BS: Important question . . . .

Subject: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:12 PM

Do goldfish fart?

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:15 PM

OK, so it doesn't rank up there with global warming, species extinction or 'who put the bomp in the bomp shu bomp shu bomp'. However, I would appreciate some serious answers to this. Please.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: number 6
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:19 PM

I dunno about fartin' ... but I've seen one burp.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:22 PM

Well, I don't know about goldfish, but certain Swiss buses & Swiss cable cars do.

Click HERE

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:31 PM

Well, it depends on how much cabbage & beans you feed them.....

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:33 PM

I don't think you people are taking this quite as seriously as I had hoped.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:34 PM

I really don't know about goldfish, but herring seem to communicate to one another by farting. I think golfish probably don't have as much to say, but you never know. Hey - fish really DO talk outta their butts!

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: number 6
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:34 PM

I am Peace ... and I think Bill D has a valid point there.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Alba
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:36 PM

Well now Peace. At last a subject that makes sense. Good for you.
Now you might like to check this: Oh Goldie Pleeeeze
As you can see by this link extensive studies are being carried out as I type but as yet no conlusions have been reached.
My opinion (and it is not qualified) is that if it eats then it Farts and Burps.
I am sure than someone on the Mudcat with an in depth knowledge of Butt Thunder behaviour in Goldfish will no doubt contribute their thoughts and findings on this fascinating issue.
I will trace this thread to make sure I do not miss anything..
Jude..:>)

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: number 6
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:37 PM

I'm keeping my eye on this thread too .... it's intriguing!

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:37 PM

'I am Peace ... and I think Bill D has a valid point there.'

OK, because this is serious stuff.

Azizi, Azizi, Azizi.

Jeri, I am afraid to ask why you knew that.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:39 PM

Yes see here

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:40 PM

Thank you, Alba.

I am so tired of hearing about politicians, religions and war, that for a change I really wanted to get into a subject that has true meaning and philosophical depth. I appreciate you all for posting.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Alba
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:41 PM

WOW Guest way too much information there..lol
A simple yes or no would have been fine....!!!
Damn

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:43 PM

"Some fish, upon taking in too much gas while eating flaky food from the top of an aquarium, will fart out the extra gas which would otherwise disturb their buoyancy."

The above is from GUEST'S excellent link. It makes me wonder if people do so--men people, because I have it on good authority that ladies do not fart, and if they do it has no odor--in the bathtub for the same reason.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:43 PM

Peace, I don't really know how you could ask such a question. It's silly.

Goldfish eat, they digest, of COURSE they're going to fart! Just because they don't have butt-cheeks to lift and they don't seem to scatter the other goldfish with the sound...hey - do goldfish have ears? I guess that would explain why they always look so startled. I mean, Marge Fish is swimming along and goes straight through a trail of bubbles, and thinks, "Yo, Murray! Why don't you give me some sort of warning noise, so...oh yeah - I don't have any ears."

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Alba
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:45 PM

..ah now can Fish smell each others Thunder I wonder?

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:48 PM

"number 6 - PM
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:34 PM

I am Peace ..."

What??! I didn't know that number 6 and Peace are the same person.

"Azizi Azizi Azizi"

Yes?

And?

Okay Okay. Here's my answer.

"Fat funny goldfish fart fast."

I bet you can't say it right 5 times.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:49 PM

"Peace, I don't really know how you could ask such a question. It's silly."

Jeri, you're absolutely correct. It is a frivilous question, and I should know better.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:53 PM

So let me pose this humdinger instead. This question has kept me awake many evenings with rapt wonder: DO EARTHWORMS FART?

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:55 PM

I am afraid that things are getting outta control on this thread. I can't keep up with the posts. Forget the last question. Let me ask this in its stead:


               and if so, then what?

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: number 6
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:55 PM

Azizi ... I am not Peace, peaceful, but I'm not him.

Now ... godfish fartin is a hell of a lot meaningful than Bush, and the dreadful U.S. regime.

