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BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!

Cluin 12 May 06 - 12:53 AM
NH Dave 12 May 06 - 12:56 AM
John O'L 12 May 06 - 01:02 AM
CarolC 12 May 06 - 01:03 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 01:07 AM
Peace 12 May 06 - 01:07 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 01:08 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 01:11 AM
Peace 12 May 06 - 01:11 AM
Peace 12 May 06 - 01:12 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 01:14 AM
Peace 12 May 06 - 01:16 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 01:16 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 01:17 AM
Peace 12 May 06 - 01:18 AM
CarolC 12 May 06 - 01:18 AM
Peace 12 May 06 - 01:18 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 01:18 AM
Peace 12 May 06 - 01:19 AM
Peace 12 May 06 - 01:20 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 01:24 AM
Peace 12 May 06 - 01:24 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 01:25 AM
CarolC 12 May 06 - 01:28 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 01:29 AM
Ebbie 12 May 06 - 01:56 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 02:09 AM
JohnInKansas 12 May 06 - 02:13 AM
Metchosin 12 May 06 - 02:33 AM
John O'L 12 May 06 - 02:39 AM
Emma B 12 May 06 - 02:42 AM
Dave Hanson 12 May 06 - 02:52 AM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 03:08 AM
John MacKenzie 12 May 06 - 03:38 AM
GUEST,Raggytash 12 May 06 - 05:10 AM
artbrooks 12 May 06 - 09:00 AM
GUEST,G 12 May 06 - 09:30 AM
DMcG 12 May 06 - 09:36 AM
GUEST, heric 12 May 06 - 12:54 PM
CarolC 12 May 06 - 01:47 PM
CarolC 12 May 06 - 01:49 PM
Cluin 12 May 06 - 02:13 PM
John MacKenzie 12 May 06 - 02:31 PM
Metchosin 12 May 06 - 02:43 PM
catspaw49 12 May 06 - 03:15 PM
CarolC 12 May 06 - 04:25 PM
Teribus 12 May 06 - 05:34 PM
Peace 12 May 06 - 07:04 PM
GUEST,Joe_F 12 May 06 - 11:46 PM
CarolC 12 May 06 - 11:58 PM
Peace 13 May 06 - 12:51 AM
Gurney 13 May 06 - 04:19 AM
Cluin 13 May 06 - 07:29 AM
Cluin 13 May 06 - 07:41 AM
Peace 13 May 06 - 02:55 PM
Peace 13 May 06 - 02:57 PM
freda underhill 13 May 06 - 03:12 PM
freda underhill 13 May 06 - 03:14 PM
Cluin 18 May 06 - 01:41 AM
John MacKenzie 18 May 06 - 03:38 AM
Peace 19 May 06 - 12:34 AM
CarolC 15 Jun 06 - 05:20 PM
CarolC 19 Jun 06 - 05:48 PM
Liz the Squeak 20 Jun 06 - 04:42 AM
David C. Carter 20 Jun 06 - 08:33 AM
Liz the Squeak 20 Jun 06 - 06:55 PM

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Subject: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 12:53 AM

How many ways do you know to tie a tie?

I had to wear a tie to work today and I've always had a mental block about tying them (I HATE WEARING A TIE!!!).

So I had, yet again, to call my Dad to give me a walk-through.

Forget those tie-a-tie.com websites. I can't follow those instructions. I always end up with a tie about 6 inches long and a knot the size of Seabiscuit's scrotum with them.

I think I've got it now, but I know damn well I'll have forgotten the whole process for next time. This always happens.

So...

1. How many versions exist for the Windsor Knot?

2. Why the Flying Philadelphia F__k do we still wear these things?


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: NH Dave
Date: 12 May 06 - 12:56 AM

Cluin,
    Buy a handful of suitable ties. Have your sales person tie them on your shirt. Slip the running end back out far enough to remove the tie from your neck. Keep these pre-tied ties hung neatly with the rest of your working clothes.

    The ties won't last as long, and you'll have to fight with your cleaners, to keep them from untieing them, but it WILL solve your current problem.

