Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafesj

Post to this Thread - Sort Descending - Printer Friendly - Home


Songs about trees - the funny side

Saro 26 Apr 06 - 06:57 AM
Mick Pearce (MCP) 26 Apr 06 - 07:41 AM
GUEST,The black belt caterpillar wrestler 26 Apr 06 - 07:49 AM
rich-joy 26 Apr 06 - 08:21 AM
GUEST,Jack Campin 26 Apr 06 - 08:28 AM
GUEST,TIA 26 Apr 06 - 10:25 AM
Mo the caller 26 Apr 06 - 10:44 AM
Bill D 26 Apr 06 - 11:29 AM
melodeonboy 26 Apr 06 - 12:16 PM
Bert 26 Apr 06 - 02:06 PM
Saro 26 Apr 06 - 05:26 PM
Susanne (skw) 26 Apr 06 - 08:05 PM
MartinRyan 26 Apr 06 - 08:24 PM
MartinRyan 26 Apr 06 - 08:35 PM
Mo the caller 27 Apr 06 - 07:41 AM
GUEST,The black belt caterpillar wrestler 27 Apr 06 - 02:55 PM
JennyO 28 Apr 06 - 11:16 AM
Susan of DT 28 Apr 06 - 12:26 PM
Stewart 28 Apr 06 - 01:55 PM
GUEST,Cluin 29 Apr 06 - 03:40 AM
GUEST,Bruce Baillie 30 Apr 06 - 01:27 AM
Bert 30 Apr 06 - 12:25 PM
JohnR 01 May 06 - 11:09 AM
davidkiddnet 01 May 06 - 11:59 AM
davidkiddnet 01 May 06 - 01:42 PM
GUEST 01 May 06 - 01:47 PM
Share Thread
more
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:





Subject: Trees - the funny side?
From: Saro
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 06:57 AM

I'm working on a "songs and words" project about trees and woodland - up to my eyes in wonderful songs, great stories and folklore and loads of history of course (this is mainly UK based by the way). However, I've failed so far to find anything funny - trees seem to inspire admiration, awe and all sorts of things, but not humour. So, it could be a bit of a heavy programme... can anyone help me out? Do you know a funny song/story/anecdote/bit of folklore about trees/a specific tree/woodland etc?
Here's hoping!!!
Best wishes
Sarah


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 07:41 AM

Sarah

You could have a look at The Pear Tree

Mick


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: GUEST,The black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 07:49 AM

How about Graham Pratt's "Magig Pear Tree". The story comes from Italy and pre-dates Chaucer.
The last line repeats in each verse with a sort of music hall feel to it.


There was a young lady, a tender young thing,
Did marry a crusty old man,
But soon, to her shame, found her passions inflamed
By his handsome young serving man, Dan.
His handsome young serving man, Dan.

In a note she confessed that she loved him the best
But complained she was never alone.
"So if you intend, sir, to make me surrender
'Tmust be when I'm with the old man."

Now Daniel's desire his thoughts did inspire
To think how this feat might be achieved.
A sly cunning plan that would fool the old man
But convince him he'd not been deceived.

A plan was agreed, implemented with speed,
The scene of the crime was the orchard,
Where Daniel and Bess their true love could express,
A love that had so long been tortured.

The very next day through the orchard strolled they,
Sweet Bessie and old Ebeneezer.
Says Bess, "My dear man would you please ask young Dan
To fetch me a pear from that tree sir."

Well they called for young Dan ('twas all part of the plan)
And he climbed the tree right to the top,
But then he looked down and started to frown,
And called out "Oh stop sir, pray stop."

The old man was perplexed and a little bit vexed,
And he called on young Dan to explain.
Says Dan "What I see from the top of this tree,
Well it grieves me and causes me pain."

"It would seem that this tree is a magical tree
For, from up here on high looking down,
It did seem sir to me that the lady and thee
Were a-tumbling around on the ground."

Well up springs the old man and as fast as he can,
And believe me sir that was quite slow,
Though well past his prime, the tree for to climb
To see if what Dan said was so.

Meanwhile Dan and Bess, not needing excuse,
Began for to sport on the ground,
And when Ebeneezer was high in the tree, sir,
He turned and began to look down.


"Well 'tis magic indeed for I never did see
A funnier thing in my life.
From on top of this tree, though I know it can't be,
It would seem you're on top of my wife.

So come all you old men who would marry again,
The moral is plain to be found.
Don't give a flea for the pear in the tree,
Just watch out for the pair on the ground.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: rich-joy
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 08:21 AM

Well, John Gorka's "Branching Out" (When I grow up I wanna be a tree ...) is an up-tempo, joyous sort of Tree song!


Cheers! R-J


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: GUEST,Jack Campin
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 08:28 AM

Monty Python's Lumberjack Song?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: GUEST,TIA
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 10:25 AM

Anecdote eh?

A dog poops in front of a tree. Walks a bit further, poops in front of another tree. Walks a bit, and does the same again.

What does that add up to?

Why, 10 of course.













