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BS: Menopause

GUEST,Curious 18 Mar 06 - 06:26 PM
GUEST,Curious 18 Mar 06 - 06:29 PM
Peace 18 Mar 06 - 06:32 PM
Bill D 18 Mar 06 - 06:33 PM
*daylia* 18 Mar 06 - 06:34 PM
GUEST,Curious 18 Mar 06 - 06:41 PM
Peace 18 Mar 06 - 06:46 PM
Peace 18 Mar 06 - 06:47 PM
Azizi 18 Mar 06 - 07:52 PM
Janie 18 Mar 06 - 08:04 PM
CarolC 18 Mar 06 - 08:23 PM
GUEST 18 Mar 06 - 08:53 PM
Sorcha 18 Mar 06 - 10:01 PM
wysiwyg 18 Mar 06 - 10:52 PM
GUEST 18 Mar 06 - 11:08 PM
GUEST,Curious 18 Mar 06 - 11:56 PM
GUEST 19 Mar 06 - 12:00 AM
GUEST 19 Mar 06 - 12:03 AM
katlaughing 19 Mar 06 - 12:08 AM
GUEST 19 Mar 06 - 12:10 AM
number 6 19 Mar 06 - 12:16 AM
freda underhill 19 Mar 06 - 01:13 AM
jacqui.c 19 Mar 06 - 06:50 AM
GUEST,Curious 19 Mar 06 - 02:28 PM
Kaleea 19 Mar 06 - 02:43 PM
GUEST,Curious 19 Mar 06 - 02:52 PM
Peace 19 Mar 06 - 02:55 PM
Once Famous 19 Mar 06 - 02:59 PM
Peace 19 Mar 06 - 02:59 PM
mg 19 Mar 06 - 03:16 PM
katlaughing 19 Mar 06 - 05:51 PM
CarolC 19 Mar 06 - 07:08 PM
Sorcha 19 Mar 06 - 07:19 PM
CarolC 19 Mar 06 - 08:08 PM
open mike 19 Mar 06 - 08:43 PM
GUEST,2shy 20 Mar 06 - 01:37 AM
GUEST,Battered and bruised 20 Mar 06 - 04:11 AM
GUEST,Keeping Discreet 20 Mar 06 - 04:53 AM
jacqui.c 20 Mar 06 - 07:28 AM
CarolC 20 Mar 06 - 12:10 PM
katlaughing 20 Mar 06 - 12:30 PM
open mike 20 Mar 06 - 01:37 PM
GUEST,Battered and bruised 20 Mar 06 - 02:40 PM
Peace 20 Mar 06 - 02:45 PM
GUEST,K.C. 21 Mar 06 - 11:51 AM
Bat Goddess 21 Mar 06 - 07:03 PM
CarolC 22 Mar 06 - 12:02 PM
Bat Goddess 22 Mar 06 - 01:45 PM
GUEST,Martin gibson 22 Mar 06 - 02:11 PM
JohnInKansas 22 Mar 06 - 02:24 PM
GUEST 22 Mar 06 - 11:54 PM
Sooz 24 Mar 06 - 11:50 AM
katlaughing 24 Mar 06 - 01:26 PM
Sooz 24 Mar 06 - 02:18 PM
Alice 25 Mar 06 - 10:39 AM
Alice 25 Mar 06 - 10:51 AM
Once Famous 25 Mar 06 - 10:57 AM

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Subject: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,Curious
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:26 PM

Can anyone give me an idea of how long menopause lasts and just how crazy a woman gets while she's going through "the change"? And what type of emotional support my wife will need ? Serious replys only please.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,Curious
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:29 PM

"Crazy" was my wife's term for it - not mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Peace
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:32 PM

Google:

menopause, about


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:33 PM

short answer:
It varies widely...women are just not all programmed the same. You just need to be thoughtful and see how it goes. Sorry it can't be more precise.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: *daylia*
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:34 PM

WHy ask that question here???