But one thing for sure ... if godldfish fart, it is now proven they do by that very link ... I wonder if Bush farts. I bet he is the kind a guy that holds it in.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Alba
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:56 PM

I'll tell you the story of the Windy Roselee
from Yarmouth's fair Harbor she did sail.
Lost to the deep after two days at sea,
sunk by the fart of a Whale!

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: number 6
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:57 PM

If earthworms eat ... then they fart. Didn't that link explain that?

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: LilyFestre
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:59 PM

Of course they do Brucie...but the bigger question here is do goldfish ever get thirsty?

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 08:59 PM

That question made me think of another one: Were those animals in the Dune series giant earth worms or were they dinasaurs or what were they anyway? And if they farted, would their fart smell spicey?

Just wondering.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:03 PM

Peace, this should keep you occupied for a while.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:03 PM

Well, first of all I didn't really know that goldfish even pooped... But, hey, I reckon they had to... Don't they...

But now I've gotten well beyond this little part of biology class that I skipped so while we're in the gereal area, hmmmmmm, how do I ask this so it won't come 'round to bite me later???

Ahhhh, it's about the birds and bees stuff, cept in this case it's, ahhhhh, goldfish.... Like do they have, ummmmmm, you know, ummmmmmm.....

Is so, is the female's "ummmmmmm" waterproof....

Yeah, that's my question....

I know I should have spent more time in high school biology where they teach ya' this kinda imporatnt life skills stuff but....

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: SunnySister
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:03 PM

I thought it a very interesting question, Peace. And my thanks to "Guest" for the link to the answer. I assumed that Goldfish would need to but didn't know for sure.

Strangely, I have a Betta fish that is doing very, very poorly. May not make it past the weekend and I know it might sound strange to some people, but it hurts me not to do more for him. I've changed his water and put a little tonic salt in but still he is losing the battle. Today there was even a little white scaley thing on his head.

I feel so powerless and I'm supposed to be his guardian. Yes, he's a fish-- he's also a living thing that's my responsibility. Whoever said that you can't get attached to fish, hasn't met me...

Take care of your farting goldfish, Peace. You never know when their health could deteriorate. :(

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:06 PM

I truly hope that none of you folks have sharp instruments with you.

Here's the facts. Coming soon to a theatre near you.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:07 PM

What Sunnysister said midway in her story....I ain't gonna touch that with a ten foot pole.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:14 PM

This was the order of posts for a few minutes there. Gave me a good laugh.

BS: Important question . . . .
BS: New Vacuum Cleaner
Tune Req: I Heard The Bluebirds Sing
BS: Pat Robertson- Apoplectic Voice of God

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Alba
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:15 PM

ROFL Azizi...


I have a 50 Gallon Tank filled with Fish of all kinds. Fresh Water.
It upsets me if one gets sick or passes....
so I understand what you are saying SS try this link it gives some good advice on Fish illness and how to deal with certain conditions.
Serious website for Sunny Sister

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:27 PM

Well, I didn't mean it was a silly question in the sense that it was frivolous! If scientists are studying herring farts, it's certainly not frivolous. I just meant that everything that eats must fart. Except I'm not too sure about bugs and some people I've met whose buttholes (I suspect) are clamped down tighter than the airlock on the space shuttle. We're not supposed to be talking about politics though, so I'll just drop it.

I just meant of COURSE fish fart. Except maybe those pufferfish, who probably also are so anal they iron their socks.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Alba
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:28 PM

Although I have nothing to contribute to the Thread whatsoever I am giggling a lot, for some unknown reason. at the thought of "danging with the Stars"!!!!!!
Simple things I know....sigh

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:29 PM

"I've met whose buttholes (I suspect) are clamped down tighter than the airlock on the space shuttle."

LOLOLOL

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:30 PM

LOLOL

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:31 PM

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK. I have a seriously bad case of the giggles.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:40 PM

Is Danging with Stars" better than "Danging with Wolfs"?

And do wolfs fart?