    Dave


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: John O'L
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:02 AM

1. There are as many ways to tie a Windsor Knot as there are people who wear them, and all of them are wrong.

2. They make you look less of a threat. No-one malicious would wear anything so absurdly trivial and demeaning.

OK? Now, do the bastard up the best way you can and go and press that flesh my man, you're lookin' sharp.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: CarolC
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:03 AM

Can't help you much with the your questions. Well, question number two I can... it's a phallic symbol. It helps men feel mighty when they wear a boring old suit. Plus they get to make a statement with the kinds of ties they wear. Helps them to feel all individual-like.

But on the subject of your problem... maybe you should get your dad to make a video of himself tying one, and then you can have him tell you how to do it without having to call him.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:07 AM

Carol...

Phallic, eh? (you dirty girl!) Then what's with the bow tie?


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:07 AM

Cluin: Buy a few leather zip-up ties. They have a built-in Windsor knot and they look cool. Just remember that after you use the urinal, it is important not to zip up and tuck in your tie. If you leave the washroom after doing only that, you will raise eyebrows.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:08 AM

And yeah, I know, I could go with a clip-on.

But I like to be able to undo that top button, behind the tie (I have a fairly thick neck).

Besides, they are lame.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:11 AM

Peace, thanks, but then I'd look like Mr. 1980s. I hate those twerps.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:11 AM

Zip-up ties.

Some of the patterns could use improvement, but with these you can unbutton the top of your shirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:12 AM

Hey, pal, if it was good enough for Opie's family, it's good enough for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:14 AM

But I need one I can tie around my head later when I get drunk.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:16 AM

LOL

Instructions for the Windsor knot.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:16 AM

Anmd NH Dave, I've tried that before, but like Rocky said to Bullwinkle... "That trick never works."


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:17 AM

Yeah, Peace, that's the page that really buggered me up and almost made me late for work.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:18 AM

Dang it. The zipper ties work well for that, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: CarolC
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:18 AM

Bow ties are an enigma to me. But Tucker Carlson wears them, and that tells me more than I ever wanted to know about him.

...but if you think about it in visual terms, maybe they represent the other bits. And if that's the case, I guess they might represent a man's need for his colleagues to think he's got big ones.

Maybe you should ask Tucker Carlson.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:18 AM

LOL


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:18 AM

And John O., I can't argue with your answers at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:19 AM

Cluin, you IDIOT. Use two mirrors and tie the knot behind your back.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:20 AM

Do for the tie what Jimi Hendrix did for the electric guitar.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:24 AM

Somebody oughta invent a device to tie your tie for you.

But it might be dangerous.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:24 AM

Practise these when you're sober . . .

You'll be a sailor in no time.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:25 AM

Carol, I don't think bow ties are an enigma.

Enigmas are kind of interesting and sexy. No one could ever accuse a bow tie of being either of those things.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: CarolC
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:28 AM

Good point, Cluin.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:29 AM

The Half-English (from Peace's last linked page)... that's the one my Dad learnt me. I like it because it's easy to get it even. Those other ones always come out lopsided.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:56 AM

Rather than a phallic symbol, I've always thought of them as having the original function of a napkin or gravy drip catcher. Kind of like the protective valance that used to be basted on coverlets so the whole thing wouldn't have to be washed as often - or ever.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 02:09 AM

Yep. Dropped a bit of lunch (reheated pasta w/bolognese sauce) down my tie. Saved the shirt, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 12 May 06 - 02:13 AM

Thirty five years ago, the last time I wore a tie, nearly all the then-current crop of ties one could find at retail (Central US, anyway) were too short and too bulky for a true Windsor knot. I really disliked the way most of the half-Windsor knots most people used always pointed a bit askew, no matter how carefully you tied them or often you straightened them. As suggested by some previous comments, a proper tie, if tied with one of the smaller knots, was somewhat at risk in encounters with the zipper on the trousers.

I thought once that perhaps the guys did that on purpose, so there'd be an excuse for some SWL to "straighten" them; but I tried and discarded that notion. It never seemed to work for me.

