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BS: Pardon me Roy,

Peace 18 Jun 06 - 08:19 PM
bobad 18 Jun 06 - 08:24 PM
Peace 18 Jun 06 - 08:25 PM
bobad 18 Jun 06 - 08:26 PM
frogprince 18 Jun 06 - 08:28 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 06 - 10:04 PM
SINSULL 18 Jun 06 - 10:41 PM
frogprince 18 Jun 06 - 10:59 PM
number 6 18 Jun 06 - 10:59 PM
JohnInKansas 19 Jun 06 - 01:15 AM
GUEST,Art Thieme 19 Jun 06 - 01:29 AM
open mike 19 Jun 06 - 02:04 AM
Jeanie 19 Jun 06 - 02:30 AM
Folkiedave 19 Jun 06 - 02:34 AM
GUEST,Elfcall 19 Jun 06 - 03:27 AM
Declan 19 Jun 06 - 03:59 AM
Morticia 19 Jun 06 - 05:21 AM
catspaw49 19 Jun 06 - 05:33 AM
Liz the Squeak 19 Jun 06 - 06:11 AM
wysiwyg 19 Jun 06 - 06:19 AM
catspaw49 19 Jun 06 - 07:42 AM
Azizi 19 Jun 06 - 07:54 AM
Morticia 19 Jun 06 - 08:00 AM
BuckMulligan 19 Jun 06 - 08:15 AM
Splott Man 19 Jun 06 - 08:32 AM
Rapparee 19 Jun 06 - 08:53 AM
Azizi 19 Jun 06 - 10:12 AM
Den 19 Jun 06 - 10:58 AM
Peace 19 Jun 06 - 11:06 AM
John Hardly 19 Jun 06 - 11:14 AM
Becca72 19 Jun 06 - 11:15 AM
catspaw49 19 Jun 06 - 11:38 AM
John MacKenzie 19 Jun 06 - 11:41 AM
Ernest 19 Jun 06 - 11:58 AM
gnu 19 Jun 06 - 02:09 PM
fat B****rd 19 Jun 06 - 02:58 PM
Bill D 19 Jun 06 - 05:55 PM
John MacKenzie 19 Jun 06 - 06:02 PM
GUEST,khandu 19 Jun 06 - 06:17 PM
Bill D 19 Jun 06 - 07:16 PM
gnu 19 Jun 06 - 07:58 PM
JohnInKansas 19 Jun 06 - 08:07 PM
John on the Sunset Coast 19 Jun 06 - 08:11 PM
RobbieWilson 19 Jun 06 - 08:29 PM
RobbieWilson 19 Jun 06 - 08:30 PM
GUEST,Art Thieme 19 Jun 06 - 09:14 PM
SINSULL 19 Jun 06 - 09:49 PM
jeffp 19 Jun 06 - 10:03 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 06 - 10:23 PM
Cool Beans 19 Jun 06 - 10:40 PM

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Subject: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 06 - 08:19 PM

is this the cat who chewed your new shoes?


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: bobad
Date: 18 Jun 06 - 08:24 PM

When I saw the title of your post that line was the first thing that popped into my head....scary.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 06 - 08:25 PM

I'm startin' to worry about you.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: bobad
Date: 18 Jun 06 - 08:26 PM

Yeah, me too.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: frogprince
Date: 18 Jun 06 - 08:28 PM

'n our Sunny School teacher taught us a new song, "Gladly the Cross-eyed Bear"....


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 06 - 10:04 PM

Oh! Oh! I know that one! It's Hawaiian! "Lard on my poi...."


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Jun 06 - 10:41 PM

Rudolf, the Red, loves rain, Dear.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: frogprince
Date: 18 Jun 06 - 10:59 PM

All non-Christians got a place in the fire;
Some burn low and some burn higher...


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: number 6
Date: 18 Jun 06 - 10:59 PM

No ... it was Bella the dog.

sIx


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 01:15 AM

And nobody respects "Olive, the other reindeer." ('cept Shel?)

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 01:29 AM

Uh, folks, that pun is on my recent CD called CHICAGO TOWN AND POINTS WEST. It was a story I told to link two cowboy songs. The concert tape we used was from a show I did just about twenty years ago. It was about Roy Rogers... But I was using that line as far back as 30 years.

