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BS: God Hates Shrimp
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Subject: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: John MacKenzie Date: 05 Mar 06 - 05:59 AM I stumbled on this site in my travels round the internet, and had to share it with you good folks. It is possibly one of the silliest sites I've ever found. Enjoy Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Purple Foxx Date: 05 Mar 06 - 06:09 AM I loved this site Giok,a bitingly accurate satire on a perfectly legitimate target. People who over react to their own misinterpretations of translatons of the social mores of a specific middle eastern culture as they were in the Bronze Age might do well to visit. Who knows,others may be Prawn again. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: greg stephens Date: 05 Mar 06 - 06:56 AM I also drew attention, in a recent thread on Tony Blair and God, to the fact that we are not allowed to eat chameleons or ferrets. Or at least, that is what God told Moses, and who are we to disagree with God? It's such a pity, because I could just murder a chameleon sandwich right this minute. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: greg stephens Date: 05 Mar 06 - 06:59 AM To look on the bright side, though, it is fine to eat pygargs (Deutoronomy 14.5). Trouble is, I went down to Sainsbury's to get a couple, but they don't seem to have any in. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 05 Mar 06 - 07:38 AM So what will Garg have to say about that? |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: gnu Date: 05 Mar 06 - 08:10 AM What in Heavens name is a pygarg? |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Rapparee Date: 05 Mar 06 - 08:10 AM I think it's a misspelling. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 05 Mar 06 - 08:16 AM What Garg drops after eating a pie? |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Windsinger Date: 05 Mar 06 - 08:23 AM That's a HYSTERICAL site, John. :D Gnu: it's some antelope-like animal that's mentioned as being on the Biblical "kosher" list. No idea if the name corresponds to an exact species we'd be more familiar with. Slán, ~Fionn www.geocities.com/children_of_lir |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Rapparee Date: 05 Mar 06 - 08:33 AM Oh, one of those!! I think Walmart sells it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: kendall Date: 05 Mar 06 - 08:45 AM When religion and reason collide, the result is enlightenment. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: JohnInKansas Date: 05 Mar 06 - 08:46 AM The site neglects to mention the passage immediately preceding the one it cites: Leviticus: 11,7 And the swine, because he parteth the hoof, and is cloven-footed, but cheweth not the cud, he is unclean unto you. 11,8 Of their flesh ye shall not eat, and their carcasses ye shall not touch; they are unclean unto you. (Hebrew Bible 1917) ALL THOSE WHO PLAY FOOTBALL (without gloves) WILL GO TO HELL. GOD HATES FOOTBALLERS!!!! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: MaineDog Date: 05 Mar 06 - 09:19 AM Giok, this site is clearly a mockery of the horrendous "God Hates Fags" site (which I deplore). I'm glad to see that someone has taken them on. MD |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: GUEST,Pootle Date: 05 Mar 06 - 09:42 AM "To look on the bright side, though, it is fine to eat pygargs (Deutoronomy 14.5). Trouble is, I went down to Sainsbury's to get a couple, but they don't seem to have any in." Have you tried Fortnum and Mason's or the Harrods food hall? They're bound to have some in. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: GUEST,'20 a day' Date: 05 Mar 06 - 09:47 AM God hates fags? - Sure I'll never get to heaven now! |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: number 6 Date: 05 Mar 06 - 09:58 AM "When religion and reason collide, the result is enlightenment." brilliant Kendall !! sIx |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: katlaughing Date: 05 Mar 06 - 10:54 AM LMAO< Giok. Thanks for the link!! Be sure to check out the ABOUT page, folks. BRILL!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Windsinger Date: 05 Mar 06 - 11:11 AM MaineDog, A second (and very funny) parody of the Westover Baptist whackos' sites, is here: Landover Baptist Church It's what Phelps' page would look like after the guys from The Onion got done with it. Slán, ~Fionn www.geocities.com/children_of_lir |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Purple Foxx Date: 05 Mar 06 - 11:15 AM Also brilliant Fionn (though it could take some time to read in its entirety) |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: dick greenhaus Date: 05 Mar 06 - 11:58 AM When religion and reason collide, the result is bloody conflict. Sad to say. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Bill D Date: 05 Mar 06 - 12:03 PM What IS clear is that God doesn't hate stupidity. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Bill D Date: 05 Mar 06 - 12:09 PM (and can I have God's share of the shrimp?