{I threw that 2nd question in so I wouldn't be accused of being off subject}.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:43 PM

Now that you've brought it up, I have to ask whether or not flatulence is a problem with:

a) planeria
b) house and other flies
c) cockroaches
d) rattlesnakes (and if so, does it shake the rattles?)
e) parmecium
f) E. coli
g) viruses (virii?)
h) rickettesiae
i) the energy beings of Altair VI
j) eosinophiles
k) plants
l) fungi
m) slugs and other gastropods
n) octopuses (octopii?)
o) giant squids

Now see what you've done!!!! Before this thread I was happy and ignorant, and now I'm educated and asking questions that prior to this I would never have thought of asking!

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:46 PM

Questions like: 'Who put the bomp in the bomp shu bomp shu bomp'? And does he or she fart before, during, or afterwards?

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:49 PM

Serious reply to Sunny Sister: I'm sorry about your beta. The fish probably don't care about us at all, but we care about them. This describes most of my relationships, so I guess I'm used to it. As a kid, I never got used to losing them. It doesn't matter that they're 'just fish'. WE aren't. Maybe it's just the little guy's time, but might somebody at the fish store have an idea how to help?

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Alba
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:55 PM

and who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong...oh this is getting serious now
Rapaire and Azizi you are stretching my academic limitations by throwing these deeply important questions (that deserve an answer) into Cyberspace.
AND it's all Peace's fault!!!
In the interest of furthering our knowledge we should seek the answers.
I will tackle the only one I think I am sure of:
(i) Absolutely but it appears as a small cluster of pink mass and has no smell whatsoever and the sound cannot be heard by the Human ear. Dogs, however, would have the ability to hear a release but are too far away obviously.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:55 PM

Rapiare, from the second link I gave:

Is there any kind of animal that doesn't fart?
    (Question submitted by Funsux)

    If we define a fart to be an anal escape of intestinal gas, then it follows that animals that lack intestines or an anus cannot fart. Most animals possess intestines and an anus, but there are some that don't. These include:
    Sponges: These organisms lack true tissues and organs. They have just a few types of cells organized into a bag with holes in it. Water flows into some holes and out other holes. Sponges are so different from other animals that some biologists think we shouldn't even call them animals.
    Cnidaria: This phylum includes the jellyfish, corals, sea anemones and hydra. Their tissues are organized into a bag with a mouth surrounded by stinging tentacles. Food enters the mouth and is digested inside the bag, after which the leftovers are expelled via the same opening. In effect, the same hole serves as both a mouth and an anus. Any gas expelled by a cnidarian would be more appropriately termed a belch rather than a fart, since the animal lacks intestines and separate anus.
    Pogonophoran worms: These remarkable animals, who dwell on the sea floor near active volcanic regions associated with mid-ocean ridges, possess no mouth, no stomach, no intestines, and no anus. Apparently they retain their svelte, worm-shaped figures by giving up on eating completely! They survive by means of a mutualistic relationship with chemosynthetic bacteria that live in their flesh. Anyway, these animals cannot possibly fart.

    A second category of animals that probably don't fart are animals that live very deep underwater. At high pressures, gas remains in solution rather than forming bubbles. So there is a good chance that all those clams, echinoderms, fish and other animals living near the seafloor don't fart because their farts stay in solution and never emerge as bubbles, even though the animals possess perfectly good intestines and anuses.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Alba
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 09:59 PM

There you go again Guest....damn
" Food enters the mouth and is digested inside the bag, after which the leftovers are expelled via the same opening" Yuk...they poo through their mouths...enough already with details...lol

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 10:04 PM

Sorry about your pet, SunnySister. Jeri's suggestion is a good one.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: GUEST,Lyrical Lady
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 10:33 PM

They do and they don't! It's the ones that float upside down in the tank that don't!
Barb

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Gurney
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 10:43 PM

Bloody stupid question. Of couse they do.

Where DID you think the bubbles in spirit-levels came from?

I've stopped thinking about carbonated drinks.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 10:45 PM

Gurney, you ARE a genius, THANK you.

Subject: Lyr Add: ARE THE GOOD TIMES REALLY OVER (M Haggard
From: GUEST,For Barb.
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 10:50 PM

ARE THE GOOD TIMES REALLY OVER
Merle Haggard

I wish a buck was still silver.
It was back when the country was strong.
Back before Elvis; before the Vietnam war came along.
Before The Beatles and "Yesterday",
When a man could still work, and still would.
Is the best of the free life behind us now?
Are the good times really over for good?