(tree and a turd + tree and a turd + tree and a turd)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: Mo the caller
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 10:44 AM

Woodman spare that tree?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 11:29 AM

in the DT database is More Wood, which is a light-hearted song about cutting wood for winter.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: melodeonboy
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 12:16 PM

"If you go down to the woods today......"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: Bert
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 02:06 PM

Try Rattling Bog


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: Saro
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 05:26 PM

Thanks all of you - keep em coming! I've also been working on something on the lines of "I'm sorry I haven't a clue" (This will probably only make sense to Radio 4 listeners) Late arrivals at the Woodland Ball - Mr. Lar and his dad, Pop Lar, from Ireland the O'Tree family with their son Will, and the Verbirches, with their daughter Cilla ...oh dear...sorry, I'll stop now. But if you have any more, I'd be glad to hear them. I have a lot more, but don't like to cause unnecessary suffering to others... !
Sarah


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: Lyr Add: Woodland Waltz
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 08:05 PM

WOODLAND WALTZ
(Jim King)

Chorus:
Can you imagine a world without trees
Do you think you'd survive it for long
Put yourself to the test, try it with ease
Hold your breath for the rest of this song

Hornbeam and willow, maple and elm
Sycamore, chestnut and yew
Hazel and redwood, rowan and birch
Oak and holly, to name but a few

The tropical rainforest burns day and night
In Brazil they need land for the cow
But the Amazon basin, the lungs of the world
Has a cancer that must be cured now

This scale of destruction eases production
Of beef for the hamburger king
Those meat mafioso, that's how it goes
That's why I stand here and sing

If you've no objection to making a buck
And you don't think the future looks black
When it comes to the end you could be out of luck
If you had to inhale a Big Mac

               Final chorus:
               Can you imagine a world without trees
               How long do you think you'd survive
               Put yourself to the test, try it with ease
               Hold your breath for the rest of your life


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: MartinRyan
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 08:24 PM

Saro

Avondale.... of course!

Regards

p.s. See you Monday - with the poets across the roads!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: MartinRyan
Date: 26 Apr 06 - 08:35 PM

...road....

p.s. How Green(e) can you get?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side?
From: Mo the caller
Date: 27 Apr 06 - 07:41 AM

Wow.
I've been dancing to "Rattling Bog", and trying to play it, for ages and never knew it was cumulative (I knew the version "On the ground there stood a tree")


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side? (songs about...)
From: GUEST,The black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 27 Apr 06 - 02:55 PM

My version of the rattling bog goes:-
tree,limb, branch, twig, leaf, nest, egg, bird, wing, feather, bed from the feather, maid on the bed, man on the maid, seed from the man, tree from the seed, and this tree was the tree of life.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side? (songs about...)
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Apr 06 - 11:16 AM

"I talk to the trees,
That's why they put me away..."

Spike Milligan


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side? (songs about...)
From: Susan of DT
Date: 28 Apr 06 - 12:26 PM

Apple Picker's Reel in the DT is upbeat


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side? (songs about...)
From: Stewart
Date: 28 Apr 06 - 01:55 PM

The Log Driver's Waltz.

S. in Seattle


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side? (songs about...)
From: GUEST,Cluin
Date: 29 Apr 06 - 03:40 AM

Can't think of a better example than Wendell Ferguson's "Rocks and Trees" (and travelling along Highway 17 my whole life, I know whereof he sings).
From this site:


Rocks & Trees
by Wendell Ferguson


Rocks & trees, trees & rocks
If you've driven 17 you've seen lots
Though I dearly love this land
I've stood all I can stand of
Rocks & trees, trees & rocks

Rocks & trees, trees & rocks
Reams and reams of endless trees and tons of rocks
The whole north is just proliferous
With metamorphic and coniferous
Rocks & trees, trees & rocks

Rocks & trees, trees & rocks
Motel signs, hydro lines and a flattened fox
Oh construction site machinery
Is a welcome change of scenery from
Rocks & trees, trees & rocks

Bert loves Pearl, John loves Jane
Must each boy and every girl inscribe their names?
It's so quaint the way he told her
With spray paint upon a boulder
Bert loves John?

Trees & rocks, rocks & trees
A guy can quickly get real sick of seein' these
What's the deal with all the tourists?
It's just shield here and some forests and
Trees & rocks, rocks & trees

Rocks & trees, trees & rocks
A double line and I'm stuck behind a dozen trucks
By the time you hit Kenora
You don't want to see no more-a
Rocks & trees, trees & rocks

Here's a break, it's a little lake
Cause I've seen all the you-know-whats
that I can take
As I gaze down to the bottom
I can see it's filled with rotten
Rotten trees and rotten rocks for Gods' sake

Miles & miles & miles & miles & miles of trees
Piles & piles & piles & piles & piles of rocks
When God made this northern land He
Must've ordered way too many
Rocks & trees, trees & rocks
Rocks & trees, trees & rocks
Rocks & trees, trees & rocks


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side? (songs about...)
From: GUEST,Bruce Baillie
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 01:27 AM

"I wonder what you were like lad, when you were just a tree,
all supple lithe and strong lad, wi' your branches blowing free.
It must be a bit of a come down, stuck there wi' your feet in that hole,
I wonder how you feel now you're a Tel-e-graph pole!"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side? (songs about...)
From: Bert
Date: 30 Apr 06 - 12:25 PM

Well seeing as we've drifted to telegraph poles...

