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Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside

DigiTrad:
COME INSIDE


Forsh 20 Mar 06 - 06:06 AM
Jim Dixon 23 Mar 06 - 01:24 AM
Splott Man 23 Mar 06 - 03:53 AM
Jim Dixon 25 Mar 06 - 12:29 AM
GUEST,Jim Ward 25 Mar 06 - 09:36 AM
GUEST,Hootenanny 26 Mar 06 - 07:44 AM
GUEST,Chris Paul 05 Aug 10 - 07:40 AM
Jim Dixon 05 Aug 10 - 08:35 AM
Scabby Douglas 05 Aug 10 - 09:40 AM
Scabby Douglas 06 Aug 10 - 07:48 AM
GUEST,ruthie 07 Mar 13 - 11:14 AM
GUEST,Jenny 01 Dec 13 - 07:23 AM
Jim Dixon 01 Dec 13 - 01:47 PM
Roger the Skiffler 02 Dec 13 - 05:56 AM
Weasel 02 Dec 13 - 09:05 AM
GUEST,Dave Hunt 02 Dec 13 - 11:35 AM
Waddon Pete 02 Dec 13 - 02:58 PM
Jim Dixon 03 Dec 13 - 02:44 PM
GUEST 24 Aug 14 - 06:16 AM
GUEST,Mike Green 11 Jan 16 - 12:57 PM
RTim 11 Jan 16 - 01:10 PM
Waddon Pete 11 Jan 16 - 02:16 PM
Joe_F 11 Jan 16 - 08:49 PM
Joe Offer 12 Jan 16 - 01:55 AM
Waddon Pete 12 Jan 16 - 03:49 PM
GUEST,Chloe Middleton-Metcalfe 03 Aug 16 - 04:08 AM
GUEST,Senoufou 03 Aug 16 - 04:45 AM
Scabby Douglas 23 Jan 18 - 07:34 AM
GUEST,John 21 Aug 18 - 04:58 PM
GUEST,Brian Grayson 22 Aug 18 - 08:50 AM
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Subject: Lyr Add: you silly buggers!
From: Forsh
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 06:06 AM

My old man, Forsh AKA Alan Forshaw, Rumbelowe etc, used to sing a little ditty to me, dunno if it is in digitrad, tried a few searches and cant find it, so, here's the ditty:
    Come inside you silly buggers come inside
    You ought to have a bit more sense.
    Working for a living,
    Take my tip,
    Act a bit peculiar and become a lunatic.
    Oh, you get your meals quite regular
    And two new suits besides.
    Thirty bob a week.
    No wife and kids to keep.
    Come inside, you silly buggers, come inside
Found the lyrics and some great/interesting stuff on another site, which is well worth the visit:HERE
Forsh


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: you silly buggers!
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 01:24 AM

It's in the DT under the title COME INSIDE, but it has "bugger" instead of "buggers."


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: you silly buggers!
From: Splott Man
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 03:53 AM

The verse goes:

I was working by a lunatic asylum one day,
My job was picking up stones,
When along come a lunatic and says to me
"Good morning, Mr Jones,
How much a week do you get for doing that?"
"30 bob." I cried
"30 bob a week? Your wife and kids to keep?
Come inside you silly bugger, come inside!"

That's inflation mind you, it was 15 bob when I used to sing it.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 12:29 AM

Jack Tarling recorded COME INSIDE, YOU SILLY BUGGER, COME INSIDE on a cassette called "Down in the Fields Where the Buttercups Do Grow: Jack Tarling Sings Songs of the Essex/Suffolk/Cambs Border," Neil Lanham Tapes NL01, 1996.

This review says the song is better known as THE LUNATIC ASYLUM.

Chas & Dave recorded a song called THE LUNATIC ASYLUM on their album "Don't Give a Monkeys," EMI LP #3303, 1979, but I don't know if it's the same song.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST,Jim Ward
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 09:36 AM

The version I heard in London around sixty years ago had a verse-

Down at the R.O. last Thursday morning*
Waiting for me Two Pound Ten
The officer came up to me
Good morning Mr. Jones
How much longer are you coming down here?
Six more weeks I sighed
Oh said the officer and shook his head
And this is what he cried

Chorus similar to Forsh above but I think it was "arf-a-crown a week"

*R.O. = Relief Office.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST,Hootenanny
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 07:44 AM

My Father's version around Bow and Bethnal Green is slightly different:


Outside a lunatic asylum one day
Chopping up great big stones
When up comes a feller and talks to me
By the name of Mister Jones

'Ow much a week do you get for that?
Thirty bob I cried
Working for a living? Take my tip
Act a bit silly and become a lunatic

You get your meals quite regular
And three new suits beside
Thirty bob a week and a dozen kids to keep
Come inside you silly feller come inside

Come inside, come inside
Come inside you silly feller come inside
Thirty bob a week and a dozen kids to keep
Come inside you silly feller come inside


Whilst being reminded of my father's repertoire, does anybody else know the song "I'm as Happy as a Fly upon the Bullshit" ??