Are we rolling downhill like a snowball headed for hell?
With no kind of chance for the Flag or the Liberty bell.
Wish a Ford and a Chevy,
Could still last ten years, like they should.
Is the best of the free life behind us now?
Are the good times really over for good?

I wish coke was still cola,
And a joint was a bad place to be.
And it was back before Nixon lied to us all on TV.
Before microwave ovens,
When a girl could still cook and still would.
Is the best of the free life behind us now?
Are the good times really over for good?

Are we rolling downhill like a snowball headed for hell?
With no kind of chance for the Flag or the Liberty bell.
Wish a Ford and a Chevy,
Could still last ten years, like they should.
Is the best of the free life behind us now?
Are the good times really over for good?

Stop rolling downhill like a snowball headed for hell.
Stand up for the Flag and let's all ring the Liberty bell.
Let's make a Ford and a Chevy,
Still last ten years, like they should.
The best of the free life is still yet to come,
The good times ain't over for good.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: SunnySister
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 10:51 PM

Thanks Alba and Jeri for your help and kind remarks. I know I kind of went off but it's sort of horrible to do everything you can think of and slowly see a living thing dying.

As soon as I finished posting here, I got online and did some massive web roaming and came up with this: There is a fungus among us! Actually, just on Joseph (as in he with the many colored coat... although these days it's a bunch of dingy grayish colors :(

I called the pet store and will get meds tomorrow although surprisingly, heat seems to keep fungus away since fungus thrives in cooler water... ya learn something every day... wish us luck!

As for the list of potential farters... actually all of you guys- thanks for the laughter, obviously I needed it today. :)

--SunnySister, who will "Toot" entire score of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, if my little guy gets better (I'll warn folks who live in the bay area of my whereabouts before commencing with the... um... celebratory performance)

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 10:51 PM

Excuse me for asking, I know what carbonated drinks are but what are spirit-levels?

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 10:52 PM

No, silly, goldfish don't fart. I fart and then I BLAME it on the goldfish. Ya gotta do whatcha gotta do. I'm amazed you fell for it, Bruce.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 10:58 PM

Photo of a spirit-level.

It's an instrument used by carpenters (and other trades people) to ensure that things are sitting 'perfectly' horizontal.

Or, it's the number of woowoo things in Poltergeist.

OR, it's the drinks one can have before either passing out or throwing up.

That's all I can think of.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: bobad
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 10:59 PM

Azizi: spirit level

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:08 PM

Michelle with thirsty goldfish and Susan blam--do people actually believe you? That could be a wonderful sales technique for places like Fish R Us.

This brings back the 1960s. Was the day I discovered that sguirels/squerils/squirrells/squur/ chipmunks really like peanut butter.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: bobad
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:11 PM

Or by combining with the "What do YOU wear on your head thread" we get this .

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: SunnySister
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:17 PM

Another meaning for spirit level:

The noise the fans make at a bowl game :)

By the way, I KNEW it was you, WYSIWYG, who tooted! I just couldn't point the finger at the time because everyone knows that it's usually the person who points the finger that really did it...

Also, I would advise not to "pull" the finger either...

--Wise words indeed from SunnySister who had a brother full of gas!

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:17 PM

Thanks Bobad. Actually, I thought you were talking about alcoholic beverages, so your link was surprising. But I have to say that it left me in the dark.

So I had to turn to my friend google and I think I see the light now.

Who woulda known there are bubble levels for cameras??
Obviously not me, but I'm hip to it now. Well, maybe "hip" is too strong a word, but at least I think I know that there are bubbles in cameras and those are called spirit levels and the photographers have to watch that they don't fart so they don't drink any carbonated drinks while they're working.

Do I have it right?

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: bobad
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:22 PM

Close enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:23 PM

"Or by combining with the "What do YOU wear on your head thread" we get this ."

THAT was clever.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:24 PM

Wow! How did I see Bobad's link and not Peace's link?

Something wierd is goin on here.

Well, I just made a fool of myself.

But what the heck. You live and you learn.