In days of old when knights were bold
and women weren't invented
men drilled holes in telegraph poles
and shagged away contented.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side? (songs about...)
From: JohnR
Date: 01 May 06 - 11:09 AM

Hi Sarah,

I was taken to see Michael Flanders & Donald Swann's 'At the Drop of a Hat' as a child and still turn to them for some humour, so while Honeysuckle and Bindweed may not quite be trees, how about 'Misalliance':

Misalliance

The fragrant Honeysuckle spirals clockwise to the sun
and many other creepers do the same

But some climb anticlockwise,
the Bindweed does for one,
or Convovulus, to give her proper name.

Rooted on either side a door
one of each species grew
and raced towards the window ledge above

Each corkscrewed to the lintel in the only way it knew
where they stopped, touched tendrils, smiled
and fell in love.

Said the right-handed Honeysuckle to the left handed Bindweed
"Oh let us get married if our parents don't mind
We'd be loving and inseparable, inextricably entwined
We'd live happily ever after" said the Honeysuckle to the Bindweed.

To the Honeysuckle's parents it came as a shock,
"The Bindweeds", they cried, "are inferior stock,
They're uncultivated, of breeding bereft
We twine to the right and they twine to the left".

Said the anticlockwise Bindweed to the clockwise Honeysuckle;
"We'd better start saving - Many a mickle mak's a muckle
Then run away on a honeymoon and hope that out luck'll
Take a turn for the better", said the Bindweed to the Honeysuckle.

A bee who was passing remarked to them then;
"I've said it before and I'll say it again
Consider your offshoots, if offshoots there be,
They'll never receive any blezzing from me".

"Poor little sucker, how will it learn
When it is climbing, which way to turn,
Right, left, what a disgrace
Or it may go straight up and fall flat on its face."

Said the right-hand thread Honeysuckle to the left-hand thread Bindweed
"It seems that against us all fate has combined
Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Columbine
Thou art lost and gone forever, we shall never intertwine".

Together they found them, the very next day
They had pulled up their roots and just shrivelled away
Deprived of that freedom for which we must fight
To veer to the left or to veer to the right.


I'll send you a PM with some other tree stuff (not funny)

Best wishes,

John (South Brent)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side? (songs about...)
From: davidkiddnet
Date: 01 May 06 - 11:59 AM

The Tree
by Mike Heron of the Incredible String Band

TUNING: Open G   D G D G B D

To play with record Capo II and play chords in parenthesis

A(G)             D(C)                                                         A(G)
I had a Tree,          in the dream hills where my childhood lay.

And I'd go there in the wide, long days,
D(C)                                                         A(G)
       And my Tree would listen to all that I'd say.

E(D)                         A(G)
    And the sun was shining brightly,
E(D)                  A(G)
and the sky was smiling,
E(D)                   A(G)            
and the sun was shining brightly,
E(D)                  A(G)
and the sky was smiling.

http://www.angelfire.com/biz3/ISB/ISB4.html
THANKS TO ALEX, SHANE POPE AND AUMONY FORSYTH FOR THE CHORDS!
From my memory the rest of the words are something like:


2. Then one day when the world had got me in its tomb
and my mind was just an empty room
And I would stand there in my gloom
and the light was fading dimly and the sky was crying

3. Then my tree bent its branches low down to the ground.
and the green leaves shrouded up my mind
and I felt I�d left somthing behind

and I can�t remeber any more except it ends happily

see mudcat forum shortly
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=8816#1151229
where I foresee you will find the rest of the words suppied by other fans


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side? (songs about...)
From: davidkiddnet
Date: 01 May 06 - 01:42 PM

The Tree
by Mike Heron

I had a Tree, in the dream hills where my childhood lay.
and I'd go there in the wide, long days,
and my Tree would listen to all that I'd say.
and the sun was shining brightly, and the sky was smiling,
and the sun was shining brightly, and the sky was smiling.

Then one day when the world had put me in its tomb,
and my life was just an empty room,
I went to my tree and sat there in my gloom,
and the light was fading dimly, and the sky was crying,
and the light was fading dimly, and the sky was crying.

Then my tree bent its branches low down to the ground,
and its green leaves shrouded up my mind,
and I left the world somewhere behind,
and I did not know what I would find,
but the sun was shining brightly, and the sky was smiling,
Oh the sun was shining brightly, and the sky was smiling.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Trees - the funny side? (songs about...)
From: GUEST
Date: 01 May 06 - 01:47 PM

"Wooden tree" by Ivor Cutler.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
  Share Thread:
More...

Reply to Thread
Subject:  Help
From:
Preview   Automatic Linebreaks   Make a link ("blue clicky")


Mudcat time: 8 April 10:18 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.