BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 07:53 PM

The world is so full of a number of things
I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings
Despite all the wonders described, old chap
whenever I switch on, it seems to be crap.

Einstein had E=MCsquared
the BBC has the formula applied ruthlessly - PVTS (Posh voices talking shite)
Noddy Holder was saying tonight on the box, Radio 4 only uses a regional accent when it wants to imply the character is really thick.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Nemesis
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 06:48 PM

I must be watching a different national tele' or summat? Have terrestial + Freeview .. there are excellent documentaries on e.g. Dick Gaughan?? ; watched (ITV) LOTR .. for free and handy tea breaks every 20 mins or so, BB2 new David Attenborough insect docu .. if you like that sort of thing .. BBC1 Bleak House is superb.. (but, Rome's script is rubbish, even if the set and screening is fab)... BBC4 "The Lost World of Mitchell and Kenyon" (archive cinematic footage from 1890s) ... Channel 4: Ian Hislop's new documentary about WW1, brilliant, poignant and timely .. The Culture Show .. University Challenge, Making Slough Happy ... Alan Yentob's Arts prog about Elgar .. African Queen is on tomorrow (not seen this yet).. Louis Malle's "Le Feu Follet" .. even light relief with "QI" and the Late Show with Marcus Brigstocke (brilliant handling a few months ago of the rabid Stephen Green)... Dr WHO is back soon too.. and Gervase on this evening?

For less than three quid a week, I think that's excellent!!

TV WAS going depressingly downhill up until a year ago, but with Charter renewal the BBC have had to pull their socks up .. ITV have realised that drama is where it's at, ditto Channel 4 have realised that it's pointless scheduling "yoof" programes for hip, young, things - they're out at clubs, and it's us older and somewhat more discerning viewers who actually watch TV! Even Channel 5 is getting in on the "culture" act... the broadcasters are picking up on national trends for more people visiting the cinema, theatre, wanting "cultural holidays", reading (or at least buying) more books, etc - and generally being more demanding of and for culture. (These are all verifiable statistics btw)

Get a life? No, get a "Radio Times"!!

(And then you can plan in the digital BBC radio stations through Freevieew and do the ironing at the same time...)

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: GUEST,Puzzled
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 06:14 PM

So why watch it, then? Read a book, learn a skill, have a conversation.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 05:37 PM

What do you mean by "the last few weeks" Mr Happy - you mean you have only just noticed it?

My hand on the TV control
I scan through all the channels in their turn
Sometimes the TV I want to burn
Such rubbish that they churn
No cultured programmes anywhere, they only feed us pap
With perverts and celebrities that talk a lot of crap
If I could put them on my knee I'd take to them my strap
But I'm proud - To be a grumpy old man
Yes I'm proud - To be a grumpy old man
Don't try to explain 'cause I don't want to understand
I'm just proud - To be a grumpy old man.

(from "Grumpy Old Man", G. Papavgeris Aug 2005)

Proves I noticed at least a couple of months before you!

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 05:24 PM

I missed that in favour of going out to the cinema.... seeing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Malfoy gets turned into a ferret and Harry spends a lot of time in skimpy (or no) clothing.... he's turning out quite nicely that young Harry...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Les from Hull
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 05:08 PM

This must be worth at lesat some of the licence fee Life in the Undergrowth I just watched the first one and it's a belter! Of course if you don't like creepy-crawlies it might not appeal, but I loved it.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Folkiedave
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 01:59 PM

If you think UK TV is bad then wait until you see Spanish TV. In the USA for a month the most interesting programme was the Weather Channel.

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Les from Hull
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 01:59 PM

There's also good stuff on BBC3 and BBC4 and on BBC Radio7 (if you can get a digital signal). My answer is to have a twin tuner digital box with a hard drive, which means I can record the stuff when it's transmitted and then watch it when I want. These boxes cost about 150 quid, but I recon they're worth it.

Of course if you haven't got a good digital signal you can always get radio through the BBC website. I heartily recommend BBC Radio7 to all non-UK 'catters as well. You can listen to it and think nice thoughts about the UK people who are paying for you to have the joy of listening to excellent radio with no adverts.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Mr Red
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 01:33 PM

Mr Happy - the feeling I get with pay TV is that it is a little bit more complete and a lot more utter tripe. Pay for it and you will scream at the screen when the ads come on.

If you don't like football or football or football don't even think of Sky Sports - if the FOOTBALL is rained off everything else is off - your favourite sport is not as important as football but they might just show you last week's or last years conference league halftime highlights just to wet your ..............................

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 12:39 PM

Ironic that Mr Happy... in our house (and bearing in mind last night's programme content and the thread title) he's known as Hugh Fearlessly Eatsitall.

Still, it was good to see bits of Dorset again.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 10:21 PM

BBC4 showing some GREAT stuff!

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: GUEST,Mr Happy
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 09:58 PM

more bollox 2nite!- aaaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhh!