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Rapparee Date: 05 Mar 06 - 12:46 PM ...if I can have a share of lobster. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: John MacKenzie Date: 05 Mar 06 - 01:10 PM Rapaire with your talent I thought the world was your lobster! G ☺ |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: JohnInKansas Date: 05 Mar 06 - 01:11 PM Windsinger Are you sure that Landover Baptist Church is a parody? The first dozen links I followed were exactly what I hear, if I neglect to shut the TV off, every Sunday morning and at various times most days of the week. The article on "Do it yourself circumcision" is inaccurate though. That's not quite the recommended procedure here, although I'd allow for regional variations. They may do it differently in Iowa. The article on how women should behave gets repeated so often I'd been looking for a proper citation. I'll be sure to quote Dr. Nieman next time it comes up. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Bill D Date: 05 Mar 06 - 01:38 PM Landover Baptist is so good that there are websites dedicated to condemning it and distributing petitions to have "this blasphemy" removed! a true measure of sucess! |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: GUEST Date: 05 Mar 06 - 02:26 PM It looks like Muslims and Christians do have the same God. They are both forbidden to eat the 'cockroaches' of the sea. :>) |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Bill D Date: 05 Mar 06 - 02:32 PM *sitting here, imagining the first person to ever consider eating a shrimp...and wondering how they made out* Perhaps that's where some of the admonitions arose! |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: JohnInKansas Date: 05 Mar 06 - 04:36 PM Just for the sake of completeness, someone may have not heard of the Church of the FSM. It's a long page, so be sure to scroll down past the opening letter. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: kendall Date: 05 Mar 06 - 05:03 PM Dick, it's true that conflict is part of the process, but there is no gain without pain. In the old days, it was a bad idea to eat oysters or clams in the summer because of paralitic shellfish poisoning. Apparently it was easier to just say "NO" than to try to explain red tide to the masses. How do we know that Revelation wasn't written under the influence of some sort of natural poison from eating nasty diatoms? If God created all things, why would he/she/it hate any of them? Does it make any sense that God would give us intelligence, then condemn us for using it? Thanks number 6. God told me to say that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: greg stephens Date: 05 Mar 06 - 05:13 PM Actually, I was only having a laugh about pygargs. Obviously these dietary laws are based on some well thought attempts at food hygeine. And I've got a brace in the oven right now. But now, seriously, how about executing someone for picking up sticks for a cooking fire on saturday? That's the smack of firm goverment all right, isn't it. Mericful, but just, I would say. (I have been doing the reaearch on a Mystery Play production of which I am the musical director....pretty mind-boggling this stuff. That God, he's a one, eh!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Don Firth Date: 05 Mar 06 - 06:32 PM Theory: pork, ham, and other products of the pig were probably put off limits because people often got sick when they ate them. Back in those days, they didn't know about parasites and trichinosis, which can be avoided simply by making sure the meat is well cooked. If people consistently got sick after eating a particular thing, to these folks it meant that it must be something God didn't want you to eat. God took a lot of the rap for sheer ignorance and pure happenstance back in those days, and there are primitives living today who are still into that bag. With no refrigeration back in Biblical times, in warm climates such as the Eastern Mediterranean, Red Sea, Persian Gulf, etc., shellfish spoiled very quickly, and spoiled shellfish can make you urp up your sandals and possibly even kill you. Thus, God's wrath. I love seafood, both the free-swimming kind and all kinds of shellfish. If God doesn't like shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, etc., I'll have His/Her share, thank you. . . . Don Firth (I love my wife, but oh, you squid!!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 05 Mar 06 - 06:52 PM While there's probably some truth in the idea that illness was a factor in the ban on eating pork, it probably had more to do with swine being ill-adapted to the nomadic desert herder lifestyle. Pigs die esaily if they get too hot. For pigs to thrive they need shade and a ready supply of water, two things that are rare in the desert. Cattle, goats and sheep are much better suited to nomadic life. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Don Firth Date: 05 Mar 06 - 07:17 PM Could very well be. My comments are just a theory. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Peace Date: 05 Mar 06 - 07:20 PM "In the old days, it was a bad idea to eat oysters or clams in the summer because of paralitic shellfish poisoning" Wasn't there some old saw about "Don't eat shellfish in any month that didn't contain an 'R'"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 05 Mar 06 - 07:40 PM Supposedly the Mosaic food laws are related to a certain Egyptian Priestly cult, kept on after they allegedly left Egypt. There seems to be some discussion whether the Israelites were actually in Egypt at all, but I'll leave that one for another |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: bobad Date: 05 Mar 06 - 07:51 PM The "R" Myth Folklore says that oysters should be eaten only in months with "r's" in them -- September, October, etc. At Maestro S.V.P. we have been trying to educate people that oysters can be eaten 12 months a year. The notion that oysters should not be eaten in "r"-less months -- that is, months that occur during warm weather -- may have started in the days when oysters where shipped without adequate refrigeration and could spoil. But today all that has changed and we can enjoy oysters twelve months a year. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Peace Date: 05 Mar 06 - 07:54 PM Thanks, bobad. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 05 Mar 06 - 08:13 PM We should not forget all this old folklore. When 'they' drop the bombs and we are back to sticks and stones, much of this old folklore will be useful again. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: MaineDog Date: 05 Mar 06 - 08:17 PM I checked out the Landover Baptist Church, and yes, it is very funny in places. Unfortunately it is very close to Christian doctrine in many areas, sometimes even closer than Phelp's site. The real problem with both of them is that they are what we call stumbling blocks. They give people subtile (or not so subtile ) wrong ideas of what Christianity is supposed to be about, and makes it harder for them to appreciate the real thing when they do find it. MD |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 05 Mar 06 - 08:40 PM FYI: A Writer's Block |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Once Famous Date: 05 Mar 06 - 09:06 PM Why do you get off on mocking people, giok? You are supposed to be one of the tolerant. So people have beliefs based on age old customs. So all it appears is that you get your ego off on mocking things and people you differ with. Your tolerance is really quite tainted. Kashruth dietary laws for some do not include shellfish and pork. If people believe it is to their benefit, why do you feel it is necessary to mock them? The liberal radical way is to mock. It's a phony brand of tolerance. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: John MacKenzie Date: 06 Mar 06 - 04:56 AM Sorry MG but I didn't write the site, and it is a lampoon and as such shouldn't be taken seriously. I think that one would have to try very hard to be seriously offended by what is dig at people who give some beliefs a bad name. I'm thinking cartoons here! Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Once Famous Date: 06 Mar 06 - 07:55 AM OK, I like cartoons. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Windsinger Date: 06 Mar 06 - 08:26 AM M.G., I don't think Jewish dietary law is what's ultimately being mocked here. The Westboro Baptist hate-group (of "godhatesfags.com" infamy) most definitely is. The "shrimp" site is just pointing out that Phelps and his followers are cherry-picking which parts of the Old Testament deserve virulent & literal interpretation. (I mean, if you're going to found a church on the tenet that homosexuality is the root of all evil, why stop there? God condemns lots of things in the Bible. Knock yourselves out, etc.) Slán, ~Fionn www.geocities.com/children_of_lir |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: GUEST,dianavan Date: 06 Mar 06 - 10:26 PM bobad - Oysters spawn when the waters warm up. This is not during the 'R' months. Although it won't hurt you to eat them during warmer weather, its sort of like shooting a doe out of season. When spawning, the oysters become soft and a bit watery. Sure, you can still eat them but who would want to? I prefer my oysters small and firm. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: JohnInKansas Date: 06 Mar 06 - 11:07 PM Windsinger - Lest you think that the WBC is completely single-mindless, they do have a second website at godhatesamerica.com. Same stuff, but if you omit the totally unnecessary step of looking at both sites someone might think you'd made a glib and prejudiced assumption... But I wouldn't. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: kendall Date: 07 Mar 06 - 07:40 AM Red Tide happens in the summer, June, July and August. The months with no "R". Liviticus served a good purpose in ancient tmes, but we now have the science to know why we shouldn't eat oysters in high summer. Besides, that old myth about oysters being an aphrodisac is not true. I ate two dozen one time and only 13 of them worked. |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: Windsinger Date: 07 Mar 06 - 08:42 AM John, Believe me, I'm familiar with their multiple sites. In fact, Phelps has been trying to buy up just about everything that begins "godhates_________.com". He might have even launched "godhatesneworleans.com" to gloat after Katrina, had a shrewd New Orleans native not preempted him by registering the domain first (and promptly configuring it to redirect people back to the Red Cross site. Smart.) As for being "single-mindless" :) ...well, even the "godhatesamerica" site goes back to the same tired obsession. I.e., that "God hates America" BECAUSE the country's increasing tolerance towards gays. Which is the twisted logic that's been leading them to picket funerals of soldiers from the Iraq conflict, the Sago mine disaster -- things that have NOTHING to do with support of gay rights. It makes you wonder; anyone harboring that much of an obsession, must be repressing some pretty sordid memories... Slán, ~Fionn www.geocities.com/children_of_lir |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: GUEST,donuel Date: 07 Mar 06 - 10:47 AM oscar award winner Its hard out here on a shrimp |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: JohnInKansas Date: 07 Mar 06 - 11:46 AM The truly obscene thing about the Phelps picketing is that he claims that homosexuality is such a sin that there is no redemption, and that homosexuals are condemned to hell and can't do anything about it. Thus he is NOT preaching to anyone. He and his "congregation" are not attempting to convert anyone. He's just GLOATING that God (Fred) has condemned the whole world and everybody except Fred and his little congregation is doomed to be in hell. ... Soon. It's not even certain that any of his "congregation," with the exception of the members of his own family that he has not excommunicated, will be permitted in his heaven. The biography written in 1994 by a newspaper intern is about the only thing available that really attempts to delve into the "internals" of the Phelps family. It gives a picture of Phelps that actually is consistent with what he and his cult are doing. It was released as a "court record" when the newspaper that hired the author declined to publish and tried to prevent the author from doing it himself. The title, Addicted to Hate is a pretty good snap-summary of Phelps. It's posted at a dozen or more sites on the web, so it's easy to find. While Phelps and his crew are about as pleasant as vomit in the salad bowl, they're actually not, so far as I can see, currently dangerous (if you avoid the salad, and can ignore the smell). The truly worrisome ones are the "born-agains" who are attempting to create a "religious state" in the US that exactly parallels Natzi Germany, and who appear to have the political power to have a fair chance of succeeding. The Landover Baptist Church site is not really a parody. It is a MIRROR of what I see on a daily basis in my area. I showed the site to my wife, and after flipping through the articles for twenty minutes she could not say that it was not a real church, because it could, at least for the half dozen "preachments" she read, be published and believed by churches we see practicing this drivel anywhere in the US. (I started her off with the "women have no souls" piece, and it is believable that churches here are preaching this.) Senator Brownback is very popular here, and people are proposing him as the next Republican candidate for President. I don't think he'll get the nomination, but if he should happen to the "American Taliban" (or the new Reich) will be in literally in place in the US (in my own poor opinion). The "Rolling Stones" article, God's Senator, published recently is accurate, based on my own direct and local observation of his recent activities. He is not the only one similarly inclined, and he does not "work alone." But that's just my opinion. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: GUEST,CrazyEddie Date: 08 Mar 06 - 08:57 AM "It's such a pity, because I could just murder a chameleon sandwich right this minute. " But how would you knew, Greg Stevens? It would look like two slices of bread, with a slice of bread between them. 'Cos that's what chameleons DO! |
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Subject: RE: BS: God Hates Shrimp From: GUEST,robomatic Date: 08 Mar 06 - 11:38 AM "Menu Boy must not be coward like shrimp... Menu Boy must be brave like PRAWN!" The Simpsons |
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Subject: I Hate Shrimp From: GUEST,G-d Date: 08 Mar 06 - 01:29 PM It's true. I hate shrimp. Mom made me eat it every Friday in Lent when I was a kid. Now that I'm the Big Guy, nobody's gonna push me around and make me anything, not even Mother. ...but I really pig out on abalone when nobody's looking. love, G-d P.S. I don't really have an opinion on homosexuals. What they do in their bedrooms, is their business. Why should anybody else care? |