Your wife must need a lot more than just 'emotional support'.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,Curious
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:41 PM

If that's typical of the responses we'll see here perhaps one of the clones can deleate the entire thread now ? I can see it was a mistake to start it.

Thanks


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Peace
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:46 PM

Hey, pal, do the google thing. Lots there that will be of help. Some medical, some anecdotal, some obversations. Good luck however this thread works out for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Peace
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:47 PM

PS The experience a lady in my past had will likely not be at all like your wife's. The retelling of it just ain't gonna help you and your situation. Bye.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Azizi
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 07:52 PM

Been there. Done that. I agree that each person's experience is different.

I also agree that it may be helpful to read about this subject with an eye to reaching a heightened understanding of those symptoms your wife might experience. Note that the key word is "might".

That said, it seems to me that expectations sometimes cause things to happen {or at least we might view things that happen through the lens of our expectations}. So if you expect that your wife will
"go crazy" during the long time [years not months] that she is going through menopause then you may look for evidence of this in the way she "lives and moves and has her being". And these attitudes and behaviors may be caused by other physical, mental, and/or emotional variables or mayjust the normal way that she might cope with what life dishes out to her.

Life is crazy. Therefore, to paraphrase two folk saying, let the day's crainess be sufficient for the day and dont look for trouble or trouble will look for you. In other words, don't expect your wife to be any more wacked during menopause than she is already. And if she is wacked ["crazy"}, this might be her normal way of responding to what life has dished out to her.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Janie
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 08:04 PM

I sailed through menopause with virtually no hot flashes or mood swings that were attributed to it. Don't think I can help much. I second (or third) those who suggest you read up on it. As already noted, it is an extremely variable experience.

Azizi's post is very astute.

Janie


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 08:23 PM

There's also peri-menopause, which can last as long as a decade before actual menopause kicks in. Then menopause can last for several years. Depending.

Several years ago, during the peri-menopausal stage, I was feeling like I was going to go nuts. I started using natural, pharmaceutical grade progesterone cream (topically applied), and it pretty much saved my sanity.

That's not to say there won't be some symptoms even if hormone supplementation is used. But it can make a big difference. There are also natural estrogen creams for topical use that can help a lot if the problem is not enough estrogen.

A lot of women can handle not enough estrogen, but having estrogen dominence can be a real bitch. Estrogen dominence happens when the body produces less progesterone (as well as estrogen), but the woman ingests estrogen in her diet. A lot of foods contain estrogenic compounds, so estrogen dominence can be a pretty common problem.

But whatever you do, don't judge her for having hormones. You have hormones, too. (And they probably make you a little crazy from time to time as well.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 08:53 PM

does it make a significant difference if a woman has never had children
or even never been pregnant..

and is currently enjoying an increased sex drive in her early to mid 40's.. ?

I'm already used to her cycles of 'crazyness'
[we've been together 25 years]..

but the good times are still bloody marvellous,
and we are both hoping she wont go completly 'nuts'
or 'dry up'.


.. the great hormonal unknown ????!


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 10:01 PM

You got it...the Great Unknown.....but be prepared for her kicking off the covers, stepping outside nekkid in a blizzard.....hot flashes can be pretty miserable....for mood swings, just leave her alone til she says it's OK. Take a drive, go have coffee with the boys...and then be prepared to be accused of 'ignoring' her when you come back....LOL...


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 10:52 PM

OK, Guest, Curious-- is it that you want a man to go on record as willing to embarrass his wife by telling you her story, or is it that you want a woman to reveal something really individual and personal that is impossible to put into words?

No harm asking, but juding the responses seems a little cold. If people don't want to share, that's their option.

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 11:08 PM

hmmm.. seems a bit of a severe uptight over-reaction ?

is that one of the symptoms then ?