Thanks, Peace for trying to broaden my knowledge of spirits.

It's all good.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:33 PM

Put your sound on.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: SunnySister
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:40 PM

What in the world are you doing, Peace????

Now I've got that darn song in my head and I'm trying to relax to go to sleep. Sheesh. I don't know what to say except now I have vision of Sunday School class...

-- SunnySister, trying to think of another song to prempt Peace's...

:)

Subject: Lyr Add: DOWN BY THE BAY
From: Peace
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:48 PM

This will take your mind off it.

Down By the Bay
Written By: Unknown
Copyright Unknown

Down by the bay
Where the watermelons grow
Back to my home
I dare not go
For if I do
My mother will say
"Did you ever see a bear
Combing his hair
Down by the bay?"

Down by the bay
Where the watermelons grow
Back to my home
I dare not go
For if I do
My mother will say
"Did you ever see a bee
With a sunburned knee
Down by the bay?"

Down by the bay
Where the watermelons grow
Back to my home
I dare not go
For if I do
My mother will say
"Did you ever see a moose
Kissing a goose
Down by the bay?"

Down by the bay
Where the watermelons grow
Back to my home
I dare not go
For if I do
My mother will say
"Did you ever see a whale
With a polka dot tail
Down by the bay?"

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:49 PM

If you farted and you know it blame the fish....

SunnySister, you must be my LITTLE sunnysister, or you would know that when you point the finger and get blamed, it's obviously YOUR turn to blame the fish! I thought everybody knew THAT! :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Azizi
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:54 PM

Well, before you let go of that song, how 'bout changing the "green" to "eat ice cream"? Kids can pretend to be holding and licking an ice cream cone..

After all, "bow to the queen" may work in England or even in Canada but in the US of A, we don't want any kings or queens and we really don't want any dictators either-but that's a whole 'nuther subject...

Any way, thank you Peace for the link. I'll add that song-with that minor modification-to my musical programming for preschoolers. It has a familiar {catchy tune} and teaches color recognition and has accompanying actions. As Tony the Tigert says "It's great!!!"

But as Sunnysister said, we adults may want to get that song out of our minds..So how about this song: 'who put the bomp in the bomp shu bomp shu bomp' etc etc etc..

{I just love it when things go full circle}.

:o)

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:57 PM

(I also find it really amusing that no one, in all these years of people asking me what my Mudcat name means, NO ONE had decoded the fact that it's basically a SpeakingInTongues word that means "God's Designated Stunt-Farter." Why else do you think She made the goldfish??? Just think-- the carnival games where the prize is a new, young fish? The guys think they are God's gift to the girls standing around admiring their pitching, so they need a fish to blame, too.)

If fish REALLY farted, dontcha think there would be ads for medicine to drop into the water to stop it, with "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" as the jingle? Sheeshe, people, WAKE UP!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: SunnySister
Date: 05 Jan 06 - 11:58 PM

You're right, bro, except that right now, since my fish is sick, I can't blame it on him. Wouldn't be sporting.

Of course, what I should have done all along is blame it on Peace- isn't he the one that attempted to distract us in the first place???

And the songs he comes up with... sheesh. Surely an attempt to get our minds off the most obvious of perpetrators.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 12:03 AM

Oh, Peace was bragging about his farts, in some other thread, just a minute ago!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: SunnySister
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 12:11 AM

And I'm surprised by this???

I might be new to this site, but I'm not THAT slow!

;)

-- SunnySister who will gladly give those particular bragging rights to Peace

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: LadyJean
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 12:28 AM

I have a flatulent kitten, who would probably like to meet your goldfish. Viggo, who moved in in November, seems to think he's part of my anatomy, and occasionally has gas. I wonder if it's the kitten chow.
Now my sister had a fish called an oscar that would swim to the top of the tank and wiggle his tail when she came into the room. This is pretty standard Oscar behavior.

Subject: Lyr Add: MONKEY FARTS (Mike Barrett)
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 01:07 AM

Peace, here's a charming little ditty written by my friend Mike Barrett, which I recorded on my By Popular Demand CD. BTW, I'm amazed the Spaw hasn't joined in on the most erudite discussion.

