Add: Shonda Susie Goldstein/My Zaydie was a goniff

Subject: Lyr Add: SHONDA SUSIE GOLDSTEIN (Stephen L. Suffet
From: Suffet
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 09:32 PM

Brought to you by the same person who wrote The Old Klezmer Flute and My Zaydie Was a Goniff...

SHONDA SUSIE GOLDSTEIN
Music: Traditional (Bonnie Susie Cleland)
New words: Stephen L. Suffet ©1999, 2006

Oy, did you hear the awful news?
Oy is me, vey is me!
Oy, did you hear the awful news?
Why does our daughter hate us?
Oy, did you hear the awful news?
Our Susie did a sheygets choose.
Shonda Susie Goldstein!
She's to be married to a goy!

Unless you marry a Yid instead,
Oy is me, vey is me!
Unless you marry a Yid instead,
Why does our daughter hate us?
Unless you marry a Yid instead,
We'll consider our daughter dead.
Shonda Susie Goldstein!
She's to be married to a goy.

He's handsome, kind, and wealthy, too,
Oy is me, vey is me!
He's handsome, kind, and wealthy, too,
Why does our daughter hate us?
He's handsome, kind, and wealthy, too,
So what if he is not a Jew?
Shonda Susie Goldstein!
She's to be married to a goy.

How can you say a thing like that?
Oy is me, vey is me!
How can you say a thing like that?
Why does our daughter hate us?
How can you say a thing like that?
You'll give your father a heart attack.
Shonda Susie Goldstein!
She's to be married to a goy!

Then I shall do just what you like,
Oy is me, vey is me!
Then I shall do just what you like,
Why does our daughter hate us?
Then I shall do just what you like,
I'll marry a Jew, but she'll be a dyke.
Shonda Susie Goldstein!
She's to be married to a goy!

Right through our hearts she drove a stake,
Oy is me, vey is me!
Right through our hearts she drove a stake,
Why does our daughter hate us?
Right through our hearts she drove a stake,
And now her shiva we shall make.
Shonda Susie Goldstein!
She's to be married to a goy!


Translations from the Yiddish:
oy! vey! = oh! woe!
shonda = shame, disgrace
sheygets = young (and usually attractive) Gentile man
goy = Gentile, non-Jew
Yid = Jew
shiva = seven-day period of ritual mourning

Note: The "ey" sound is like the Canadian "eh?" sound, just a tiny bit shorter than the "ay" sound in English.

Enjoy!

--- Steve

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Shonda Susie Goldstein!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 12:46 AM

Oy, just what I need to warm me up on a wet, chilly day. I found Old Klezmer Flute, but not "Zaydie." Can you grace us with that one, too, Steve?
-Joe-

Subject: Lyr Add: MY ZAYDIE WAS A GONIFF (Stephen L. Suffet
From: Suffet
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 10:24 AM

Sure. Why not?

MY ZAYDIE WAS A GONIFF
Music: My Grandpa Was a Carpenter by John Prine
New words: Stephen L. Suffet ©2000, 2006

My Zaydie was late for dinner, nearly every day,
With a bookkeeper named Zelda, he loved to sport and play;
He bought her silks and perfumes, and little golden rings,
And in return she'd do for him, all sorts of unkosher things.

Chorus:
My Zaydie was a goniff, he loved to wheel and deal,
He squeezed the competition, until he heard them squeal;
He was shadier than shady, he really was a louse,
But he left my Bubbie a big mink coat, and a million dollar house.

One day the union delegates, came to talk to him,
They said, "The way you treat your workers, it is a God damn sin!"
So he reached deep in his pockets, and greased their greedy palms,
And from that day his labor pains, were forever gone.

Repeat chorus.

Zaydie had a crooked partner, who moved out to L.A.,
And left him with a load of debts, that he could not pay;
So he dialed up Joe the Torch, and offered him some cash,
Next morning Zaydie's factory, was just a pile of ash.

Repeat chorus.

My Bubbie was a housewife, who thought she was a queen,
Twice a week the maid would come, to scrub and dust and clean;
Bubbie she was tolerant, of Zaydie's love affairs,
If the old goat kept away from her, Bubbie thought "Who cares?"

Repeat chorus.

Translations from the Yiddish:
Zaydie = Grandpa
Bubbie = Grandma
goniff = thief

Another Allan Sherman I may not be, but enjoy the song just the same.

--- Steve