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,Curious
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 11:56 PM

Actually we were hoping to learn from some of the shared experiences of people that I'm familar with. There is a lot of information out there that my wife and I have already checked out. But not everything can be learned from a book. We were hoping to learn from some people who have already "been there - done that". Perhaps that was a mistake.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 12:00 AM

It seems a bit much to ask for people you are familiar with to talk about their experiences when you post under Guest curious.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 12:03 AM

thats how I understood your purpose for asking mudcat community.
nothing wrong with that !

We are hoping to learn from this wider perspective as well.

But some other people can't help their need to feed their ego
by being disagreeable under any circumstances


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 12:08 AM

Oh, for heaven's sake. Lighten up. Under circumstances like this, its okay to be a GUEST to save embarrassment.

Ditto the comments above about "power surges" and mood swings. I HIGHLY recommend the book by Susan Weed, entitled "Menopausal Years - the Wise Woman Way."

I made it through both peri and menopause by using tinctures of dandelion root and hawthorn berry on a daily basis. Years later and no drying up or loss of interest in intimacy. I believe a lot of it has to do with accepting it is a natural process and eschew the Western medicine route of trying to "fix" it; it ain't broke, it's evolving.:-)

Be patient and supportive and keep having fun...it's not an age thing unless you let it be.:-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 12:10 AM

Lighten up yourself.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: number 6
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 12:16 AM

Hang in there and be as supportive as you can (even if she doesn't make sense) and roll with the punches ... you gotta remember the chemistry is all changing within her .. as to how long it goes on, it varies on the individual.

I can agree with Sorcha's post .. that explains quite a bit. Good one Sorch.

sIx


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: freda underhill
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 01:13 AM

The worst thing about menopause is the bad press it gets.

Menopause is a great relief - no more monthly hassles, no more PMT. Life continues on as usual, and the experience of emotional peace and balance are a great liberation.

The sky doesn't fall in, it's great. Like Kat i did it the natural way, and like Carol I experience the lead up to it (for a few years) as intense and exhausting. I also used progesterone cream during that time, made from yams & other things.

I feel much happier, liberated even, as a post menopausal woman.

freda


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 06:50 AM

Peri menopause was so bad for me that my GP started me on HRT. That sorted out the problems (one week of normalcy a month and three weeks of going out of my head). Believe me, those symptoms can take over your life, even if you are aware of what is going on. I would cross the road to avoid talking to friends during the bad periods and home life was not pleasant for my family. The worst thing was that I was aware of what I was doing but did not seem able to stop the process. That brings on guilt, which leads to more depression and the cycle goes on.

I felt great for quite a few years on HRT but then developed cancer of the womb and had a total hysterectomy. That left me with some of the symptoms - hot flushes mostly - but not nearly as much of a problem as my mother had - very bad depression, for which she lived on Valium for a good few years.

When I started on HRT I wasn't aware of the alternatives and, to be honest, was doing so well on the stuff that I probably wouldn't have switched anyway.

Every woman will be different but I think that, if you hear enough of other people's experiences it does help you to weigh up the pros and cons for yourself. Sounds to me Curious, as if your wife is lucky to have someone who cares enough to research the situation and to give support. Mind you, your wife probably deserves that! Good luck to you both.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,Curious
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 02:28 PM

Thankyou Kat,6,Freda and Jacqui for sharing.That's more along the lines of what I was hoping I would see on this tread. You've been very helpful. I expect this will be a stressful time for the two of us - but it's what you go through in a commited relationship. Although I must admit that I'm looking forward to this being in the past.
And thankyou for taking this thread seriously. I appreciate it. I'm rarely a guest without a name but for this topic I thought it would be prudent. Not for me but for my wife. We have friends that are members of the Mudcat also. And until she's willing to talk about it I figured posting as a guest would be the polite thing to do.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Kaleea
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 02:43 PM

