's very hard to get the trimmings out again once you've put them in there. I've never disliked anyone enough to try this myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Bee
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 11:32 PM

And people wonder why some of us prefer to remain anonymous on tha intarwebs...

Some of these are hilarious, but I will second the rotten potatos suggestion. They smell like nothing else on earth, and the scent lingers forever if the oozings have soaked into something you absolutely must keep.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: kendall
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 07:37 PM

I'm told that permanent anti freeze in the oil sump is fatal to an engine, but I wouldn't know first hand. I'd never do such a thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Partridge
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 03:29 PM

Give a lift to my friend Monicas dog   - it has a bad farting problem ............

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 03:25 PM

How does one - by accident- pour a gallon of whisky in a car's tank?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 02:27 PM

OK, this was an accident, but about a gallon of really good bourbon got poured into my trunk... the car smells like a distillery, but am I also a fire hazard?? Or should I toss a lit match back there and burn off the fumes?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST
Date: 19 May 06 - 07:03 PM

Esrom cheese can clear a room in seconds!

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: HuwG
Date: 18 May 06 - 08:37 PM

No, the ferries no longer run to Skye; but the islanders no longer pay tolls. See Skye Anti-Toll campaign page

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 May 06 - 04:59 PM

The answer is: limburger cheese. Under the floor mats and/or under the seats.

Do the ferries still run to Skye?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: HuwG
Date: 18 May 06 - 08:57 AM

A story from the Metropolitan Police (London). Someone had the habit of parking an expensive car on double yellow lines (meaning you can't park there at all. At all), with a dog in the car. Cars cannot be towed away if there is an animal in it. As the car was registered to a company, the driver could afford to scoff at fixed penalty notices.

One day, the police fed a bar of Ex-lax chocolate to the dog through the slightly open window. The car never reappeared on the double yellow lines.

***

A slightly related story refers to the new Skye Bridge, in Scotland. The bridge replaced existing ferry services. The ferries were unreliable and refused to run in bad weather, but were cheap. The tolls on the new bridge were downright extortionate. There was an exception; there were cheap rates for vehicles transporting livestock. As a result, practically every car running between Skye and the mainland had a sheep in it. Heaven knows what the cars smelt like after a few round trips, but in the eyes of most Skye inhabitants, it was worth it, and the sheep didn't mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: mandotim
Date: 18 May 06 - 08:08 AM

Lend the car to DuellingBouzoukis, who has something of a reputation in this field...
(Sorry Chris!)
Tim

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,jOhn
Date: 18 May 06 - 07:21 AM

Wahts a Jamba Juice?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,Pomdapi
Date: 08 Jan 06 - 10:49 PM

Try forgetting a Jamba Juice in your car and letting it rot. Not only is the intial stench hard identify, but even harder to get rid of.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 09:20 AM

I had the misfortune to inherit a company car from a fired employee. He knew he was going to be canned so when time came to order a new car he paid for all sorts of extras - putrid green car with baby shit brown soft top, green and brown plaid upholstery - people would point at me when I drove down the street. But the worst of it was something dead and foul left or spilled in the trunk. I never found it and never successfully covered up the odor. Every time I opened the trunk I had to hold my breath.

And what did he accomplish? The company didn't care. I, who never even met him, dealt with the mess until time came to order a new car. He however has that nasty little blight eating away at his psyche 30 years later. Not worth it.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 11:57 AM

Pack a good quantity of fresh dog shit in under the outside door lift handle. Gets in under the fingernails.

So I've been told.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,12stringstan
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 12:55 PM

a really nasty one here, but it takes a unique situation.

In work one day a prankster tied a 30ft length of rope to my rear bumper, and the other end to a metal barrell, i then left for home snaking the rope and barrell behind me. needless to say i realised it fairly quickly. My REVENGE however was sweeeeet!

I had only recently bought my house, a rural country cottage, in which 2 elderly people who had passed on had lived previously. Down the end of the garden was the remains of an old chicken run, and when i eventually got down to see about knocking it, i found 4 eggs. Christ knows how long there had been there, but they were walking with decay. I carefully transferred them to a little cardboard box, and brought them into work. My prankster friend just happened to use a cushion on his drivers seat, so i swiped his keys, fired the eggs under the cushion, and returned the keys, without him knowing. That evening he jumped in to go home....... c.r.u.n.c.h. Nothing could describe the smell that resulted. He even had the entire interior proffesionally cleaned and 3 to 4 months later the smell was still oozing from his upholstery.

