BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....

Subject: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: GUEST,hilda
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 11:28 AM

My boyfriend says he would cut off a hand for me if he had to, but he won't even wash the dishes for me ( or himself). I think I will look back and see that as a sign that I should have know to "get out". Does anybody else remember anythings their partners have said that should have been a sign of the need to get out of the relationship quick !

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Paul Burke
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 11:29 AM

"Hello"

That was 34 years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 11:47 AM

Washing the dishes is womens' work. No self respecting chap would perform such menial tasks.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 11:51 AM

I've never been in a relationship that I had to get out of quickly....

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 11:51 AM

"Does this dress make me look fat?"

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 12:09 PM

Do you mind if my Dad moves in ?

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 01:19 PM

Pay attention to your boyfriend's behavior. That is what tells you what's what.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Kaleea
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 01:33 PM

Washing dishes is not on the wide world of sports. It's not extreme enough, nor does it have anything to do with spurting of blood. Now, if the same feller were challenged to wash dishes while, for example, scaling the side of a mountain, it would be termed "extreme dishwashing," and placed right up there with bunjee jumping and "extreme ironing."

In the musical, Camelot, Guinevere described "what women want"(?-not!):

"where are the simple joys of maidenhood?
where are all those adoring daring boys?
will the knights fight and kill for me and
let their blood be spilled for me?
Oh, where are the simple joys of maidenhood?

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 02:38 PM

The Extreme Ironing Bureau

(I wonder why they didn't call it The Extreme Ironing Board?)

(Hey, maybe we should start a web site called The Extreme Irony Board.)

(But would that even be a good name for it? Maybe giving it a straightforward name wouldn't be ironic enough.)

(Maybe we should call it The Extreme Sincerity Board. Is that ironic enough? But then people wouldn't get the joke.)

(But maybe the whole point of Extreme Irony is that no one ever gets the joke.)

(I think I just confused myself.)

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Morticia
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 03:28 PM

it's not you, it's me......

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: mg
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 03:31 PM

if he was otherwise a stalwart fellow, and truly would pull me out of a burning car or whatever, then I would either wash the dishes myself or hire someone to do it. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: greg stephens
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 03:44 PM

What's "washing dishes"? The ones in our cupboard always seem to be clean, I don't think they need washing.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: el_punkoid_nouveau
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 04:08 PM

"Hands off, he's mine"

And we're still together 16 years later...

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 05:53 PM

I think we need to talk........ always signals a bad move on someone's part...

Mind you, I didn't have a great deal of luck with 'you're the best thing that ever happened to me'.... shortly before cracking my skull.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 06:12 PM

Beware when your girlfriend says "I'll cook you a meal darling" or "I'll do your washing for you" or "I'll tidy and clean your house for you"...then of course she does it religiously until you've married her and been together a couple of years (childless or otherwise) and she suddenly starts saying "You never do anything"!!!!!
You never wash up, you never hoover, you never dust etc etc......
I do believe it is healthy for couples to share tasks...that is all household tasks.....especially if the wife is working....but many women take on a role before marriage that they do not want to keep up after......I believe all couples should lay out the ground rules before marriage...start as you mean to go on so to speak...What do you think?
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 06:37 PM

"I promise he/she is just a platonic friend"

"I`ve know her/him since we were kids"

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Deckman
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 06:43 PM

I liked the line: "I just happened to be in the neighborhood!" She said this on my doorstep one night, trying to hide a suitcase behind her, and I knew she lived 100 miles away! Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: bobad
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 08:01 PM

I need to find myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 08:15 PM

Deckman

I had that one tried on me, but she had asked me to come and pick her up. After we had loaded the 3 suitcases into the car, I told her we were going to my mum's place...

She insisted on being let out of the car immediately where we were in the rain. I drove past an hour later, and she was being put into the back seat of a police car - with no door handles on the inside.

Oh, BTW, she was still dressed in her full medieval outfit - she was in the SCA...

Lucky, eh?

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Deckman
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 08:35 PM

Foolestroupe ... though I might be well tempted to agree with you, I'm afeared to. Can you imagine the direction this thread would drift if a couple of us guys started talking about how just how lucky we were to escape ... such and such! My gawd, we'd have EVERY self rightous woman on MC lambasting us for our chauvintistic and self centered minds.