I heard my brother giving sage advice about this to another man. He went through the usual jokes, then got a bit more serious & said that on the advice of our elderly uncle, he tried to remember to do & say everything with love. He began to not react, but instead, listen & be more understanding. After several months of this, he began to realize that our uncle had helped him to see that this was more about his own way of reacting to people & situations & less about menopause. Altering his behavior certainly made life much more enjoyable for him & his wife. Then my brother summed it up by saying "there are only two words you need to remember-Yes, Ma'am!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,Curious
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 02:52 PM

Thanks Kaleea - along those lines a very smart man once told me that there are only three words you need to say when talking to a woman. They are "hmmmm", "ahhhh" and "ohhhh".


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Peace
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 02:55 PM

'OK' is very utilitarian.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Once Famous
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 02:59 PM

I just don't get this stuff. Why go to a bunch of folksingers instead of going to a professional or worse yet, check out some books on the subject.

Besides that, I think it should be called womenopause, because you just don't see a lot of men going through it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Peace
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 02:59 PM

"Through the years society has viewed the word menopause as something that only happens to women. Fatigue, hot flashes, infertility, severe mood swings, all symptoms of female menopause have recently been reported to be symptoms of male menopause. Men have been experiencing these symptoms for years, but have been attributing them as signs of aging or have chosen to keep these symptoms silent. Recently, more men have been speaking out about these symptoms, therefore, researchers have been able to report in fact that there is a male menopause. The symptoms of menopause are psychological and physical [and] therefore can be compared to the female mid-life syndrome menopause."

And if this happens at the same time . . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: mg
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 03:16 PM

Unless your wife has major health problems already or a history of female complaints, I can't imagine getting all worked up about it in advance. I suspect but don't know that women with the worst symtpoms have tried to go really low-fat dieting. There is a cottage industry out there working up hysteria over a natural process. You're getting older; this is what happens. As they say on the t-shirt, put on your big girl panties and deal with it. This is not to minimize the serious problems some women have; they are real and requires medical and nutritional advice. But I hope that future generations will revert to the notion that it can be handled somewhat discretely...mg


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 05:51 PM

Men-o-pause can be quite liberating for a woman!:-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: CarolC
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 07:08 PM

Going on a low fat diet probably has some merit if the woman is experiencing estrogen dominence. It's in the fat of the cow (or whatever animal) that most of the estrogen administered to that animal is stored. So eliminating from one's diet any fat or any other products from animals that are given hormones can go a long way toward reducing problems with estrogen dominence.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Sorcha
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 07:19 PM

LOL, Kat...love it! I did try HRT for a while, then found out about the breast cancer connection, so dropped it. I do soy tabs, Vit E, calcium, etc.....only real prob I still have is the hot flashes....but they do seem to be getting better...

PS, I'm 54 and been doing this for about 9 years or so, can't really remember....LMP was in 98 but the process takes a whle...


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: CarolC
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 08:08 PM

It would probably be good to point out that natural hormones are not associated with any increased cancer risk, but only the laboratory produced artificial "hormones" prescribed by doctors that are associated with increased cancer risk.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: open mike
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 08:43 PM

menses comes from the latin word for month


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,2shy
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 01:37 AM

I went through menopause quite early and it lasted about four years. I took no hormones or natural creams of any kind and didn't grow a moustache. I didn't have hot flashes but had drenching night sweats. Be prepared to draw lots of hot baths and be there for comfort. Hot baths and cold beer seemed to work just fine for me.

