BS: What did your ex do after you ?

Subject: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: GUEST,Rachel
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 12:33 PM

Hi,

I split up from my ex a year ago. Since then he has started wearing hippy style clothes, after having been a "man at C&A" for 20 years. He has made friends with people that he despised before. He has just about spent all his money on his new girl, when he wouldn't spend a penny on me. He has put on loads of weight, when he spent all our time together insulting me for being over weight.

Have any of you seen changes in your exes; changes that you would never have expected ?

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: GUEST,Pixie
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 12:35 PM

My ex spent all his time spurting racist venom, which I refuised to put up with, and it was one of the reasons why I left him. Then he went away with a girl of the nationality that he was always insulting.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:16 PM

Moved in with a 16 year old a week after I kicked him out. And apparently they're still goin at it twenty drunken, punch-happy years later.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: kendall
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:17 PM

My ex is married to a collegue in her profession, lives in VT, happily, I guess. We are still friends, and what happened between us was no one's fault, we just didn't "hitch horses" as a married couple.
I kinda wish I had someone to blame
The fact is, when we look into a mirror, we see two people. Our best friend, and our worst enemy. I don't care who you are, all mirrors are made of the same stuff, and you see them too.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:18 PM

"What did your ex do after you ?"

Don't know... don't care!

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:23 PM

Got re-attached within a year to someone more suited to his needs.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: GUEST,Sara
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:32 PM

I understand saying " I don't know.. don't care", but I think the point of the post is whether they changed a lot, or not. We are all different things to different people. It can be intertesting to see how we change, especially when it's someone you know so well ( or think you know ).

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:39 PM

"whether they changed a lot, or not"

Ideally we are all changing all the time....

I'm gonna add an addendum... There is one girl that I lost track of, that I'd just like to know that she's doin' o.k...

So if yer out there, and ya know who ya are, drop me a line sometime

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Mr Red
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:39 PM

something notorious but I asked not to be told.................

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: MBSLynne
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:52 PM

Which one?

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:54 PM

MuckCats probably not big enough for you to list 'em all Lynne

Besides... shouldn't you be eating cake or something?

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Peace
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 01:57 PM

ex says it all.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 02:06 PM

Not too worried what she did...some of which could have been hurtful and/or annoying....more interested in how my life has changed for the better.
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 02:59 PM

I can't tell, because I don't have one. Been married to the same woman for more than 32 years now (much to the surprise of many).

If you mean ex-girl friends, well, one lives in the Bay Area and works for Farmers' Insurance company. I dunno what happened to the other five or six hundred....

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: LilyFestre
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 03:40 PM

I consider my ex to be the last boyfriend I had before I met the love of my life and got married.

As far as I know, he hasn't changed much. He still loves all kinds of tech things, loves to play games, sci-fi stuff and is silly. I like all those things too...just not all the time. So I can't really say if he's changed a whole lot...and that's fine...that's just the way he is.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: gnu
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 04:06 PM

I assume she rued the daysss, nay, yearsss, that she treated me so poorly. Knowing her, however, she may have rejoiced in having treated me so poorly for as long as I put up with her crap. That sounds cynical, but, I was there... for thirteen years, five months, seventeen days, eleven and a half hours. Bitter? No. Better.

As far as the next thread, entitled, "What did you do after your ex ?", well, my tenth anniversary is just three weeks away and I intend to celibate. Alone, as it were.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: MBSLynne
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 04:10 PM

I was eating cake Clinton...couldn't you tell I was typing that with my mouth full??

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 04:54 PM

She went on to appear as the main subject on two seperate CBS full length 60 Minutes expose' human interest stories.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Charmion
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 05:08 PM

The same stuff he did with me -- which is why I'm so glad he doesn't have my phone number, let alone my bank account number or a key to my house.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: GUEST,member sans cookie--call me Ishmael
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 07:32 PM

I only know of a few things my ex did after our separation.