Day job vu all over again!! ;-)

Love,

Art Thieme
(it's available from www.folklegacy.com!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: open mike
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 02:04 AM

I, also, finished the line before scrolling down!

but i think Rudolph knows rain (as well as loving it)

Abie See De goldfish? 'ell 'em 'en no goldfish. 'Es 'em are.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Jeanie
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 02:30 AM

OS, OAR !
- jeanie


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Folkiedave
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 02:34 AM

I met a woman in a disco in California. She stole my heart.

I left my heart in Sam Planks Disco.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: GUEST,Elfcall
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 03:27 AM

or the final line to a very old Joke

Rude Olf the Ted loathes train beer!

Elfcall


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Declan
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 03:59 AM

Then there's the one about the man who finds out that his dog has died. Don't look so sad, I know its Rover


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Morticia
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 05:21 AM

We're Rolling a Gong on the Chest of a Slave was my favourite for years but then I transferred my affections to Nellie the Debutante tacked her Punt and said Goodbye to the Sir Gus.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 05:33 AM

Mudcatter khandu is Mississippi born and bred and he comes from the same county where the infamous Tallahatchie Bridge is located. He provided me with some details when WYSIWYG(Susan) was researching the song which was originally done many years ago by the famous Fisk University Jubilee Singers. We've had a number of threads discussing them around here. Quite a history! You may not be familiar with this part of their story, but the infamous '60's song by Bobbi Gentry, "Ode to Billie Joe," is directly linked to the Jubilee Singers.

The story of Billie Joe is based in truth but of course "stylized" to some degree. It is an old story, dating back to the the late '40's when the only daughter of John Hatch, a Mississippi Klansman of some note, was in love with the first black attorney in the state of Mississippi. Jubilee Simmons was the grandson of slaves and his parents had named him Jubilee because they had both been members of the famous Fisk Jubilee Singers, where they had actually first met and fallen in love. He had gone to law school at the University of Chicago and returned to his family's home state of Mississippi, taking up residence in Carroll county in 1948.

Klansman John Hatch's daughter was known to be a bit wild and young Kelli had already incurred her father's wrath on numerous occasions. Kelli was living with two other 22 year old women in the small town of Campton, Mississippi when she met and began dating Simmons. Her father learned of it a few weeks later and came into town drunk with some Klan buddies to hunt down and kill Simmons. Simmons law offices were across from the county courthouse and through an open window he could hear the drunken invectives hurled his way from across the square. He slipped out a back door and went to Kelli's house to take her away and save them both from the murderous rancor of her father and his equally violent "brethren."

Not finding Jubilee in his office the Klansmen split up to search for him and John Hatch went to his daughter's, presumably to beat her or possibly (and probably) worse. He arrived before the pair had left and headed in the back porch door adjoining the kitchen. Seeing him coming, Simmons grabbed a kitchen knife and jumped atop the counter and then onto the top of the refrigerator that stood by the door. As John Hatch passed, he didn't notice Simmons who then jumped him safely from behind and in the ensuing struggle, Hatch was stabbed with the knife. The lovers bagged his body and threw it off the bridge on their way out of town. They were on their way to Chicago when they were arrested in Clarksville, Tennessee and returned for trial in Mississippi. Jubilee represented both and thanks to the testimony of one of the roommates and Mrs. Hatch, the wife of the deceased and Kelli's mother, who had suffered abuse for years at the hands of her husband, both were acquitted and moved to Chicago where he established a moderately successful practice on the south side.

The original song told the story as it was, but owing to legal considerations, the Gentry version was done instead. The original was titled, "The Day that Jubilee the Barrister Jumped Off of Kelli Hatch's Fridge."






















Sorry...........


Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 06:11 AM

Spaw - you owe me new curtains..... fried egg sandwiches and that sort of story just do not go together!!!

I must confess to thinking of the cat that chewed as well......

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 06:19 AM

:~)

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 07:42 AM

During World War II, the prisoners of Stalag 15, many of them Allied spies, were attempting yet another daring prison break. On this particular night, Major O'Roarke and Lieutenant Flanagan were chosen to try to cut their way through the bars of the East gate.

