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Happy! – Feb 9 (Lydia Pinkham)

Abby Sale 09 Feb 06 - 08:10 AM
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Subject: Happy! – Feb 9 (Lydia Pinkham)
From: Abby Sale
Date: 09 Feb 06 - 08:10 AM

Happy Birthday!

Patent-medicine seller

Lydia Pinkham was born 2/9/1819 (d.5/17/1883).

Her Vegetable Compound (18% alcohol) could cure any "female complaint"
from nervous prostration to a prolapsed uterus.

Better stll, it inspired several songs and thousands of verses.

        Lottie Smyth ne'er had a lover,
         Blotchy pimples caused her plight;
        But she took nine bottles of Pinkham's—
           Sweet-hearts swarm about her each night.

                "The Ballad of Lydia Pinkham," in Frank Shay,
                in My Pious Friends and Drunken Companions, 1927

        Mrs. Jones had rotten kidneys
         And she smply could not pee
        So she took, she swallowed, she gargled some vegetable compound
         And now they pipe her to the sea!
        Cho:   Then we'll sing, we'll sing, we'll sing of Lydia Pinkham
                 And her love, her love, her love for the human race (human race).
                How she makes, she bottles, she sells her vegetable compound,
                 Now all papers they publish her face,
        Oh little Johnny, the little bastard
         Through masturbation had lost his vim
        So he took, he swallowed, he gargled some vegetable compound
         And now the rabbits envy him
        Geraldine, she had no breastworks
         And she could not fill her blouse
        So she took, she swallowed, she gargled some vegetable compound
         And now they milk her with the cows
                "Lydia Pinkham" on The Earthy Side, sung by members of
                the Norman Luboff Choir, thanx John Mehlberg of

Copyright © 2005, Abby Sale - all rights reserved
What are Happy's all about? See Clicky

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Mudcat time: 23 October 9:43 AM EDT

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