She continued the sexual acting out that had been a problem while we were together. I heard from a pair of mutual friends—a lesbian couple—that she had propositioned one of them while the other was present. These friends were strictly monogamous and were rather grossed out by the suggestion. My ex, as far as any of us knew, had been strictly heterosexual up to that point. I guess she was in a mood to experiment.

Two months after she left me and moved to a nearby city, she returned here to vote in a local election. She said she considered it OK because she was still at that point co-owner of the house we had lived in. I considered it election fraud. I thought about turning her in, but I didn't, thinking people would see it as a spiteful move on my part (which it certainly would have been), but I still wonder whether I did the right thing.

She married a guy much younger than herself, a pothead that she had picked up as a hitchhiker in California. Despite the inauspicious beginning, they are still together some 20 years later.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 08:57 PM

Ha!

Started messin' 'round with her sansai (she was a karate instructor), then it was Jeff, or was it Greg???

No matter... That was a long time ago...

Since I have been blessed with two great women, Judy, who died of cancer in 1996 and the P-Vine... The ex couldn't hold a candle to either of them...

But I wish her all the best, non the less...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 10:32 PM

My ex spent about ten years living the carefree, unattached, I-need-a-man-like-a-fish-needs-a-bicycle lifestyle that she claimed she wanted when we split up. Then she did a total 180 and married an extremely conservative retired military officer. She now lives with Neocon Hubby on a ranch in Crawford, Texas (Yes, right down the road from Dubya's spread.) where she raises miniature burros and goats.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 10:41 PM

Just think, BWL:, all that could have been yours...

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Bobert
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 10:45 PM

So she's now with an ass rancher, Bee-zer? Well, lotta asses been raised in them parts, I hear...

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Deda
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 12:33 AM

Stayed put, helped raise our kids, continued to go "in & out of the money" on a roller coast too steep and unpredictable for my taste. He still lives in the same house we bought together 25 years ago. He's never hooked up with anyone else for long. We split in 1987, and I've been very happily re-married for 9 1/2 years!

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 12:39 AM

Who was it wrote: The only goodyears that we had were the tires on our car...

My ex and only went on to marry a woman with five kids, the first one born when she was but 13 years old, and they lived happily, I think, for 30 some years until she died of emphysema and heart disease. (She was one of those classic cases who turned off her oxygen in order to have a cigarette.) Then he moved back to his birth family (connected by marriage to MY birth family) where he has married again, and after bypass surgery finally quit smoking. He seems happy again; my family likes him a lot.

He is the only man I know who is grandfather to four sets of twins. (One by marriage)

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 05:32 AM

He married a woman!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Naemanson
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 07:41 AM

Mine continued to turn into her mother, a woman she always said she dispised. My kids showed me a picture of them and a strange looking old woman. When I asked who it was they looked at me strangely and told me it was their mother! Last time I saw her she looked ten years older than me and I barely recognized her.

I wish happiness for her but she wouldn't understand the sentiment and if she experienced it she would look for something to complain about. The only woman I know who would go to heaven and complain about the decor.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 11:12 AM

What did she do after me?

She picked up after me. I was always leaving underwear and socks strewn around the apartment.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: kendall
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 11:25 AM

We learn from making mistakes. No one ever learned anything by doing something right.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 11:40 AM

Who did your ex do after you?

I knew him from years before. They deserved each other.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 12:11 PM

My ex-wife continued to turn into her father, a man she always said she despised. Our divorce was final December 31, 1993; and she got married to another guy the following April. They went on a belated honeymoon camping trip that September, and he left her at the bus station in Grand Junction, Colorado. She took the bus home and was single for ten years. Now she seems to be happily married to a very nice guy, and she seems to have gotten over whatever it was that pained her so much for the twenty years we were married. And she doesn't seem to be following her father's angry ways any more.
But I'm glad I'm not married to her. I've been married to my wonderful Christina for almost four years now.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: sian, west wales
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 12:42 PM

I believe that my first ex (and the only one to whom I was actually married) finally came out of the closet; not unconnected to the divorce. What I found more rewarding - and which I can now report without giggling, almost - is that he was then deported. Also not unconnected to the divorce, but not by my instigation. Honest.