99% content of telly is shite!

BUT some glimmas of hope- a fab flim I saw t'other nite 'Notting Hill'- rare Brit flim.

Then there's River Cottage stuff Wed nites- how to live orft de land wid Hue Fearnly Whittenstall et al.

Wed nites is same as Mr Happy's big nite out at Mr Happy's Come-all-ye, Mystery Guest + free buties every weak!

Its a bit of a buger that a lot of best tely stuf coincides with me bugrin off out to do folkin' about!

best get a life & bugrof out evry nite & folk about- cos tely's all crap!

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 09:38 PM

I've often wondered about that DtG, but I suppose most people, especially in the South have never tasted tripe.

It'd make more sense to call it crap; nobody likes THAT much.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 12:15 PM

BTW - I like tripe! Why use it as a derogatory term? ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 11:09 AM

I think television is caught in two vicious cycles.

1. It's been around for about 50 years. The people whose imagination and intelligence were crippled by too much viewing as young people are now producing the programs.

2. Meanwhile, with every passing year, fewer intelligent people are watching. The programs have to cater to increasingly mediocre people, and then the mediocre programs drive off additional intelligent viewers and so forth.
-----------
Somebody posting above mentioned flickering and migraines. That's another reason why I almost never watch TV or movies.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 11:07 AM

I'm sure you are not stupid at all Don:-) I hope I didn't come across as suggesting so? My only point really was that it sounded rather like you were suggesting that once the analogue signal goes 'poor people' will not be able to watch TV becasue they cannot afford it! That is obviously untrue as the cost of a freeview box, as I said, is now very low.

Out of interest the basic NTL package does not give much more than freeview anyway! I only spotted Sky 1 that is sometimes worth watching - They charge £5.50 a month for that though and it does not have at least one of the channels (ABC) that freeview does have:-(

I have an almost full NTL package anyway so it does not affect me too much and to be honest if I watch 10 hours of TV a week it is a lot, so I dunno why I am even talking about it! Just contrary I guess;-)

What about the new series of updated Shakespeare plays or the new production of Bleak House or even Dr Who! Surely they score some points. Mind you, they are more than removed again by I am not really a celebrity, get me out of here...

Cheers

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: GUEST,crazy little woman
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 10:52 AM

"Whatever happened to sex, singing, sex, playing CD's, sex, drinking, sex, eating, sex"

Come to Kansas City heh heh. Hell, we're even going to sing John Rutter on December 18th.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 10:45 AM

SINKING to the level of US TV (hollow laugh)?

A sizeable proportion of it IS US TV!

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: frogprince
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 10:40 AM

Sounds like your TV may be sinking to the level of our (U.S)TV.   
At the moment, though, there are at least four things per week that I try to catch. For at least a year, I never turned on a regular first-run show on a major channel. The percentage of advertising time here has been going up faster than the rate of blinking after the satellites were hacked; I seriously wouldn't bet that over 50% of the time won't be advertising soon, with "hour long" stories dumbed down enough to squeeze in.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 10:16 AM

Dave the Gnome, I am not quite stupid enough to be unaware of Freeview. I left it out because I have seen the kind of programs supplied.

You get the terrestrial channels complained of by Mr Happy, plus maybe two or three half decent satellite/cable channels, then (surprise surprise) it's topped up with all the shopping, auction, and reality TV crap that I for one could well do without.

It is considerably below the standard of the cheapest, and most basic Sky/Telewest packages.

What is needed is a serious ass kicking for BBC and ITV program makers, and a return to the days when they cared about the viewers with more than one brain cell.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 08:14 AM

Yes, the first posting seems to suggest that the only possible alternative to terrestrial TV is non-terrestrial TV.

Whatever happened to sex, singing, sex, playing CD's, sex, drinking, sex, eating, sex ....

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 08:01 AM

A couple of years ago when the TV licence reminder came through the letter box we realised that we hadn't switched it on for the last 5 weeks. So the TV went.
We haven't noticed anything likely to persuade us to start watching since.
It was the constant dumbing down, documentaries taking 90 minutes to impart 90 seconds worth of info. That and wall to wall DIY and gardening. We were too busy DOING the DIY and gardening!

I must admit that a higher resolution screen would help, as would a higher refresh rate as my wife gets migraine from the flickering of flourescent tubes and TV is just on the edge of a problem.

Haven't missed it yet and the family won't be coming to us for Christmas because there's no TV!

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: gnomad
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 06:17 AM

Had a freeview box at my last home and can relate to Gervase's addiction to the edited highlights of the TV age.

Don't know how my new town (Whitby) will deal with the analogue switch-off though, as most of us (including me) are unable to get channel 5, hence no freeview. Planning regs prevent many of us from putting up a satelite dish if we wanted to,and could afford one.

As a bonus DAB radio doesn't get here and isn't scheduled to do so in the forseeable future.