He must be a good sport, as he know's i done it, and we still get on fine! Just don't mess with the big boys!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST,jOhn
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 12:32 PM

dead people smell bad after a while.

use a dead person that has not been embalmed though.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 12:51 AM

chicken livers are smaller and eight of them (one pound weight) may be tucked into trace recesses of the vehicle....the odds are slim the vehicular users will discover ALL eight.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Nov 05 - 12:49 AM

Common among drunks - to open the un-locked doors and piss onto the floor or into the upholstery////of ANY car parked in the neighborhood of the game.

A whole chicken stuffed under the passenger side dash-board leaves a horrific smell for weeks after it is discovered.....best done in the warm months of the year (for excellerated putrifaction) and wrapped in a towel to delay identifying dribbles.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 10:29 PM

The ping-pong-ball-in-the-gas-tank trick won't work on most cars (at least, in the US). A ping-pong ball is 40mm in diameter (roughly 1 9/16"). Since the mid-1970s, all gasoline-powered vehicles sold in the US have been required to use unleaded fuel. The filler spout on an unleaded pump is only 13/16" in diameter and cars' filler tubes are built so that it's impossible to get anything larger than that into the gas tank. You could do it on an older car or a diesel-powered vehicle, but not the vast majority of modern cars.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Tam the man
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 08:18 AM

Cats, dogs, farting, pissing, shitting, being sick. the list goes on.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: LadyJean
Date: 19 Nov 05 - 01:27 AM

I remember when my cousins the dairy farmers presented my cousins the health food devotees with a nice big bottle of moo juice fresh from the farm. It spilled all over the back of their car, on a warn June day, and it didn't take more than an hour to stink. Then there was the time I went to Maryland with a couple of friends. The guy we were driving with picked up a bushel of crabs for his mum. A week later you could still smell the car before you saw it.
Of course if you can find an unneutered male cat, eu de tom is extremely pungent and it stays!
But here's my suggestion. Take one tablespoon of, ordinary white sugar, sand, unmoistened concrete, or equally troublesome substance and sprinkle, liberally, around the gas cap. Take one bag that formerly held five pounds of the same troublesome substance and leave it beside the gas cap. Pray to the God of Garages that your victim's mechanic is a crook, and enjoy it.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 11:55 PM

When I was about 3 years old I helped my dad 'put petrol in the tank'...

Yes, water, but the real killer was the lumps of concrete! Better than sand, cause you think you got it all clean, and then you start driving again, and the lumps roll around and more chunks break off!

The solution (in the 1950's) was to take out the petrol tank cut it open, clean it, and oxy weld it. BTW, welding petrol tanks is NOT a job for the ignorant... you have to FILL it with water... no vapour must be left.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Micca
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 11:45 AM

anyway, sugar in a gas tank is passé try Diethyl ether only about 50 mls is needed, it burns so hot it damages the valves, but be warned at a lab where I worked one of my co-workers was having sporadic problems with his car and asked us (the Techs) if we could check a sample of gas from his tank for water content, We did and were able, not only to tell him that someone was p***ing in his petrol tank, but that the p***er was on his way home from the pub (probably) and that he had a kidney problem!! all from the metabolites visible on our gas chromatograph trace!!

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 11:18 AM

I know how to blow up a gas tank -- with a time delay, no less -- using common things.

But I ain't gonna tell you, not here or even if you came around and begged and pleaded. Somebody could get hurt or even killed with that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 11:06 AM

Let's not get too serious here, folks! Remember of whom you write...

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:56 AM

It will, however, almost certainly plug up the fuel filter and stop the car from running. And, depending upon how much sugar you dumped in there, you might have to replace the fuel filter -- and get stranded -- several times before you clear it all out.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: kendall
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:42 AM

I've never hated anyone this bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: JennyO
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:42 AM

I'm afraid sugar in the gas tank is a myth.

Sugar in the gas tank

This popular trick was recommended as a way to destroy an engine, causing great expense to the recipient of one's revenge. According to proponents of this act, the sugar turns to syrup in the gas, burns and melts, thereby destroying the engine.

The truth: Won't work! Sugar doesn't dissolve in gasoline, so it just sits there on the bottom of the fuel tank. The only way to stop an engine with sugar is to pour so much of it in the tank that the fuel pickup draws enough to clog the filter.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Peace
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 10:13 AM

Pu some sugar in the gas tank.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 09:49 AM

I was going to say that kippers and plastic on the exhaust can't be removed easily and it lasts a bit. Plastic (the right kind) can be very annoying because you may not clock the cause and worry about engine trouble..............

a potato rammed into the exhast can cause the engine to fail to start - if it does pop out it makes a noise but it only lasts a few hours -

Can laid-back folkies be such a devious lot?