(and of course ... they would be totally correct) So, for that reason, I'm going to TOTALLY DISSAGREE WITH YOU ... YOU ASSHOLE!! Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Deckman
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 08:45 PM

Besides if I didn't chew you out for your sexist comments, I'd have to start telling more and more stories of the same nature that i posted ... and then I'd REALLY be in trouble ... again! CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 08:48 PM

Deckman,

I must have left out the word 'erratic' somewhere... I did cut the story back from my normal 3 hour version...

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: hesperis
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 08:48 PM

Don't go out with someone who won't tell you their age without it being a tooth-pulling effort, even if you like them a lot. Age between people who care about each other shouldn't be a problem... so if one person is too ashamed to admit something concerning their age... then that IS a problem and will cause problems down the line even if their age (once you get them to tell you) doesn't matter to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Deckman
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 08:59 PM

Foolestroupe ... was her name "Annie" by any chance? Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 09:52 PM

"I still love you. It's just that I think we need more 'space' in our relationship. I need a new challenge. Maybe I'll take an art class or something."

"Guess who I ran into at the art class?"

"Why don't you go ahead and go to the concert by yourself. I'm sure you'll enjoy it without me. You'll probably see some friends there. I just remembered I have this art gallery opening I need to go to. No, I can't remember the artist's name. It's something the teacher recommended. I'll see you afterwards."

"I'm sorry, honey, it's just that a few of us went out for drinks after the gallery opening and I sort of lost track of the time."

"I SAID I WAS SORRY. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?"

"I don't know. I liked it, so I bought it." (After a while, you notice that you have two of everything. Two cars, two desks, two beds… Then suddenly you have one of everything again.)

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 10:01 PM

"was her name "Annie" by any chance?"

well, funnily enough, now that you should mention it... her SCA name did involve Anne..

But I'm truly wiser now... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Peace
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 10:07 PM

If she says, "Dave, we've gotta talk", that's not a good thing. Especially if your name's Alan.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: LilyFestre
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 10:45 PM

This isn't something that is said, but I was always told to watch how the boyfriend treats his mother as you will eventually be treated the same.

My husband treats his mother like gold, and treats me even better. :)

I think it was good advice.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 10:54 PM

Watch how the mother treats the father.., and vice versa...

in cases where there is an absence of such family members, it is not so easy.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 29 Nov 05 - 11:44 PM

Watch how he (or she) treats YOUR mother.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Jeanie
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 03:34 AM

In hindsight, I would now be very wary of anyone who quickly wanted to establish a routine of contacting me several times throughout the day by phone or text. At first, it can seem quite "sweet" and flattering, especially if you have been out of a relationship for a while, and it's so easy to fall into this - it can become routine habit within weeks, and the frequency of the number of messages per day will increase.

It seemed "sweet" at first, but soon came the anxious, agonised texts: "Are you alright ? You didn't reply !!!" if I had been busy working or driving when the text arrived and I hadn't replied within 20 minutes. The same applies if someone wants to quickly set up a "set in concrete" pattern of phoning at a certain time every evening that you are not seeing each other. This particular man arranged a pattern of calling me at home at 9 o'clock in the evening. In hindsight, I can see why this time was set: any earlier, and I could have been going out afterwards; any later, and I could have been out somewhere and come back. It was a way of checking up on me. If I *was* going to be out somewhere, it ensured that he knew about it. (Incidentally, I would have told him, anyway, and the most exciting places I ever went were school plays).

I can see why people do this. If you have been cheated on by a previous partner, you are very scared of it happening again. But it really doesn't feel very nice to think that someone doesn't trust you. I ended up feeling like I was being "electronically tagged" like a crook.

It reminds me very much of that beautiful song, "Roots and Wings" that Vin Garbutt sings:

Why do people cage the things they love the most ?
Is it simply that they fear to be alone ?
If you give your love its freedom, it may stay a while,
If it leaves you, it was never yours to own.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 04:17 AM

Hmmmm, never thought of that - must remember 9pm... ;-0

I always was the rusting type...

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 04:21 AM

er, was the 'trusting' type,

but now rusting in old age, I suppose...

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: MuddleC
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 05:11 AM

-let's just be friends....
-you're too nice....

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: GUEST,DB
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 05:13 AM

How about identifying all of my 'faults' (yes, all 250,000 of them - I'm fundamentally imperfect) and somehow managing to give me a hard time about all of them, simultaneously - but expressing pure horror if I even seemed to imply any of hers?

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 06:20 AM

"Darling, I'm thinking of voting for the socialists at the next election."

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Mr Red
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 08:40 AM

I left your key with the neighbour





(on a piece of paper inside the house!)