MONKEY FARTS                   (M. Barrett, Cellardoor Music)

My father came here from his home in Ireland,
He was quiet but they said that he was wise.
He and Mother did their best, gave us a home and all the rest,
But to talk to us he never had the time.
Sure, he'd say "Pass the butter." or, "Come here young man."
Or, "Keep quiet." or, "No you can't have a dime."
Until the day when I was leavin' when Dad finally found a reason
For sharing his philosophy of life...

He said: "A monkey fart should smell like a banana,
English farts should smell like cups of tea;
The farting of a fairy should be very light and airy,
When a father farts I hope you'll think of me.
An Irish fart should always lilt with laughter,
It should melt your heart and melt your shorts as well,
A lion's fart should roar with power, cuckoos should fart every hour,
A nun's fart should have meaning but no smell;
A strong man's fart should sound out like a trumpet,
A pretty girl's should barely even squeak,
But the person you can trust is the one who'd rather bust
Than ever let one rip right on the street..."

Well, from my old man this really was an earful,
I tried to understand just what he meant;
His words were primitive but strong so I wouldn't get them wrong,
He was saying to be careful as I went.
He was saying to be happy as I could be,
He was saying watch my step and as I pass,
To beware who I look up to, and whatever else I might do,
Know that most of what you get from folks is just escaping gas...

He said: "A monkey fart etc..."

Let 'em rip!

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Kaleea
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 01:25 AM

Alba,
I followed the link, however there seems to be no information about the farting, or lack thereof, of the Humu humu nuku nuku apua'a. Now THAT is serious. I also want to know if they truly do go swimming by. And by the way, are they really the littlest fishies? Or is it all just another whopper of a fish tail--er, uh, tale invented to sell a song back in 1933?

And now for something not completely different, I was told that not all critters far . . .er, uh, ahem, expel gas. I used to know a feller who would leave out pepsie for the mousies as he said they could not fa--er, pass gas & therefore would expire due to something akin to an explosion of the innards. What, if anything, of these things are true?

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Alba
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 05:14 AM

I will admit Kaleea that the site I posted for SS didn't get down to the real nitty gritty of the Humu "humu nuku nuku apua'a"!

Pepsi making Mice implode, mmmmmm that was something I felt I had to investigate and found out nothing regarding mice advice but.............
There is a warning not to let Parrots anywhere near carbonated drinks and a few other dietary supplements!
"There are a few foods that parrots must never have. These are avocado, chocolate, carbonated drinks, caffeinated drinks, and alcohol. Parrots lack a certain enzyme required to digest chocolate, and it can be toxic for them as a result. Carbonated drinks are dangers because parrots have no mechanism for ridding themselves of the gas from the carbonation upon ingestion. Caffeine and alcohol are both dangerous to a parrot's health, as they are not well digested."

So...Parrots do NOT pass wind...does this mean they implode...oh poor polly

I will now embark on a Truth finding mission regarding the song you mentioned...I may be gone some time on that one.
Still the Mouse v's Pepsi out come (or not as the case may be) is urking me.......

Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 10:35 AM

Won't be back until tonight, but then I'll catch up to y'all.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Alba
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 10:58 AM

...we shall be waiting your return Threadstarter..:>)
Have a good Day!!
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: ranger1
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 11:23 AM

About the parrot imploding, we coastal folks have long known that birds can't fart. Think seagulls and alka-seltzer...

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 11:28 AM

I do think about that. After eating a seagull I usually have to take a few alka-seltzers and then I fart like a trooper. Feathers like ya wouldn't believe.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: ranger1
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 11:31 AM

Giggle, giggle, snort, giggle, sprayage of coffee on computer screen...

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 02:05 PM

Gertrude or Heathcliff?

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 02:17 PM

Of course, not meaning to brag, I cleared a tent once when I was a teenager at a gymnastic camp. It was raining and we decided to see who could fart

1) the loudest
2) the longest
3) the smelliest

FYI, farting in a tent when it's raining outside is considered to be antisocial behaviour by many adults. To teenagers, it is entertainment and a source of great merriment. One can establish a reputation of sorts by being able to give forth a fart of monumental proportions harkening one to memories of Krakatoa in 1883 or Mount St Helens' 97 years later--at least amongst one's friends.