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 08:58 AM

Well, if you must do something AND you're willing to take the consequences:

* fast-drying epoxy or superglue in all the locks. Gorilla Glue would also work. (Also good for gas caps.)

* you can buy doe, fox, and other urines in a hunting store, like I mentioned before. Also skunk.

* lots of Liquid Joy dishwashing detergent in the gas.

* a tight-fitting paper cup over the exhaust pipe.

* a condom full of dog poop up the exhaust pipe until it falls into the muffler.

* a road-killed skunk wedged up into the engine block.

* a piece of rubber carefully laid across the engine.

Bad karma and worse will fall upon you if you do any of these things.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 07:02 AM

Just lay a few strips of bacon on the engine block... an old honeymoon trick my dad told me about.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 18 Nov 05 - 01:17 AM

Well normally I would agree with you. However, having never had the personal inclination to consciously or deliberately and with malice and forethought, seek revenge, that I can recall, nor probably the balls either, in the case I mentioned first in this thread, I would make an exception. I don't think it is appropriate to tell tales out of school about this one so I won't elaborate further.

If pressed to judge, in some legal or quasi legal circumstance, I would find the perpetrator guilty, but rule that justice had truly been served and suspend any sentence.

However, legal recourse regarding righting the wrong, because of certain inequalities in the society in which I live, would never have come about.

I'll instead LMAO and comfort myself that at least one economically protected, sociopathic individual got his just desserts in the here and now in this case and take my karmic knocks.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:59 PM

OK. If you don't want to put a body in the trunk, then don't.

However, if you are having a problem with someone, why mess up a perfectly good car? Deal direct. Otherwise, forget it.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:48 PM

Let's be clear. Anyone who would actually do any of these things to someone else's car should be subjected to the Lithanian Zambezi Treatment, otherwise known as LZT.

LZT : Sieze the person in question and tie them to a wagon wheel. Rotate the wagon wheel around and around while pelting the prisoner with every sort of foul rubbish and verbal abuse. Then roll the wagon wheel down a hill into a swamp or a tar pit. Leave them there for 24 hours to ponder the perils of sin. Make sure they don't drown, however. That would be too easy on them. When the 24 hours is up, ride them out of town on a rail, as was done in the Wild West to frauds and troublemakers of the worst sort.

That, in fact, was why I suggested the "cat in the car" method in the first place...

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:12 PM

O,r as in my case, take revenge on yourself. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 09:03 PM

If you or anyone else is going to screw up someone's car that person should be ready and willing to take the consequences. These can range from vandalism up. Civil action could also be involved.

Whoever wants to do this had better be ready to be caught and punished, probably in several ways.

I'd suggest doing something else, like forgetting about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:50 PM

oops

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:49 PM

How not to make Kimchi

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:39 PM

And speaking of masochism, this should probably be on the Kimchi thread, but I was once given a number of cabbages by my Mom from her garden, that I put in the trunk of my car and forgot about.

This was bad, but not to the point where I had begun to notice from the interior. To make things worse, over the next month or so, it rained, in fact it rained a lot and the hood on the trunk of my car leaked...badly.

One morning I drove my kids to school and had to break suddenly. When I slammed on the brakes, a great wash of water poured out from under the back seat and filled the floor of the car. Along with the wash was the the most horrendous stench I have ever smelled in my life and my poor two little girls surounded by it all. I not sure they have ever forgotten or forgiven.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 08:38 PM

I spent several days looking at this thread title and vaguely wondering what is was about, but having this nagging feeling I didn't need to know...tonight I was bored, and I'm sad.

blah! Not only about the ideas, but about the purpose. No one needs that kind of revenge. I have heard of NON-destructive smelly practical jokes..(Limburger under the dirt in a flower pot, mt father told me)...but actually planning things which could cause $$$$ detriment to the car?

Sorry,...not my idea of funny OR revenge.

Subject: RE: BS: Making cars smell bad
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 17 Nov 05 - 07:27 PM

For a friend's wedding - I did the car. If you remember the old teletype machines, they used paper tape. The chads from this were tiny - 2 sizes small, and very small. A cupful of this inside the front air ducts worked well. They went on a month long drive around honeymoon thru Tasmania. 3 months later, every time they turned on the air con, still out would fly a couple of chads...