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: JennyO
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 09:02 AM

Some things I've had said to me that set off alarm bells:

You're too good for me.

I don't deserve you.

DON'T cut your hair!

All my relationships have a shelf life of 6 years.(actually they were wrong - it only struggled on for 3 years)

I don't know how I'm going to feel in the future - I only know how I feel now.

I'm here for a good time, not a long time(funnily enough, this one lasted for years, and we stayed good friends)


A very wise friend once said - if you are wondering about your relationships, there are three things to consider or ask yourself:

1. Do you feel you are losing your identity?

2. How do they treat other people?

3. Do their actions match their words? (Hilda's example comes to mind - come to think of it, how can they wash up if they've cut their hand off?? :-))

I've found this guide very reliable every time I've applied it. The one with the relationships with a shelf life of 6 years failed on all three counts.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 09:11 AM

"Oh, I think they were pulling the interviewer's leg on that one..." - said right after seeing This Is Spinal Tap - apparently believed it was a real documentary! That should have rung some warning bells...

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 09:13 AM

This thread deserves a link to various rules for characters in folk songs.

It'll never happen again

I ddin't mean it to happen

Also beware if you find yourself saying any of these things. It means you have some serious stuff to sort out.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: GUEST,DB
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 09:54 AM

Does anyone know the song, "Black Dog and Sheepcrook"?
In the song a shepherd has a sweetheart who decides to "go into service if the day ain't too late" and "when into service a year or too bound, then we'll get married, love, and both settle down". But, "a little while after a letter was wrote, to see if my dear Dinah had changed her mind" and "she wrote that she lived such a contrary life, she'd never be a poor shepherd's wife".
I suppose some things never change. Some people will remain happy with what they've got, whereas others will have aspirations for something different.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: MuddleC
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 10:06 AM

here's be black dog and me sheepcrook
I will give them to you
here's me bag and me budget
I will give them to you
here's me black dog and me sheepcrook
I will leave them behind me
fair flora, fair flora
you've proved all unkind

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 06:43 PM

'while we're on the subject.....' or 'now you mention it'..... usually means storm's a-brewing, run for cover!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Folkiedave
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 06:54 PM

Why do people cage the things they love the most ?
Is it simply that they fear to be alone ?
If you give your love its freedom, it may stay a while,
If it leaves you, it was never yours to own.

Written by Brian Bedford of Artisan

Great song......

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: SharonA
Date: 30 Nov 05 - 07:04 PM

"I'll pay the rent for both of us, and then you can give me your half of the rent." Eventually, this situation evolved into (or was manipulated into) "I haven't had much work this month, so could you give me your half of the rent plus x percent of mine?" (where x increased x-ponentially!) I should have foreseen the day I got a call from the landlord mentioning that my boyfriend was several months behind in paying him the rent.

Funny thing... after I moved out, I found I had more "mad money" left in my budget even though my new place had a higher rent...

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Dec 05 - 04:39 AM

Hmm yes, now I remember.... 'Put your money into my account, it will save you bank charges and I can just give you what you need'..... seems I needed a lot less than I thought. And it wasn't the bank charges he had to look out for.... it was the police charges I made when he beat me for opening my own account!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Paul Burke
Date: 01 Dec 05 - 05:19 AM

Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....

"Baaa..."
"How much did you say you'd left me in your will?"
"You mean I'm supposed to take one of these pill things EVERY day?"
"Daddy, what's incest?"
"Funny, MY dad was called Arthur Postlethwaite, and HE came from Smalltown too"
"Look how fast I can drive along this mountain road!"

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Dec 05 - 06:58 AM

I got talking to this nice fellow in town last night, so nice of him to buy all those drinks, and I didn't realise he was a recruiting Sergent until he pointed out which ship I was supposed to be aboard....

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 01 Dec 05 - 07:10 AM

Oh! this brings back memories, some very recent. Ringing her at 10.30 on a Friday night to be told "I'm going out tomorrow" meaning don't come down tomorrow or any other day ever again. This coupled with "but you knew I was looking for someone else all the time". All the time being 5 years! It seems (a) I'm too nice and (b)not exciting enough, oh and (c) niaeve and guillible. Seems to me the internet has a lot be blamed for.

The problem is, the older you get the harder it gets, and the longer it takes to get over it.

Subject: RE: BS: Beware if your boy/girlfriend says.....
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Dec 05 - 07:53 AM

Funny that - I never believed them when the oldies said "It doesn't get any easier" but - you know - I understand now



"AND ANOTHER THING"