The most difficult part was that I was very, very emotional. I think of menopause as the reverse of adolescence. Hormones rule! Menopause is just another stage. Remember, it is only a temporary state of being and it will pass. When I finally got to the other side it felt like I had finally arrived. What a great feeling. My mind, my body and my soul were finally in harmony.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,Battered and bruised
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 04:11 AM

After Googling withut success, I thought I'd ask here too - does PMS get worse when women are peri-menopausal? My wife has always been, shall we say 'fiery', but currently she's like that for about half the month. I do my best to be supportive, and when that doesn't work (When she starts yelling "Don't f*ing patronise me"!) I just make myself scarce.
I've mentioned the 'M' word - during her 'calm' fortnight, rather than in the teeth of the storm, but sadly it seems to have made her angrier; as if admitting that the menopause is around the corner is admitting that her function as a woman is over. Which is ironic, as she had her tubes tied some years back, so child-bearing has been academic for a while! From what I've read here, it seems as though I may have to see things actually get worse as she approaches the menopause. Has anyone with previous high-octance PMT got any views? And has anyone any suggestions as to how I might broach the subject without getting my head bitten off and all the toys flying out of the pram?


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,Keeping Discreet
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 04:53 AM

It's clear from the replies here alone that there are as many different experiences of the menopause as there are women. As with all kinds of experiences and events in life, I think it's important to remember that just because something happened to one person in a particular way, it isn't necessarily going to happen to you (or your spouse) in the same way. Nothing, EVER, turns out exactly as you imagine it will.

I think different stages in life and the different cocktails of hormones which they entail suit people differently. As an example, some women find pregnancy a thoroughly wretched experience; others positively bloom and may get hooked on a pregnancy "high", wanting baby after baby. The vast majority, perhaps, fall somewhere between these two extremes.

I think the response to the menopause may depend on what the "normal" level of hormones is for a particular woman in her fertile years. My progesterone levels were naturally low: I needed progesterone injections to sustain a pregnancy. Whichever the hormone is (or whichever hormone is lacking) which makes you hairy, I had that in abundance from the age of 11, and my fertile years were spent waxing/creaming/shaving/electrocuting body parts too numerous to mention !

My own personal "normal" combination of hormones during the fertile years is the reason, I think, why the menopause has been absolutely fine for me, physically, with a few night sweats, but nothing more. In hindsight, I can see that emotionally I was rather volatile at times from the age of 45 onwards - but then, the age at which the menopause occurs is a time when women may have a lot of good reason to be volatile: awkward elderly parents, tetchy teenagers to contend with, etc.

From the age of 51 to 52 I had a year of my periods becoming less frequent and then, a year ago, my periods just stopped and I am feeling that fantastic harmonious balance that "Guest 2shy" described in her post. I feel I am properly "myself", for the first time in literally decades. It's wonderful.

To my great surprise and joy, I have become LESS hairy ! My legs, lower and upper arms are now lovely and smooth and there's a lot less "maintenance" to do on my face, too. That was a wonderful unexpected bonus of the menopause for me - I suppose, because of the particular cocktail of hormones in my body during my fertile years, which is no longer there. Neither have I experienced the extreme skin changes to dryness and suddenly increased wrinkles and drooping that you hear about (and see).

This stage in life seems to suit me, and it's as if my body has been waiting for it. "Every dog has his day", as they say, and it's rather a lovely feeling that the best has been saved until last. I hope it will be the same for you and your wife, "Guest Curious".


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: jacqui.c
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 07:28 AM

Battered and bruised - Yes, peri menopause can make PMT much worse for some people. I would have two weeks prior to a period when I was absolute murder to live with as the symptoms got worse. That would stop as soon as my period started - it was almost like throwing a switch. At the time I was taking Vitamin E, Evening Primrose Oil and various other natural products, but the symptoms were still severe enough to send me to the doctor. If I'm being honest I wonder whether, even if I had been fully aware of the risks, I would have turned down the HRT treatment. What scared me was that, if I had those symptoms during peri menopause, what would menopause be like? It is no fun to spend half your time testing the patience of any saints who might happen to stick around.

My mother had extreme problems as well - whether this was coincidental or a genetic inheritance I don't know.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: CarolC
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 12:10 PM

Yes, the PMT (PMS) can get much worse as the peri-menopause progresses. But PMT is a pretty sure sign of estrogen dominence, so that only makes sense. She is producing less and less progesterone as she gets closer to menopause, so it makes sense that the PMT will get worse.