Hoot


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST,Chris Paul
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 07:40 AM

There was a pub singer/organist (Queenie??) in Manchester who used to sing this one in the 70s and 80s at the Briton's Protection. I just sang the verse and chorus to my brother and daughter and then googled it.

It was the picking up stones version. There was a further verse or two in this guy's version - which I reckon would have been one from the music halls or whatever. This involved a similar exchange outside the gates of hell. Will see if I can find it.

He went on to the Beehive in Clifton (towards Bolton, not the one in Bristol) but no idea whether he's still active. There were some great floor singers who used to turn out every week for the open mic at the Brits.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Ins
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 08:35 AM

From Adolf Hitler: My Part in His Downfall by Spike Milligan (London: Joseph, 1971), page 41:

Outside a lunatic asylum one day
A Gunner was picking up stones;
Up popped a lunatic and said to him,
Good Morning Gunner Jones,
How much a week do you get for doing that?
Fifteen bob, I cried.
He looked at me
With a look of glee,
And this is what he cried:

CHORUS: Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense,
Working for the army. Take my tip,
Act a bit barmy and become a lunatic.
You get your four meals regular
And two new suits beside.
Wot? Fifteen bob a week,
A wife and kids to keep?
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 05 Aug 10 - 09:40 AM

Here's a video of the Chas & Dave version mentioned above:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ukhwmd8sDQI


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 07:48 AM

I had a search, and could not find any more verses. So, I wrote a couple.

Note: Barlinnie Prison is in Glasgow


Cheers,




Steven


Outside a lunatic asylum one day
I was picking up some stones;
Up popped a lunatic and said to me
Good Morning Mister Jones,
How much a week do you get for doing that?
Fifteen bob, he cried.
He looked at me
With a look of glee,
And this is what he cried:

Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense,
Working for your money? Take my tip,
Act a bit funny and become a lunatic.
You get your four meals regular
And two new suits beside.
Wot? Fifteen bob a week,
A wife and kids to keep?
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.

Outside Barlinnie Prison, the other day
Picking litter up off the street
Out came a warder and he said to me
"you look dead on your feet.
how Many hours a day do they Have you doing that?"
Nine to five, I sighed
He laughed and laughed
Called me daft
And gently he replied

Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense, (yes, I did)
Work your hands all raw? No. Do a little crime,
Get lifted by the law and serve a bit of time.
You get your porridge regular
And two new suits beside.
Work forty hours a week?
Come in and have a sleep.
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.


I died and was sent to Heaven (the other day)
and walked round by the Gates of Hell (it's a shortcut)
The devil came out and said to me
"my boy, you don't look well."
How long'll you be be sittin twanging harps on clouds?
For Eternity, I said
He clapped his hands
Did a little dance
And he kindly slapped my head


Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense, (yes, I did)
Singing in the choir? Heavenly host?
There's a nice warm fire, and you'll get a bit of roast
You'd be bored up there in Heaven
And that gown's a bit too wide.
Head through the Pearly Gates?
Nah...Come in and join your mates.
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST,ruthie
Date: 07 Mar 13 - 11:14 AM

The version I learnt in the early 1950s was slightly different:
Outside a lunatic asylum one day, as I was picking stones,
A lunatic came up to me and said, 'Hello, Mr Jones!
How much do you get for doing that?'
'Fifteen bob', I sighed.
He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye,
And this is what he cried:
'Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside!
I thought you had more sense.
Working for a living? Be like me,
Act a little funny, be a lunatic!
You get your meals regular, a brand-new suit besides.
Thirty bob a week, no kids to keep, come inside, you silly bugger, come inside!'


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST,Jenny
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 07:23 AM

Thank you, Ruthie - I read through all these (and some other versions on different sites) and thought I must have misremembered the words that my father used to sing to us (or else he'd misremembered) but Ruthie's version is word for word the same as what my father used to sing.