Well, Norm, the best swimmer at the camp won the loudest category. We gave him 10s. The longest went to Sid--he was best at rings, and we assumed that building upper-body muscles must have helped him control the 'southern route'. He was gentleman enough to admit that he could have gotten a few more seconds out of it but he was just a tad worried that it might not all be gas--a situation that affects many politicians because they tend to mix up entry and egress points. Anyway, when it came my time to contribute to the festivities--I will not go into details because it would seem like bragging, and I am a modest sorta person, but I let one go that will be remembered in the anals (I thought that was pretty good, heehee) of farting history. Within seconds I was alone in the tent. I was pummelled by the guys when I tried to escape, but for two days it was the talk of the camp. People I barely knew were asking what I ate and was there a secret involved. Heady times for a 13-year old. I basked in that glory until another fellow found a five-foot snake and we hid it in Miss #####'s room. But that's another story for another time. But I have never heard such screaming and language in my life. Not even in an all-men's tavern.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: jacqui.c
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 02:21 PM

I've got a car that farts when it's held too much booze......

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: GUEST,The Deli Lama
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 02:34 PM

I'm eternally grateful to this thread. Now I'll be fully prepared when I go on "Jeopardy!"

The Deli Lama

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 02:38 PM

As well you should be. But if you go on Wheel of Fortune, you'll be able to buy a bowel.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Azizi
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 02:48 PM

Peace, here's a website that have farts that might rival your memorable fart: Fart Sounds Online

This site advertises that in addition to a bunch of free "downloadable" fart sounds, it has "a bunch of free videos, flash animations, song parody downloads, and other free stuff." This site also claims to have "the largest selection of fart merchandise on the planet at the Fartmart".

Being at work, I haven't checked any of this out.

But buyer and downloader beware.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 03:13 PM

Goldfish (and fish in general) do not fart. There is little in their diet that generates gas. The proof is in the goldfish's turds. Have you seen them, trailing long spaghetti-like poos behind them? Now, if they farted, those poos would be more like Morse code, and less like an EEG of GWB...

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: GUEST,The Deli Lama
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 03:57 PM

"Have you seen them, trailing long spaghetti-like poos behind them?"

Well.....no, I can't really say that I actually HAVE observed that.

The Deli Lama

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 04:44 PM

A parrot full of gas wouldn't implode. It would explode. To implode is to collapse because of outside pressure, like a two-dollar bathyscathe descending into the Marianas Trench. It's crushed by the outside pressure, or imploded.

If something contains so much of something that the enclosing walls can no longer hold it in, it explodes. Like a parrot on alka-seltzer.

I do hope that all is now clear.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Alba
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 05:15 PM

I am relieved Rapaire to hear that an explosion would occur if Polly drank pepsi..crystal clear now. Thank you so much for allowing me to alter the image I was holding in my head of a Parrot imploding. Exploding seems more Monty Pythonish, if you catch my drift!

..but what of Mice not Men?
Would they 'im' or 'ex' on Alka Seltzer or Coco Cola or even Pepsi for that matter.
Can you help in this area?
In anticipation
Jude:>)

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Janie
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 05:24 PM

All of you are really starting to worry me...I wouldn't say it if I didn't love each and every one of you, but you need help. You really, REALLY need help.

This might be a good time to try a slice of be-bop-a-ree-bop rhubarb pie.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 05:26 PM

"Marianas Trench"

Trench? I thought it was a sauce.

Subject: Lyr Add: WHO PUT THE BOMP (+ parody)
From: Azizi
Date: 06 Jan 06 - 05:44 PM

Janie, you're so right to be worried. Be very worried-especially if you find yourself singin this song this way:

Who made the fart
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who made the fart
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who made the fart
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who was that man
He'd better wash his hand
He made my baby run away from me.

Of course we all know the real words to this immortal song. So come on everybody-sing along with Peace {Since he's the threadstarter, he has the honor of leading this song}.