They were hard at work when the siren sounded, and the floodlights caught them in the act. As the German officer led them away, O'Roarke said, "We were so careful. How did you ever catch us?"

The German replied,"It's very simple. Somehow, I can always tell when Irish spies are filing."


Spaw -- I love Feghoots.......


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Azizi
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 07:54 AM

Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's a cultural thing...

I "got" 'Rudolf, the Red, loves rain, Dear'; 'Gladly the Cross-eyed Bear' and 'I left my heart in Sam Planks Disco'.

However, I'm not familiar with 'Pardon me Roy is this the cat who chewed your new shoes?'.

I'd appreciate it if someone would explain that play on words.

Thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Morticia
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 08:00 AM

Pardon me boss, is this the Chattanooga Choo-choo


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: BuckMulligan
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 08:15 AM

In a less politically-correct era, I believe the line was "Pardon me boy," - which rhymes better with the punch line.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Splott Man
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 08:32 AM

The squaw on the hippopotamus....


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 08:53 AM

As I parked down on the streets of Laredo
As I parked down in Laredo one day
I met a fair maiden who was handing out tickets
She gave me a ticket and then drove away.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Azizi
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 10:12 AM

"Pardon me boy, is this the Chattanooga Choo-choo"

Okey dokey. I get it now.

Thanks. I appreciate your responses.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Den
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 10:58 AM

Leprosy, there are pieces falling off of me
I'm not half the man I used to be
Since I've come down with leprosy.

Done to the tune of Yesterday.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 11:06 AM

Check the balls on that big collie,
Tra la la la la la la la la.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John Hardly
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 11:14 AM

Hold me closer Tony Danza
Count the headlice on the highway.


I am so glad that Jubille and his bride were set free. That story had everything -- intrigue, passion, a nail-biting chase scene, and bullshit.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Becca72
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 11:15 AM

Elton John has great songs for this...

"Someone shaved my wife tonight"
"Don't let your son go down on me"
"Hold me closer, Tony Danza"


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 11:38 AM

I think this is the favorite one on Mudcat, told by at least 5 or 6 'Catters multiple times each. One of them even claimed ownership which he didn't have! The guy swore it was an original....it wasn't. But it is the Mudcat Feghoot Favorite:

Another thing you might consider is ordering this tonic or tea or whatever you call it from Mercy General Hospital in Melbourne, Australia. Does a great job of helping the heart to heal if you can stand the stuff. Not to gross you out too much, but this tea/tonic stuff is made from Koala Bears and some other herbs. It's completely disgusting but it works. And when I say disgusting......well, to be frank, there are some chunky little bits and hair and stuff in it. I wrote and asked them if they could at least get the hair and the chunkier bits out and they wrote back saying, "The Koala Tea of Mercy is not strained."

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 11:41 AM

Someone shafted Evelyn from South Pacific.
I must go now as Desmond Dekker tells me Me ears are alight. It's true what the eskimo said, you can't have your kayak and heat it.

There were twin brothers who when their father the chief died were at loggerheads over who should succeed him and become chief.
One brother decided that if he stole and hid the throne he would prevent his brother becoming chief.
However that night there was a terrible tropical storm, and his grass hut was demolished by the wind. The throne which he had hidden in the attic of this hut, fell on top of him and killed him outright.
Which just goes to prove that....................................
People who live in grass houses, shouldn't stow thrones!

Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Ernest
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 11:58 AM

Follow-up to the "leprosy"-variation of Yesterday:

Syphilis, why does it hurt when I take a piss
all I wanted was a simple kiss
oh god, now I got syphilis

as sung by John Morell...


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 02:09 PM

Oh, I've got a brand new pair of underwear, you wanna have a look and see?


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: fat B****rd
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 02:58 PM

"Soupacanofrigidlipsticksrambledeggsatrocious"


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 05:55 PM

Once there was a marine biologist who loved dolphins. He spent his time trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea. One day, in a fit of inventive genius, he came up with a serum that would make dolphins live forever!
Of course he was ecstatic. But he soon realized that in order to mass produce this serum he would need large amounts of a certain compound that was only found in nature in the metabolism of a rare South American bird. Carried away by his love for dolphins, he resolved that he would go to the zoo and steal one of these birds.