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Subject: Lyr Add: LUNATIC ASYLUM (from Chas & Dave)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Dec 13 - 01:47 PM

LUNATIC ASYLUM
As sung by Chas & Dave on "The Very Best of Chas & Dave"

Workin' once in a lunatic asylum, breaking up some stones,
When along come a lunatic and says to me: "Good morning, Mister Jones.
How much a week do you get for doing this?" "Thirty bob," I sighs.
Well, the old man looked and he scratched his head and this is what he cries:

"Come inside, you silly fella; come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense (yes, I did).
Workin' for a living, take my tip:
Act a little silly and become a lunatic.
Oh, you gets your meals quite regular, and two new suits besides,
Thirty bob a week, no wife and kids to keep.
Come inside, you silly bugger; come inside."


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 05:56 AM

One my grandad san- to the disgust of my grandma! Coincidentally I've recently seen a local 3 piece called Erstwhile who do it and I was surprised that I remembered all the words- it's a long time since I've heard anyone do it.
RtS


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Weasel
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 09:05 AM

The youtube link doesn't work any more. Does anybody know the tune for this?

Cheers,

Weasel


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST,Dave Hunt
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 11:35 AM

Slightly different

Outside a lunatic asylum, I got a job breakin' stones
When a lunatic popped his head over the wall and said
Good ev'nin' Mr Jones
'Ow much a week dost tha' get fer doin that?
Fifteen bob I replied
He loooked at me in a funny sort of way and this is what he cried

Come inside you silly bugger come inside
I thouth tha'd have a bit more sense
Working for a living! - take my tip
Why don't you pack it all in and become a lunatic
For tha gets tha meals quite regular, and two new suits beside
If tha've I wife and kids to keep,
On fiftenn bob a week
Come inside yer silly bugger come inside

Many many years ago from Swan Arcade


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 02 Dec 13 - 02:58 PM

Ah....inflation....in the South London version it's 30 bob a week!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 03 Dec 13 - 02:44 PM

Weasel: I strongly recommend you get Spotify. That's where I heard Chas & Dave's version of Lunatic Asylum.

I found a version on YouTube by unnamed musicians but it's not as good as Chas & Dave. Still, it will do if all you want is to learn the tune:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzOJpBW62YU


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Aug 14 - 06:16 AM

Last year I recorded an old boy in a Hampshire pub singing this one:

http://youtu.be/egFME5MTdhM?list=UU2VjLw2NQfN80bFRG8c4nwQ

It's a wonderful and inspiringly authentic version he learned from a local auctioneer when a little 'nipper'.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST,Mike Green
Date: 11 Jan 16 - 12:57 PM

Does anyone know the second verse ( from Grandfather in 1940s)- I can only remember the first two lines

'The other night I had a funny dream,
I dreamt that I had died
And I went up to Heaven, but God would't let me in
So the other place I tried
The Devil with his hook, he met me at the gates……………..


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: RTim
Date: 11 Jan 16 - 01:10 PM

I have a friend who sings this song. If I remember i'll ask her!

Tim Radford


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 11 Jan 16 - 02:16 PM

My version of the verse you are looking for came from Mum.

Late last night well I had a funny dream.
I dreamt that I had died.
I went up to heaven but they wouldn't let me in
So the other place I tried.
There was the devil all a-standing at the gate,
He looked at me with a grin
And said, "Hello Peter, my old mate, why don't you come all I'm?"
Come inside etc.
You went up to heaven and St. Peter told you twice
They don't have folk singers in at any price!
So come in why don't you, and all the demons cried
Don't you know this is the place for all folk singers
Come inside you silly fellow come inside!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Joe_F
Date: 11 Jan 16 - 08:49 PM

Once upon a time a man took his car to the garage to have the tires rotated, and on the way home there was a wobble & one of the wheels fell off. Evidently the mechanic had forgotten to put the nuts on. So he was standing on the street studying the situation, when he heard a shout from above. He looked up, and saw that he happened to be outside an insane asylum. "Hey!" said the inmate, "Take one nut off each of the other three wheels." "Good idea," said the driver, "Thanks!" & then, hoping to be polite, "Say, you're not so crazy after all." "Sure I'm crazy, but I'm not stupid."