It got so bad for me that if I don't take various precautions against estrogen dominence (progesterone cream, and avoiding foods that contain estrogen or estrogenic compounds), I experience extremely severe PMS all month long.

I don't know how you might bring the subject up with her, but you might consider telling her you found something that some women have found helps them feel better when they're having PMT, and not mention the menopause thing at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 12:30 PM

Battered and Bruised, the mention of the "M" word may also have had a negative effect because it is a sign of growing older. My mother-in-law hated being called a "senior citizen" because of the ageist implications.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: open mike
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 01:37 PM

there are some tablets that offer help..
some have calcium in them too, which
is good for women to take.
i am not sure whether to put them in
the medicine cabinet with the pain
killers, anti-septics and body care
products, or the food cabinet with
the vitimins, herbs and spices.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,Battered and bruised
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 02:40 PM

Thank you very much for the advice, and for your candour jacqui, Carole, Kat, Mike and the anoynous ones.
Carole, when you say avoiding foods that contain estrogen or estrogenic compounds, what sort of foods do you mean? This sounds promising.
I don't think I can broach it quite the way you suggest, by the way, else she'll be thinking I'm seeing someone behind her back! I may mention Google, however...


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Peace
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 02:45 PM

www.annecollins.com/best-diet-for-menopause.htm


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,K.C.
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 11:51 AM

I don't think I have the menopause yet ( I still have regular periods ) , but I have low hormones and a gynaelogical problem which I think I have had for years, but no doctor had uncovered until now. ( LOng story; but blame the NHS for that one. )

So it seems I have had the SYMPTOMS of the menopsue since I was 32 , i.e the past 8 years, and it now feels like there's light at the end of the tunnel to know, perhaps, WHY I have been feeling down for years. Feeling down for so long contributed to my marriage breaking down. To be honest I feel it made me put up with stuff I shouldn't have, cos I had low self esteem etc.. ( Another long story. )

So I feel relieved now it seems that there is a name for this, and that I can get treatment for it. At the moment I am waiting for an operation for my gynaelogical problem which might sort out my hormones, and I have started taking anti-depressants. I have stopped crying and life seems a bit better.

My doctor says you have to fight against psychological problems, and it's true. I felt better as soon as I had gone and got some tablets for it. I am maybe unusual because I am not afraid to say that I am going through a tough time, and that I am taking pills for it.

It is also good to remember that a lack of hormones can affect your memory, which makes you feel like you are becoming incapable of doing things. In my case, it made me very scared to move on in my career, and it's stopping me from retraining at the moment. I want to study but I am not sure that I can.

Get a book about it. But, be warned; as I ticked off the stuff I already have, I then started fearing all the other stuff in the book, and it's like saying " it's down hill from here. " That in itself is hard to deal with, never mind the hormones !

Good luck. You partner is lucky to have a caring man by her side.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 07:03 PM

The most aggravating part of perimenopause and menopause was not knowing if I'd ever be able to wear white pants again.

But I never had hot flashes or mood swings.

And it was a GREAT relief not only not to have periods any more but to not have the "raging hormonal unbalance" migraines that went along with them.

I suggest eating a lot of tofu and other soy products (I snack on tofu right out of the brine like cheese). Might help -- won't hurt. HRT for too long can cause problems (like my mother's breast cancer -- she'd been on HRT for 30 years which is ridiculous).

Attitude can make a major difference. Just remember that it's your body shifting gears. If there's a symptom upsetting your life's balance right now, find something that will smooth it out. Eventually the hormonal unbalance evens itself out.

It's sort of like going through puberty backwards.

Linn


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: CarolC
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 12:02 PM

Foods containing estrogen and estrogenic compounds include, soy, carrots, alfalfa (some people eat alfalfa sprouts or drink alfalfa tea), any dairy products, meat products, or eggs from animals that were given hormones either in their diet or by injection (this is the case with most animal products in the US - don't know about other countries). Eggs and dairy are often hidden ingredients in many foods.