John


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Metchosin
Date: 12 May 06 - 02:33 AM

Cluin, if you must wear a tie, just undo the top button and loosen the tie and wear it that way. Looks cool and relaxed and nobody can tell if you know how to tie knots properly. Only pencil necked geeks can comfortably tolerate a tie.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: John O'L
Date: 12 May 06 - 02:39 AM

Stand in front of the mirror with your tie around your neck. The thick end should be in your right hand and the thin end in your left hand.
In the interest of clarity I will henceforth refer to the thick end as 'T' and the thin end as 't'.
After the first phase of tie manipulation (FPTM), we will obviously need to differentiate between the working ends and the original ends, which will still, from time to time, be in play. To this end I will refer to the new working ends as T1 and t1, and after the second phase of tie manipulation (SPTM), T2 and t2. Third phase, T3 and t3 and so on and so forth.
You will by now no doubt have noticed that the mirror image has T where t should be and t where T should be. In the interest of clarity, when refering to the mirror image I will of course use T(m), t(m), T1(m), t1(m), and so on and soforth.
Now then, flop T over t.
Make a cup of tea. This could take a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Emma B
Date: 12 May 06 - 02:42 AM

When I was a school girl we had to wear ties - yup it really was that long ago!
I wore the same knot for 5 years just unloosened it every night - after I got my dad to tie it for me on the very first day!

Now bow ties - mmmm very sexy - just picture a young Sean Connery lazily tying one....oooh I've come over all un-necessary!


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 12 May 06 - 02:52 AM

Just a note, the Windsor knot is illegal in HM Forces due to it being named after the Duke of Windsor, the King who abdicated and became a nazi sympathising traitor.

eric


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 03:08 AM

Emma, luv, I'm as hetero as they come, but even I know Mr. Connery could make a pocket protector and a fright wig look sexy, let alone a bow tie.

There's the exception that proves the rule (whatever that means).


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 May 06 - 03:38 AM

Oh Carol, phallic symbol indeed, sounds more feminist put down than Freudian definition.
I was just wondering what Freud would think of a woman enhancing the size of her chest by hanging an accordian over it, and then squeezing it in public!
Giok
☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻☺☻


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 12 May 06 - 05:10 AM

I have to wear a tie for work, doesn't bother me in the slighest, however if I call for a pint after work I frequently get Ladies commenting how smart someone looks when wearing a tie .... should tell you something lads


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: artbrooks
Date: 12 May 06 - 09:00 AM

Four-in-hand knot, otherwise known as "over, under, around, up and through". Tends to leave a lot of excess in longer ties, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: GUEST,G
Date: 12 May 06 - 09:30 AM

Cluin, wore a tie daily for 35* years. WIndsor works, just leave the collar button undone until you are ready to slip the knot up. Keeps the collar from turning up at the ends.

(had one on last night for a musical event - don't do that too frequently)


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: DMcG
Date: 12 May 06 - 09:36 AM

How many versions exist for the Windsor Knot?

You may find the answer here - but less than 85, presumably.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: GUEST, heric
Date: 12 May 06 - 12:54 PM

Why in heaven's name tie a windsor unless you are going for a 70's retro look? Four-in-hand of course.

Amos expressed a view of ties similar to what John-O said above, and it occurred to me that they are both right. It demonstrates your subservience to the system. That women like them . . I don't know why, unless it is an anachronistic symbol of wealth and status, and hence a matingtrigger.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: CarolC
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:47 PM

Oh Carol, phallic symbol indeed, sounds more feminist put down than Freudian definition.

You need to learn to recognize humour, John 'Giok' MacKenzie.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: CarolC
Date: 12 May 06 - 01:49 PM

And Freud was a pervert.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 12 May 06 - 02:13 PM

HA! Dress-down day today.

In your face, Windsor Knot!


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 May 06 - 02:31 PM

As do you Carol my whole post was a joke, I'm sorry if irony is a lost cause in some quarters.
Giok
☺☻☻☻☺ [Smiley face see, see the smiley face see?]