Of course we do get to pay the full licence fee, just as if we had a full service.

Luckily, or maybe even as a consequence, there is a thriving live culture to take part in, so the telly can to a great extent go hang.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 05:52 AM

or even how come...

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 05:51 AM

but they don't intend to help poor people who can't afford to buy an expensive new digital set

Last time I checked in Asda you could get a digibox for about £30! If 'poor people' can afford £126.50 for a TV licence home come they can't afford £30 for a digibox?

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 05:37 AM

Interesting Gervase... from one about to make an appearance on the gogglebox yourself......

I've not managed that yet, but I was on Radio 4 once.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: GUEST,Square eyed and squinting
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 04:45 AM

Never mind all this BBC is best bollocks for years the best thing on telly has been the adverts

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: GUEST,Ears on
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 04:43 AM

You are missing the point It doesnt matter whats on telly as long as it funds Radios 3 and 4

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Gervase
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 04:13 AM

There are good bits, as Keith said. I saw the Somme docu-drama on More4 last night and thought it was excellent. Trouble is, there is an awful lot of crap as well. I mean, "I'm a celebrity..."? One programme as a novelty maybe, but they're still screening the shite, and ITV is plugging it as though it's some sort of TV Holy Grail.
Since we got a Freeview box I find myself watchng more and more old stuff, like "Rising Damp" and "The Good Life" and leaving the BBC1 and ITV alone. Or maybe it's just that I'm getting old and crusty.
Thank gawd for Radio 4 - especially "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue", "The Archers", "Any Questions"...the radio's worth the licence fee on its own.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 03:34 AM

What about Spooks and Bodies?
Best drama for years I thought.
One offs eg The Somme last week.
Ian Hislop series just started.
Jewels among the dross.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 03:16 AM

pm me with your e-mail if you'd like the mp3

pm, mp3, e-mail ...you see I can speak t..t perfectly, or maybe you've already noticed.

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 02:47 AM

Welcome to the world of shitty TV the rest of the globe enjoys, folks.

The mass media reminds me of my Dad at the supper table when I was a kid: "You'll eat it and you'll learn to like it!"

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 02:34 AM

Love it Weelittledrummer, it's 7.30am bloody freezing, and you gave me a good laugh.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 02:27 AM

took the words out my mouth, recent song:-

Have a drink its Christmas
LETS HAVE A DRINK
ITS SODDING CHRISTMAS!

lets have a drink
Its Christmas
cos its bollocks on the telly
lets give it some welly
lets have a drink
Its Christmas
I've got me Santa Claus hat
And I'm pissed as a twat

I dont need a bottle
I need a whole soddin crate
I dont need a woman
just me soddin mates
Merry soddin Christmas!
You try being Merry
Soddin' repeats of June and Terry
I need out of this shit hole
the great escape - my son
Steve McQueens motorbike
Right up his bum
Its sodding Bing Crosby
Dick sodding van Dyke
Its all them pictures
That nobody likes

lets have a drink
Its Christmas
Theres sod all on the telly
so give it some welly
lets have a drink
Its Christmas
Either shut your gob
Or show us your nob

Got the radio times, the tv times/
and the satellite
200 channels of complete shite
Order in the courtroom
here comes the Queen
All that money
Its soddin obscene
My husband and I
were drinkin guinness all night
ones shit turns black
but one feels all right


lets have a drink
Its Christmas
Theres sod all on the telly
So give it some welly
lets have a drink
Its Christmas
Edward my son
you have a large spotty bum

We had a bootiful turkey
What a pity its dead
It had a marvellous life
In its organic shed
Plenty of sex, plenty of feed
More bleedin drugs in it
than soddin Lou Reed
Its not the turkeys fault
if you gets the shits
Need hormone replacement
and grow big tits

lets have a drink
Its Christmas
Theres nothin on the telly
Lets give it some welly
lets have a drink
Its Christmas
wear your Santa Claus hat
An act like a twat

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 01:31 AM

Ver polite of you Mr Happy, my own description is ' total shite '

eric

Subject: RE: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 08:40 PM

I think you are right about the programming, and the reasons. The government want to ensure that when they pull the plug on analogue broadcasting, nobody will give a damn, but they don't intend to help poor people who can't afford to buy an expensive new digital set, so it has to be so unpalatable that even NO TV will be an improvement.

Mr. Murdoch, of course, is only too willing to have a ready made monopoly to which the Monopolies and Mergers Commission cannot object, so he has helped them by grabbing all the decent stuff.

HE doesn't have to worry about the viewers, where else can they go?

Don T.

Subject: BS: British TV: Utter Tripe!
From: GUEST,Mr Happy
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 07:34 PM

Telly last few weeks since I've bin stuck in nights seems absolute twaddle most nights - guess its a ploy to switch us all over to pay tv- via Sky, cable etc!

What think youse?