Said to be J. Robert Oppenheimer's favorite joke.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Joe Offer
Date: 12 Jan 16 - 01:55 AM

Bert posted the song in the Forum in 1998, and it was added to the Digital Tradition and tentatively attributed to Bert Hansell.

I'm guessing that attribution is wrong. Bert, where'd you learn it?

-Joe-


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 12 Jan 16 - 03:49 PM

...of course, Mum didn't sing 'folksinger' in the verse posted above. She was from a music hall family so referred to music hall singers. You can, however, have fun adding whatever you choose in place of 'folksinger' depending on your audience!

Peter


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST,Chloe Middleton-Metcalfe
Date: 03 Aug 16 - 04:08 AM

From the singing of John Metcalfe through Ian and Andrew Metcalfe
Slight variations from a Northampton family.

I was outside a lunatic asylum one day, had a job picking up stones
along came a lunatic who said: "Good morning Mr Jones,
Oh, how much a week do you get for doing that", "Thirty bob I cried"
"thirty bob a week, with a wife and kids to keep?
Come inside you silly bugger come inside"

"Come inside you silly bugger come inside, you ought to have a bit more sense.
Working for your living, take my tip, act a little simple and become a lunatic.
Oh you get your meals quite regular and a brand new suit besides.
thirty bob a week with a wife and kids to keep.
Come inside you silly bugger come inside."


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST,Senoufou
Date: 03 Aug 16 - 04:45 AM

It looks as if the Politically Correct Brigade have been at work on Youtube and 'expunged' this song from Chas and Dave's repertoire. Sigh.

If one removed all songs that might cause offence from our culture, there'd hardly be any left! Who are all these over-sensitive pearl-clutchers that cringe with horror at anything a bit dodgy?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 23 Jan 18 - 07:34 AM

Here's the song as I sing it. First verse and "chorus" as gleaned and collated from Internet sources. The rest I made up.

Live rendition of "Come Inside/Lunatic Asylum"

Lyrics as I sing them (mostly):

I was working down by the lunatic asylum
I was picking up some stones;
Up popped a lunatic and said to me
Good Morning Mister Jones,
How much a week do you get for doing that?
Fifteen bob, I sighed.
He looked at me, with sympathy,
And this is what he cried:

Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense,
Working for your money? Take my tip,
Act a little funny and become a lunatic.
You get your four meals regular
And two new suits beside.
Wot? Fifteen bob a week,
A wife and kids to keep?
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.

New verses:
I was working down by the prison
I was sweeping up the street
Out came a prisoner and he said to me
“Man, you look dead on your feet.
How many hours a day do they have you doing that?”
Nine to five, I cried
He laughed and laughed
Called me daft
And gently he replied

Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense,
Work your hands all raw? No. Do a little crime,
Surrender to the law and do a bit of time.
You get your porridge regular
And sex and drugs besides.
Working like a wretch? Come and do a stretch!
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.

I died and on my way to heaven
and walked round by the Gates of Hell
Out came Beelzebub and said to me
“my boy, you don’t look well.
How long’ll you be be sittin twanging harps on clouds?”
For Eternity, I said
He clapped his hands
Did a little dance
And he kindly slapped my head

Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense.
Singing in the choir? Heavenly host?
Here’s a nice warm fire, and you’ll get a bit of roast
We've got lots of horny little devils
to keep you occupied.
Head through the Pearly Gates?
Nah…   Come in and join your mates.
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.

There’s no moral to my story
No message to my tale
Some days you are Jonah, some days you are the whale
But if you see some poor bugger toiling, working like he has no choice
Open your door, shout and roar
At the top of your bloody voice…
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.
I thought you had a bit more sense,
Working for your money? Take my tip,
Act a little funny and become a lunatic.
You get your four meals regular
And two new suits beside.
Wot? Fifteen bob a week,
A wife and kids to keep?
Come inside, you silly bugger, come inside.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST,John
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 04:58 PM

So pleased to have found this lyric. My dad (1914-76, born and brought up around the Elephant and Castle in south London) often used to sing the first couple of lines of this to a kind of tune, and I never knew, until now, if he'd made it up or was mixing it up with another song. What a wonderful thing the internet is.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Come Inside You Silly Bugger Come Inside
From: GUEST,Brian Grayson
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 08:50 AM

I have a cassette recording of Swan Arcade at the 1973 Edinburgh Festival - Dave sings 'Come Inside, Silly Bugger', and apparently nowhere else on any on their commercial recordings.

I have no idea where the cassette came from...


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