WHO PUT THE BOMP
Lyrics by: Barry Mann & Gerry Goffin

I'd like to thank the guy
Who wrote the song
That made my baby
Fall in love with me

Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip?
Who was that man?
I'd like to shake his hand
He made my baby
Fall in love with me

When my baby heard
Bomp bah bah bomp
Bah bomp bah bomp bah bomp bomp
Every word went right into her heart
And when she heard them singin
Rama lama lama lama
Rama ding dong
She said we'd never have to part
So.........

Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip?
Who was that man?
I'd like to shake his hand
He made my baby
Fall in love with me

Each time that were alone
Boogity boogity boogity
Boogity boogity boogity shoo
Sets my baby's heart all aglow
And everytime we dance to
Dip da dip da dip
Dip da dip da dip
She always says she loves me so
So........

Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip?
Who was that man?
I'd like to shake his hand
He made my baby
Fall in love with me

MIXTURE: [Peace]instead of Barry SPEAKS:
Darlin, bomp bah bah bomp, bah bomp bah bomp bomp
And my honey, rama lama ding dong forever
And when I say, dip da dip da dip da dip
You know I mean it from the bottom of my boogity boogity boogity shoo

-snip-

And if you are a glutton for punishment here's a link to a Who Put The Bomp lyrics & midi file

Enjoy!

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: ranger1
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 11:31 AM

Oh, thanks, Azizi! NOW you've done it!

As to the farting question, I can tell you with absolute certainty that dogs do fart and I now need to vacate the computer room!

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: GUEST,Ichtyology Rules OK
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 02:13 PM

Well goldfish are a member of the carp family, and as such are entitled to be Mudcatters, where carping has been raised to an (f)art form by some.
Then there is the Golden Orfe which is a large gold fish, and may have got that name because it farted a lot, and people kept telling it to Fuck Orfe.
Then there is the Shebunkin Goldfish which is such a silly name that it might be best if I didn't go there.
At least Goldfish only have one bottom to fart out of, so be grateful folks

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Janie
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 10:30 PM

Sorry for the thread drift, but when I raised this important question in staff meeting yesterday afternoon, it lead to other important questions....the main one being "As rotten as dog farts are, why are they always silent?"

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 10:35 PM

They are not always silent. Just usually. Probably because dogs are more relaxed or something. If you get a very small whistle, grease it, and insert it in your dog's anus, he will whistle a warning every time, and you can run to the next room. If you do this to yourself, you can puzzle people in crowded elevators. Just act like it isn't you. Look around in a puzzled fashion when you hear the whistle toot.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 10:36 PM

I would opine it's because they tend to keep their anal sphincter damp thus providing a certain elasticity. So: When the mass of gas makes haste to pass with ultimate insistence, its very quiet passage meets with almost no resistence.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Hrothgar
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 10:37 PM

It is a well known scientific fact that the farting of goldfish is a major contributor to the greenhouse effect.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 10:42 PM

I had a German Shepherd who once while sitting with her arse flat on a hardwood floor (and I'm guessing having her anal sphincter 'sealed' as it were, made a sound that shook the floor (OK, it likely wasn't measured on the Richter scale, but it sounded like it SHOULD have been). She stood, gave me a dirty look and left the room. I left shortly thereafter.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Janie
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 10:48 PM

OhOhOh!!!! Stomach hurts from laughing....

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: LadyJean
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 11:22 PM

I have a friend who is learning ventriloquism so she can make her parrot say rude words without teaching them to the bird. Apparently an episode of NYPD Blue featured a parrot who said douche bag, an one of her neighbors has been harassing her about it. So, she's going to have the parrot say douche bag to him. The parrot says "Hi there" on his own. But nothing else. Though he likes it when I sing "Dancing Beak to Beak" to him.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: jacqui.c
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 11:26 PM

LH - if I thought that Seamus would stand for it I'd try that trick. Trust me, knowing when he's letting one off would be invaluable.

Subject: RE: BS: Important question . . . .
From: Peace
Date: 07 Jan 06 - 11:42 PM

RIGHT.
Jaysus, LH. Have him play a tune while yer at it!