Unbeknownst to him, as he was arriving at the zoo an elderly lion was escaping from its cage. The zoo keepers were alarmed and immediately began combing the zoo for the escaped animal, unaware that it had simply lain down on the sidewalk and had gone to sleep.

Meanwhile, the marine biologist arrived at the zoo and procured his bird. He was so excited by the prospect of helping his dolphins that he stepped absentmindedly over the sleeping lion on his way back to his car.










Immediately, 15 policemen converged on him and arrested him for.... transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 06:02 PM

Ooh Bill !!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 06:17 PM

Yes, at the same zoo, the zookeepers were excited at the news that they were finally getting a gnu. They had hurriedly prepared a new cage for the gnu. All that remained in completing the cage was a few boxes of tiles that were to be laid. In fact, the boxes of tiles had been placed in a corner of the cage awaiting the tileman. Unfortunately, the tileman had been delayed and the tiles remained in their boxes in the cage when the new gnu arrived.

The zookeepers decided to put the gnu into the new cage despite the unlaid tiles.

Amazingly, the next morning, the tiles were all laid, and it was apparent the gnu had laid the tiles himself.
The evening headlines read:

"Typical gnu and tiler, too"


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 07:16 PM

I had a gnu once, got him from an exotic animal farm that was going out of business...he was pretty smart, but he was getting on in years. I had thought he & I could share our time together better if I could get him to learn little tasks like bringing in the newspaper, chasing away intruders and maybe even some stunts like rolling over, playing dead and walking on his hind legs......but it wasn't to be. He was either too stubborn or he knew it was beyond his abilities since he was not young enough....I guess you can't teach an old Gnu dog tricks.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 07:58 PM

>:-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 08:07 PM

We have friends who frequently burst out with:

"She thinks I steal cars."

It's apparently an insider reference to her misunderstanding, during courtship, of his rendition of:

She thinks I still care."

John


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 08:11 PM

The droppings of the Fu Bird can be deadly if you try to wipe them off your person. So if the Fu shits, wear it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: RobbieWilson
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 08:29 PM

no, that's a hickory dacquiri doc


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: RobbieWilson
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 08:30 PM

that's the feline
say, can I give you a shine?


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 09:14 PM

A rather long tale I've posted elsewhere in this forum ends with the musical pun:

Haifa lootin'
Newton shootin'
Son-of-a-num from Barcelona,
Part time plowboy --- Joe !!!

Art


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 09:49 PM

Oh why not??? This should be a 20 minute monologue but I'll make it short and sweet.
The city of Rome was in chaos. An old woman came into the market from the countryside carrying a huge berry in a cart. People marvelled at its size and color. Its fragrance drove them mad. Soon a cult developed around this berry. People came from far and near to worship.
Well, the Emperor was not happy. And he stuck the local magistratee with the job of ending the heresy. By now, loyal Romans are in arms, visiting peasants are ready to revolt and it is a no win situation.
The magistrate picks his way to the front of the crowd. Romans hiss and boo. He holds his hand up and quietly says "Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears.
I come to seize her berry, not to praise it!"

Flip Wilson circa 1968


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: jeffp
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 10:03 PM

This has been a wonderful trip down memory lane. So many great punch lines to so many horrible jokes! Each of which I've told during my well-misspent life.

To which I can only add:

"He should have quit while he was still a head."


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 10:23 PM

On a very distant planet xenobiologists have found a human-like creature made of solid stone. More than gigantic, it was over 300 meters high and was, according to the instruments, very much alive. However, it only sat in a chair, its chin in its right hand, like Rodin's "The Thinker."

The scientists tried everything they could think of to get some reaction from it, but to no avail. After months of trying, one of them burst out in frustation, "WHY would nature create such a marvelous, living, and obviously intelligent creature which only sits silently??"

It was the first time a question had been asked in the creature's presence. Suddenly, it stood up, arising to it's full height and after a moment's pause replied in a deep, thunderous voice, "It wouldn't!"

The scientist slapped himself on the forehead and exclaimed, "Of COURSE! It only stands to reason!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Pardon me Roy,
From: Cool Beans
Date: 19 Jun 06 - 10:40 PM

All I said was, "How far is the Old Log Inn?"


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