happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')

Subject: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Abby Sale
Date: 26 Jan 06 - 08:56 AM


42nd US President Bill Clinton declares to reporters:

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." –

1/26/1998

          One morning my fair lady found me,
          In the arms of our young chamber maid,
          And when she demanded an answer,
          Oh, these are the words that I said:
                  I never had sex with that woman,
                  Though the contrary comes to your mind,
                  I never had sex with that woman,
                  Depending on how it's defined!
  
                           Words © 1998, Stephen L. Suffet with Ada Prill

Copyright © 2005, Abby Sale - all rights reserved
What are Happy's all about? See Clicky

Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: GUEST,Geoff the Duck
Date: 26 Jan 06 - 05:21 PM

Didn't he change his statement to "I had sex, but I didn't inhale...."
Or was that Monica?

Quack!!
GtD.

Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Peace
Date: 26 Jan 06 - 07:19 PM

Monica just got the cigars mixed up in her head.

Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie
Date: 27 Jan 06 - 12:17 AM

I thought he said "...sexal...", omitting the "u".

Then again my ears ain't what they used to be.

Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: saulgoldie
Date: 27 Jan 06 - 12:21 PM

Yup, there're the lies about sumpin that is none of your danged business in the first place. And then there're the lies that cause thousands of deaths of innocent people. Me, I obviously couldn't care less about Clinton's piccadilos. That is an issue for him Hillary, and his G-d if has has one. I care somewhat more about the Bush lies and intrusions in MY private life that are none of HIS business. From where I sit, it seems pretty clear that whatever G-d Bush has must be quite confused, at the very least.

Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: GUEST,Bert C
Date: 27 Jan 06 - 11:22 PM

True enough about different kinds of lies, but consider this: How different might things be today if Slick Willie had kept his zipper up? For one thing, without having to be concerned about appearing to live out "Wag The Dog" in real life, he might have had the guts to go in after Osama when he had the chance. More importantly, had just a few morally-minded Floridians not been turned against the Democratic party and towards "family values", well just imagine how different Washington, New York and Baghdad might look today. Brings tears to my eyes. For further inspiration, check this out: Backwards Bush

Bert C

Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Ron Davies
Date: 28 Jan 06 - 06:59 PM

The gravity of the incident, it's true, doesn't compare to that of various misdeeds of the maladmistration which now "governs" us.

But that's a great little poem. (song?)

Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 06 - 10:40 AM

Monica must be a hero to hookers. $3M per... don't need a lot of jobs when you're making that kinda money!

Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Abby Sale
Date: 29 Jan 06 - 10:53 AM

Sorry, Ron Davies. I'll post the whole. Please note the copyright restriction.
======================================================
I Never Had Sex With That Woman
Words: Stephen Suffet (last verse Ada Prill)
Tune: "Rosin the Beau" ("Acres of Clams")

One morning my fair lady found me,
In the arms of our young chamber maid,
And when she demanded an answer,
Oh, these are the words that I said:

        I never had sex with that woman,
        Though the contrary comes to your mind,
        I never had sex with that woman,
        Depending on how it's defined!

I did not a thing to arouse her,
I gave her no pleasure, you see,
I averted my eyes and dropped trouser,
And allowed her to have sex with me.

        So I never had sex with that woman,
        Though the contrary comes to your mind,
        I never had sex with that woman,
        Depending on how it's defined!

'Twas then that my lady surprised me,
"I'm a sister of Sappho," she said,
"For that young chamber maid has enticed me,
Many hours have I spent in her bed."

        But I never had sex with that woman,
        Though the contrary comes to your mind,
        I never had sex with that woman,
        Depending on how it's defined!

So all you young fellows take warning,
And attention to me should be paid,
Or you'll find your fair lady one morning,
In the arms of that young chamber maid.

        And you'll never have sex with that woman,
        Though the contrary comes to your mind,
        Oh, you'll never have sex with that woman,
        No matter which way it's defined!


Words by Stephen L. Suffet and Ada Prill © 1998.---         "Permission is hereby granted for free use in any live performance provided proper credit is given. All rights are reserved, and anyone wishing to record or publish the song must obtain permission of the authors."

=========================================================

I sing this regularly in the local clubs about this time of year but (following Mr Suffet's permission) only while I'm alive. It's actually one of my more requested songs.

Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Ron Davies
Date: 29 Jan 06 - 10:22 PM

It's great!---how could you withhold that from us?

Subject: RE: happy? – Jan 26 ('I did not have sex')
From: Bernard
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 08:12 AM

It's worth noting that 'Monica Lewinsky' is an anagram of 'a lick wins money'!!