Outwardly, I've kept a straight face in telling you this. OK: I'm giggling inside. So shoot me.

siân

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Mr Red
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 01:24 PM

kendall

I disagree - I learn a hell of a lot from getting it right, provided I remember what I did to get there. I learn what NOT to do from getting it wrong. If you get it right first time you don't learn what not to do, but if you are a conservative sort of person you repeat your successes.
If you suspect failure you can turn on the perspicacity, observe and deduce.

I guess the actuality is a bit of a blur anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Dave'sWife
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 01:49 PM

I've been married for almost ten years to my husband, who is patient and kind and wonderful - everything a woman could ask for.

The fella before him was a tortured artist/novelist. He did quite well for a time and began working in film. He was about 14 or 15 years older than me. I was 29 when we broke up.

He married a very young girl who had worked in a sex dungeon and as dominatrix. She didn't give up her work once married. She was quite a smart little girl. She stayed married just long enough to get the house in the eventual divorce when she left him for an even older, wealthier man. I was never sure which one of that pair I was supposed to pity more. During that marriage he used to find a lot of reasons to walk by my house which was creepy. He'd stand and smoke cigarettes across the street.

Thankfully, he seems to have found love and happiness with a woman closer to his own age. My husband and I saw them walking down the street hand in hand not long ago. Oddly enough, she resembles me quite a bit if I were much heavier and 10 to 15 years older.

Good for them I say. Life's too short. I hope he feels the same way when they see my husband and I strolling hand in hand while out walking the dog.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: GUEST,Janice in MA today
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 12:23 PM

I have never been married in any sense of the word, legal, religious, or even informal, so I don't have an ex. But I have had three pretty serious relationships, and here's what became of each significant other. No. 1: older man, married but living apart from wife and kids, political activist and somewhat notable musician. He's dead. No. 2: woman approximately the same age as me, biology teacher, now retired, has new and younger honey bunny, spends a couple of weeks each summer in P-Town on the Cape, flies South for winter, not a musician but likes mostly jazz. We're still good friends. No. 3: woman 12 years my junior, very sexy, registered nurse, heavy into C&W, rockabilly, honky-tonking. We're not on very good terms at the moment, but that too shall pass. As Woody said of his first wife, "She was right from her side and I was right from mine." Dylan reworked that line into One Too Many Mornings: "You're right from your side and I'm right from mine." Isn't that almost always the case?

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: muppitz
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 01:15 PM

I didn't really want to know but we work at the same place so other people felt it necessary to 'keep me informed'.
Apparently, 3 weeks after me he got with a woman he met on the internet. A week into the relationship she spent something like 6 days in hospital and he rushed to her bedside and made a vigil, got out of work for a week because of it.

muppitz x

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 01:55 PM

I'm still with my first wife.

I've been in love with the same woman for 20 years. If my wife finds out, she will kill me.


(insert drumroll)


So, anybody from out of town??......

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 01:59 PM

Actually I have wondered what became of some of my ex-girlfriends, but the damn restraining orders make it real tough to find out anything.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 02:00 PM

Should this thread be combined with the "Who Likes Hairy Women" thread?

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Kaleea
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 02:16 PM

I found out over 20 years later from a friend who'd run into him somewhere that the feller who "missed out on too much" by marrying me (I was younger & missed more) left the Army a couple of months after we split, immediately plunged deeply into debt (one of the things I tried to keep "us" from doing), went for a masters degree in counseling (this yahoo refused to go to marriage counseling with me), got married soon (he said he didn't want to be married ever again-it tied him down too much), became a bar hopping non recovering alcolholic & went into the profession of chemical dependency counseling. Oh, yeah, and this same feller whom I met in church and was a chaplain's assistant in the army & wanted to study for the ministry--never went to church again.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Firecat
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 03:58 PM

I've heard rumours of what my ex-fiance did after he dumped me for no reason whatsoever...