Pesticides and alcohol can also behave like estrogen in the body.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 01:45 PM

And soy milk -- I prefer the "straight" soy milk with no flavorings (not even vanilla), just soybeans and water. I like the fresh slightly "green" taste. I don't particularly care for cow's milk so it doesn't bother me that it doesn't taste like cow's milk.

Linn


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST,Martin gibson
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 02:11 PM

A lot of old broads here it seems.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 02:24 PM

The advice about animal products in the diet contributing hormones that may be either helpful or harmful depending on your own "hormone balance" is supported by some credible reports; but there is also the apparent ability for your own "body fat" to secrete a variety of hormones.

The mix of what oozes out of adipose tissue appears to be quite complex, and there is still debate about how it affects other body systems and functions; but at least some recent reports implicate high body fat as a cause of failure of obese adolescents to develop normal(whatever that is?) secondary sexual characteristics associated with pre-teen and teenage development. Estrogen, progesterone, and insulin all are claimed to have been identified as products of adipose tissue metabolism (along with a bunch of other stuff). The amounts usually seem to be small, but could be enough to shift ones basal levels(?).

There is insufficient agreement among the experts (that I've seen) to justify recommending extreme measures, but exercise and moderate control of "middle age spread" might help in maintaining a manageable balance of all those exotic juices. ... Or might not ...

At least, if you maintain reasonable fitness, you'll be able to run faster, throw straighter, and hit harder when one of those DUMB MALES who DOESN'T UNDERSTAND seriously NEEDS K....

(Guys: maintining yourself in good condition may be a big help in dealing with the PMT/PMS woman in your life. See above.)

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 11:54 PM

Martin, yes, men don't go through it, but they do suffer from it.

Curious, I knew a woman who attacked her man with edged weapons, several who left home, some permanently, and some who were very reasonable in the process.
It's all part of life's adventure.

It lasted about 2 years for my wife, and she was one of the reasonable ones, although fairly feisty normally. She was very tearful. It did leave her with a tendency to migranes, which she never had before.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Sooz
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 11:50 AM

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you! ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: What did I do wrong? SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars. ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day? SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today. SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe! ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 01:26 PM

LMAO!! Thanks for that, Sooz. Have printed and posted it on our frig!


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Sooz
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 02:18 PM

My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it
leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.

Here have some chocolate.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Alice
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 10:39 AM

Ha! Sooz. Great.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Alice
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 10:51 AM

Curious guest, every woman is different and it is all a new and unpredictable adventure. Just be glad it isn't happening to Your body.

I went through the research, talking online to other women my age, trying what the doctor had, trying what the herb store had, etc.

In the end, all that really "worked" was just being as optimistic and patient as possible until the years of hot flashes and night sweats were over.

I did get some hot flash relief, unless it was just placebo effect, from one brand of soy pills that had enough isoflavones that were effective in a clinical study - Healthy Woman. The yam creams, etc., were expensive and didn't work for me.   

The main effect it had on me was to drive in the point that I'm not the young thing I see in my head, I am aging, and I have to accept the progress of tme. That actually made me feel stronger, braver, more courageous in stating my opinions, more self confident. The "hormone cocktail" (great term) is different for each of us and also changes from day to day. The cortisol increase that wrecked my figure was the hardest part for me. Waxing can take care of the chin hairs, but it can be depressing to have to finally accept that our youth is over, we get chin hairs like our grandmother's did, and that a good night's sleep is hard to come by.

Our society worships youth so much, especially for women, that the attitude our culture has toward older women was the hardest part I had to deal with when going through menopause.


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Subject: RE: BS: Menopause
From: Once Famous
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 10:57 AM

yes, dry pussy is a bummer.


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