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Metchosin
Date: 12 May 06 - 02:43 PM

Here you go, More about the tie than you'd ever wish to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 May 06 - 03:15 PM

Personally I don't like ties although I wore one every working day for about 15 years. My canned response to the tie question was, "No, I don't like them but I like where they point."

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: CarolC
Date: 12 May 06 - 04:25 PM

Good one, John 'Giok' MacKenzie. You got me.

But my Freud comment was humourous, even though I think it's the truth.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Teribus
Date: 12 May 06 - 05:34 PM

I've never known why the knot is named after the Duke of Windsor, because he never used it. His ties were specially made with thicker cloth in order to produce a wider knot when tied with the conventional four in hand knot.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 12 May 06 - 07:04 PM

CLUIN: Yer problem is solved. Easy directions. However, I don't know what it says in semaphore, so watch out.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 12 May 06 - 11:46 PM

We were a Freudian family, but, oddly, I never heard that neckties were phallic symbols. I did learn that if someone gave you a necktie as a gift, it meant he wished you would hang yourself.

--- Joe Fineman    joe_f@verizon.net

||: They have the fun, and we have the baby. :||


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: CarolC
Date: 12 May 06 - 11:58 PM

I've been thinking about this since yesterday...

I think if a man were to wear both a bow tie, as well as a neck tie (both at the same time), I think that would make a hell of a statement.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 13 May 06 - 12:51 AM

If that's all he was wearing, I'd agree with you, Carol.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Gurney
Date: 13 May 06 - 04:19 AM

How many ways to tie a windsor knot? Just one, the same number as a reef knot. I only know three knots to tie a necktie, and I'll wear a tie for weddings and funerals.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 13 May 06 - 07:29 AM

That's the one, Peace. Even I can get it right with that one.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 13 May 06 - 07:41 AM

A statement, Carol? Yes. Especially with the accompanying fright wig, round rubber nose, big shoes and a car horn. The statement would be, "Guess what time it is, Kids!"

How about one of those thin ribbon Col Sanders ties? The statement there is "Oh, you're gonna buy me chicken! Ohhhhh!"


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 13 May 06 - 02:55 PM

Have a few beers and then do this one.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 13 May 06 - 02:57 PM

"That f___in' Windsor Knot!"

HEY, Cluin, there IS no f in Windsor Knot.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: freda underhill
Date: 13 May 06 - 03:12 PM

it all started in China..


I heard that a few years ago, some European designers tried to get men to move on from wearing neckties, because both the ties and the flappy collars they're worn with are so daggy.

But businessmen were conservative and too scared to change - we may have to put up with thzem for millenia!


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: freda underhill
Date: 13 May 06 - 03:14 PM

(the neckties, that is!) :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Cluin
Date: 18 May 06 - 01:41 AM

My dad gave me a present today..... a zip-up tie.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 May 06 - 03:38 AM

'daggy' Freda, I know what it means, but it may puzzle others who don't speak Strine!
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Peace
Date: 19 May 06 - 12:34 AM

"My dad gave me a present today..... a zip-up tie."

Well, do you look SNAZZY?


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Jun 06 - 05:20 PM

Hey Cluin....

Here's a video that shows how to tie a four-in-hand knot. Do you think you would find this video helpful if you needed to learn how to tie this kind of knot?

http://alcdv.com/Movie_Tie_L.html


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: CarolC
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 05:48 PM

yoo hoo...

Oh, yooou hooo...

Anybody home?


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 04:42 AM

My mum used to make Bridport neckties.... she worked in the rope factory that supplied the UK prisons with rope for hangings.

At Bridport in Dorset, rope & netmaking have been the major industry since the 13th Century but since the death penalty was repealed in the 1960s, their most famous products are the nets for Wimbledon Tennis tournaments.

Todays useless information brought to you by

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: David C. Carter
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 08:33 AM

I think the 'Windsor Knot'was what the people at the time of his abdication,would have liked to have used to strangle him with!Hence the name.

D.


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Subject: RE: BS: That f___in' Windsor Knot!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Jun 06 - 06:55 PM

As opposed to the Windsor Nit... Edward.

LTS


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