I saw his through the car window back in May and he'd grown his hair so it looked really straggly and horrible (after he'd insisted he always had it really short when we were together) and looked as if he was "on" something.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: annamill
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 04:05 PM

He stopped drinking.

Now this doesn't sound like much, but our whole relationship was based on drinking. 17 years of it. From the moment we met until way after we broke up, he spent every non-working, non-passed out moment drinking. I spent a most our time together doing the same. As drinking can make you very romantic, it worked out well for us, but then he became abusive to our son and my daughter.

It had to stop. It did and I moved on to Honey. The most wonderful, kindest, gentlest, soberist man I have ever known.

I still drink til I'm lost every once in a while, but mostly my Honey has deeply influenced me and I am mostly sober. (He does love it when I've had a few and lose my inhabitions ;-)

Tho I'm very glad it's over, sometimes I miss the drunken, sexy, craziness of the past relationship.

He's sober now. I wouldn't even know who he was.

Wow! What a catharsis(sp) that was.

Love, Annamill

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 06:05 PM

Ya don't miss yer water 'til yer well runs dry.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 06:16 PM

In my case, I'd say that my ex-girlfriends all continued doing pretty much the same things they were doing when we were together...

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 06:27 PM

She emmigrated to New Zealand with our son. Started a new relationship and we are friends.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: kendall
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 10:23 PM

Firecat, believe me there is a reason. You just don't know it.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Cats at Work
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 09:21 AM

Many years ago, I came home and found a note saying 'gone to live in the monastery'. He was a Buddhist and as far as I know, he's still there!

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Moses
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 09:49 AM

My ex drives an hour and a half most Sundays to cook me lunch and see the children (both of whom are older than 22)

This, despite his assurances that if I went ahead with the divorce I and the girls would never see him again!

We now get on much better than we did for the last 20 years of our marriage and I still care about what happens to him although I wouldn't want to "get back together" as a couple.

It is possible to remain on good terms - I think mainly in our case because we avoided the mud-slinging and viciousness that can happen when things break down. We still maintained a respect for each other even through the difficult times when we were divorced but still living in the same house (not recommended).

Guess I'm one of the lucky ones.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: GUEST,Teri
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 12:33 PM

What about sex with your ex ? Should you ? Shouldn't you ?

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: bobad
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 02:17 PM

I think you should take the ex out of sex.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 03:11 PM

Mine found someone else of course. One guy even got together within 48 hours of my leaving!!!

Rhiannon

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: Drumshanty
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 05:04 PM

I fretted about this for a while recently when I found out that my ex took to enjoying himself a lot more than he did when I was around. He went to Glastonbury Festival (never took me though I begged for 11 years); he went to India and fell in love with it; got his own business, made a fortune, sold it, now is buggering off to live in Australia.

No women though. Funny that...

I stopped fretting about it when a friend pointed out what I'd done since making him my ex.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: dianavan
Date: 25 Nov 05 - 02:37 PM

I was very worried about my ex when we broke up and feeling a little guilty about leaving him but...

His depression came to a sudden end in less than a month. Thats when a friend called to ask me if it was really over. When I said, yes; she said, good because I want him.

She was a wonderful step-mother.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Nov 05 - 10:19 AM

absolutely nothing

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 26 Nov 05 - 02:57 PM

They both took up with/married somebody else and lived to regret it. This doesn't give me any particular pleasure. These ladies brought my children up well and we are all still pretty friendly.

Subject: RE: BS: What did your ex do after you ?
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 10:42 AM

moved on to the next one while still with me and she was more than a match for him, so much so they got married and are living happily ever after, till he gets bored